Lulu the wonder dog sleeps with us most nights. My husband thinks that if the dog is going to be in HIS bed then she needs to contribute to the household somehow. I tell him that she makes the queen happy and therefore she more than earns her keep! He complains about the “flea bag” on a regular basis and they kick each other at night as they sleep.
Lu on the other hand, comes to me every time she gets in trouble for spinning three times before she lays down or for making too many noises at night or for bringing her squeak toy to bed. She also wants be included in the man’s midnight snacking so she wakes me up to tell on him.
I knew this was all an act on both their parts. So I waited until just the right moment and then caught it on film!
VIOLA!
Notice Lulu doing her usual thing of watching TV on our bed.
Notice she is snuggled up next to a body that is curled in her direction.
Notice the hand on the body is stroking her back.
THEN notice that it’s not my hand because trust me, my hand is not that hairy or manly.
Haha! He loves her! He won’t admit it, but he loves her! AND! She is just as in love with him. She follows him everywhere and she sees him as the Alpha as this house. Ya gotta love it! Guess she’s earned her keep!
Sometimes you have to take a step back in the midst of the turmoil in your life and admit that you’ve been looking through a peephole while God has been trying to broaden your view!
I can bank on every word of God. What that does for me is, it gives me the trust I need to follow him. It also means I can believe in him, I can count on him.
Many women can’t say that about their man. Yes, sometimes things have to be postponed but the man who keeps his promise can be trusted. If our need to be loved and secure in our man is a fact, and it is, then our man has to be a man of his word.
What is difference between a word and a promise? Absolutely nothing. God is not a God who should lie because every word that proceeds from his mouth is true and comes to pass. Therefore, every word becomes a promise, a vow and a reality. If we are made in his image then the same principle applies. It then limits what we say and how we say it and we are careful not to make promises we know we can’t keep.
A man worthy of your attention is one whose promises are true. It’s hard to tell that in a few months but over time you begin to see a pattern. This is why we never give our hearts too quickly because you can’t make informed decisions without knowledge.
Understand that not every promise can be fulfilled immediately although it would be nice huh? Sometimes that romantic Friday night dinner has to be postponed because of an emergency but it should always be fulfilled as its earliest possible moment and never ignored or put aside. Promises that are consistently postponed for the next best thing or the emergency that happens every Friday night at work is an indication of what you can expect in a long-term relationship. Maybe he isn’t that into you. Maybe he’s into you but he’s into his work more.
What about promises he made to others? Yes, it’s a character issue you need to play close attention to. The man who promised his wife to honor her and love her all the days of his life but is dating you is not a promise keeper. The man who decided he was not happy and left is wife and kids is also not a promise keeper. The man who made the baby with his last girlfriend is not a promise keeper. The man who cancels his visitation with his daughter this weekend, to take you away, is not a promise keeper. The man who can’t keep a job is irresponsible and therefore is not a promise keeper. You get the point. You, mighty woman, are not special or different. He will reap what he’s sown and he will reap it in your field. Not a good bet for me.
But he’s changed! Uh huh and I promise that lie has been told a million times! Wake up and take notice. Be sure that you know who your man is and make sure he has the character to do what he said he was going to do.
I love to worship the Lord. I’m not a big run the aisles kind of girl, I never have done that actually. I don’t dance at the altar most Sunday’s but I have on occasion. I don’t judge those who do, it’s their way. I do see many who have judged those who don’t dance and run and skip and turn circles. They see their act of dance or running or shouting of capturing the attention of God or ushering in His presence.
However, the God I serve is YHWH (Yaweh) He is ever present, all knowing, all seeing, all the time. I don’t have to dance to get his attention, I have it already. In His will or out of it, He knows where I am. So the question rolling around in my mind today is why do we do the things we do? Do we do them out of some expectation we have or do we do them because we think we have earn His glance? Is the motive for our dancing and running the aisle to capture His attention? If it is, then I wonder which god we serve? Do things have to be kooky and spooky to make the Lord arise and take notice? Are we raising a god as the people of Baal did? These thoughts lead me a bigger thought as I think of the worshippers of Baal during the days of Elijah.
When challenged to see who served the one true living God by Elijah the prophet, the people thought they had to get their god’s attention. You can read the story in 1 Kings 18. Today, for the sake of time and space, I bring you a portion of the story.
You see, Elijah challenged them to set up an altar and offering to their god. The God who answered first would be declared the one true living God.
26. So they took the bull given them and prepared it. Then they called on the name of Baal from morning till noon. “O Baal, answer us!” they shouted. But there was no response; no one answered. And they danced around the altar they had made.
27. At noon Elijah began to taunt them. “Shout louder!” he said. “Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened.”
28. So they shouted louder and slashed themselves with swords and spears, as was their custom, until their blood flowed.
29. Midday passed, and they continued their frantic prophesying until the time for the evening sacrifice. But there was no response, no one answered, no one paid attention.
They danced around the altar, they shouted they called upon the name of their god. They simply could not get their god’s attention. Elijah however, well, he simply prayed and let the Lord know his heart and God, and as is the Lord’s way, responded powerfully.
