Being a stepmom is not an easy task. There are rewards but also deep sadness that comes with the job. I read this a couple of days ago. I don’t know who wrote it, I wish I did so I could give credit where it is due because it is a profound writing. I know about this feeling. This is the reason why I am resolved to talk about the journey of blending a family. This is the reason why teaching and support is so vitally important in the church and why I can’t stay quiet.
I am a StepMom. I am on the front burner, yet I stand in shadow. I am the pseudo mom, the substitute for the one who, for a time, would not be. I am visible, yet invisible. I am looked to for guidance, yet I pass on little to nothing as a result. My values are esteemed, yet in most part, not emulated. I am connected by… feelings of love and by their insistence I be Mom, yet I am disconnected by the harsh reality of biology and loyalty conflicts. I am the foil for all of her failures and I stand forever on shifting sands, always advancing then retreating into the relative safety of ambivalence. I am asked to be what she is not, yet I am never completely acceptable. I am the Shadow mom and this is my reality.