Category: My Life

In Someone’s Shoes….

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showyourhope.com

Monday morning not long after my shower and rush to get on the road to get home from a business trip, I received a text that frustrated me. Someone was trying to take advantage of a kindness I had extended and I began to complain to my husband. Calm man that he is, he said, “Don’t let it ruin it your day. People are people.” “What?!!”, I replied, “It already has ruined my day, how does someone do this? Really? Come on!” I stomped around texting replies and working remotely.

We checked out of our room and headed for valet to wait for our vehicle. A man was looking at us as we handed the valet our ticket and waited for our vehicle. The man turned to face us several times. I was texting as the day was getting started at the office and there were many details to handle between the store and the office. Monday’s are hectic to say the least. Finally, the man stuck up a conversation. He said, “Good Morning! Where are you from?” My husband said casually, “By Fresno.” The man said, “Oh me too!” My husband then said, “Are you here on vacation?” And what unfolded was a God thing.

The man said his wife had terminal cancer. Her doctors had done all that they could do. She had three to six months left to live and they had used up a month of that. They were in town to see a doctor who was going to administer an experimental drug on her. It would not save her life but it may be save the lives of others.

I felt such compassion. I asked the man if the drugs would prolong her life? He replied no, in fact they may kill her, but he repeated, they may save someone else. Wow! What do you say about that kind of compassion? What do you say about that kind of love? All that was left to say was what I said, “We’re Christians, can we pray with you?” He extended his hand out and said, “Please do”. I grabbed his hand fiercely and prayed for mercy and for strength for he and his wife. What else to say? In that moment his car pulled up. I asked him his name as he walked toward his vehicle so I could continue to pray for him.

His wife came through the doors of the hotel shortly after. She was frail and oh so sickly looking and walking so slowly. I smiled at her from where I stood. What a hero she is. Instead of going home to quietly die and make the most of her days left on earth, she was going to donate her body to science while still alive, to see if maybe someone could be spared her pain.

I don’t know why God chose to bless me with this lesson. All I can tell you is that my day wasn’t ruined. My day, despite its trial, was blessed beyond measure. I was not watching my spouse die. I was not dying. I was merely dealing with an annoyance. Funny how minutes ago it was so important. I guess until you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes your bad looks worse than it is.

So whatever you’re going through, think about this couple, then say a prayer for them. I don’t want to post their names in this blog out of respect for them but I know that God knows who you’re praying for. Then, with what’s left, say a prayer of gratitude and be content. It could be a great deal worse.

Worshipers United

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We had the privilege of coming together with a few of our favorite friends to have a night of worship. I was excited to worship with these fellow believers but I had no idea what God had in store for all of us.

Our church band opened. They started a high energy set and as always were a blessing.

Cruz Berumen-Flores
Cruz Flores

Steve Valencia
Steve Valencia Jr.
our fearless leader my husband
Our fearless leader, my husband, Doug Young

Then Jason Calderon, who leads worship at the Foursquare Church, Day3, down the street did an amazingly beautiful acoustic set.

Jason CalderonJason Calderon

After that, Aslan a band led by Rob Cox, began to play. The prophetic gift began and God showed up mightily and restoration and saturation continued. Wow!

AslanJulie Cox

Just like this the night would have been amazing. Whole, complete, and nothing missing. Until I noticed…..

That's our kid!
That’s our kid!

In each set, were the son’s of the pastors who had given their lives to spread the message of Jesus in this city. The second generation was now rising up! I thank you Lord for the privilege of being a part of this amazing night!

Will The Real Parents Please Stand Up

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I have noticed a phenomenon that is happening in our society that I’d like to explore with you over the next few posts. I notice that we excuse our children’s behavior all the time for whatever reason. Some of our youth are on Facebook and we’re friends, so I read the news feed some of the posts were way out of line. Now, keep in mind, I am not a prude in any way, shape, or form, but some stuff was just not what I would want to have my kids writing on a public forum. I spoke to the youth and their parents. Their parents quickly went on the defense. Here are some of the responses:

Aren’t these pages a form of their private expression? Uh, NO! The Internet is so wide open that privacy and Internet are not words that even go together.

Aren’t these pages just for kids? Well, if they are, then why do I have access? Have you read the papers or turned on a TV in the last century? There are predators out there.

He didn’t do it; it was a friend of his who wrote it. So when it was discovered why wasn’t it removed?

There is a lot of pressure out there and she just wants to fit in. So in her circles of influence fitting in means what exactly?

Pastor Susan you are funny of course not but you know! No, I really don’t.

