As Americans we are pretty spoiled. Things we see as simple pleasures are great luxuries to many in the world. But what really constitutes a necessity and what is just a thing that for now, we can do without and how do we tell the difference?
Every now and then we have misunderstandings in our benevolence ministry on what is a necessity and what is simply a luxury. One woman asked that we pay her cable bill. When we explain that a cable bill is not a necessity, she begins to get angry. Frustrated she asks us what her kids are supposed to do all day without cable? I’m not faulting her, it’s her perspective for where she is at right now. I wonder what she would tell a Haitian mother whose country has only been able to remove 2% of the rubble from a earthquake long since past?
Still another woman who is getting back on her feet and explains to us that she has nothing but a few items of clothing and list her number one need as a television.
We wade through the requests and almost everyone who fills out a form is helped but it is sometimes sad when I see that these people need much more than a TV. I am praying about how to best help our community. The single mom who needs school clothes for her kids is easy to help. The man who needs a suit to go to a job interview is a simple fix. Only what do we do with those who can’t pinpoint their need or who are misdirected in their need?
I had to laugh when a homeless man came in to get some clothes and water and then asked for a microwave. His reasoning? “Well, one day I’ll get on my feet and I’ll need it.”
Today I am sitting here wondering if the reason we are struggling with our economy is that we didn’t understand necessities? I wonder if we will get back to basics and will that be a good thing for America?
Proverbs 24:1 Don’t envy bad people; don’t even want to be around them. 2 All they think about is causing a disturbance; all they talk about is making trouble. 3 It takes wisdom to build a house, and understanding to set it on a firm foundation; 4 It takes knowledge to furnish its rooms with fine furniture and beautiful draperies. 5 It’s better to be wise than strong; intelligence outranks muscle any day. 6 Strategic planning is the key to warfare; to win, you need a lot of good counsel. 7 Wise conversation is way over the head of fools; in a serious discussion they haven’t a clue. 8 The person who’s always cooking up some evil soon gets a reputation as prince of rogues. 9 Fools incubate sin; cynics desecrate beauty. Rescue the Perishing 10 If you fall to pieces in a crisis, there wasn’t much to you in the first place. 11 Rescue the perishing; don’t hesitate to step in and help. 12 If you say, “Hey, that’s none of my business,” will that get you off the hook? Someone is watching you closely, you know – Someone not impressed with weak excuses. 13 Eat honey, dear child – it’s good for you – and delicacies that melt in your mouth. 14 Likewise knowledge, and wisdom for your soul – Get that and your future’s secured, your hope is on solid rock. 15 Don’t interfere with good people’s lives; don’t try to get the best of them. 16 No matter how many times you trip them up, God-loyal people don’t stay down long; Soon they’re up on their feet, while the wicked end up flat on their faces. 17 Don’t laugh when your enemy falls; don’t crow over his collapse. 18 God might see, and become very provoked, and then take pity on his plight. 19 Don’t bother your head with braggarts or wish you could succeed like the wicked. 20 Those people have no future at all; they’re headed down a dead-end street. 21 Fear God, dear child – respect your leaders; don’t be defiant or mutinous. 22 Without warning your life can turn upside-down, and who knows how or when it might happen? 23 It’s wrong, very wrong, to go along with injustice. 24 Whoever whitewashes the wicked gets a black mark in the history books, 25 But whoever exposes the wicked will be thanked and rewarded. 26 An honest answer is like a warm hug. 27 First plant your fields; then build your barn. 28 Don’t talk about your neighbors behind their backs – no slander or gossip, please. 29 Don’t say to anyone, “I’ll get back at you for what you did to me. I’ll make you pay for what you did!” 30 One day I walked by the field of an old lazybones, and then passed the vineyard of a lout; 31 They were overgrown with weeds, thick with thistles, all the fences broken down. 32 I took a long look and pondered what I saw; the fields preached me a sermon and I listened: 33 “A nap here, a nap there, a day off here, a day off there, sit back, take it easy – do you know what comes next? 34 Just this: You can look forward to a dirt-poor life, with poverty as your permanent houseguest!”
A little different post today instead of reading my opinion, I am asking for yours.
Suppose a friend comes to you and tells you a story that completely contradicts their walk with Christ. They never ask for your advice, they are merely talking.
Since we are called not to judge, is it wrong for you to give your unsolicited opinion?
Does your answer change if you are merely a friend or consider yourself a brother/sister in Christ?
While it seems an ancient practice, these things still do happen today. I am asking us all to read the article in the Huffington Post and to respond in prayer to God. I am becoming more aware of the atrocities directed at women globally and while God has not changed my focus from the local body of women I serve, he is broadening my horizons and realizations to what is happening globally. May we learn how to be effective, even if it’s one woman at a time. Click Here to read the article.
TEHRAN, Iran — The lawyer for an Iranian woman sentenced to be stoned on an adultery conviction said Monday that he and her children are worried the delayed execution could be carried out soon with the end of a moratorium on death sentences for the Muslim holy month of Ramadan.
In an unusual turn in the case, the lawyer also confirmed that Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani was lashed 99 times last week in a separate punishment meted out because a British newspaper ran a picture of an unveiled woman mistakenly identified as her. Under Iran’s clerical rule, women must cover their hair in public. The newspaper later apologized for the error….
This is a part of a series on stepfamiles. To read the previous post click here.
