Ministry – Page 11 – Pastor Susan

Peace With Ourselves and God

May 27, 2013May 26, 2013 tlc4womenLeave a comment

2 Peter 1: 12For this reason I will not be negligent to remind you always of these things, though you know and are established in the present truth.

When my daughter was a baby I went to the priest of our church and asked to have her baptized. The priest sat across the desk from me and we had a heart to heart talk. He ended with, “Susan, go home and sprinkle some water on her head. The way you are living it will mean the same thing.” I wasn’t offended by him at all. I knew the rules of my faith and I knew I fell short. He explained how he didn’t believe in limbo and how making a vow is important and what the promise meant. As I think on him today, I pray God blesses him abundantly, he and all the other men and women of God who loved me enough to tell me the truth, and who loved their faith enough to not compromise it for numbers or popularity. I can visually see the scene in my head to this day and I see that woman speaking to that priest and she was dying, and he was offering her a chance a real life!

This past weekend I preached on one of those touchy subjects about knowing each other by the fruit we bear. It was a total God thing and I didn’t even blog this past week because I was studying for this message and trying to put it all together, in less than book form, and something more like what your rear end can handle in a service and still be effectively causing the process of thinking it through.

Can I be honest and say I do think about how people will take it? I have to reconcile the process of having peace without the acceptance of sin. Or rather, loving someone through a process rather than telling them all is well when it isn’t. You see, I appreciate the priest who spoke the truth to me. I count him as one of the seeds that was planted in me that caused me to change and become more aware of what I was doing and why. I believe still today that he cared more about my soul than he did of whether I liked him or not. That’s love.

Today I read the recent Gallup Poll that said 60% of Americans, of which 78% of those profess Christianity, say they do not think having a child out of wedlock is morally wrong. They still think having an extramarital affair is wrong but not having a child out of wedlock. As one who had a child out of wedlock, that would seem like good news but it wasn’t then and it isn’t now. Kids need a mom and a dad and they need those two people to get along and to function as a family.

To speak against this is to be thought of as hateful, judgmental, a hypocrite, and all the other terms thrown at Christians today. So I write today to settle your soul and mine. These ways of life created by God are there to save us from heartache. Whatever the world may say about you, boldness and love shall prevail.

Cry Out Help

May 3, 2013April 29, 2013 tlc4womenLeave a comment

This is part 3 of 3. To read part 2 Click Here

And we don’t understand a lot of things. But we learn that people are very disappointing, and that they break our hearts, and that very sweet people will be bullied, and that we will be called to survive unsurvivable losses, and that we will realize with enormous pain how much of our lives we’ve already wasted with obsessive work or pleasing people or dieting. We will see and read about deprivation and barbarity beyond our ability to understand, much less process. Side by side with all that, we will witness transformation, people finding out who they were born to be, before their parents pretzelized them into high achievers and addicts and charming, wired robots.

Lamott, Anne (2012-11-13). Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers (p. 24). Penguin Group US. Kindle Edition.

We proceeded on the road to file civil charges to add to the felony charges and the thief returned the money to get us to drop the filing of the civil charges. We agreed to this because after all the felony charges are what’s important. Some felt we should have gone to the legal system to ask them to drop the charges but a wise friend asked me an extremely important and very poignant question:

“So you’re thinking of dropping the charges so that what? He can go to his next job and steal from them? What will be your accountability to the next employer because you will be accountable, just as everyone who doesn’t hold him accountable to, at minimum, an apology will be held accountable when he does it again.”

To say this was powerful was NO JOKE. Do I want to be accountable for his next robbery? Without godly sorrow we continue on the path to destruction. Evil was allowed to live in the camp because we have a distorted view of what it means to be a Christian. Did I want to contribute or did I want to get off the ride? Yes I want off the ride, because it was nauseatingly painful to watch the ripping apart of friendships.

I went into a time of reclusivity and prayer and just as my faith demanded I cried for help. Just as God promised, he was quick to issue the balm to soothe the wounds, the strategy to combat evil, and the lesson so that it doesn’t happen again. Life Happens.

Wolves Come In

May 1, 2013April 29, 2013 tlc4women1 Comment

1Corinthians 7:10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation,and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. 11 See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern,what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.