Not one, not one single parent, reacted in shock or surprise and went to change things for their child. This child’s reputation is harmed and the results in a small town are devastating.  I read recently that Facebook is checked in consideration of college admission. So a post can be damaging on so many levels.

I am not just picking on anyone either. These parents are just a reflection of the rest of our society. Parents just either don’t know what to do or don’t want to be bothered. I think the greatest failure in America is that we decided we were our children’s friends. The problem with that thought process is that we aren’t. Or what I should say is, that we weren’t designed to be. We were called to be parents.

1 Corinthians 4:15 There are a lot of people around who can’t wait to tell you what you’ve done wrong, but there aren’t many fathers willing to take the time and effort to help you grow up. It was as Jesus helped me proclaim God’s Message to you that I became your father.

You know what? They won’t find their own way through life. You’ve got to lead them in the way you’d like for them to go if you want them to be successful. Children have lots of friends but only one set of parents.

I’m A Big Faker!

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So I went to the doctor today because I wasn’t 100% yet. I had caught a cold last week. I felt better but not great. Then I had a scare where I had chills so bad in the middle of the night that my teeth were chattering and my whole body was tense. Lulu laid her body across me and was licking my face.

That made me scared because they say that dogs and cats know when something serious is going on so I thought okay, if I have some terminal illness I better get to the doctor. So I went in and told him what was up. He was quiet as he checked my ears, my throat and put the stethoscope on to listen to me breathe. Then he sat down and I told him about Lu. He’s a big dog fan too so he smiled and said dogs knew if you were sick.

With a serious look he said, “You’re a big faker.” I said seriously, “You really think I’m faking? I’m not feeling like I’m dying but I don’t feel well.” He said, “No, you’re faking being well.” Turns out I was one sick puppy. Figures. So some antibiotics, some steroids and a couple of inhalers and I’ll back to normal. At least, I am not dying and Lulu the wonder dog is the hero of the story! You go girl!

How often do you put yourself on the back burner? Not just with physical symptoms, but do you really get real about what is going on in your life? Don’t just simply wait until an emergency happens, react when the symptoms are small enough to handle. Take regular assessments of your life. Are you hanging on for dear life, or have you balanced your time equally between priorities and being still? You have got to be your own priority. Stop being a faker pretending everything is fine!

The Woman Who Is To Be My Daughter-In-Law

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She may not know this, but I have been praying for her for years now.

She would have be patient as my son has a dominant Phlegmatic temperament. She’d have to be consistent and not one to change her mind often, and she’d have to be confident as Phlegmatics tend to be passive aggressive at times and this would be something to overcome.

I prayed that she would love the Lord as much as my son did. He has been called to ministry and he loves Jesus with his whole being. He loves seeing people come to Christ and he is active and involved in his church. I prayed for a good help meet.

I prayed she would be faithful. This legacy of divorce that hounds our family needs to end. I drew a line in the sand once I got saved and asked the Lord to change the path for our family to the thousandth generation.

I prayed she would be kind. Of course a mother prays for that quality in her children’s mates, as they will lead her grandchildren, and I want them led well.

I prayed she would be educated. My son loves politics, and books, and news, and sports. She’ll have to be well-rounded and able to hold her own convictions during conversations that often turn into deep discussions.

I prayed that love would overshadow the trials that come naturally when two dwell together. I prayed love would be enough, even when it wasn’t. I pray even now, that they both remember the love they have for one another always.

I prayed she loved video games a little less than he does.

I prayed she would want children and want to raise them, not hand them over to daycare.

I prayed she’d be a good fit for our family and be family oriented. Not one who wants to set the family apart but one that wants to be a part of ours.

I prayed she was sensible and not be prone to unreasonable arguments and drama. I prayed she wouldn’t come on the scene too soon, so that he would recognize her and his need for her.

I prayed she’d be practical and they would be able to work as a team towards common goals.

I prayed she’d have her own interests and friends, I didn’t want them to have conflicts in this area and I didn’t want either of them stuck at home while the other was out and about.

I prayed she was respectful and had a great sense of humor. I prayed she would laugh at the contradictions of who my son is. His quirky habits and sense of humor.

I prayed she’d overlook his faults and his mother. Maybe that should have been at the top of my list.

In less than two months, my son will marry his bride. My heart is filled with the goodness of God. He has given me my heart’s desire and more. Frances is beautiful, brilliant, and loved by us. She hasn’t had a bit of bridezilla attitude and she seems genuinely happy to be with my son. That’s really all I could ask for. Now that the wedding is at hand, I will begin praying for their marriage all the while praising the Lord for his mercy and grace on my life! We are a blessed family.

