Category: God

Set It Down

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Woman-at-the-Well

John 4:28 The woman then left her waterpot, went her way into the city, and said to the men, 29 “Come, see a Man who told me all things that I ever did. Could this be the Christ?” 30 Then they went out of the city and came to Him.

The story of the woman at the well is found in John 4. Read it, it’s a great story of redemption and hope. It’s the first message I ever preached and this beautiful painting depicting this story hangs in my room. I relate to her as a woman who had lost faith in things and was just going along. Perhaps you do too.

So a very simple post today and a few very complex questions for your consideration.

When the woman at the well discovered that the natural water pot, and the natural well, would never quench her spiritual  thirst,  or deep down longing for something more than water in dry place, she quickly traded the water pot, her lifeline, for the security of what was being offered, a chance to have her needs met. Maybe because she had nothing to lose, maybe because she had daddy issues, whatever the case, she set it down and decided to trust her gut.

What are you holding onto just in case this Jesus thing doesn’t work? What would it take for you to put it down?

A job?

Money?

A mindset?

A relationship?

A selfish ambition?

Remember, for her, that water pot represented her life. In the desert you need water or you die. What represents life to you?

Being Present

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Genesis 22:1 Now it came to pass after these things that God tested Abraham, and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.”

Genesis 22:7 But Isaac spoke to Abraham his father and said, “My father!” And he said, “Here I am, my son.”

Genesis 22:11 But the Angel of the Lord called to him from heaven and said, “Abraham, Abraham!” So he said, “Here I am.”

There is so much distraction these days. I find myself reaching for my phone out of boredom. When faced with an uncomfortable silence I will grab the phone. How much I must miss out on!

There is joy in being present in the moment. There are things that could change our lives but I wonder what we miss when we are too distracted? As I was reading this passage of scripture this week I noticed that Abraham was experiencing life altering blessings as he lived in the moment. Abraham was attentive to the voices in his life and he was responding obediently to each of them.

Here I am

What powerful words. In context of which Abraham speaks here, he is present to God. He is present to His son, and he is present to His messenger. Three simple words and yet, in the tyranny of the urgent, we often miss them. We tune out more often than not. There are messages coming across the screen as I write this, that I am trying to ignore in order to get my point across without losing it. How many times have I had what I call lonely lunches when my spouse gets a phone call in the middle of our time together and he says, “Oh, I’ve been waiting for this call all morning.” You might think this is rude but it’s more normal today than ever before and I have to admit there are times when I am guilty. Yet! What do I miss? At the end of the my life what will matter most, the phone call that interrupted my lunch or the conversation with my man?

Here I am. I am going to practice that sentence. For you see, if you read it again:

Here I am 

you begin to catch a glimpse of something even bigger. Here I am. In this present moment I am. In this present moment I am truly in the image of my Father. Not early, not late, just in time. In this sacred space I am truly a representative of what He is to us all. Present. In our time of trouble, in our time of sorrow, in our time of joy, in our time of doubt, in our triumphant time, and our defeat. Here I am. Let’s practice it.

The Comedy of My Panic Attack

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Thursday we flew out to Las Vegas to celebrate our wedding anniversary. My son and beautiful daughter-in-love were flying in to meet us there as well. We boarded the prop plane and sat down. I had my ipad with books loaded and a magazine for the few moments that you can’t have it powered on. I was excited because I was going to see Donny and Marie that evening. I think I’ve confessed several times that I had a major crush on him as a little girl.

Then it happened. The door of the plane closed and I heard the pilot’s voice. “Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, we’re going to have a bumpy flight about 25 minutes into our flight due to the heat and the clouds over the Sierra Nevada. Please make sure  your seatbelt is securely fastened and we’ll try to get above the clouds and make your ride as smooth as possible.” I don’t have a clue as to what happened within me but I had a panic attack. I looked at Doug and said, “Should we get out? We can drive.” He laughed and said, “Noooo, we’ll be fine.”