This is part 2 of a 3 part series. To read part 1 Click Here.

The second thing that happened was a employee at work stole $1,000 from another employee. He used one of the devices where you can swipe a credit card on a mobile device. The employee whose card was stolen was notified by her bank that a debit sale had been made and deposited to this employees account. We fired the employee who stole the money and we filed a police report. The bank was refusing to refund the money because the parties knew each other, however was very cooperative with the police in the investigation.

The man who stole the money was a new convert to the church and a friend to the other employees. The employee who had her money stolen was hurt beyond belief. She had loaned the man money for gas and food in the past (he has a family), she had befriended his family, and she was being repaid with evil.

The other employees were also caught in the fire. They are friends with everyone and so they wanted to remain friends with both the thief and the one stolen from. Only the problem was that godly sorrow verse kept crying out to be heard. How do you move on when the person isn’t sorry? How do you sit at church with a wolf in sheep’s clothing or when the person’s family is railing at you and acting as if you are the bad guy for not dropping it? There was no remorse shown for the kindness and the trust shown.

I watched her pain, I felt it, I understood, and yet we have to let the legal system do its thing. We have to watch the blame shift to the the other employees for their possible compliance. Most importantly, I have to look at the leadership and ask was it that I had created an environment of unaccountability, by not running a tight ship, that had created the perfect environment for this to happen?

The wolf was allowed to come in and scatter the sheep. The small group that they all belonged to is frayed because we don’t understand the Word. Instead there stood two camps. One camp who saw no godly sorrow and one who saw that things happen and oh well we move on.

Life Happens

April 29, 2013April 27, 2013 tlc4women3 Comments

I am back from my self-imposed reclusiveness. I was pondering some things in my life, getting my heart right about matters and thinking things through. Thank God for the Holy Spirit who guides us in all truth and recognizes the heart conditions we find ourselves in. If, when, we submit to the thoughts and processes of this it is beyond amazing what can be cleared up in one’s life.

After a series of events late last year, I was crispy fried. I learned a lot through the process though and I think I love God more than ever because he allowed some refining to take place. The image of the chiseling of skin was a fresh reality and yet, just like my facials, the chemical peel burns but the skin underneath is untouched and soft to the touch.

So what happened? Well, some really good people did some really bonehead things, myself included, and some wolves in sheep’s clothing came and separated out the herd.

I was having employee/employer issues. In any other business environment what was happening would not have been tolerated even for a minute, but we’re a ministry, so you extend grace right? No, because subpar is still subpar, whether it’s for God or man. I was guilty of failing to lead.

Finally one day I snapped. Suddenly, I was no longer nice Pastor Susan, I was evil Pastor Susan. I seemingly had done things without warning and I was now viewed as stepping way out of bounds. Like with anything else consistency is the key and I was an inconsistent leader. It had now seemed to become personal. I learned a great huge lesson. Take care of every small, even minor detail before it becomes a big insurmountable obstacle and changes dynamics.That’s good leadership. To be honest, this wasn’t the first time. I once had an employee give me a card on a Monday for being the best boss ever and on Friday when I had to let her go, I had become a “terrorist”. So obviously, God had to pull my chain and teach me some things. Again.

It’s The Eve of His Birthday

December 2, 2012December 2, 2012 tlc4womenLeave a comment

It’s the eve of his birthday and he’s fast asleep, but this Pastor’s wife needs the Pastor to wake up and help her get the church decorated today.

“Baby, I need your help today.”

“Oh, but I was sleeping so good. I know, I know, I’m up.”

It’s the eve of his birthday and Child # 3 has her car in the shop.

“Dad can you give me a ride to work. I have to leave in 20 minutes.”

“20 minutes, okay.”

It’s the eve of his birthday, but since he’s going that way…

“Baby can you pick up donuts for the crew and stop at Starbucks for me?”

“Sure, the usual?”

“Yes please.”

It’s the eve of his birthday and we’re decorating the church. I guess everyone had plans. It’s us, then one family comes by to help, then Vikki comes by, and it looks like that’s it, so he’s stuck doing a little more than he counted on this morning. Late morning 5 more show up.

