Confrontation is a big bold word. We use it as a small word and explain that isn’t really what we meant but the word confrontation should be kept in reserve for big action.
1. an act of confronting.
2. the state of being confronted.
3. a meeting of persons face to face.
4. an open conflict of opposing ideas, forces, etc.
5. a bringing together of ideas, themes, etc., for comparison.
6. Psychology. a technique used in group therapy, as in encounter groups, in which one is forced to recognize one’s shortcomings and their possible consequences.
The problem with confrontation is that sometimes it is necessary but very rarely is it comfortable. For most people it takes a lot of effort to do. In an effort to avoid confrontation, we allow far too many things to pile up before taking action. By avoiding confrontation you create more confrontation. The pile up of offenses begins to take on a life of its own which begins to choke out the relationship and sometimes any hope of reconciliation.
Good decent nice people tend to have a problem calling things what they are. They allow far too many evil things to happen before they get up the nerve to have the conversation. Very often they are pushed into confrontation which renders them unprepared and out of their element. So rather than face that type of action they stay quiet and seethe. This actually helps no one and often allows evil to perpetuate. Although preparation will not prepare you for every situation you’ll be more in control of the situation and be less likely to flounder.
Confrontation although a rare occurrence is sometimes necessary and it is more than a simple conversation. By nipping these things in the bud getting to the heart of the matter often we stop things from getting worse.
3 thoughts on “Confrontation”
As much as I hate confrontation, I know you are correct. I struggle in this area but keep getting better with a loving wife who helps me.
I write a blog about how men can be better husbands for their wives. I hope you will check it out. Just by our blog names I would say we are somewhat kindred spirits.
I have a lot of people who avoid talking to me anymore because I tend to call a spade a spade and dirt, dirt. I also praise openly because if I’m gonna be honest and forthright on the one side I need to be the balance as well.
Oddly enough, I have people who avoid me because I praise them openly. Why? Well, my conjecture is they think I want something from them and I’m buying it through praise.
Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
I’m learning, however, when to speak truth. Proverbs warns us constantly that words timely spoken are of the most value, so I think we need to learn wisdom about the time to confront. Many of us (like me) are a bull in a china closet breaking things willy-nilly and wondering why the outcome goes so negative.
Paul tells the Galatians to gently restore one who has fallen into sin; he told Timothy to gently instruct those who oppose him.
Our Master’s methods never back down from confronting foolishness, but neither did He throw stones. We need to be careful how we approach it and be wise as serpents while being harmless as doves.
Yeah but we look at Paul’s “gently” and know that we are in good company. 🙂