There were maybe 30 people on the flight. We take off and it’s smooth so I begin to breathe. We have some maybe normal dips but in my head, in that moment they are huge. My heart is beating so hard. So I begin to self talk:

Ok, just breathe, you don’t want to be on the news as the lady who made the flight turn around. Just breathe.

Susan seriously! Your dad piloted a four seater in the desert of Tucson. You’ve sat in the back seat eating snacks when it felt like a roller coaster.

Yes but you were a kid. Children don’t think in terms of death.

What if I never get to see Donny Osmond?

Wait! Pray! You know how to pray! Dear Heavenly Father, please don’t let anyone be on this flight whose time is up. Okay, and if by chance I’m on a plane with someone whose time is up, don’t let me feel the crash. Knock me out or whatever you have to do. Or better yet, send Jesus to catch me, that would be cool, but whatever you do, if it’s my time, let me wake up in your arms secure in knowing you are with me. But yeah, if I get a choice, I want to land in Vegas and go to the show tonight. In Jesus Name!

He’s coming on the clouds, so lift your head up, lift your head up, lift your head up. (This is a Deluge song, don’t ask I have no idea!)

Dr. Myles Munroe says you should take authority. You’re an ambassador, a daughter of the King. Take authority of the birds of the air. Yes, that’s it, it’s a modern day bird. I’ll take authority over it.

Why can’t we just be in the Millennial Reign already? Paul says these are tents we live in, that’s why we need airplanes. Once Jesus died he got his mansion body and he could transport himself. I’d never have to worry about falling out of the sky. Plus, I would KNOW Donny Osmond because he believes in Jesus.

Okay, we are not only bouncing we are fish tailing.

Wait! Who am I kidding? The bible says “Lo, I am with you.” I shouldn’t even be on an airplane. It’s anything but low.

All of this was going on in my head and then right about then, we landed.

Life is a ride my friend, don’t take it so seriously. The flight home was probably more bumpy. I had seen Donny Osmond, spent time with my kids, and Doug was snoring so loud people were turning to look at him. There were other cares to pray about but we won’t go there!

Tyler Perry’s Temptation

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You would think my husband being a Pastor from Louisiana would love Tyler Perry movies but it’s not really the case, his Louisiana experience is more Duck Dynasty, give him a good gun and car chase movie and he’s in. Me, on the other hand, Latina from Central California relates completely and can’t wait until the next movie comes out.

When Temptation came out in theaters, we were in Hawaii on vacation so we saw it about a week after we came back. We went to a late showing, popcorn in hand, waiting to laugh, and cry, and hear about how Jesus works whether you’re all screwed up or on the right path. I had heard it was different, more dramatic. What a shock. What followed was a movie that wasn’t all that funny. I mean, it’s Tyler Perry, so there is humor, but not really. Instead it was thoughtful and thought provoking. The characters embedded themselves in my heart as I watched the scenes unfold, and I begin to see how temptation isn’t an all at once assault. Temptation coming out of nowhere would be too easy to say no too. Instead temptation begins by taking small steps to your undoing. It’s small things like changing who you are to conform to a pattern that doesn’t quite fit but is acceptable to your moral code. At first, it’s subtle and doesn’t seem to be too bad.

Sadly, the reviews I read weren’t that good, but you have to remember that they are from critics whose life experience doesn’t conform with the characters portrayed. The type of temptation that is portrayed is common place and possibly viewed as not much temptation at all. Yet, interestingly enough the movie was in the top 10 grossing movies at the box office for the week we attended. The review that most intrigued me was that of my husband who sat in the chair quietly the whole movie. I couldn’t tell if he liked it or not. We held hands like we always do. We ate popcorn like we always do. I was freezing like I always am. He puts his arm around me like he always does. Then as the credits began to roll he looked at me and said two words, “WOW! POW-ER-FUL”. We held hands as we left the theater and he said, “We have to show this movie to all of our married couples in church.” I answered, “I am already devising the bible study that is going with this movie, it was too deep not to delve in.” We talked about the intricacies of the movie all the way to the car.

