Category: Health

Those Teachable Moments

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do1thing.org
do1thing.org

This week, a homeless couple came to the church looking for help. The girl looked not much over 18 if that, the boy looked about that age. Dirty, walking around town, they walked into our doors. We talked to them and discovered they had no place to stay for the night. Pastor Doug got out a food voucher for the grocery store and paid for a night in a motel.

The next day they were back at the church again looking for another food voucher and another night at a hotel. I asked what their story was. The girl told me that her parents live in our city! I was amazed to say the least. I asked her why she wasn’t staying with them. She promptly told me that they were of the Apostolic faith and they did not approve of her shacking up with her boyfriend. They would not allow her to stay there. Or rather, she corrected, she could stay there but he could not. The following day they were back again. Looking for more help they confessed that her aunt and uncle had taken them in for a night but she had argued with her uncle because he had stipulations to their stay.  He made her leave his home since she could not respect his home. I felt bad for them but my husband put it all in perspective for our family and I want to share it with you. He used it as an example to our children.

He said in this way, ‘This is why we think it’s so important that you follow our rules. We aren’t being harsh but we expect for you guys to help out around the house, be respectful and do things we ask of you. This young couple didn’t learn that lesson. They were given a home to stay in when they were homeless. Instead of being grateful for the roof, they instead began to argue with the owner. Because they never learned obedience they were unable to see the blessing they were being given. For us now to help them in their rebellion to her parents would not be the right thing to do. The best thing for this girl to do is to go home to her family and for her boyfriend to go to his parents home and to begin on the right foot.’

It impacted me because their dilemma was a product of their disobedience. They would rather be homeless than conform to the rules of their parent’s home and yet, were unable to support themselves and wanted others to help. Even after Pastor Doug had said all of this to this girl, she persisted in coming by the church each day. This girl was very determined and said she would not leave the church until she spoke directly to the pastor. In this moment, she didn’t have the sense to realize she didn’t have the power to demand anything.

I began to see a picture of her as a child in the grocery store saying, “Mom can I have a candy?” Her mother answering, “Not today.” “Mom, plllleeaaaseeee can I have a candy.” “Not today.” “Mooooommmmmm, please can I have candy? Mom, mom, mom, mom, please just one?” Her mother angry at her daughter’s persistence sighing and responding, “FINE! GO GET YOUR CANDY.”

It’s in those little teachable moments where character is built. The bible says to let our yes be yes and our no be no but how often do we give in? Would we still give in if we could see the bigger picture of the future? When our desire becomes one where no one is ever unhappy, we do whatever it takes knowing it’s the wrong thing to do.  I wonder, do we become accountable later for the results we created?

I do feel bad for this girl but not how you may think. I feel bad that no one ever taught her how to live within the rules of freedom. It came home in an example in our home immediately this week. One of our kids had refused to do their laundry on their day. When their dad asked why not they proudly stood up, hands on hips and said, “What difference does it make to you when I do it?” See, the point is not when you want to do it, the point is when it’s time to do it.This weekend when the same child wanted to go to the movies at a certain time guess what happened? Dad quietly said, “What difference does it make when I take you as long as I take you?” I think the lesson has been learned at least in our home.

Those of you who are still raising kids please read this and learn a valuable lessons. We can’t save our kids from all heartache but we can help in teaching early lessons that help later. Those of you who have raised your children but they are still sponging because of this exact thing, I pray that you let your yes be yes and your no be no. I know it hurts when our children are in pain and I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to have my daughter running around homeless and I pray I never have to know but it is all about choices and those little teachable moments.

Pro Age

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PICT0008

I love the Dove pro age campaign. I was one who had a problem with the term anti-aging, the alternative being grim. While I don’t want to look or feel old I am not ready to die either. Do you ever just take a long look in the mirror and see how your body is changing? For me ,over the last year or so, I’ve seen some major changes. In the past, weight being so easy to maintain is becoming a struggle. My gynecologist says <em>at my age</em> I have to double my workout routine. I have to be honest and say I don’t feel old enough to be a woman who “at my age” comments need to be made.

I see little lines beginning to form on my face and my skin beginning to feel like my moms. I had to laugh when a man came to me after church service. He said that he had to give me credit because when I raised my arms my skin doesn’t flop around like other women my age. (There’s that at your age comment again)! Uh, I didn’t know what to say to that. Thanks? Do you ever wish people had a filter?

