Stability

18221590_10213150386576645_2792329828773629369_n

A grandfather is someone with silver in his hair and gold in his heart. ~Author Unknown

My first grandson arrived on the scene a week early to expectant arms and smiling faces. We eagerly drove up to wait for his birth and then stayed a few days to make sure mom and dad got some sleep and a routine going while we cooked, took shifts, and loved us some Cameron baby. Cameron is definitely a game changer for us.

Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild. —Welsh Proverb

As I looked at him and declared blessing over him and watched my husband begin to prophesy over him I asked the Lord, “What is the answer for the question I am searching for?” The word stability came immediately to mind.

18342444_1802317116448740_2808821908470270334_n

One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. —Joy Hargrove

For us, we need to be the steady hand for both he and his parents. The rock on which the three of them can land when needed. If there are any unresolved parenting issues or stability issues within us they need to be resolved now before we hit the road on this new adventure. We aren’t learning as we go, we better have some meat in our storehouse if you will, on which to draw from when needed. We can’t be still trying to figure it out anymore. This family needs an established home as they establish their new normal even if they have been married for five years now, it’s all new now.

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just you all day and now the day was complete. —Marcy DeMaree

There needs to be vision. What does stability look like for a grandparent? It means I better know my role isn’t as a parent to him. He has two very capable and loving parents and to take that away from them in any form would be to leave them feeling less than adequate something we don’t want to do. No, a grandparent’s arms need to be Switzerland. Neutral, loving, and protective of its boundaries. It’s not an us vs parents relationship instead it’s a us and parent relationship.

18300817_10213150380416491_4999596004841806090_n

It’s amazing how grandparents seem so young once you become one. —Author Unknown

My husband bought him his first fishing pole. Even though it will be years before we use it, it spoke to lessons that will be taught, conversations that will be had, examples that will be set, and patience that will have to be learned at the hands of a sage no longer in a hurry. Yes, Cameron will find that he has allies and strong support here in the kingdom of Nana and Papa but his kingdom will be established in the home of his parents.

To a small child, the perfect granddad is unafraid of big dogs and fierce storms but absolutely terrified of the word “boo.” ~Robert Brault

Everyone tells you that the love you feel for a grandchild supersedes all other love. You don’t know it until you know it. I thought when I looked at my newborns and held them in my arms that love was revealed and understood fully. The world came into focus and life had profound meaning.  Holding Cameron took love to another level. There wasn’t that nervousness that surrounds a mother with him. I didn’t question whether I could be a good mother, I already am. I didn’t question whether I could be a good grandmother, I already am. Simply put there was stability that comes with wisdom and knowledge.

What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. ~Rudy Giuliani

What I Wouldn’t Do

10150763_661736917267103_2902334664587778878_n

With just a few weeks to go before we become grandparents for the first time I have been quietly reflecting on what I know for sure. This picture is of my grandparents. My Nana Mickey and my Tata Francisco.

What I wouldn’t do to sit with my Nana today and just say, “It’s my turn! You always told me being a Nana was the best thing ever. How do I walk in your shoes? How do I love deeply like you did? How do I hold a child with hugs that covered them with such utter love that it invokes giggles and security? How do I sit bedside beside a child and rub their head and answer 10 million questions without losing patience? How do I be the Nana you were to me and how come you aren’t here for me to share this with you? You’d be thrilled to know it’s my turn. I want to scoop my grandchildren up in my arms and dance in the living room with them the way you did with us. I want to teach them to play cards, and hold secrets, and bake, and make tortillas, and love but mostly I want to tell you that in just a few weeks I get to feel what you feel and instead of putting on your perfume and ‘lipppy-stick’ and your heels and walking around with your purse, I get to actually be like you.”

I want to tell my grandpa that I learned his work ethic. That I learned English and went to school and made something of myself so that all the work and sacrifice he made for us paid off. I want to chuckle the way you did when we were crazy little kids. I want to buy cinnamon sticks and put more milk than coffee in a cup and say, “Don’t tell your mom”, as we secretly drink coffee and eat Mexican bread and spell words in Spanish or play double solitaire. I want to tell you that I learned to save money, and serve my husband, and be the lady you knew one day I would be.

What I wouldn’t do to tell them that my greatest adventure awaits and that they deposited heart-felt notes in my spirit. Their legacy is lasting and their love will live in abundance through what I was taught.

What I wouldn’t do to tell you this great news and what an impact you have made in my life. Somehow I think you knew the impact. Somehow I think you knew you were charging me with a responsibility, I was just too young to realize what you both were doing. I know now.