The movie comes out on DVD in August. Doug and I will hold an evening bible study where we’ll show the movie and talk about temptation in all of its forms as portrayed in the movie. For those of you who read this blog and don’t belong to our church, I urge you to see it. For those of you who are Christians, I urge you to have some frank discussions. This is meat people!

I’ve Created My Own Prison

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We learn through pain that some of the things we thought were castles turn out to be prisons, and we desperately want out, but even though we built them, we can’t find the door.

Lamott, Anne (2012-11-13). Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers (p. 37). Penguin Group US. Kindle Edition.

Trapped verb
1. a contrivance used for catching game or other animals, as a mechanical device that springs shut suddenly.
2. any device, stratagem, trick, or the like for catching a person unawares.

That ideal that once seemed so right is now the very thing that holds you hostage to its demands. It’s a scary place to be, sometimes lonely, sometimes heartbreaking, and always a place that you can move from, but always with consequences. Consequences that will be good and bad because there is always pursuit in a prison breakout. Only you can determine when you are willing to face those consequences.

My girlfriend’s husband recently was promoted in his job. The money is fabulous but it doesn’t make up for the fact that he is working 12-14+ hour days, comes home after the children are asleep and leaves before they wake up. “This is too great a price to pay”, she told me, “I never have time with him and if I selfishly envision a date with my husband, I take a father away from the precious few moments he may have with his children.” When I asked her why he didn’t just take a step down in position she said, “We bought a new car, leased a beach house for the month of July, and put the kids in private school, we couldn’t even consider it now.”

Seemingly trapped without a door of escape.

An acquaintance who began dating a man who was still married but separated from his wife. Dating for almost two years now, but he hasn’t filed for divorce. She’s well invested into this relationship now. She loves him and he says he cares for her but he’s in counseling with his wife.

The fairytale that has trapped the princess in the tower.

My stepmom friend who fell in love with him before he met his kids and crazy ex-wife. Then thought somehow love was going to cover it all. Now everyone is miserable.

Locked in a state of despair.

Then there I stand. Trapped in an ideal, up until last year, where I thought any time sitting down relaxing was wasted time. Headaches and heartache and stress and anxiety were so normal to me.

I decided to take a Milwaukee Super Sawzall to that mindset and I cut a hole for a door to walk out of the castle I had built. I can’t tell you it was easy. I can’t tell you that I don’t still have moments of anxiety where I hear myself try to coax my body into one more activity. These days I stop and I take a good look at what the cost will be, and I pray for the wisdom to know what the right thing to do is, even when I am afraid the answer is no and I desperately want a yes.

The Joy Of Service

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Acts of service

I slept and dreamt that life was joy, I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold service was joy. ~ Rabindranath Tagore

There is something really great about service. In the deepest throws of depression it uplifts me. In the mundane day to day life, it brings excitement and purpose. In the busy hectic world in which I live, it slows it down to a pace outside of myself. I watch the expression of gratitude on the face of a recipient and it brings a feeling of gratitude to my heart. There is something wonderful in a life filled with service. What can you do to serve even one person this week? How did it make you feel?

Peace With Ourselves and God

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 2 Peter 1: 12For this reason I will not be negligent to remind you always of these things, though you know and are established in the present truth.

When my daughter was a baby I went to the priest of our church and asked to have her baptized. The priest sat across the desk from me and we had a heart to heart talk. He ended with, “Susan, go home and sprinkle some water on her head. The way you are living it will mean the same thing.” I wasn’t offended by him at all. I knew the rules of my faith and I knew I fell short. He explained how he didn’t believe in limbo and how making a vow is important and what the promise meant. As I think on him today, I pray God blesses him abundantly, he and all the other men and women of God who loved me enough to tell me the truth, and who loved their faith enough to not compromise it for numbers or popularity. I can visually see the scene in my head to this day and I see that woman speaking to that priest and she was dying, and he was offering her a chance a real life!

This past weekend I preached on one of those touchy subjects about knowing each other by the fruit we bear. It was a total God thing and I didn’t even blog this past week because I was studying for this message and trying to put it all together, in less than book form, and something more like what your rear end can handle in a service and still be effectively causing the process of thinking it through.