It’s the eve of his birthday and he slips away to get his head together for the morning, since Sunday service is tomorrow.

It’s the eve of his birthday and comes out of his office at almost 1 pm.

“I don’t feel good, my body aches and I feel a little nauseous. I feel like I need to eat something other than coffee and donuts.”

I had planned a dinner for his birthday tonight, and eating at this time will ruin it so let’s just go with it. He needs to eat.

It’s the eve of his birthday and he says, “So what are your plans for the rest of the day?”

“I have to start laundry and change the sheets. What about you?”

“I’d love nothing more than a nap, but I have to get back to the office.”

It’s the eve of his birthday and he comes home at 6:45 p.m. child # 3 in tow.

“Dad I need to take a load of stuff to my new place.”

“Oh! Can’t it wait until tomorrow? I really need to rest.”

“It’s the first night in my new place. I can call someone else to help me.”

“No, it’s okay, I’ll help.”

It’s the eve of his birthday and he comes home closer to 8 pm.

“I need a shower and a bed.”

It’s the eve of his birthday and a saint from the church calls.

“Pastor, my car broke down. Can you help me? I’m an hour away and can’t get home.”

“Let me get dressed and I’ll be right there.”

“Let me drive, you ride and rest”, I say.

He calls child # 3. “The temp is supposed to drop. Come home and pick up more blankets, just in case.”

It’s the eve of his birthday and his cell phone rings on the way to pick the stranded saint. It’s another saint. His dad is heading for heaven and he needs his pastor.

“I’m on my way to pick up a saint broken down out of town. I will get him, turn right around and be to you.”

It’s the eve of his birthday and we’re at the hospital cafeteria, waiting with the family.

“Happy Birthday Pastor”, everyone says to him just after midnight.

It’s his birthday and we roll out of the hospital at 1:15. He sees the car of another saint in the parking lot. “What are they doing here? Should I go back in and make sure everything is okay?”

It’s his birthday and we’re driving home.

“It’s amazing all we’ve been through together with this family. You know, I remember when the twins were born. They were so tiny, preemies. The doctor didn’t give them much hope. We prayed. Now they’re grown and graduating high school. You know, Toby glowed tonight. When I asked him if he was ready to go he said yes. Then we prayed together. I asked him if he had peace and he did. Susan, he looked peaceful. He’s ready.”

It’s his birthday and it’s 2 a.m. I’m baking cookies for the Kingdom Kidz snack tomorrow and he’s getting ready for bed. He’s not perfect, he’s had his fair share of life happenings but he loves what he does and he was called to do it.

So today, I want to wish you a Happy Birthday My Love. Looks like you’re finally getting that nap you’d wanted since yesterday. In just a few hours you’ll be behind the pulpit preaching your heart out with the message God has placed on your heart. You keep telling me that you have to be called to do this job, and you are. You really are.

The Blessed Life

October 12, 2012October 12, 2012 tlc4womenLeave a comment

In our kick-off study at TLC4Women we opened up our hearts and minds to the teaching of Pastor Robert Morris of Gateway Church in Dallas, Texas and his book The Blessed Life. What a time of generosity unfolded. I watched the class grasp the concept of opening up our heart to the things of God and the beautiful word, tithe. Each Monday night brought fresh revelation of what transpires when we were aware of the principle of giving in our lives. Each Monday night I heard testimony as the women began to give to God with new understanding of what their gifts entailed. I believe many churches in our city will be blessed by our lesson and many, many lives will be changed because of it.

While I’m sworn to secrecy on the conversations that go on in this class, I can tell you that it blessed me. Each Monday night I came home with a smile on my face and a grateful heart, but let me just tell you what blessed me the absolute most! When we talked about extravagant gifts! I was expecting the women to tell me about gifts, actual presents, material things, financial blessings, only they didn’t. They spoke to me about time spent with loved ones, about words spoken in love, about books that changed their lives, about family time, about restored marriages, about the extension of love to our community. So while the book dealt with your finances, the rewards and the promises fulfilled by God were enriched lives in every aspect. Sacrifices were given but the return was more than we could have ever imagined.

