God knows me. The bible says God knows my innermost being. Think about that for a moment and let it sink in. There is nothing that is hidden from him. I am a clear picture to him.
Since that is a fact, when prayers go up to him about me from others, he knows how to discern the truth from the lie. Remember this; a lie can never stand against the truth. Because he knows me, his opinion of me doesn’t sway by words, they sway by action.
When looking for that man who is going to share your life make sure he knows who you are. This means that you can’t pretend you are someone you aren’t. This means you have to be authentic and not a woman who flips from opinion to opinion for the only way your man truly knows you is if you are balanced and authentic. Not synthetic in your attitude and appearance. This takes time. The two of you must get to know each other well! You can’t have a solid opinion about what you think you know. You gotta know you know. This means his friends can’t tell him who you are, it means his mom can’t tell him who you are, it means he has to find out for himself who you are. He has to know you so well that he knows your motivation for why you do what you do.
Take your time and build a relationship. Don’t rush, just take is slow and steady. I can pretend to be anyone for a season. But eventually the real me pops out. It’s in that moment of seeing the real you that the opinion is formed. No one can influence God’s opinion of me because he knows why I do what I do. The man in your life should also know, without doubt, who you are.
Synthetic: not natural or genuine; artificial or contrived:
We’ve all seen the American Idol try-outs and all of the other reality shows like America’s Got Talent, So You Think You Can Dance etc… We’ve seen some great talent and we’ve some people that leave you wondering, “What were they thinking?”
The ones that crack me up are the ones where their parents yell at the judges for being idiots because they didn’t acknowledge their child’s talent. I know we all think our kids are wonderful. We all think our kids are the best looking and best at everything but it simply isn’t reality is it? There are talents your child has that mine never will. That has to be okay with me. My children can’t be great at everything. Giving them a false sense of who they are doesn’t help them either. We set them up to fail. We over-inflate their egos and then when real life hits they can’t cope.
A couple of years ago I watched a season of American Idol like someone who watches a train wreck. My heart went out to one contestant, Sanjaya, because he seemed like a nice kid but he didn’t sing anywhere on the same level as the others. He became a joke to the world that was very cruel to him berating his singing. Then there was the Internet site that was dedicated to voting for the worst singer and he kept winning. But it was synthetic because it could not be sustained. When he finally lost, it broke his heart. You could see it and your heart really went out to him. His 15 minutes of fame were over but it came with a cost to him personally.
It’s the same thing that we are seeing with young Hollywood today. Most of them have been pumped up synthetically that they can’t handle life. So they are drinking and driving and going to rehab and flipping out and it’s all because they see themselves in a pseudo reality. They think they can walk on water without help. It’s not just Hollywood it seems to be pervasive throughout society. Around the Sanjaya time frame there were the Barbie Bandits who robbed a bank and went on a shopping trip is a great example of a synthetic self image. One of their mothers said that they didn’t deserve to go to jail because they were good girls. Do good girls rob banks to have shopping money? What if the teller had been ill with a weak heart? What if there had been a shoot-out? There are so many scenarios that they didn’t care about or didn’t weigh, in either case it’s still deserves jail time.
Synthetic is not real. It has no substance that you can build on. So instead we pump up the plastic. But what happens to plastic when you turn up the heat? It melts and as it does it molds into different shapes getting smaller and smaller. It ends up nothing but a small piece of nothing it resembled in the first place.
In life you win some and you lose some and you get up either way and keep moving forward. There is nothing sadder than a person who lives out the rest of his life in his past glory trying to recapture that win again. Instead, God says we move from glory to glory. Sadder still is the person who is stuck in his loss and refuses to try again.
There is a real life with real pitfalls and real successes. We need to remember that even our kids have to follow rules because that is authentic. He understands that true winners are hard workers who have learned strategy and who play within the guidelines set before them. Synthetic winners are only winners when the environment is manipulated falsely and you are able to keep the temperature ambient. Eventually things in your arena heat up and the meltdown begins. Learn to be authentic. That is something that stands no matter the circumstance.
I want to wish every a Happy Thanksgiving! Today I am grateful for the these people:
Jesus- The God man made flesh who walked the earth setting the example. Go back and read about his compassion and his tireless work, it will really touch your heart. Jesus was a teacher who loved the synagogue and loved people. What an example for me to follow. He never saw appearance he only saw condition. I aspire to be that for my generation.
My Mom- If anyone ever believed in her children she does. My mom tends to be negative about most things and pretty opinionated, but one thing is for sure, she believes we are the greatest gift to this generation. Even when she’s disappointed in us, she will find something worth hanging onto. She thinks this blog is the smartest thing on the Internet, she thinks I am her best gift ever and she is my biggest cheerleader. Even when we are on total opposite sides of a issue she puts up with me. She is someone I can count on and I more often than not, take her SO for granted.
