It’s time to just freshen up the site. I hope you like the new look!
Despite the Lie Part 2
I know many young women who shack up and have babies outside of the confines of marriage, and since I was once them, I ask why and they say things like:
I’d like to be married but he doesn’t want to.
We’re happy and good just like this.
My parents got married and had kids and they still ended up divorced.
My parents got divorced when I was 11 and so nothing is for sure.
He doesn’t want to get married and I am cool with that.
That’s all great if they would not have kids being dragged through all of this, but it’s generally not the case.
Remember the bible verse from Part 1: The violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’.
So we shack up, we break up, we take those kids made in the first relationship to meet the new love, make some more kids, and everyone is supposed to be alright through all of this despite the lie. Then I saw it first hand, not from the perspective of the single mom, that I was, but rather the kids. I saw teenagers who looked normal, who were smiling, laughing, talking, shouting, running, skipping, jumping, and loving each other just moments before, teens who seemed to be carefree, raise their hands as they said the violent dismemberment of their family made them feel as if their lives were over.
It is then no wonder that living together looks so appealing. If all they know is that marriages are meant to be broken and all they cause is heartache then why would you want that? Only facts play out differently. The fact is that with some help, books and counseling, an attitude change, most marriages can be fixed. Of course we’d never advocate staying in an abusive situation, as that’s just crazy, but go back to the scripture that we read in the last post.
Malachi 2:13 And here’s a second offense: You fill the place of worship with your whining and sniveling because you don’t get what you want from God. 14 Do you know why? Simple. Because God was there as a witness when you spoke your marriage vows to your young bride, and now you’ve broken those vows, broken the faith-bond with your vowed companion, your covenant wife. 15 God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse. 16 “I hate divorce,” says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.” So watch yourselves. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cheat. ~The Message
It’s talking about adultery here. It’s not saying you broke those marriage vows because you refused to take the trash out, or you and I had a different vision for the future, in fact God is saying, and it’s consistent in the New Testament, that the only thing that breaks the marriage vows is adultery. Even then, when I saw the teens break down at the youth conference I wondered if we adults could look at those broken kids and maybe even fix that? Maybe despite the lie that it’s only sex and it means nothing because ‘baby, you wear my ring’, we couldn’t work harder at keeping it together and keeping our kids whole. Because all I see is a generation that’s about to be violently dismembered before they even had a chance.
Actually if there is anything good about the economy tanking it’s that some people are postponing divorce. Maybe one of those couples will read this and change their mind. One can only pray.
Despite the Lie
The frivolous attitude of shacking up is contradictory to the integrity of commitment therefore, the rate of divorce is higher than non-shack ups. ~ Dr. Laura
I love Dr. Laura Schlessinger because despite the cultural lies of what is normal, she stands up for the voice of right. While many criticize her and her stance on marriage and family I salute her. Perhaps because I am one of those bad girls who turned it around, I have more grace than others for women whom I admire for telling the truth. I see nothing wrong in Dr. Laura’s stance and I credit her with helping shape my morals and values for the last 22 years of my life that I’ve been listening to her radio program daily. It’s on even now in the background as I write this blog.
Why has marriage taken such a beating? I think it has to do with the fact that we throw it away so easily and embrace an inferior alternative. I found a piece of scripture that has been hounding me for weeks now.
Malachi 2:13 And here’s a second offense: You fill the place of worship with your whining and sniveling because you don’t get what you want from God. 14 Do you know why? Simple. Because God was there as a witness when you spoke your marriage vows to your young bride, and now you’ve broken those vows, broken the faith-bond with your vowed companion, your covenant wife. 15 God, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse. 16 “I hate divorce,” says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.” So watch yourselves. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cheat. ~The Message
The violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage. It really is like that isn’t it? When we see it writing does it cause us a moment of pause? And when God says what he wants from marriage, “Children of God, that’s what”. What does that invoke in your thought process? I see people who are born into a moral character to do what is right despite the lie that everyone is going to be okay being raised outside of marriage. Living together outside of the marriage covenant takes all the boundaries away, leaving children vulnerable and believing that marriage doesn’t matter.
While at a youth convention this past week, the speaker was talking about defining moments in life. They asked the youth to raise their hand if when their parents divorced, they felt their lives were over. In other words, was this the defining moment of their future? In an instant hundreds of kids raised their hands. Bible: “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.”