Modification

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downwithtyranny

It was back in September when I came home one night and there was no parking on our street. The new neighbors were having a party. Cars on the lawn and everywhere and the front yard full of drinking, cussing people. This, after a summer of each night of a loud porch party. One evening as I was checking the mail the conversation was about which bong was the best. They are nice people, but we always had a quiet tree-lined street. Now that the housing market had taken a deep plunge in our area, we had investors buying rental properties and our neighborhood isn’t what it used to be. Coupled with a subsidized apartment building that had just been built less than a half-mile away and the increase of homeless traffic on the rail trail that runs the exterior path of our housing development and the neighborhood had changed drastically. My husband came home one night to find a man in a ski mask walking the neighborhood. Two of my neighbors were moving, one right next door, who would my new neighbors be?

I knew our home had lost value but I just kind of buried my head in the sand about it. Then I talked to an accountant that said my home had lost so much value that it would take about 30 years for me to recover my investment. Couple that with a friend who asked an innocent question, “At what point do you cut your losses?” We realized it was time to make decisions. I called the bank about a modification on the loan because at this point I can buy my exact floor plan for $90k less than what I owe. The bank said if we were current on the loan, a modification was not possible. So we missed a payment and asked for a modification. They said we didn’t qualify for a modification but we qualified for a repayment plan. It seems you have to miss two payments to be considered for a modification. So we missed a second one.

They asked us to turn in our financials, which we did. Only here is where it gets confusing or so I thought. My loan is with Wells Fargo Bank. They require that a home preservation specialist signs off on your docs to begin the process of a modification request. Only no one will sign off on my docs. They agree that I have turned them in, they agree that Wells Fargo has them, only they say that I need to get “serious” about my request and get someone to sign off. Besides calling and leaving messages, putting everything in writing and calling HUD how am I not being serious? Almost two weeks have passed since they promised a sign off on my docs.

In the meantime, they send me letters that states, “We are sorry we have not come to terms.” Here’s the kicker. If we start making our payments, then we no longer qualify for a modification request. I am frustrated and confused.

Then it dawned on me! We, the taxpayers, have already paid for my house. We did so with a bailout. They don’t care if I foreclose because they’ve already been paid. They sell the house to an investor and move on making money from what I paid, making money from the bailout, and making money from the investor. I knew the American public had been scammed but I didn’t realize to the extent.

The Art of Conversation

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Ephesians 4:29 Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift. ~ The Message

I am a people watcher. One particular day Doug and I had decided to get Indian Food at a line-out-the-door-hole-in-the-wall, that has some good grub. We had a good 20 minute or more wait, so I watched the couple in front of us. She kept trying to talk to him, he kept reading his phone and answering in one or two words. Technology etiquette blog on the way. There were two girls from work discussing work it seemed, there were people quietly walking through the line. As we moved closer to the front, I began to look for a table. There were three women and two men, laughing hysterically and enjoying their lunch. What fun to have lunch with friends, I thought! One woman was a loud-mouth and chewed with her mouth open. Another etiquette blog. I watched her in what seemed like slow motion poking her fork into her curry chicken and then chewing with her mouth open as she talked to everyone. I wondered how much food was being sprayed into the others plates. She chews like a cow, I thought to myself.

We ordered and found a table to sit down at. As we waited patiently for our food to arrive, I noticed that many of the couples there were reading their phones and not interacting. Ourselves included. Okay, I thought, we really have to get back to the basics. Where’s the conversation here? I mean this has the potential of being a really good date for the two of us.

Ohoh! Landmine at the table with the three women and two men. Loudmouth girl says loudly, “That stupid f*^@&*# b%#@%. I asked her if something was up between us and she said no.” So the women begin to dish on whoever they were talking about. I quit looking at them because they were quite engrossed in their conversation. One of the men sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. The other man put his hand to his mouth. They looked uncomfortable. They looked away. They looked down at their food. Then the one man, with his hand to his mouth, engaged the other man in a conversation of some sort, and they both even positioned themselves and moved their seats slightly apart from the women. Now instead of five people talking at a table, there were two sets of conversations going. Displeasing conversation had broken up the camaraderie.

I looked around the room and realized we were unaware of each other, even when we’d opted to dine together. People were busy on their cell phones, others were merely eating, still others were having separate conversations unaware that others were uncomfortable. I looked over at the couple who had been in front of us in the line. She was sitting quietly annoyed and he was still on his phone. We were still on our phones, as Doug began to tell me about what he’d learned about beer on the History Channel. I crinkled my nose and said, “Beer is gross.”