Anthony- My kids are my blessing from God. Anthony is pure love. He is such a good man. I see him now with his girlfriend and he speaks so well of her and how he looks after his sister and how he checks in with me, his mom! What a gift God gave me when he allowed me to be Ant’s mom.
Cassandra Allyse- Sassy, smart and outgoing she is so independent. I love who she is becoming. She is her mother’s daughter in a lot of ways. She works too much, she loves deep, she has her own opinions. We are at a place where there are things I can say and things that she doesn’t want to hear from me but nevertheless, we love each other, we frustrate each other, we misunderstand each other and then we need each other. She is a great daughter and she has been fun to raise.
Doug – When he smiles at me it’s all over. Doug is kind beyond anyone I’ve ever known. Doug sees everything that is right with people, an ability I will never have, ever no matter how long I live. Doug has the ability to forgive and forget and leave the past behind him on most things. He’s not perfect by any means but he’s pretty darn close.
Lauren- Technically Lauren is my stepdaughter but I don’t see her that way. She’s my kid. We didn’t always see eye to eye and sometimes we still don’t but I have great hope for her. With a year and a half of high school to go, she is having to step things up. I know she will do great things with her life. Behind the tough sarcastic exterior that she pretends to show, she’s pretty caring. Just don’t tell anyone.
Charles Anthony- the cactus of the bunch, he is my stepson. He is the one whom the Lord uses to refine me. ‘Nuff said.
Lulu- the wonder dog. Lu has a story that touches my heart. She came to me at a time when I really needed someone to take care of and love. She sleeps right next to me as I type this. She is with me when I speak to God, so she knows all of my cares and secrets and she doesn’t judge me for it. She just sighs, puts her chin on my knee and looks into my eyes. She is my lovey honey precious girl.
Oasis- my church. Not the building the people in it. We are a family and I’m so glad!
My friends- Some are old, some are new and all are loved. I especially love the ones with whom I can trust to tell me the truth. Everyone needs those people in their life and I am grateful for them.
My Country-I’m really glad to be American. If you’ve ever traveled, even a bit, you will find that you were born hitting a home run to be born and raised in this country.
Most days I feel like God’s favorite kid. I love how he loves me and blesses me daily. I am grateful for health, for love, for family. Life is good and I am thankful. Let’s live Thanks Living lives! Happy Thanksgiving!
Every single thing in our life is a morality decision. Whether you believe in God or not it’s all about morals. Recently in our part of the world eleven people came down with e-coli at two separate parties. Instantly the powers that be swooped in to investigate the matter. It was determined that in both cases the meat came from one source. So they shut down the meat market while they investigated and inspected.
How is this a moral matter? Well, employees were denied a wage for the time the market was shut down, the owner of the market was denied revenue, the local and federal government were denied taxes, not to mention the ranchers whose meat was not going to market. See, we decided that at least eleven and maybe more people’s health were at stake and that outweighed the needs of the market. Everything is a moral matter.
Everyday you decide if you are going to flip the guy off in traffic that just cut you off. You decide if you are going to tell that little white lie. You decide if your daughter is going to do something just because all the other kids are doing it. Everything is a moral decision. So what happens when your morality conflicts with God’s?
To live below that morality is to live inhumanely. I would guess that everyone reading this blog today would say that the CDC and the FDA did the right thing with the market. People are more important than money. Human life has to be the most important thing right? But is it?
Does human life outweigh other factors? Not always. The cigarette industry admitted to adding an additive to cigaretts to make them more addictive. Food companies add stuff to their product to get you eat more. Drug companies are continually being sued for their experimentation on people. On a more personal note we ignore people who make us uncomfortable. One of our women from TLC coordinates a group to go to our local nursing home. Today she told us about a woman whose daughter is a Christian but rarely goes to visit her mother. Her mother has two sets of clothes. If she soils them before laundry day, she is stuck. The nursing home has informed the daughter but she hasn’t been by with more clothes. The daughter’s morality obviously conflicts with God’s fifth commandment.
God’s rules weren’t put into place to restrict you and take away freedom. On the contrary, the rules were put into place to protect you and give you more freedom. When we fail to respect people, on any level, it hurts others. When basic manners are set aside it changes the whole face of a society. If history is an indication of anything then we see that once respect for others is gone so is the society as we know it.
When your morality conflicts with God’s there is always chaos. There is always disorder and yes there is always pain inflicted on people. Everything is a moral decision we were designed that way. Let’s not forget it in our day to day life.