Even as I am writing this a horrible pain stirs up within me and I tear up to have been a witness to this moment. What we adults took so insignificantly, profoundly defined these teen’s future. Remember the speaker asked for those kids who thought their lives were over when their parents announced their divorce. Can you imagine such a deep pain? The violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage. It wasn’t just about two people, it affected a family, a community and a nation. When you picture violent dismembering of flesh what comes to your mind? Does the National Geographic Channel and the lions biting into a zebra come to mind? Does Jeffrey Dahmer’s pieces of flesh in his fridge come to mind? Yes, it’s like this.
Stay with this thought until next time. I have so much more to say on this matter so check back.
You Are Woman
Inhale deeply
Exhale with purpose
Feel your pulse
You are alive, beautifully and wonderfully made.
You were made with a purpose. While the Lord was still forming you before the dawn of creation, He was singing songs of love over your heart. He was instilling your destiny into your innermost being. Can you hear His song in your heart?
I love you.
You are a success.
Meant for greatness.
You are a mighty warrior.
A gentle hand.
A gifted touch.
A compassionate voice.
A desperate intercessor.
A world changer.
A humanitarian.
A beautiful princess.
You are My beloved daughter.
Those words are nestled way down deep in your soul. Those words have only to be redeemed to become life giving once again.
Life giving.
You and God have something in common. He gives life, you bring it forth. Whether by natural birth or by your loving hand you share this characteristic with the One that made you.
Inhale deeply
Exhale with purpose
There is one who wishes desperately to steal these affirmations from you. One who is jealous of your life giving ability. You see, he only has one purpose and that is take life. He doesn’t understand your essence and makes a charge against you to God. He cries out in anger the question that God refuses to answer.
“WHY HER?”
He can’t fully understand the love of the Father for you because he knows nothing about love. He can’t comprehend why God would make a human a little lower than angels and then love, so unconditionally, that wonder that is you. God doesn’t feel the need to explain himself. It just is.
Inhale deeply
Exhale with purpose
Satan would like to destroy you with words about your lack. Your weight, you’re too much, you’re not enough, your hair isn’t the right color, your eyes are just a little too close together, you have freckles, you have wrinkles, you’re barren in body, mind, and spirit.
Only you’re not any of that.
Inhale deeply
Exhale with purpose
Put your armor on, mighty woman of the Most High King. Your identity doesn’t lie in the culture of the day. Your identity doesn’t lie in the reflection of the mirror, no, my sister, my friend, you are much more than that could ever convey. For you see, your identity lies in the Creator. He is not a man and therefore can not lie. He is the Almighty God, the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End and He says, you are His. And. that. answers. that. question.
Inhale deeply
Exhale with purpose
No longer will you be chained to the methods and standards of this world. You are His.
No longer will you be tied to the comments of the ones that can not save you. You are His.
No longer will you be a slave to the mirror or the scale. You are His.
You are wonderfully crafted, perfected by study, and washed clean by the blood that was shed for your salvation.
Inhale deeply
Exhale with purpose
Rejoice today my sister, my friend!
The enemy of your soul has no hold over you. You are a woman. Beautifully crafted and created to nurture the universe, to be a lioness over your dominion, and to subdue the planet. Rejoice today, for in this revelation is strength beyond understanding, encouragement, fire that doesn’t consume you, and life without limits. You are everything.
10 Things That Kill Prosperity Part 5
For information on Part 4 click here.
8. You haven’t fulfilled your purpose and destiny.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.
If you are not doing what you enjoy doing you will not prosper. You will prosper when you work at what you love to do and what you were called by God to do.
9. Not understanding value.
You must look for things of quality that will last. What good does it do to buy a cheap couch set if in a few years it will fall apart? Why not sit on the floor until you buy what you want and it is of good value before you spend a dime? That’s where the patience lesson comes in! You will not prosper buying junk nor will you prosper overspending. While it may seem like a bargain when at the local discount store two towels sell for five dollars but when they fray in the washer of what value was it?
10. Ignorance or refusing to learn.
Maybe you think reading a book is too boring but what you don’t know can kill you. If you want to get that next promotion in life then you must learn to advance yourself. You have got to read. True poverty is the inability to read. If you can read you are prosperous.
The bible speaks of wisdom crying in the streets and no one hearing her.
Proverbs 1:20 Wisdom shouts in the streets. She cries out in the public square. 21 She calls out to the crowds along the main street, and to those in front of city hall. 22 “You simpletons!” she cries. “How long will you go on being simpleminded? How long will you mockers relish your mocking? How long will you fools fight the facts? 23 Come here and listen to me! I’ll pour out the spirit of wisdom upon you and make you wise.
