A Special Gift

As pastors we are handing down our first grandson a treasure of tradition. When he comes to church with us he learns to praise and lift up hands to his Heavenly Father. Papa and Nana in their cowboy boots at the altar and Cameron nearby.

While at Christine Caine’s Propel Conference I heard Lisa Harper explain that the greatest inheritance she received was her father’s bible. In it were notes, highlights and underscores, and old bulletins.

I was reminded of that story at the birth of my first grandson, Cameron. So last year, I purchased a journaling coloring bible.

I began to write sermon notes and special things I want him to read one day. Titles of his Papa’s sermons and little funny things that happen. I was careful not to color on any of the pages but instead leave those pages for him to color as he visits and goes to church with Nana and Papa. At 19 months old he is so attached to his Papa that when he sees him walk to the pulpit to deliver his message Cameron wants to follow him. Will he remember the words spoken? Will he remember the heart in which we serve the Lord?

We are in a post church age and a digital age at that. I admittedly use my bible app more than I do my actual bible, but as Lisa Harper pointed out, there is a great gift in reading what was important in a moment to a previous generation. Maybe it will spark an interest in a renewed look at faith to one who considered Christianity to be a thing of past. As an old pastor told me once, “I don’t know what the future holds but I know it is marvelous.”

As we watch Cameron intensely watch his Papa preach his sermon on Sunday we don’t know the impact. We bought him a toddler microphone and thought we would have to explain what to do with it. Not at all! Instead he began to make noises as he reached for the microphone stand.

Consider getting an old fashioned hands on bible and begin to write out notes and meaningful scriptures to leave for the next generation. You don’t know the lives that will be touched and the hearts that will remember what you loved about your walk with Jesus.

What’s Coming Out?

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That’s the problem with the Pounce and Flounce isn’t it? We make definitive statements for drama’s effect only to have it boomerang.

To the significant other: “I’m leaving!”, when we know we aren’t going anywhere for long.

To the family or friend: “You hurt me and I’m not coming back until you say sorry.” Then we take every opportunity to let everyone know why we are feuding, or worse we pretend innocence and point to how people hurt us.

To anyone that will listen: “I don’t know why I stayed this long.”

Or in other words,

“You can’t tell me what to do.” 

To the Authority Figure: “Well if you’re going to do that then I’m not participating.”

Then we walk out as if we’re a commanding general who just won a war. We Pounce on the person and Flounce away to show them. Show them what though? Show them that we are masters at manipulation. This is the adult version of the two year-old trantrum being played out. 

When the trantrum is over and we calm down, and want/need, to come back, now we either have to apologize or have that awkward thing of the pounce and flounce between us that needs to be addressed.

Sometimes we pretend nothing happened. Sometimes we are violent slanderers, sometimes we are silent stew-ers, sometimes we play injured party accepting no responsibility and pointing fingers or worse we act as if all of this is so beneath us and we don’t care a bit about it in retaliation.

If we do it often enough, and with Social Media, we certainly have an easy platform, we develop a reputation of histrionics where people ignore our high drama. We become unsafe because others never know when it will turn on them and they will be the object of the next post.

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You see whatever is in our hearts comes spilling out. Now that we have a world wide platform people get to see who we really are. Hey, I’m not immune to cringe-worthy posts either. I’m not ashamed to take down posts that  I have posted which turn negative. It is not beneath me to just say no and sorry to something which may inflame people I care about.

Recently our church had 21 Days Of Prayer where prayers were written on cards and then each night we gathered together to pray for each card. There were incredible testimonies of breakthrough, miracles of healing, and in the midst of the profound and sacred some took the opportunity of prayer to chastise another. I called it the pounce and flounce of prayer. The violence of this action shows the power of our world today in which we can hide behind words not spoken face to face. Cowardly at best, the pounce and flounce has taken on new levels. The cards were quickly plucked from the pile and shredded. The Bible says that what is in the heart comes out and I wonder as believers how we think this honors God? I wonder how I honor God?

Proverbs 21:2 All deeds are right in the sight of the doer, but the Lord weighs the heart.

Luke 6:45 The good person out of the good treasure of the heart produces good, and the evil person out of evil treasure produces evil; for it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks.

So while I examine my heart for impure motive, I urge you to take a walk through your heart and settle the issues that so quickly ensnare us into behavior that will never lead us to victory.

 

If Only I Didn’t Know

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You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you. ~ Matthew 5:4 The Message

Don’t you hate it when your life is cruising along in auto-pilot and you get hit with a revelation you wished you had never known? The awareness it brings is such a shock to the system. Immediately you have to think about what to do with the information. Where is the line or boundary for you? What is the right thing to do?