Lulu the wonder dog sleeps with us most nights. My husband thinks that if the dog is going to be in HIS bed then she needs to contribute to the household somehow. I tell him that she makes the queen happy and therefore she more than earns her keep! He complains about the “flea bag” on a regular basis and they kick each other at night as they sleep.
Lu on the other hand, comes to me every time she gets in trouble for spinning three times before she lays down or for making too many noises at night or for bringing her squeak toy to bed. She also wants be included in the man’s midnight snacking so she wakes me up to tell on him.
I knew this was all an act on both their parts. So I waited until just the right moment and then caught it on film!
VIOLA!
Notice Lulu doing her usual thing of watching TV on our bed.
Notice she is snuggled up next to a body that is curled in her direction.
Notice the hand on the body is stroking her back.
THEN notice that it’s not my hand because trust me, my hand is not that hairy or manly.
Haha! He loves her! He won’t admit it, but he loves her! AND! She is just as in love with him. She follows him everywhere and she sees him as the Alpha as this house. Ya gotta love it! Guess she’s earned her keep!
I can bank on every word of God. What that does for me is, it gives me the trust I need to follow him. It also means I can believe in him, I can count on him.
Many women can’t say that about their man. Yes, sometimes things have to be postponed but the man who keeps his promise can be trusted. If our need to be loved and secure in our man is a fact, and it is, then our man has to be a man of his word.
What is difference between a word and a promise? Absolutely nothing. God is not a God who should lie because every word that proceeds from his mouth is true and comes to pass. Therefore, every word becomes a promise, a vow and a reality. If we are made in his image then the same principle applies. It then limits what we say and how we say it and we are careful not to make promises we know we can’t keep.
A man worthy of your attention is one whose promises are true. It’s hard to tell that in a few months but over time you begin to see a pattern. This is why we never give our hearts too quickly because you can’t make informed decisions without knowledge.
Understand that not every promise can be fulfilled immediately although it would be nice huh? Sometimes that romantic Friday night dinner has to be postponed because of an emergency but it should always be fulfilled as its earliest possible moment and never ignored or put aside. Promises that are consistently postponed for the next best thing or the emergency that happens every Friday night at work is an indication of what you can expect in a long-term relationship. Maybe he isn’t that into you. Maybe he’s into you but he’s into his work more.
What about promises he made to others? Yes, it’s a character issue you need to play close attention to. The man who promised his wife to honor her and love her all the days of his life but is dating you is not a promise keeper. The man who decided he was not happy and left is wife and kids is also not a promise keeper. The man who made the baby with his last girlfriend is not a promise keeper. The man who cancels his visitation with his daughter this weekend, to take you away, is not a promise keeper. The man who can’t keep a job is irresponsible and therefore is not a promise keeper. You get the point. You, mighty woman, are not special or different. He will reap what he’s sown and he will reap it in your field. Not a good bet for me.
But he’s changed! Uh huh and I promise that lie has been told a million times! Wake up and take notice. Be sure that you know who your man is and make sure he has the character to do what he said he was going to do.
Don McNay a syndicated columnist wrote this article that I HAD to share! So true, so true!
Just say ‘no’ to adult children wanting money
By Don McNay
“My old man is another child that’s grown old.”
— John Prine
It seems like every family has one — the Child Who Never Grew Up.
They mooch off their parents well into their “adulthood.” They frequently need to “borrow” money, with no intention of paying it back. They always have car problems, relationship problems, “bad luck” or other sob stories.
All their problems have the same proposed solution: Money from mom and dad.
Often they are living with mommy and daddy, long past the time when their contemporaries are starting careers and families.
Concepts like budgeting, responsibility and ambition don’t make it into their vocabularies.
According to multiple media accounts, former Michigan basketball star Rumeal Robinson took mooching to a new art.
He tricked his mother into letting him mortgage her home. A headline in the Miami News Times sums it up: “Hoops hero Rumeal Robinson blew a fortune on strippers, got indicted and left his mom homeless.”
Sounds like a great guy.
Mooching children usually don’t hurt parents as dramatically as Rumeal Robinson did, but the results are still bad. Adult children with a “failure to launch” are dragging down parents who can’t afford to subsidize them.
The headline from a recent Newsweek online article read “Retired and Broke.”
According to the AARP, people over 55 is the age group most likely to declare bankruptcy. The article cites the usual bankruptcy causes, like medical expenses and credit card debts, but hammers on the idea of parents not giving money to their children.
The article ends by noting that “parents may want to help the next generation extricate itself from debt. Leading by example might be a more valuable gift.”
Wise advice.
It’s not an easy decision to implement. There are situations, like medical emergencies or short term downturns, where families don’t have another alternative.
I’m also not talking about children with severe illnesses or who are unable to work. I wouldn’t throw my sick child out on the street and neither would you.