It says clearly that people perish for a lack of knowledge. In our own country our misunderstanding of the Constitution and our rights as citizens have put us in places of bondage. When you don’t understand something you must seek out the knowledge to that thing. When you don’t understand finances, you end up fearing them or you ignoring them. Either case puts you out of control of your money. When you are afraid to make a move in the financial market you can lose money. When you ignore your finances then all of sudden checks start bouncing and fees begin to accumulate.
Your prosperity is within your control.
10 Things That Kill Prosperity Part 4
If you need to catch up on the topic click here.
4. Bad Habits kill prosperity.
Look around your home. Do you have things in your life that you have not used in the last year? If you have then you are not using your money to its full potential. Clear your life of clutter. I am at this time, taking one tote a week to the RMA store for donation. After having lived in this house for 11 years, I had accumulated way too many things. It feels good to clear the clutter and donate to someone who could actually use it! We need to be able to see our lives uncluttered. It’s time to give it away or throw it away.
Another bad habit is eating out all the time, or buying your coffee on the run each day. Alcohol and tobacco are really expensive bad habits. Driving unnecessarily in today’s economy is a bad habit at over $4.00 a gallon, we need to consolidate our trips. You get the picture.
5. Lack of vision or goals.
From here to the end of the year you are going to hear me speak again and again about your vision statement for 2013. I am already taking notes to write mine out. I will tell you that I have been writing a vision statement each year for 20 years and I have accomplished almost, not quite, everything I have written down. I still have three months to finish my vision statement for this year.
Habukkuk 2:1I will stand at my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint.2 Then the Lord replied: “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it.3For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.
You must begin now to invest in your future. Retirement will be here before you know it .We must plan to have enough money to sustain us until the age of 100 at least. Lack of vision and goals will kill your future.
6. Not being prepared.
You have put all of your eggs in one basket. There is a great old book called, “Who Moved My Cheese?” It’s about how these two workers had worked at a plant their entire adult life and then the plant closes down. One guy figures out a way to get another job while the other flounders not knowing what to do for work. In the bible we see Jacob’s well keep getting plugged up as he walks forward and digs another. Are we prepared to dig another if we have to? Are we prepared for what lies ahead? If your well runs dry what will you do?
7. You rely on others to handle your money.
Couples are famous for this. If the one that does the finances dropped dead tomorrow would you know what you owed and what you had in the bank? If you don’t then don’t expect to prosper. While we are here, do you have life insurance for the loved ones you leave behind? You don’t want to be a burden to those you love.
10 Things That Kill Prosperity – Part 3
The third thing that kill prosperity is:
3. Impatience or the Entitlement Mentality.
If you’re just joining us on this discussion you can read Part 1 Here or Part 2 here.
I believe Pastor Doug when he says if we change our mind we can change our world. When we think we are entitled to have a certain lifestyle then often we make unwise decisions to get that lifestyle.
If someone else has to buy your lifestyle then you aren’t entitled to it. If someone else has to buy your groceries, pay your rent, your cell phone bill, etc.. then you aren’t entitled to it. Let me say this another way. If VISA has to buy your lifestyle then you can’t afford it. If your parents have to buy your lifestyle then you can’t afford it.
Galatians 4:1What I am saying is that as long as the heir is a child, he is no different from a slave, although he owns the whole estate. 2 He is subject to guardians and trustees until the time set by his father. 3 So also, when we were children, we were in slavery under the basic principles of the world. 4 But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, 5 to redeem those under law, that we might receive the full rights of sons. 6 Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” 7 So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.
Now a word to parents. I know you want your children to have things you didn’t have. I know that. I am a mom, I get it. I also know that your being able to keep your little chicks under your feathers means you have control over them. I get that too. The question then becomes do you want the Kingdom of God in your child’s life? In the kingdom a child is no different than a slave. Some of us have slave children that are 40 years old. I want my children to be children of God, not children of Susan Young. I understand your need for control. You just have to ask yourself the tough questions. What happens when you can no longer supply all their needs? If you were to die today, would your kids crumble or stand on their own? Would they become your burden to society or not?
Now a word to the kids. It’s easy when our parents take control of our lives and pay our way through. I get it. I also know what it is to be independent and I can promise you that being independent is a whole lot better than being dependent. I want to call my own shots in life. I can’t do that as a debtor giving my control over to someone else other than God. Have patience all things happen with the fullness of time. You will have your heart’s desire, and pay cash for it all! God is not trying to keep things from you. He is waiting for you to achieve your maturity level to handle what he has for you.