Can I be honest and say I do think about how people will take it? I have to reconcile the process of having peace without the acceptance of sin. Or rather, loving someone through a process rather than telling them all is well when it isn’t. You see, I appreciate the priest who spoke the truth to me. I count him as one of the seeds that was planted in me that caused me to change and become more aware of what I was doing and why. I believe still today that he cared more about my soul than he did of whether I liked him or not. That’s love.

Today I read the recent Gallup Poll that said 60% of Americans, of which 78% of those profess Christianity, say they do not think having a child out of wedlock is morally wrong. They still think having an extramarital affair is wrong but not having a child out of wedlock. As one who had a child out of wedlock, that would seem like good news but it wasn’t then and it isn’t now. Kids need a mom and a dad and they need those two people to get along and to function as a family.

To speak against this is to be thought of as hateful, judgmental, a hypocrite, and all the other terms thrown at Christians today. So I write today to settle your soul and mine. These ways of life created by God are there to save us from heartache. Whatever the world may say about you, boldness and love shall prevail.

For So Long

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For so long 
You and me been finding each other for so long 
And the feeling that I feel for you is more then strong, girl 
Take it from me 
If you give a little more then you’re asking for 
Your love will turn the key ~ Lyrics to I Just Want To Be Your Everything by Andy Gibb circa 1977ish

When I was 12 I was in love with Andy Gibb, the younger brother of the Bee Gees. I wanted to marry him when I grew up and this song was one day going to be sung to me by Andy himself. Of course Andy Gibb was quite a bit older than I was and didn’t know I existed but those were minor details. I had posters of him and Rob Lowe plastered on my wall. Andy Gibb was my teen crush. Before that, when I was in elementary school, I was going to marry Donny Osmond. I guess I’ve always had a thing for musicians and Mormons.

Life has a way of moving forward and Andy Gibb married Victoria Principal who I saw in an infomercial years later as she urged me to put cream on my neck because “you may forget but no one else will”, and I never did. She later divorced Andy Gibb because of his heavy cocaine addiction. Andy eventually died in 1988 at the age of 30. By then I had moved on in my life and mourned my teenage crush by reading about it in People magazine and thinking it was so sad. So where am I getting at?

Only that while on vacation in Kauai this spring, Doug and I rented a jeep and were cruising down the coast as I scanned the radio for a station. I found one and settled back when suddenly the intro for I Just Want To Be Your Everything came  on. I sucked in my breath, turned the volume up, and sang to my heart’s content. Suddenly the words meant so much more to me! I was truly with the absolute love of my life, and that dream of a guy who would love me like the words to that song were real. Gone were the relationships of teen fantasy,  it had all fallen into place when the timing was right realizing that before that I was only trying to rush the for so long part of the song.

I wish I could show all of you young girls, who are reading this, my life in snapshots and how if I had just waited for correct timing I would have made that teen girl’s fantasy come true. In that moment on that road in Kauai, I reached over and grabbed Doug’s hand. I squeezed it, smiled big at him and said, “Baby, I love you and guess what? We’re in Hawaii on a beautiful day, having fun, with not a care in the world. Do you know that when this song was popular I was in Junior High?” He drove on, smiled and said, “Umm hmm”, having no clue of my revelation, and looking for a place to pull over at the beach he continued, “Bet you didn’t know you’d be here with me”.  No, I didn’t but I’m super glad I am!

Laying It Down

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There’s freedom in hitting bottom, in seeing that you won’t be able to save or rescue your daughter, her spouse, his parents, or your career, relief in admitting you’ve reached the place of great unknowing. This is where restoration can begin, because when you’re still in the state of trying to fix the unfixable, everything bad is engaged: the chatter of your mind, the tension of your physiology, all the trunks and wheel-ons you carry from the past. It’s exhausting, crazy-making.

Lamott, Anne (2012-11-13). Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers (p. 14). Penguin Group US. Kindle Edition.

Have you ever just had to lay your burdens down? I mean I know it sounds dramatic but there is something so freeing in the surrender. Something about the Be still and know that I am God, process of life. (Psalm 46:10). When you just kind of look up at the sky and say,

“I can’t figure this one out, you’ll have to kick in some help here. I know You know, and I know You’ve been waiting for me to give up, so I’m crying uncle.” 

