Category: Ministry

Will The Real Parents Please Stand Up

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I have noticed a phenomenon that is happening in our society that I’d like to explore with you over the next few posts. I notice that we excuse our children’s behavior all the time for whatever reason. Some of our youth are on Facebook and we’re friends, so I read the news feed some of the posts were way out of line. Now, keep in mind, I am not a prude in any way, shape, or form, but some stuff was just not what I would want to have my kids writing on a public forum. I spoke to the youth and their parents. Their parents quickly went on the defense. Here are some of the responses:

Aren’t these pages a form of their private expression? Uh, NO! The Internet is so wide open that privacy and Internet are not words that even go together.

Aren’t these pages just for kids? Well, if they are, then why do I have access? Have you read the papers or turned on a TV in the last century? There are predators out there.

He didn’t do it; it was a friend of his who wrote it. So when it was discovered why wasn’t it removed?

There is a lot of pressure out there and she just wants to fit in. So in her circles of influence fitting in means what exactly?

Pastor Susan you are funny of course not but you know! No, I really don’t.

Not one, not one single parent, reacted in shock or surprise and went to change things for their child. This child’s reputation is harmed and the results in a small town are devastating.  I read recently that Facebook is checked in consideration of college admission. So a post can be damaging on so many levels.

I am not just picking on anyone either. These parents are just a reflection of the rest of our society. Parents just either don’t know what to do or don’t want to be bothered. I think the greatest failure in America is that we decided we were our children’s friends. The problem with that thought process is that we aren’t. Or what I should say is, that we weren’t designed to be. We were called to be parents.

1 Corinthians 4:15 There are a lot of people around who can’t wait to tell you what you’ve done wrong, but there aren’t many fathers willing to take the time and effort to help you grow up. It was as Jesus helped me proclaim God’s Message to you that I became your father.

You know what? They won’t find their own way through life. You’ve got to lead them in the way you’d like for them to go if you want them to be successful. Children have lots of friends but only one set of parents.

Ethos

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byu.org

Ethos is defined as the fundamental character or spirit of a culture; the underlying sentiment that informs the beliefs, customs, or practices of a group or society;

Understanding the definition of ethos, we can see that our family has an ethos, our workplace has an ethos, our schools have an ethos, our church has an ethos, our society has an ethos, and we as individuals have an ethos as well. In an ideal environment all of these groups would have similar characteristics and would function well together but in reality, sometimes they function quite differently and contrary to each other. The question I pose today is where do we as individuals stand in these ever-changing environments? Do we conform to the pattern of this world or do we stay true to what we know is right? Do we even know what is right?

The bible speaks to us about what God deems right and wrong, and while we Amen in the ethos of our church culture, we also Amen in the ethos of our work and home environment, even when the two don’t always intersect. This confusion stagnates our growth, compromises our beliefs and ultimately destroys our soul.

It is then no wonder that people laugh at followers of Christ and don’t follow Christ because of us. We set fire to an abortion clinic rather than get on our knees and pray, or better yet, help fund single mothers, and yet when it’s our unmarried daughter who is pregnant suddenly abortion is a possibility. We rant about the sin of homosexuality, all the while having sex outside the confines of marriage. We cry out against same sex marriage, yet do not uphold the sanctity of marriage simply by staying married. What we say and what we do don’t match up and we aren’t hiding it well.

When we decide that our ethos is going to take on the character and culture of Christ, there will inevitably be a consistency in the culture in which we live. When we decide that love is the banner under which we live, and that there is no room for anything else, our culture will change. Not without a fight, because it’s never as easy as it seems. Our home, our desk or our hammer, our opinions, can and will truly serve God once that decision has been made. We may be the only ones in our environment who walk it out but walk it out anyway. Eventually, someone will notice. The things of the world that easily ensnare us will no longer have a hold on us. Ethos describes our code of conduct. It refers not only to our community but our individuality as well and if we want things to change it must begin within ourselves first.

The church I serve in requires leadership to read and grow and learn. It’s not enough to hear a sermon preached on Sunday, we are challenged to find out if our Pastor was telling the truth. The most consistent comment I hear from members is that they have learned more in the time they have spent with us than in their entire walk as Christians. Why? Is it because we’re so dynamic as teachers? Not even close. The reason is that we give them the responsibility to work out their own salvation on their terms. They do not get invited to form the ethos of our church if they are not already breathing, eating, and living our belief system. Forget faking it, it comes out in the end.