The overall consensus was that this book is a must read. I have to say, I thought I’d meet this study with resistance, since we come from different houses across the city, but you have to love the TLC women. They are hungry for knowledge and change and they are women who trust and love God with their whole entire beings! I love them all so much you can’t even begin to know.

Despite the Lie Part 2

October 4, 2012October 3, 2012 tlc4women2 Comments

Read Part 1 Here.

I know many young women who shack up and have babies outside of the confines of marriage, and since I was once them, I ask why and they say things like:

I’d like to be married but he doesn’t want to.

We’re happy and good just like this.

My parents got married and had kids and they still ended up divorced.

My parents got divorced when I was 11 and so nothing is for sure.

He doesn’t want to get married and I am cool with that.

That’s all great if they would not have kids being dragged through all of this, but it’s generally not the case.

Remember the bible verse from Part 1: The violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’.

So we shack up, we break up, we take those kids made in the first relationship to meet the new love, make some more kids, and everyone is supposed to be alright through all of this despite the lie. Then I saw it first hand, not from the perspective of the single mom, that I was, but rather the kids. I saw teenagers who looked normal, who were smiling, laughing, talking, shouting, running, skipping, jumping, and loving each other just moments before, teens who seemed to be carefree, raise their hands as they said the violent dismemberment of their family made them feel as if their lives were over.

It is then no wonder that living together looks so appealing. If all they know is that marriages are meant to be broken and all they cause is heartache then why would you want that? Only facts play out differently. The fact is that with some help, books and counseling, an attitude change, most marriages can be fixed. Of course we’d never advocate staying in an abusive situation, as that’s just crazy, but go back to the scripture that we read in the last post.

Malachi 2:13 And here’s a second offense: You fill the place of worship with your whining and sniveling because you don’t get what you want from God. 14 Do you know why? Simple. Because God was there as a witness when you spoke your marriage vows to your young bride, and now you’ve broken those vows, broken the faith-bond with your vowed companion, your covenant wife. 15 God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse. 16 “I hate divorce,” says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.” So watch yourselves. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cheat. ~The Message

It’s talking about adultery here. It’s not saying you broke those marriage vows because you refused to take the trash out, or you and I had a different vision for the future, in fact God is saying, and it’s consistent in the New Testament, that the only thing that breaks the marriage vows is adultery. Even then, when I saw the teens break down at the youth conference I wondered if we adults could look at those broken kids and maybe even fix that? Maybe despite the lie that it’s only sex and it means nothing because ‘baby, you wear my ring’, we couldn’t work harder at keeping it together and keeping our kids whole. Because all I see is a generation that’s about to be violently dismembered before they even had a chance.

Actually if there is anything good about the economy tanking it’s that some people are postponing divorce. Maybe one of those couples will read this and change their mind. One can only pray.

Despite the Lie

October 2, 2012October 2, 2012 tlc4women1 Comment

The frivolous attitude of shacking up is contradictory to the integrity of commitment therefore, the rate of divorce is higher than non-shack ups. ~ Dr. Laura

I love Dr. Laura Schlessinger because despite the cultural lies of what is normal, she stands up for the voice of right. While many criticize her and her stance on marriage and family I salute her. Perhaps because I am one of those bad girls who turned it around, I have more grace than others for women whom I admire for telling the truth. I see nothing wrong in Dr. Laura’s stance and I credit her with helping shape my morals and values for the last 22 years of my life that I’ve been listening to her radio program daily. It’s on even now in the background as I write this blog.

Why has marriage taken such a beating? I think it has to do with the fact that we throw it away so easily and embrace an inferior alternative. I found a piece of scripture that has been hounding me for weeks now.

Malachi 2:13 And here’s a second offense: You fill the place of worship with your whining and sniveling because you don’t get what you want from God. 14 Do you know why? Simple. Because God was there as a witness when you spoke your marriage vows to your young bride, and now you’ve broken those vows, broken the faith-bond with your vowed companion, your covenant wife. 15 God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse. 16 “I hate divorce,” says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.” So watch yourselves. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cheat. ~The Message

The violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage. It really is like that isn’t it? When we see it writing does it cause us a moment of pause? And when God says what he wants from marriage, “Children of God, that’s what”. What does that invoke in your thought process? I see people who are born into a moral character to do what is right despite the lie that everyone is going to be okay being raised outside of marriage. Living together outside of the marriage covenant takes all the boundaries away, leaving children vulnerable and believing that marriage doesn’t matter.