I wish I could tell you that magically it happens in an instant and a remedy comes but it doesn’t usually work out that way for me. Sometimes it seems as if I’ve taken a number and I’m waiting at the DMV of heaven for one of the clerks to make sure my paperwork is correct just to send me to wait in the next line. Slowly but surely the answers come. Not always in the form I would like but  here is where it gets tricky, I have begun to trust it’s the form that is intended. Even when I don’t like it. Even when I don’t understand it. Even when it makes me mad.

I talked to someone recently who said she can’t come to church because she’s mad at God for making her go through some things she doesn’t feel are fair. I smiled and said nothing. Maybe I should have been God’s defender but I figure God is dealing with her just as he is dealing with me and maybe she has to walk it out just as I do. Sometimes despite what people say, your testimony just sounds like a political speech. I simply pray for her for the most part. Other times, I go through scenarios of what I could have said. “Why are you special?” “Oh, so it’s okay for others to go through this but not you?” Only that isn’t effective is it?

I wish I could tell you that I’ve mastered the secret of surrender and I have 5 easy steps for you to follow. I don’t. I know I do roll over and show my belly a lot easier than I used to. Maybe it’s age, or maybe I might have learned a thing or two. I do know this: Worrying gives me a headache and doesn’t make the answer come faster. Instead laying it down, clearing my agenda, and waiting as patiently as I can seems to be working.

Even Birds Do It

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Think of the now ubiquitous “failure to launch” syndrome of those twenty- or thirty-somethings still living with their parents. They cannot end childhood and fully enter adulthood. But the bigger issue is often the parents’ inability to end the pattern and stop the toxic dependency by pushing the grown “kid” out of the nest. They refuse to end their “helping” role, which is not in fact helping.

Cloud, Henry (2011-01-18). Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward (p. 11). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.

The book Necessary Endings will clarify things for you. I read it at a moment of desperation and eliminated and limited detrimental things in my life, even clutter both physical and mental because the wisdom penetrated that deeply. However, this thought made me stop reading for over 24 hours as I processed the concept and tried to figure out the why.

There is an idolatry of ourselves going on these days and it manifests in the control of our children. We have determined that our child is the smartest, brightest, most likely to succeed (even if I have to do it for you), brilliant, talented, moral, beautiful, and end all to all humanity. Cancer has not been remedied, nor wars ended simply because our child has not reached that age of maturity YET. But fear not world! Our child will git-ur-dun. Oh, and by the way, if you don’t like my child? Well, you’re just a hater who wishes your child was as good as mine.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only woman on the planet who thinks her children are smart and they are one of many smart children, but my measure is are they good kids? I think my kids are good looking but so are so many other people but are their hearts right with God?  I love my kids but life is life, consequences are consequences and  I knew one day I would push them out of the nest so that they can either fly, or fall to the ground. So far my stats are decent. Two have launched willingly, two have been launched, all have flown. Only, the verdict isn’t in yet because I hear sometimes they boomerang.

We could just chalk this failure to launch thing to the economy, to immaturity, to a variety of factors but the statistics are that suicides and homicides are climbing, depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, drug usage, and STD’s are at an all time high among our kids. Something is wrong. What is it?

Could it be that in this consumer driven, all about me culture that we live in we fear that our children’s failure reflects on us?

Therefore, propping them up in whatever capacity we can alleviates the self-inflicted embarrassment that is thrust on us. We have to have the best kid  and provide the best privilege because we are the best parents.

If you think I’m wrong watch how it plays out. I’ve seen parents of adult children throw their grandchildren on the altar of their ego manifested in their child. We all watched it play out with the Casey Anthony case. We aren’t doing it for the child’s sake. We’re doing it for ourselves. We have created an image of ourselves and the statues that we worship resemble the faces of our children because they look like ours. None of us have to watch TV to see how this plays out. We need only to look in our own homes and those of our community to see the reality.