1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.
This scripture was part of our marriage class homework. I read it thoughtfully. Are there any areas of my marriage in which I don’t feel safe bringing up a topic?
You see, the word perfect here doesn’t mean perfect, it actually means mature. Mature love casts out fear. Since we’re works in progress there may be areas of our marriage in which we are not yet perfected. In my marriage I discovered that there isn’t a topic I’m afraid to bring up. BUT there are topics I know will bring about a discussion and raise the heat level.
I love how these truths are revealed with a minuscule of honest thought process. So what about you? Are there areas in your life where there is fear? If so, don’t wait for someone else to deal with it. You need to do the work to deal with it. Perfect the love in your life!
Pastor Susan 
I think the “heat level” you mentioned comes from the value we place on our own understanding of the subject. It’s becoming more and more of a strange thing to me to see how much of the fights we as humans instigate are over interpretation of one subject or another. What’s so tragic is often times both sides have it wrong anyway! But that doesn’t matter once the division or killing starts.
I would say the most important thing about a relationship is to understand the differences as just that–differences. Not a threat, not a devaluing of my opinions or the other person’s but simply an outlook. Once I have that perspective peace can reign in me whether the other person allows for this or not. On the other hand, that pov can influence the outcome of the discussion quite a bit.
I believe this attitude conforms to the love of Jesus.