I don’t know if I’ll ever have plastic surgery. I am not against it, I’m just scared to have surgery but will vanity outweigh fear at some point? I can’t say for sure. Age has taught me to never say never. (Okay, now I’m doing the “at my age” stuff). For now, I am perplexed and sometimes a little freaked out over the changes I see. I have gray hair coming in. Not a lot so far, I have seen about a dozen strands but they are there nevertheless, my stylist calls them “the nine”. So I have to keep my hair appointments going so they don’t show. Thank you Jesus that dye was created!

I am learning not to take my body for granted anymore. I am trying to eat better, exercise more and take life a little easier. In my mind I don’t feel old though. I guess I am beginning to understand why my mom randomly says, “How is it that I have a daughter who is 44?” Age just creeps up on you.

When I look at the lines that are beginning to appear I have to say I have earned them. Life hasn’t been easy but it’s been an adventure. So many people come to Christ expecting that it’s like finding a genie in a bottle. Problem with that is that the bible doesn’t say life will be a piece of cake, it says to gain your life you have to lose your life. Sounds complicated but it really isn’t. You just begin to live for things outside of yourself. You begin to focus on the bigger picture. Suddenly it’s not all about you.

In this picture I look comfortable with myself even though I have no makeup on. I struggled whether to post it or not because it’s not my best look but whatever. To me, I look like I’ve figured out who I am. I have learned to be at peace with myself. I look at my eyes in this picture and it looks to me like I have a secret of well-being and a sense of humor. Here’s the secret: Life is meant to be lived, not to be observed, so make the very best of each situation. Trials and heartache are going to come but God was right when he said this too shall pass. I’ll leave you with this question. One year ago today what were you worried about? Most of the time, we don’t even remember what it was but at the time it was super important. So just enjoy your life. How’s that for a woman my age?

Wine Bibber

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depts.washington.edu/
depts.washington.edu/

Pastor Susan,

Is it wrong to drink alcohol if you are a Christian?

Ahhhh! I knew I’d get in trouble with these questions. Let me say that this is only my personal opinion based on scripture.

There are two camps. One that says, alcohol is not for those of us who follow Christ. Some in this camp say, wine was different in Jesus time, and the wine he made for the wedding wasn’t real wine. That is false, it was the best wine at the wedding according to scripture. I’ve heard that it was Palastine wine and had little or no alcohol. I guess my question with this train of thought is, if it wasn’t alcohol as we know it, then why was Jesus called a wine bibber? In today’s terms it means a person who drinks too much wine.

Camp Two says the bible doesn’t say don’t drink. The bible says don’t get drunk. This is the camp I’m in. Getting drunk impairs your judgment so I believe this is what God was cautioning us about. Free will is something that is important to God and therefore to us. I don’t think we should drink while we work. In fact, the bible says a judge shouldn’t drink while he’s judging. A king shouldn’t drink while he’s leading. It impairs judgement.

So this means that you have to search your own heart to see where you stand. You can’t make doctrine for it so it becomes a matter of opinion. I had a woman tell me once that no one drinks because they like the taste of alcohol, they drink because they want to get drunk. This is not true. I happen to know someone personally who although doesn’t drink but a glass of wine maybe two or three times a year, knows the difference between good wine and not.

Then there are the health studies. Red wine is supposed to be good for your heart if you drink one glass 2 to 3 times a week. Other studies say red wine opens the door to cancer in women. You have to be wise enough to think all these things through for yourself.

I heard a Pastor preach once that if Jesus were alive today, he would walk into a bar, order a beer and try to teach the people in that bar about the kingdom. I have to be honest and say I don’t doubt that and I don’t get hung up on it. He would be reaching for the lost. Does that mean I will be hanging out in bars? Nah, it’s not my thing and I believe in the scripture that says give no appearance of evil. Too many people would judge you without knowledge. Bottom line in this line of thinking is; can you represent Christ and would you take him with you to the places that you go.

Now, just because you become a believer doesn’t mean that if you were an alcoholic you can go back to drinking. You can’t take your liberties at the expense of your health. You also can’t go offending people who do not drink by drinking in front of them. Also, if the religious group you happen to be a part of has a rule of no alcohol, then you agree to their terms and must honor them. Let me know if that really answers your question.

Grateful

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Rodney

My life ain’t that bad. I’m in Texas as I write, so I thought I’d use their vernacular. I am here on unpleasant business. My brother-in-law, my husband’s only sibling has passed away at the age of 39. We are here to attend the services and to attend to my in-laws.