I’m talking about the child who has a car, an iPhone and running-around money but doesn’t chip in for rent or groceries.
You are not doing your children any favors by not allowing them to grow up.
Roger Ailes did an interview for CSPAN a few years ago. He said when he turned 18, his father asked him where he planned to live.
Ailes was puzzled, but his dad said, “I can get you a job at the factory, (where his dad worked) but you can’t live here.” Ailes decided to go to college at Ohio University and got into broadcasting. He went on to create Fox News, CNBC and play major roles in some presidential campaigns.
Love him or hate him, Ailes is one of the most influential people in American media. His father forced him to grow up and make his mark.
I had a similar moment on my 18th birthday. My father took me outside and said, “You are going to get what I got on my 18th birthday — the whole wide world to make your living in.” (Dad had to quit school and go to work at age 15.)
Dad pointed to his car. He said, “You see that Cadillac? That is MY Cadillac, not OUR Cadillac. Make some money and buy your own.”
Twenty years later, I did.
It wasn’t “tough love.” It was making me realize that I was an adult and had adult responsibilities.
I’m OK with parents helping children through college (in four years, not forty), but after that they are on their own.
People in my father’s generation were drafted and sent off to war. There are 18-year-olds today who are fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq.
I saw a Frontline story about Afghanistan where the soldiers are sleeping on the ground without mattresses. I suspect those soldiers don’t have much sympathy for a 30-year-old who is still living with mommy and daddy.
I work with people who receive “big money” from lotteries, inheritances and injury settlements. All of them have the same problem that retirees have. Once they lose all their money, they have very little ability to make it back.
Like retirees, their financial downfall often comes from family and friends who want to “borrow” money from them.
Which gets us back to the adult in your house who still acts like a child. I can go on for hours about how making life too soft for him or her is bad. I can go on about how eating away your savings will leave you in a situation where death is your only way out of the mess. I can go on for hours about how giving adult children money is not actually love. It is enabling bad behavior, like giving heroin to an addict.
Instead, I give you three words to remember: Rumeal Robinson’s mother.
Don’t end up like her.
Helen Ford adopted Robinson at age 10 after his biological mother abandoned him. She and her husband raised him, helped Rumeal become part of a national championship basketball team at the University of Michigan and a player in the National Basketball Association, making millions of dollars.
Rumeal blew through his money, spending it on strippers, nightlife and high living. He never gave anything to the people who raised him. After his career ended, he got his mother to agree to let him take a mortgage on her house. Later, it was foreclosed on.
She used the house as a center for foster children. Now she lives in a two room apartment.
Rumeal’s mother had good intentions. She wanted to help her son.
Parents are often the last to see that their child is a piece of human garbage. They are the easiest of prey.
I’m seeing a lot of elderly people lose their houses, savings and often their lives (financial pressure is a key trigger for suicide) because children “borrowed” money and never paid it back.
It’s time to cut them off.
The kids will pout and cry. They will try to make you feel guilty. Immature people do that.
Show them that you are a real, loving parent and not a patsy.
Just say “No.” Your own survival is at stake.
If you want some reassurance, I would ask you to call Rumeal Robinson’s mother, but I assume her phone has been cut off.
The stone after it is thrown
The word after it is said
The occasion after the loss
The time after it’s gone
Meditate on this today. It’s short but powerful. What does it all mean? Simply, it means we must weigh the action before the deed. We must have vision beyond the moment. We must anticipate the reaction of our action. We must act wisely. We must act kindly. We must act with love.
The stone after it’s thrown – have your facts together. Jesus said, to the mob that was ready to stone the woman caught in adultery, let he who is without sin cast the first stone. In that story everyone walked away and no one threw the stone. Think carefully before you judge a matter.
The word after it’s said – Words leave an imprint so you must use them carefully. Once they are said they can’t be unsaid. The bible says life and death are in the power of the tongue. You can revive a thing or kill it by your words. The bible also says to let our words be few. Why? Because words need to be carefully considered.
The occasion after the loss – Don’t put off doing what you know you are supposed to do. We all get so busy in life but once the moment is gone it can never be recovered. There is a season for everything the bible says. Don’t live with regret.
The time after it’s gone – Timing is everything. There are moments in time that will never come around again. In battles there are strategic times of attack and retreat. The bible says God chooses the time. Don’t miss that appointed time of favor for your life. Don’t miss the opportunity. Don’t die leaving things undone.
If you were to die today what would the world miss?
I know it sounds like like a bleak question but I ask because many of us don’t know our worth and I want you to think about it, just as I am thinking about mine.
Don’t give answers like my family would miss me, my dog wouldn’t get fed. I want you to search your heart. Are you called to more than what you are doing.? What voids are you filling on earth? What are you doing here and why?
Pastor Susan 