It is in the tests of life when we find out what we believe isn’t it? Oh, it’s easy to say what we would do given a certain situation when that situation hasn’t touched our lives but when it does, well, sometimes it becomes a different story. Sometimes we discover that the our belief system entered our head but it didn’t quite make it to our heart. Therein lies the dilemma.
Do we really believe God with certainty? I know that often I’m guilty of asking a half-hearted question. I ask for His opinion on a matter but what I really want is for his His answer to be my desire not His. Yes, I repent and obey but sometimes not with a heart that really gets the whole putting my life down to follow His desire.
So what is your theology at midnight? What do you do in your darkest times when you aren’t sure anymore what you believe and what you want? Do you take a deep breath and wait for an answer knowing without a doubt that one is coming? Do you decide that your desire is something God will understand? Does what you believe seem superficial or is it ingrained deeply in your heart?
Today’s blog has more questions than answers. It’s time to search your heart and see where you stand.
Pastor Susan 
In certain areas of my life, I can shout an unequivocal “I’m with Him!” out for all to hear. Yet in other areas there’s still a struggle to submit.
Since I don’t really need most people snooping around in my closets (and I doubt very much if they want me snooping in theirs), I decided to admit them to Jesus and ask Him to take care of them. There are couple I’m still not willing to open for various reasons, like
I’m not ready to change that behavior as yet
I can’t face it head on just now
In all our of our walks with Christ, we experience similar problems. Everyone has skeletons in the closet and the first order of business is to admit this to our Lord. He deals with them as we can handle it for it says clearly that He will not give us more than we can bear.
I believe seeing sin for what it is must be the first step in overcoming it. This doesn’t mean, as far as I can tell from Scripture, that these things just magically disappear from our spiritual horizons. Instead, God uses our deepest, darkest and most clingy sins to teach us the power of evil. Seeing ourselves fail time and again also illustrates our desperate need for His changing presence.
I don’t know about anyone else but submission is not one of my forte’s, self-control is my least favorite gift of the Spirit. Yet through my failures to live up to His goodness God has taught me self-control.
At midnight I know I am His but I also know it takes me a while to quiet my soul long enough to trust in His unfailing love and provision. In those certain situations where I know I might fail, I also realize His grace in a greater measure for I know I don’t deserve to be called His son.