A friend lets you know that a person with whom you didn’t really have a problem doesn’t like you. I mean, it wasn’t like you were best friends or anything but you thought you two were fine with each other.

You’re doing your monthly breast examine and feel that lump that you thought happened to other people.

You find text messages from a co-worker on your spouse’s phone and discover something you never wanted to know.

You become a Christ follower and discover that there is that little area over in the corner of your life that isn’t consistent with this new life.

Now What?

In each of these cases you can’t ignore the next step for very long. As hard as it is to face facts, you must. They simply don’t disappear without action. Begin with a good assessment of where you are, then begin to pray for what you want the outcome to be.

Do you want to restore the possibility of friendship? Then humility and a conversation will need to take place. Often we excuse our behavior and pin it all on the other person but what is our role in this?

You’ll need a healing miracle as you make a doctor’s appointment and get that mammogram. Don’t panic, don’t delay, and don’t ask God to bless you based on your resume. Instead pray for healing and ask for mercy.

Do you want to see your marriage restored? Then you’ll need to have some tough conversations, some realizations of who the two of you really are, and if this marriage is worth saving. You’ll have to decide to never bring it up again and to begin the process of restoration. Don’t make your case before God for blessings, instead ask God to give you clarity of vision, strategy, and ask him to show himself mighty in this situation.

Do you really want this walk with Jesus to work to its full potential? Don’t make excuses, voluntarily come clean with the Lord and ask Him for His help and guidance.

You can’t ignore what you learn and have a healthy life. You can’t accept what you’re unwilling to accept. You can move forward with knowledge when you examine that area of your life with true acknowledgment of what the reality of the situation is.

Unfortunately, we can’t un-know what we know but we can move forward into an excellent future if we stop making excuses, stop listening to other voices, get clear about what it is we want, and humble ourselves before our Lord.

 

What If We Didn’t?

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There used to be a day when we had Polaroid Cameras. We snapped a picture, and out popped a black image framed by white paper that within a few minutes time turned into a picture before our eyes. They were candid shots. There was no delete and do-over, film cost money and you only got a limited amount of film. They were real.

Now we practice selfies. We can take a hundred pictures until we get it right and we practice angles, and we practice lighting, and we watch make-up tutorials, and then we pretend this was a candid shot and that we look this way all of the time. It’s completely fake.

When I was four, my father lifted me into his arms and we went into the den. My mom, my baby brother, and our nanny were sitting in the den and my dad said, “Remember this, you’re watching history.” I sat on the floor as we watched the first man walk on the moon. I don’t know if this is where it started but throughout my entire life I have memorized moments. Pictures can fade but memories are what life is made of.

What if we played with our children and didn’t post about it?

What if we drank coffee and didn’t advertise the fact that we did?

What if our ordinary daily lives were lived not in an underlying need to be seen and thought of as good but just to be who we are?

What if we got real and didn’t protest the opinion of others and instead embraced their right to feel differently?

Would the need for comparison end?

What if we just didn’t participate?

What if we checked out facts before posting our agenda?

Would polite conversations be had face to face?

What if we told the truth?

What if we stopped living to one-up our neighbor?

What if we stopped having wars on social media?

Would we stop having wars in the street?

 

 

 

Saying What I Want to Hear

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My girlfriend is dating one of those undateable guys. The no job, no car, going to be a millionaire one day, you need to check out my abs kind of guy. He keeps talking about what he is going to do one day. Except if you looked at his life five years ago, it looks just like right now. When we talk she admits she has reservations but he keeps saying what she wants to hear.  All the while she has to pick him up and pay for the dates. THAT’S another topic for another day.

We talked again last week and I asked her if I could blog about her. She laughed and agreed.

Potential is one of those things that can trip us up. You can see it but it doesn’t mean the person who has it will ever play it out.

The key here is to know who you are and know what you want because if you aren’t clear you’ll make unhealthy decisions that will wreck your life and you’ll ask yourself one day, “How did I get here?”

When I think about it, this advice goes for any decision in your life.

Do you have goals?

Do you have vision?

Are the things you are doing today leading towards or away from those goals?

 

 

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Your mommy made this video for me on my birthday and it made me cry because it’s true, I didn’t know you were my reason.

You came on your terms. You weren’t due to arrive quite yet. In fact, your parents still had things to do. From the very beginning you showed us you call your own shots, and if we’re honest, ours too. You showed up on 5/5/17. A Cinco De Mayo baby. Cameron Joshua Martinez was the name they placed on you. Cinco, Five, the number of God’s grace and favor towards man, and that is completely you Cameron. You are God’s favor upon our lives. I was so ready for you. I had prayed for you, dreamed about you, and so totally wanted you in my life. SHHHH! Don’t tell anyone but while the Prophet and Parents predicted a girl, I knew you were a boy. I knew you were a boy before you were conceived because I pray hard.