My challenge to you today is study out your environment. What do the things you allow in your home say about your belief in God? Are you consistently the same person at work, home, with friends, at church? Do you dictate the ethos with your behavior or do you allow the ethos to dictate your behavior?

Moms Against Hunger Has Responded

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Please click here to read about the devastation in America and to see how you can help. Dr. Gayla Holley, founder of Moms Against Hunger, is a personal friend of mine who has for years responded to emergencies around the world. I can vouch for the fact that your donations will go to actually HELP! If you are local to me, you may come by the Oasis RMA store and give a donation as well, we will make sure it gets there.

The Woman Who Is To Be My Daughter-In-Law

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She may not know this, but I have been praying for her for years now.

She would have be patient as my son has a dominant Phlegmatic temperament. She’d have to be consistent and not one to change her mind often, and she’d have to be confident as Phlegmatics tend to be passive aggressive at times and this would be something to overcome.

I prayed that she would love the Lord as much as my son did. He has been called to ministry and he loves Jesus with his whole being. He loves seeing people come to Christ and he is active and involved in his church. I prayed for a good help meet.

I prayed she would be faithful. This legacy of divorce that hounds our family needs to end. I drew a line in the sand once I got saved and asked the Lord to change the path for our family to the thousandth generation.

I prayed she would be kind. Of course a mother prays for that quality in her children’s mates, as they will lead her grandchildren, and I want them led well.

I prayed she would be educated. My son loves politics, and books, and news, and sports. She’ll have to be well-rounded and able to hold her own convictions during conversations that often turn into deep discussions.

I prayed that love would overshadow the trials that come naturally when two dwell together. I prayed love would be enough, even when it wasn’t. I pray even now, that they both remember the love they have for one another always.

I prayed she loved video games a little less than he does.

I prayed she would want children and want to raise them, not hand them over to daycare.

I prayed she’d be a good fit for our family and be family oriented. Not one who wants to set the family apart but one that wants to be a part of ours.

I prayed she was sensible and not be prone to unreasonable arguments and drama. I prayed she wouldn’t come on the scene too soon, so that he would recognize her and his need for her.

I prayed she’d be practical and they would be able to work as a team towards common goals.

I prayed she’d have her own interests and friends, I didn’t want them to have conflicts in this area and I didn’t want either of them stuck at home while the other was out and about.

I prayed she was respectful and had a great sense of humor. I prayed she would laugh at the contradictions of who my son is. His quirky habits and sense of humor.

I prayed she’d overlook his faults and his mother. Maybe that should have been at the top of my list.

In less than two months, my son will marry his bride. My heart is filled with the goodness of God. He has given me my heart’s desire and more. Frances is beautiful, brilliant, and loved by us. She hasn’t had a bit of bridezilla attitude and she seems genuinely happy to be with my son. That’s really all I could ask for. Now that the wedding is at hand, I will begin praying for their marriage all the while praising the Lord for his mercy and grace on my life! We are a blessed family.

Love Is In The Air

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February brings Valentine’s Day. For many people it’s a day created by commercialism. A day for the purchase of roses, cards, dinners, candy, and stuffed animals. For others it’s a depressing day of one too many rejections, subpar relationships and and unrealistic expectations. Still for others, it’s a way of life, not a day lived out once a year but a love banner to be played out over their lives.

The bible reminds us that we need to practice Agape love. Love without expectation or condition. Love that merely loves for the sake of love. For humans it seems so unattainable. In a world that does for others according to what they themselves are getting, it seems counter-intuitive to do any more than what is being done for us. Yet, if we would put forth the effort of extravagant love, God love, we’d obtain exactly what we thought we’d been missing. Agape love is above feelings. Agape love even loves the unlovable. As followers of Christ it is our duty to love one another even when it looks seemingly impossible.

Can you find it in your heart to love without reason? To simply love another human being because that is the expectation and the law that God has placed before those of us who follow Christ? Can we love because God loves us and put aside the warmies we expect to get when love happens? Can we find a place where we have no expectation of getting anything other than the satisfaction of knowing we loved when we didn’t have to?