Be careful that your motive for your actions at the altar is not to wake a sleeping god or to feel some goosebump moment. Don’t frown on those who don’t feel the need to respond the way that you do. Above all don’t be fooled by a people who think this is the only way to get the attention of YHWH, it isn’t and never will be. Be certain that you dance out of sheer joy and praise for the One for whom we’ve given our life to. Dance because you’re overwhelmed by His presence and love. God is in the midst of His people always. He declared that whenever two or three are gathered there he is. Do we believe that as truth or do we have to promise Him entertainment to get him to show up? What are the motives that lead our actions? This is a heart check moment!
Don McNay a syndicated columnist wrote this article that I HAD to share! So true, so true!
Just say ‘no’ to adult children wanting money
By Don McNay
“My old man is another child that’s grown old.”
— John Prine
It seems like every family has one — the Child Who Never Grew Up.
They mooch off their parents well into their “adulthood.” They frequently need to “borrow” money, with no intention of paying it back. They always have car problems, relationship problems, “bad luck” or other sob stories.
All their problems have the same proposed solution: Money from mom and dad.
Often they are living with mommy and daddy, long past the time when their contemporaries are starting careers and families.
Concepts like budgeting, responsibility and ambition don’t make it into their vocabularies.
According to multiple media accounts, former Michigan basketball star Rumeal Robinson took mooching to a new art.
He tricked his mother into letting him mortgage her home. A headline in the Miami News Times sums it up: “Hoops hero Rumeal Robinson blew a fortune on strippers, got indicted and left his mom homeless.”
Sounds like a great guy.
Mooching children usually don’t hurt parents as dramatically as Rumeal Robinson did, but the results are still bad. Adult children with a “failure to launch” are dragging down parents who can’t afford to subsidize them.
The headline from a recent Newsweek online article read “Retired and Broke.”
According to the AARP, people over 55 is the age group most likely to declare bankruptcy. The article cites the usual bankruptcy causes, like medical expenses and credit card debts, but hammers on the idea of parents not giving money to their children.
The article ends by noting that “parents may want to help the next generation extricate itself from debt. Leading by example might be a more valuable gift.”
Wise advice.
It’s not an easy decision to implement. There are situations, like medical emergencies or short term downturns, where families don’t have another alternative.
I’m also not talking about children with severe illnesses or who are unable to work. I wouldn’t throw my sick child out on the street and neither would you.
I’m talking about the child who has a car, an iPhone and running-around money but doesn’t chip in for rent or groceries.
You are not doing your children any favors by not allowing them to grow up.
Roger Ailes did an interview for CSPAN a few years ago. He said when he turned 18, his father asked him where he planned to live.
Ailes was puzzled, but his dad said, “I can get you a job at the factory, (where his dad worked) but you can’t live here.” Ailes decided to go to college at Ohio University and got into broadcasting. He went on to create Fox News, CNBC and play major roles in some presidential campaigns.
Love him or hate him, Ailes is one of the most influential people in American media. His father forced him to grow up and make his mark.
I had a similar moment on my 18th birthday. My father took me outside and said, “You are going to get what I got on my 18th birthday — the whole wide world to make your living in.” (Dad had to quit school and go to work at age 15.)
Dad pointed to his car. He said, “You see that Cadillac? That is MY Cadillac, not OUR Cadillac. Make some money and buy your own.”
Twenty years later, I did.
It wasn’t “tough love.” It was making me realize that I was an adult and had adult responsibilities.
I’m OK with parents helping children through college (in four years, not forty), but after that they are on their own.
People in my father’s generation were drafted and sent off to war. There are 18-year-olds today who are fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq.
I saw a Frontline story about Afghanistan where the soldiers are sleeping on the ground without mattresses. I suspect those soldiers don’t have much sympathy for a 30-year-old who is still living with mommy and daddy.
I work with people who receive “big money” from lotteries, inheritances and injury settlements. All of them have the same problem that retirees have. Once they lose all their money, they have very little ability to make it back.
Like retirees, their financial downfall often comes from family and friends who want to “borrow” money from them.
Which gets us back to the adult in your house who still acts like a child. I can go on for hours about how making life too soft for him or her is bad. I can go on about how eating away your savings will leave you in a situation where death is your only way out of the mess. I can go on for hours about how giving adult children money is not actually love. It is enabling bad behavior, like giving heroin to an addict.
Instead, I give you three words to remember: Rumeal Robinson’s mother.
Don’t end up like her.
Helen Ford adopted Robinson at age 10 after his biological mother abandoned him. She and her husband raised him, helped Rumeal become part of a national championship basketball team at the University of Michigan and a player in the National Basketball Association, making millions of dollars.
Rumeal blew through his money, spending it on strippers, nightlife and high living. He never gave anything to the people who raised him. After his career ended, he got his mother to agree to let him take a mortgage on her house. Later, it was foreclosed on.
She used the house as a center for foster children. Now she lives in a two room apartment.
Rumeal’s mother had good intentions. She wanted to help her son.
Parents are often the last to see that their child is a piece of human garbage. They are the easiest of prey.
I’m seeing a lot of elderly people lose their houses, savings and often their lives (financial pressure is a key trigger for suicide) because children “borrowed” money and never paid it back.
