God’s love for me is not dependent on any sort of act I do. It isn’t about how much prayer time I have, it’s not about how much I serve him. He just loves me because we are a part of each other. I could be on my best behavior or my worst and he still loves me.

That is not to say that I don’t have to work at doing my part. No, in fact, I work at doing my part not because I have to but because I WANT to. That is a big difference. I pray because I want to talk to him. I obey because I want to please him. He doesn’t take his love away whether I do it or not.

I don’t do laundry for my husband because he expects it or because I win his love by doing it. I already have his love. I do the laundry out of a want in me to do nice things for him. In other words, it’s not a performance. I do it because I want to. I want to go see movies he likes. I want to snuggle up to him while I read my book and he watches the military channel. I want to take time out of my day to call him on the phone just to say hi. I don’t call him because I need to and not because I have to or he’ll be mad if I don’t. Simply I do things for him because I want him to feel appreciated. I want him to feel loved. I want him to feel like he is the luckiest man on earth.

So often as women we begin to see men as fixtures. They aren’t fixtures. We take them for granted and we nag them to death about all the things they fail to do and bypass the things they got right. We need to take a step back and realize they are aren’t slaves to be mistreated they are supposedly our love, our heart’s desire.

Conversely, you do not need to be perfection to earn a man’s love. If a man withholds his love from you because you are not performing to his expectations it’s time to move on because he is not a keeper and definitely not marriage material. If you have to jump through hoops like a trained dolphin then it’s time to go. Love can’t be bought and I see men who want to be with women because of what they can get her to do. I also the reverse, women whose boyfriends sit and stay as they are told. I am old enough, I guess, to still believe that a man should open a door for his woman and treat her to dinner without the expectation of sex afterwards but neither do I believe that a man has to buy us. I don’t think cleaning your boyfriends apartment is appropriate either if it means that’s how you have to keep him.

So, the key here is this. Do things for the people in your life because you love them and you want to do things that make their life easier. Don’t take them for granted, they are not fixtures. They are free people who can choose to leave when they’ve had enough of being ignored or taken for granted or bossed around. Remember you are not a trained monkey. If you are performing to get something it may not be worth it.