Gendercide

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sofiastyles.com

In our TLC bible study, Lioness Arising, Lisa Bevere makes a statement that 50 million females are missing off the face of the planet. The number struck me. Have you ever considered that women have vanished, been aborted, killed, or set aside, never to be seen or heard from again? Lisa then makes the statement that she isn’t even talking about sex-trafficking.

I began to google gendercide and began to read. Today I wanted share an article with you. As you read it, begin to think about where you are in the world and what you can do about it? What if your role is to make people aware that it happens? As Lisa Bevere states, we think this is an “over there” problem but what we allow over there eventually comes here.

Click here to read the article.

The Call Of Love

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” According to your faith let it be to you.” ~Matthew  9:29

It’s been a stressful week. We’re moving the RMA store to a bigger location. You may not understand what I mean. I mean a 3X bigger location. Every muscle in my body aches, my back hurts, 12-14 hour days, and yet there is an excitement I can’t contain as my artistic skills are put to the test in the decorating department. Everyone is working so hard.

We have two rescue cats in the store. I went to the local shelter to rescue an adult cat when we found a mouse in the store. I’m scared of mice and not ashamed to admit it. When I got to the shelter, there was only one adult cat. Of course there was a catch because there always is in my life. The adult cat came with a kitten attached, literally! So, Fiona, affectionately known as Mama Kitty, and Anya came to live at the RMA store.

They have lived with us for almost two years now and knowing cats hate change, I had them moved last. They came to the new location yesterday. Mama Kitty meowed some, but Mama Kitty knows what’s up. She looked around, milked some treats out of us, and realized any place is better than the shelter, so she went exploring. When she’d get scared she’d come to me and I’d lift her up and snuggle.

Anya, on the other hand, was freaked out with a capital F. She cried out, she ran from every hand including mine. I put her in a room with her food and litter and thought a little quiet would do her good. Nope an hour later, I could not find her. At first, I thought she was hiding. Then I thought maybe she had made a run for it as the door had been left open. I began to walk around the building paying special attention the bushes. My poor Anya had never been outside. She’s a store cat, it’s all she knows. She has never been away from her mom, except for the time she was spayed.

My friend Vikki said, “I hope she turns up or you won’t be able to relax at all.” She knows me. I could not find Anya. I had to go to the office to wait for the payroll and process it. Where could she be? I left the store at 4 p.m. and returned at 7:30 p.m. Where was Anya? I can’t let her sleep outside. I can’t lose her. I am responsible for her.

“Father, I need your help. I can’t find Anya. She’s scared. It’s not her fault we’re moving. I know you see all and you know where she is. Give me your vision in this moment and help me find her. I know you know where she’s at and I know you know my heart towards her. You care about the birds so I know you care about Anya. Help me Lord, direct me, show me where she is. I trust you. I have faith in you. I know you’ll show me. In the mighty name of Jesus I pray. Amen.”

I drove around the back of the building in the dark with my brights on. “Show me where she is Lord.” Dogs were barking furiously in the residential area behind the shopping center. “Lord, protect her.” I parked the car and walked into the building. It was dark and the only light was from the parking lot. I was met by Mama Kitty. “Meow, meow, meow!” She’s weaving in and out of my legs with urgency. I said, “I know sweety. Where’s the baby kitty? Where’s Anya? Help me find her sweet girl.” “Meow, meow!” She moves with urgency as she seems to be saying, “Come with me.”

I follow her and she leads me straight to a muffled cry. “meow, meow”, they are both crying now. “Anya, I hear you baby girl, where are you?” “meow, meow”, her response is so muffled. I move a dresser and there she is. I snatch her up as she shivers. “Thank you Jesus!” “It’s okay baby girl. It’s okay.”

Lord, that you leave the 99 to take me by the hand to show me the desire of my heart. That you would use a cat as your call of love, to lead me to the spot. That you would care about me in the midst of famine, wars, heartache, and trouble.

I watched Anya as she would rub on her mother and rub on me, hair standing up on her back, scared but safe. I am reminded that this is what kingdom life is. “Where are we going Lord?” “Just follow me and have faith.” “I don’t know what is required of me in this journey I’m scared.” “Just trust and follow.”

Merry Christmas

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It’s Christmas!

Isaiah 9:6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 7 Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this.


The tree is decorated.

The presents are wrapped.

The stockings are filled.

The food is planned and ready to go into the oven.

