to yourself is a talent that many women have.
I’ll start my diet tomorrow
I’ll do something for myself on Monday
I’ll learn to say No
I’ll learn to have boundaries
I won’t allow him to abuse me anymore
I will be a better wife
I will not nag
I will give up my right to be right
I will stop overspending
And on and on, you get the point! These self-talks are all so easy to say and oh, so hard to do. We’ve come to the point in our lives where lying to ourselves has become an art. For some, it’s the only creative talent they put any effort into. We don’t even consider it lying. We consider it procrastination or better yet justificaton. The way to transform your life though is just to be honest. It’s the hardest thing in the world to do but when you finally round that corner it is so freeing!
I recently spent some time with a friend who decided to take charge of her health. After years of health problems she just determined to get healthy this year. It was really cool to see her dedication. She read up on what she needed to change, and she determined that there were some major changes to be made but she was going for it! It motivated me. I love her enthusiasm and how she approached it and it made me want to support her in her change. We women know how to undergird one another’s cause. An undergird is a foundation, like the pillars that hold up the bridge. We were designed for that and so we excel at it. I find that I am glad to undergird causes I believe in. I am not so enthusiastic about those causes which, seem to be futile at best including my own.
In contrast to the friend who rounded the corner to a healthy life, I have another friend who has some really important decisions to make in her life. Her home life is not so great and some decisions need to be made there, her health is not so great and some decisions have to be made there, her world is unstable right now, her kids don’t have respect for her and yet she is scared to move in one direction or another, so she puts off doing anything except complaining, that’s the only constant in her life. So instead she develops the art of lying to herself about her choices and continues moving sideways never making headway. It’s hard to undergird this, but it’s in our nature to nurture. Fill in the blanks on your life and see if there are areas that have been overtaken by the art of lying. How good have you become at the art of lying? Has that become your creative ability? If so, how is working for you?