While your mommy was resting and trying to get comfortable, I put the very first diaper and sleeper on you and wrapped you in your receiving blanket. I kept tearing up as I    looked at your beautiful face, okay your handsome face.

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Your Papa, well let’s just say I think this was the day you wrapped him around your finger. He talks about you all of time and tears up because he loves you so much. He is the annoying grandparent who pulls out his phone and shows everyone pictures and videos of you. He recently announced on Facebook that you were walking even before your parents announced it. He thinks you are amazing and he called you a prodigy the other day because you love to play the drums. From his mouth to God’s ear let him prophesy over you the blessing of music and coordination.

 

 

Now, with your first birthday coming up I have to tell you that this year has flown by. I  don’t even think I  blinked and you are turning one. We go and visit you often because we want to be in your life and we want to spend time with you. Lots of time with you.  You know us and immediately come to us and we’re “in the loves” as your Tia Casey used to say, and that makes my heart happy.

 

I expected to love you. I expected to spend time with you but I didn’t know the magnitude to which this love would reach. I love you beyond measure. Everything you do is a wonder. If God truly loves us more than this, I think my heart would explode at that level.

Sometimes I look at you and I see your mommy’s face, other times you look like your daddy but always there is a quiet determination in your eyes. You will achieve what you set out to accomplish. You are a great mix of the two of them. Serious like your daddy, and yet willing to set out on an adventure like your mommy. You also have a sarcastic sense of humor which is a generational curse blessing that you get from your daddy and I. You can say, “Dada”, when your daddy is not in the room but you call him “Mama” to his face just because you can. In fact we had a good laugh the other day because it sounded like you said, “BA-ON” for Baron, our new puppy, but when your daddy was trying to get you say “Dada” you stubbornly said, “Mama”. I am proud to say that you call me, “Nanananana”, when you feel like it.

 

Somewhere along the line I started calling you Hameron because you have learned how to manipulate with your please face,  and happy face, and funny face.

 

We share our secret times together. We let you do things like eat Cheese Puffs, and drive your car inside of the house.

 

 

I’m so happy to have you in my life. I’m grateful to God for you. I bless you with a Happy 1st Birthday and of course we bought you something awesome.

 

Happy Birthday Cameron. Your Nana and Papa love you with everything they are. You are truly a blessing.

Love,

Cam’s Nan

Before It Breaks

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I had been noticing that a line was forming on the back of my wedding ring but honestly, we’re pastors and the Christmas season is busy. I mean seriously, it has to wait because what pastor is working anywhere else but church during the second most important day of the year?

It began snagging things right after Christmas. Honestly, how does this happen? Sheesh! I’ll have to stop and take it to the shop, next week maybe. UGH what an inconvenience.

On New Year’s Day during our New Year’s Dinner it broke entirely. The weld came loose and my engagement ring and my wedding ring came apart. Not slowly either, just poof it was broken.

BAM! Then it hit me looking at my wedding ring on the kitchen counter that marriage is like that. The signs of trouble come up at the most inopportune times. We ignore them because we think there is a bigger picture and it will hang on, and vows, and forever, and all that.  After all, our marriage, like our ring is platinum, it’s not white gold. Platinum is 95% pure while white gold is 58% pure. We’re good, we’re in it for the long haul. These problems will wait until we have time to fix them.  So we keep going on with life as if there isn’t a problem brewing.

Things begin to hit a snag. An argument here, a passive aggressive action there, and we think we’ll get through it as we keep moving forward in other areas. We’re a team, teams have ups and downs.

Then all of a sudden it’s broken. Just like that. It isn’t like we didn’t know. It isn’t like we didn’t see it coming. It was never out of the blue. We may lie and say we didn’t know but we saw the crack and felt the snag.

Take the time to get your marriage serviced. Even the most loyal people have their limits. Even the most loving people make mistakes. Even the person with the upmost integrity breaks.

I read a study that said that 75% of all divorced couples say they made a mistake five years later they felt they quit too soon. Often it’s too late to go back and repair. One or the other has moved on. One or the other has had other children. It’s too late.

Thankfully for me, it was only my rings that are broken. My husband I work on diligently on our marriage because we know how important it is. We will alert each other to signs as they come up and we will take the time to fix any cracks as they arise. We aren’t perfect but we keep a line of communication open to one another and we examine ourselves regularly. We haven’t been opposed to getting professional help when needed either in the early years of blending our family. As my husband loves to tell people, “We’re in this for life. No one is leaving this marriage except in a box. Hmm I wonder if this is why sometimes I wake up with a pillow over my head?”

Yes, I married the comedian.

How’s your marriage?