Now it’s time to gather for the most important part of the day. Jesus. I mean that’s why we do this thing right? Because God gave the best he had as ransom for many? Yes, that’s why we celebrate.

May you have abundant joy, plentiful peace, good food, lots of family and friends and above all an awareness that the blessings we’ve been given must be shared!

On behalf of TLC4Women and myself we’re wishing you a Merry Christmas!

Blessing Bags

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There is a really great woman in our city who is so community minded. Her name is Rhonda and she’s one involved chick! I saw her post this on her facebook page and wanted to share it with all of you. If we all pass this idea on in our own communities we could really make a big difference!

Have you ever come across a homeless individual and felt totally uncomfortable?

You see them and you know they are in need, but you are not sure what to do. You know that handing them money is not the best thing. But, you also see that they clearly have some needs. Their lips are chapped. They are hungry. They are thirsty. They are asking for help.

How can you help?

Here is a simple idea – blessing bags.

This was such an easy project. We are now going to keep a few “Blessing Bags” in our car so that when we do happen to see someone on the streets who is homeless, we can hand them a Blessing Bag. I first learned of these bags from my friend, Julie. I am using the picture of her bags (see above) because the ones we took were taken in horrible lighting and turned out really grainy and hard to see what is inside of them.

If you’d like to make your own Blessing Bags, this is what you would need:

Gallon size Ziplock bags
items to go in the bags, such as:
chap stick
packages of tissues
toothbrush and toothpaste
comb
soap
trail mix
granola bars
crackers
pack of gum
band aids
mouthwash
coins (could be used to make a phone call, or purchase a food item)
hand wipes
you could also put in a warm pair of socks, and maybe a Starbucks gift card

Assemble all the items in the bags, and maybe throw in a note of encouragement. Seal the bags and stow in your car for a moment of providence.

This would be a great activity to do with some other families. Each family could bring one of the items going into the bags (ex: toothbrushes). Set up all the items around a table and walk around it with the ziplocks and fill the bags.

If You’re Poor You Can’t Be Choosy

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We run a thrift store. Out of that thrift store, we are able to help people in our community with essential items. Some of our customers come in to shop for bargains. Others come in to shop for free due to a hardship. Thank God our community has responded so well to this. They donate items all the time and they keep us running. They are truly the blessing in this story.

As with anything else, there are a few bad apples to spoil any bunch. We have people who come by to donate a couch, let’s say. The couch has been out on the back porch for a while. The dogs have laid and peed on it, it’s been rained on, it’s got huge gashes of fabric missing and the cushions are pretty much flat as a pancake. Like the picture above it is passed it’s expiration date. The conversation goes something like this:

US: “We’re sorry we won’t be able to take your couch as a donation. It has to be a usable item. It has to be ready for someone to use. Unfortunately we don’t have people who can repair it.”

THEM: “Well, isn’t it going to poor people?”

US: “Yes it is, however this couch isn’t usable in its condition.”

THEM: “I just think if you’re poor, and you need something, you take what you can get.”

US: “Yeah, sorry, no, we can’t take it. It isn’t usable. If you’d like us to dump it for you the dump fee is $20 since they charge us to dispose of it. If you want to pay the $20 we’ll dump it for you.”

This is when the conversation either gets weird or good. Sometimes it’s met with relief. They understand the problem, they just don’t know what to do with the item. They gladly pay the fee and leave it with us. Other times, they become angry. They say things like, “I’ll just go dump it by the homeless people stay.” Or they wait until we’re closed and leave it for us anyway, thus sticking us with the dump fee and therefore taking away $20 from the community help coffer.

Just because a person is having a difficult time, don’t they still deserve dignity? If you were the person struggling to make ends meet, would you want something that is not usable? How would that help you? How would that add quality to your life? We need to think beyond ourselves.

My prayer for the New Year is that we see that poverty in America is not always a sign of laziness. I know families who were on top of the world. Cars, kids in private school, living large and now, due to a reduction in the availability of work, they are having to ask for assistance. Yes, I see abuses of a system. We will always see that. Unfortunately just like the person wanting to save $20 from their pocket and stick it to the church, there are those who want to scam the church out of $20 too. Humanity dictates to us that we treat each other with dignity. Let’s try it. This year, let’s realize that everyone deserves a measure of respect. You never know when you’ll need that kindness reciprocated.