It begs the question are we engaging each other in real conversations? Conversations that matter? The gossip at table of five separated out lunch buddies, the cell phones separated out many. Wait! I look over in the corner of the room. There are three old guys with long hair. Hippee-types from another time. They were eating Tandoori salads, leaning back in their chairs, in friendly discussion. No phones, no women! I couldn’t hear what they were saying. Maybe their free love talks of days gone by, have given way to political discussions about Wall Street? I don’t know, but it made me wonder if we’ve lost the art of conversation?

The Call Of Love

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” According to your faith let it be to you.” ~Matthew  9:29

It’s been a stressful week. We’re moving the RMA store to a bigger location. You may not understand what I mean. I mean a 3X bigger location. Every muscle in my body aches, my back hurts, 12-14 hour days, and yet there is an excitement I can’t contain as my artistic skills are put to the test in the decorating department. Everyone is working so hard.

We have two rescue cats in the store. I went to the local shelter to rescue an adult cat when we found a mouse in the store. I’m scared of mice and not ashamed to admit it. When I got to the shelter, there was only one adult cat. Of course there was a catch because there always is in my life. The adult cat came with a kitten attached, literally! So, Fiona, affectionately known as Mama Kitty, and Anya came to live at the RMA store.

They have lived with us for almost two years now and knowing cats hate change, I had them moved last. They came to the new location yesterday. Mama Kitty meowed some, but Mama Kitty knows what’s up. She looked around, milked some treats out of us, and realized any place is better than the shelter, so she went exploring. When she’d get scared she’d come to me and I’d lift her up and snuggle.

Anya, on the other hand, was freaked out with a capital F. She cried out, she ran from every hand including mine. I put her in a room with her food and litter and thought a little quiet would do her good. Nope an hour later, I could not find her. At first, I thought she was hiding. Then I thought maybe she had made a run for it as the door had been left open. I began to walk around the building paying special attention the bushes. My poor Anya had never been outside. She’s a store cat, it’s all she knows. She has never been away from her mom, except for the time she was spayed.

My friend Vikki said, “I hope she turns up or you won’t be able to relax at all.” She knows me. I could not find Anya. I had to go to the office to wait for the payroll and process it. Where could she be? I left the store at 4 p.m. and returned at 7:30 p.m. Where was Anya? I can’t let her sleep outside. I can’t lose her. I am responsible for her.

“Father, I need your help. I can’t find Anya. She’s scared. It’s not her fault we’re moving. I know you see all and you know where she is. Give me your vision in this moment and help me find her. I know you know where she’s at and I know you know my heart towards her. You care about the birds so I know you care about Anya. Help me Lord, direct me, show me where she is. I trust you. I have faith in you. I know you’ll show me. In the mighty name of Jesus I pray. Amen.”

I drove around the back of the building in the dark with my brights on. “Show me where she is Lord.” Dogs were barking furiously in the residential area behind the shopping center. “Lord, protect her.” I parked the car and walked into the building. It was dark and the only light was from the parking lot. I was met by Mama Kitty. “Meow, meow, meow!” She’s weaving in and out of my legs with urgency. I said, “I know sweety. Where’s the baby kitty? Where’s Anya? Help me find her sweet girl.” “Meow, meow!” She moves with urgency as she seems to be saying, “Come with me.”

I follow her and she leads me straight to a muffled cry. “meow, meow”, they are both crying now. “Anya, I hear you baby girl, where are you?” “meow, meow”, her response is so muffled. I move a dresser and there she is. I snatch her up as she shivers. “Thank you Jesus!” “It’s okay baby girl. It’s okay.”

Lord, that you leave the 99 to take me by the hand to show me the desire of my heart. That you would use a cat as your call of love, to lead me to the spot. That you would care about me in the midst of famine, wars, heartache, and trouble.

I watched Anya as she would rub on her mother and rub on me, hair standing up on her back, scared but safe. I am reminded that this is what kingdom life is. “Where are we going Lord?” “Just follow me and have faith.” “I don’t know what is required of me in this journey I’m scared.” “Just trust and follow.”

The Sacrifice

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In a mad rush to finish my shopping this year I kept getting this feeling I was missing something. I didn’t have the same zeal to buy things this year. I kept stalling. Usually I shop all year through. Gathering gifts I know will be thoughtful. This year I didn’t plan, I didn’t take the time. Then I read this story and my heart resonated with its words.

As I was being asked what I wanted for Christmas I kept saying sincerely, “You know what? I am good. I don’t really need or want anything this year.” The statement was met with stares and protests. This year has been about simplifying. I was getting rid of stuff, not adding. I was donating, not dragging things home.

I pray you touched by this blog as much as I was! Click Here to read.