10 Things That Kill Prosperity Part 2
I read an article by Jeffrey Strain called 10 Reasons Why You’re Not Rich that impacted me to break it apart, compare it with the word and see where I stood. I had some learning to do so I’m bringing it to you. The first point was to stop making excuses and you can read that here.
2. Caring what your neighbors think.
So many of us are trying to keep up. Buying the new car because of what the commercial says it says about us. Buying new clothes and shoes when we can’t afford it because we worry about what it says about us.
Prosperous people will tell you this rule: You never invest in something that depreciates. How many of you would buy a stock if you knew it would go down in price instead of up in price? People are watching their money decline right now, but poor people, people with a poverty mentality, throw good money after bad investments. Some people are at the mall every payday but they don’t own a home or have a savings, or a worthy credit score. We need to be smarter than that.
Deut 15:4 However, there should be no poor among you, for in the land the Lord your God is giving you to possess as your inheritance, he will richly bless you, 5 if only you fully obey the Lord your God and are careful to follow all these commands I am giving you today. 6 For the Lord your God will bless you as he has promised, and you will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. You will rule over many nations but none will rule over you. 7 If there is a poor man among your brothers in any of the towns of the land that the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward your poor brother. 8 Rather be openhanded and freely lend him whatever he needs.
Proverbs 22:7 The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.
Pay what you owe. We must quit cheating, trying to get something for nothing, and wondering why we aren’t blessed. If you borrowed money go pay it back. These seem like basic human principles don’t they?
Psalm 37:21 The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously;
Romans 13:7-7 Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor. 8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.
Don’t worry about what your neighbors think. Live life with a generous spirit and a worry-free heart, not looking left or right to see what others are doing but do what you know is right.
10 Things That Kill Prosperity
I was working from home one day and I ran across an article on Yahoo that just stood out to me. It was called, 10 Reasons Why You’re Not Rich and was written by a man named Jeffrey Strain. It was less than 700 words but impacting.
I am going to bring you the points from his article, add some bible and opinion to it, and let you take an assessment to see if you are where you need to be. When I took an assessment I wasn’t where I was supposed to be, so I’m hoping it helps you. As women, we tend not to be as savvy about money mainly because we don’t understand it. For the local TLC group, we live in the poorest county of California. So we need good solid application.
1. No more excuses!
The first reason people give for not saving or being able to prosper is because they don’t make enough money, yet each time we are given the opportunity to prosper we spend more money. We are finally able to afford that “thing” that we think we’ve been missing. We lived fine before the “thing” and we need to determine why we want the “thing”. This question is about our heart issue with money.
Ecc 2:10 I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my work, and this was the reward for all my labor. 11 Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.
When we read that passage, we see that the things we buy with our money aren’t prosperity. It only feels like it. Often times, we become slaves to the stuff. I have heard many of you say, “Now that I’m not getting any overtime, we are really hurting financially.” Well, overtime is just temporary. There isn’t a company in the world that runs prosperously on overtime. Instead of counting on the overtime, see it as an opportunity to save, or pay off debt. Begin to save your money. There will be times when a savings account will be necessary. You need to have at least 3 months worth of savings in the bank for emergencies. So the next time you see that beautiful pair of shoes, if you don’t have three months in savings then please don’t buy them.
Becoming a millionaire has more to do with how you treat money than what you earn. I know millionaires who did not make a lot of money. They saved a lot of money. Period. Treat your money with respect. There is a principle to money that needs to be respected. How many of you have found money in the washer or the dryer? It means you do not respect money. I know someone who found $200.00 in the garbage before. So if we are going to prosper we need to respect money and we need to stop making excuses for its misuse.
A Woman Should Know
I saw this online and had to share it. I have no idea who wrote it, but it’s good!
A Woman Should Have…
a youth she’s content to leave behind…
a past that she’s looking forward to retelling in her old age…
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lacey bra…
one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…
A Woman Should Have…
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored…
A Woman Should Know…
how to fall in love without losing herself…
how to quit a job, break up with a boyfriend, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship….
A Woman Should Know…
When to Try Harder and When To Walk Away…
A Woman Should Know…
that she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
that her childhood may not have been perfect…
but it’s Over…
A Woman Should Know…
what she would and wouldn’t do for love….
and how to live alone even if she doesn’t like it…
A Woman Should Know…
whom she can trust, whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally…
A Woman Should Know…
where to go – be it to her best friend’s kitchen table or a charming Inn in the woods…
when her soul needs soothing…
A Woman Should Know…
What she can and can’t accomplish in a day…
a month…
and a year…