From Cinderella’s perspective, she has three problems in life. A stepmother, named Lady Tremaine and two step-sisters, Anastasia and Drizella. Never mind that Cinderella’s biological parents are not on the scene, we assume they died because real parents don’t abandon their children, at least that is our concept, only where was the extended family that would have swept in to care for their granddaughter, niece or cousin? Our questions remain unanswered. The only thing we know for sure is that somehow the universe has been very cruel to Cinderella.
That is probably the only truth for which we can be sure of. Cinderella has been given a raw deal. For whatever reason her mom was gone first. If you haven’t been a product of a divorced family then your perspective is limited but you can be sure that losing a mother or father in death or divorce is traumatic for a child. Compound that with a remarriage and the child gets the idea that people can be replaced. That isn’t such an easy concept to swallow when you’re a child because while the adults are thinking in terms of adults and romantic love, of failure and loss, a child is thinking that they themselves can be replaced, that maybe love isn’t forever, foundations are not really set and maybe down the road they will be put away for another.
You see, as adults we have a bit more understanding about love, but children are limited in their understanding. All they know is they have a mom and dad and they don’t want or need another. Only they’re children and they don’t get a choice. The choice is made for them and they are told they have to like it and get along. Well, let’s be real, that’s not so easy.
So the kids come with baggage of resentment and loss, of misunderstandings and misgivings and it’s all perfectly normal, only it certainly puts a wedge in adult plans doesn’t it? Walls quickly go up, feelings get hurt and trampled on all the way around, and well, we won’t even discuss the guilt the biological parent feels as they get caught in a trap of being in the middle of a war they call home. Reality sets in and it’s not pretty.
All camps begin to pull in opposite directions and territorial lines begin to be drawn. Any upset in a plan or ideal becomes a major deal and the fight is on. Parents pull for their own child and loyalties rise. Fights ensue among the newlyweds as both feel torn between their love for their child and the love for their new spouse. The children complain as they are shuffled from house to house and suddenly houses are fighting because they hear, as we did, only Cinderella’s side of the tale and it looks dark and dismal. No one considers that every party to this war has a point.
For a stepmom her challenge is difficult, and I dare say, even more than a stepdad’s challenge because a mother is called to calm and influence her home. She is the peace in a normal house and suddenly all fingers are pointed in her direction, not only from the camps within her home but society at large who faults her because people are not happy under her care. What she does next will be critical for the survival of her marriage and her family.
We all know her. It’s not us of course but we all know her. You know the one. Your friend, the one who is over all the time for coffee or to hang out as long as there is not a man in the picture. This isn’t so bad, you think to yourself, because we all do it to a certain extent. In those first few weeks of a relationship when lust permeates our thought process and we see are the wonderful attributes this man has. Yes, we all know her.
We all see her. She’s in church on Sunday and at TLC (or your form of it) on Monday evenings while she’s alone but once her man comes around she drops out. She’s beautiful on the outside but so insecure on the inside. Her convictions are solid until they are tested. You see, actions speak louder than words.
Then her new boyfriend asks her to sleep with him. She knows her God and His point of view on fornication but she shoves all the knowledge aside because someone actually loves her. Well, you see, he hasn’t actually said those exact words but we all know they are coming at some point, right? We all know she said she’d never date ‘the mission field’ but her new man has promised he’ll come to church and well, we all know how that will turn out.
She tells us he drinks a little too much. It’s okay, she continues, because she know it’s just the stress of his baby mama drama. You see, he wants to change. He just needs a little sex, a little fix-it and a lot less nagging.
So you ask her about his ex-wife. Only he doesn’t have one. You see, he got hooked up with a slutty girl and she got pregnant on purpose. She was a party girl and your friend, well, she just goes clubbing with her man now because it’s where his friends hang out. They don’t do anything there, they just go to dance and drink and relieve their stress. By the way, you tell her, she hasn’t brought him to church yet. No, she says, because he’s afraid of being judged and last week he wasn’t feeling well.
She tells you that he’s asked her to move in with him. He wants to have a big wedding and give her a big ring, only he can’t afford to right now. She knows it’s not what God would want but she knows if she just hangs out a little while longer he’ll give her the things she wants. She also mentions that he’s been too stressed out to see his child but he just needs her to pull him out of his slump.
She tells you that he quit his job and now she is the sole support of her family. You remind her of the scripture that says if a man doesn’t work he shouldn’t eat but she informs you he is trying to find himself. He’s not spending too much time with his child yet. She wonders if she should pay his portion of the child support payments so he doesn’t fall behind?
So now your friend has abandoned her belief system for her man. The Holy Spirit leaves and she doesn’t even know it. She has traded God for a man. Her heart has chosen its treasure. You mourn for your friend but her romantic notion of what love is supposed to look like has become idolatry. God says He will never be second. She missed that part I guess.
Six months later she comes to you and now she is pregnant. Now your friend is the slutty party girl and her boyfriend has moved on to the next best thing. You won’t say you told her so. You just hold her and try to be there for this next difficult phase of her life. She now has more hard choices to make. Move home to her parents house to raise a child or put the child up for adoption. Her life has been irrevocably changed.
Don’t be like your friends. Smart women stick to their beliefs. It’s the core of who they are. It’s what defines them. Remember that. No man can ever take the place of God in your life and no one can ever tell you who you are. That has to be determined between you and God. You have to be worth more than that.
Pastor Susan 