It’s time to cut them off.
The kids will pout and cry. They will try to make you feel guilty. Immature people do that.
Show them that you are a real, loving parent and not a patsy.
Just say “No.” Your own survival is at stake.
If you want some reassurance, I would ask you to call Rumeal Robinson’s mother, but I assume her phone has been cut off.
The stone after it is thrown
The word after it is said
The occasion after the loss
The time after it’s gone
Meditate on this today. It’s short but powerful. What does it all mean? Simply, it means we must weigh the action before the deed. We must have vision beyond the moment. We must anticipate the reaction of our action. We must act wisely. We must act kindly. We must act with love.
The stone after it’s thrown – have your facts together. Jesus said, to the mob that was ready to stone the woman caught in adultery, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. In that story everyone walked away and no one threw the stone. Think carefully before you judge a matter.
The word after it’s said – Words leave an imprint so you must use them carefully. Once they are said they can’t be unsaid. The bible says life and death are in the power of the tongue. You can revive a thing or kill it by your words. The bible also says to let our words be few. Why? Because words need to be carefully considered.
The occasion after the loss – Don’t put off doing what you know you are supposed to do. We all get so busy in life but once the moment is gone it can never be recovered. There is a season for everything the bible says. Don’t live with regret.
The time after it’s gone – Timing is everything. There are moments in time that will never come around again. In battles there are strategic times of attack and retreat. The bible says God chooses the time. Don’t miss that appointed time of favor for your life. Don’t miss the opportunity. Don’t die leaving things undone.
I couldn’t pass this up. I just read it and it was RIGHT ON! So enjoy two posts today!
When you are awakened by the sound of an alarm clock instead of gunfire…
When you view your city’s skyline, undamaged by the wages of war…
When your children are not sold, raped, or killed in the name of religion…
When no one knocks upon your door in the middle of the night, accusing you of treason…
When you never witness a public execution in a school sports field…
When you walk into a polling place, and take part in choosing who will lead your country…
When you realize someone else stands guard, fights, and misses their family and homeland so that you don’t have to…
Thank a veteran.
If you were to die today what would the world miss?
I know it sounds like like a bleak question but I ask because many of us don’t know our worth and I want you to think about it, just as I am thinking about mine.
Don’t give answers like my family would miss me, my dog wouldn’t get fed. I want you to search your heart. Are you called to more than what you are doing.? What voids are you filling on earth? What are you doing here and why?
TLC4Women are women with a heart for service. They help paint over graffiti. They lead children in Sunday School classes. They mentor young Christian women, and non-Christian women alike. They get calls from others in the community for help, prayer and advice. I am so very proud to serve these women. Recently, I was asked to lead a prayer vigil at a church 30 minutes away. A dozen of them went to support me and to help the women at this church. I know of many women’s groups and ours is unique. I love these women more than anyone knows.
For Pastor’s appreciation they got me a gift that was extravagant! I have to show it to you!
It is beautiful but more than the gift was this poem that was beautifully written by a woman who I am mentoring as a leader in TLC. It blessed me and I wish I had words to express what it meant to me. Some things are beyond words! The poem reads:
TRANSFORMING LIFE CENTER
Pastor Susan, Pastor Susan where do I begin?
I am going to tell the story how ladies hearts began to mend.
In 2006 God put a women’s bible study in your heart
Which is how TLC got its start.
We came together on Moday nights to learn about Him
We came hiding our wounded heart and tried to look proper and prim.
As we began to open up and trust each other more,
God dealt with some past hurts He got right down to the core.
Captivating was our first bible study that helped us climb out of our cocoon
We started the healing process and mighty women of God we would be soon
Other bible studies such as: Kiss The Girls And Made Them Cry, Deal With It, King David
The Patriarchs just to name a few, Bad Girls of The Bible were very important who had a clue?
Soon our open wounds were healing nothing left but a scar,
With lots of prayer, encouragement and the Lord you helped get us this far.
So thany you from a bunch of butterflies who just wanted to say:
We love and appreciate you on this special day.
Love The Women Of TLC
My smudgy fingerprint messed this picture up! Sorry!
Man! Can you see why I am blessed? I have a great group of women around me who wanted so desperately to be used by God! All they needed was a nudge, well in some cases, I had to tie their ankles to a bungee cord and push them off the cliff but they soared!! Yes, Lord I give you glory because they soared! I am overwhelmed with joy and appreciation to the Lord for these women. They are the new generation of women who love and follow Jesus. I share this with you today not to brag about us and how far we’ve come but I share this with you to say Look At God!
Look At God! He loves you no matter where you are in life. He loves you even the deepest part of you, the part that shames you, the part that makes you feel guilty because you think if someone found out, you’d be thought of in a bad way. He formed you before the foundation of the earth. He counted the hair on your head. He determines your future not based on your past but based on your destiny in Him! His mercy knows no bounds. When God forgives he forgets. He says your sins are as far as the East is to the West. So what have you got to lose? Trust him! Love Him! Believe in Him! Watch Him transform your life! I’ve seen His work first hand and I praise Him for it!
Pastor Susan 