While at a youth convention this past week, the speaker was talking about defining moments in life. They asked the youth to raise their hand if when their parents divorced, they felt their lives were over. In other words, was this the defining moment of their future? In an instant hundreds of kids raised their hands. Bible: “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.”

Even as I am writing this a horrible pain stirs up within me and I tear up to have been a witness to this moment. What we adults took so insignificantly, profoundly defined these teen’s future. Remember the speaker asked for those kids who thought their lives were over when their parents announced their divorce. Can you imagine such a deep pain? The violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage. It wasn’t just about two people, it affected a family, a community and a nation. When you picture violent dismembering of flesh what comes to your mind? Does the National Geographic Channel and the lions biting into a zebra come to mind? Does Jeffrey Dahmer’s pieces of flesh in his fridge come to mind? Yes, it’s like this.

Stay with this thought until next time. I have so much more to say on this matter so check back.

Checking Relationships

September 10, 2012September 4, 2012 tlc4womenLeave a comment

How are your relationships? Not every relationship is God ordered. As much as we like to think it is. A daily dose of the wrong thing and pretty soon you’re just as unhealthy. I used ask our youth group this question:

If I am in a white dress and I kneel in the dirt, do I make the dirt white or the dress dirty?

Love everyone, be positive, be kind, but more importantly know your limits. Jesus met many people, healed many people, loved everyone but you see him make a distinction between those he drew near to follow him and those that were acquaintances.

In Luke 6:12 it says Jesus prayed all night about choosing the twelve disciples. Now, he chose 12 to come in close. Remember he still taught the rest of the people but with the guidance of his Father he chose 12 to pull in close. When was the last time you prayed all night about who your CLOSEST friends should be? My grandfather used to tell me,

“Tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are.”

Your surroundings influence you. And that is the cost. You can chose those who will help you to be a better person or those who will be a drag. The cost of unhealthy relationships are wrong influences, wrong directions, unhealthy connections, misdirected purpose, unfulfilled dreams, changed destiny, poor mindset. Check your relationships. Are they healthy? Are they on purpose? Are they moving you forward?

Teachable

September 8, 2012September 4, 2012 tlc4women1 Comment

Are you teachable? The key to building anything is to first build a solid foundation. Are you solidly committed to the word of God? Do you believe it all or do you take issues with some of it? Do you fight against the word? Have you received Jesus into your heart and do you let him work in your life?

Matthew 28:19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,

Part of our mandate is to be disciples and then to go and make disciples. What does that mean exactly? A disciple is a student. So what this verse is saying is that you are to be a student of Jesus and you going around teaching everyone what you know about the gospel of the Kingdom and making sure everyone is baptized including yourself.

What trips us up here is that we spend our time religiously arguing the points we don’t agree with. So to avoid the real issues of building solid foundation and to look smart and to feed our ego and puff out our chest we decide to argue or stop learning.

So when you say, “I’ve read the bible 5 times, I already know it”, yes you do know it, but remember that the bible is LIVING word. Now, ask yourself a really important question today ~ When I look in the mirror do I look like I did 10 years ago? If the answer is no, then why do you think the bible will look the same year after year just because you’ve read it?

Keep a teachable spirit. Read, grow, learn, there are things we still don’t know. My husband and I read a passage of scripture just the other night after Friday night biblestudy that we’d read a million times before and yet, it popped out to us as significant for the first time. It sparked discussion and it sparked interest and study.

What’s the cost of not having a teachable spirit? Getting stuck in your life, falling for a lie, never reaching your full potential, and the worst is getting a critical spirit. In the book, The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis, Wormwood, who is a Satan’s officer, tells the demons that if they can just keep the believer critical he won’t learn anything. Let him look around and critique the church, keep him critical and he’ll never grow and mature. He’ll spend his time always debating and despising and he will never really capture the gospel. What’s worse is he’ll duplicate his critical spirit. I want to be molded, even when I have squash every single ideal I think I may have right for the truth.