It is in moments like these when you realize how fragile life is. You are handed a measure of days long before you ever existed. The key is to make the most of those days. Rodney Young was a man that when we thought about it, we couldn’t think of a single person who disliked him. Everyone thought he was a good guy. He left behind my nephew Nathaniel who is 12. Nathaniel looks exactly like his father. Rodney was separated from his wife, Tawana, for a couple of years now, yet interestingly enough, they had been talking recently and he died in her mother’s home on a visit to see Tawana and Nathaniel. Life has a way doesn’t it, of teaching us about wasted time?

Rodney had called my husband, the day before he died. Doug had missed the call as we had taken the kids to Six Flags Great America and we didn’t hear it ring. The message was simple, “Hey bro, just calling to check on you and tell you I love you.” Doug called him back later that evening but Rodney didn’t answer. The last message Doug left was, “Tag you’re it. This is my second call to you. Love you.” He never got the chance to answer.

My in-laws are devastated. I have never lost a child but it’s so unnatural to do so, that it is must be a shock to the heart. We all think our child will bury us so it seems out of order. When it happens out of the blue, the reaction is even worse I presume, as there is no time for the brain to prepare.

My brother-in-law was a super nice guy. My husband and he were really close. Doug being the older brother by six years, always looked after his brother. Rodney would call Doug for advice and when they lived in the same town as we did, Rodney would be over our home often.

Today, I am grateful for my life for I don’t know when it will be my final day. I presume to think that I will be an old woman one day, but that may not be the will of God. So we need to live each day to fullest. We need to touch the lives of others. We need to talk to them about Jesus and we need to recognize that when the bible says our lives are but a vapor, it really means just that.

Today I am grateful for my family. I have a good man who calls me his wife and who would swim through shark infested waters to bring me a lemonade. I have my kids , two of whom live on their own, aren’t on the streets and love the Lord. I have a great job that I enjoy and good friends and family. What are you grateful for? Take a good assessment of that. You’ll be glad you did.

Addicted To Chaos

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www.cosmogirl.com
http://www.cosmogirl.com

We all know that person, it’s not any of us reading this today, but we all have that friend……yeah, that’s it, that friend who is addicted to chaos. They aren’t happy unless there is drama. If you ask them how they are, you had better be prepared for the dramatic answer. They are always fighting with their boyfriend because if there isn’t the fear of breaking up at any moment, well then it’s just boring and that boredom may be the thing to break them up. If they aren’t fighting with their spouse and can’t take another minute in their marriage, then life would not be worth living.  Only they’ve been telling you that for 10 years now. If they weren’t in turmoil at work, then they wouldn’t be worthy of a paycheck. If they weren’t gossiping about a friend, then they would have nothing to talk about. They fight with their parents, their friends, their boyfriends or husbands, their co-workers, their children and any other relationship you can think of because, if there isn’t constant chaos then there is no reason for life. They live in constant stress and pressure but this is where they get their kicks. See, just as we get addicted to coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, food, video games, gambling or whatever we can get addicted to  the feeling of chaos. Chaos causes its own sensation of turmoil and worry. If a person addicted to chaos can’t find any in their own life, they’ll produce it. A person addicted to chaos, likes to see things turned up on edge, they get high off that feeling of living on that edge of emotional danger. They SAY they want PEACE but they don’t work towards it, they only work towards stirring the pot. They like for things to be stressful, they feed on that stress like a junkie.Peace makes them nervous.

Peace in your life is a simple way to live. It doesn’t bring all the drama and effect but it’s an easy, more creative way to live. To look at things simply and take moments to breathe is healthy. Doug and I started out our marriage with anything but peace. If I told you that for us it was what we imagine hell would be like, it would be a poor description of how we felt. We had a lot to work out but we did it and we’ve enjoyed our life together since. It’s not without it’s arguments, which Doug says are discussions.We now go weeks without miscommunication and we both love and thrive in the peace. For some people the peace we so love would be the hell we felt in the chaos.

Just as with any addiction you have to decide that you no longer want to live like that. Today, I pray that as you read this blog if there are things that are sticking out to you that make you wonder if you are addicted to chaos or if you are a co-dependent of someone who is addicted to chaos that you make a decision to leave this lifestyle behind. That you decide that this does nothing for you and that you can find peace to live a beautiful life without all the drama.

Finding help to deal with the chaos in your life is a very smart idea. Often there are triggers that you can learn to avoid. Don’t put it off. Believe it or not, living peacefully is easier and will increase your clarity and creativity.

Fat Dumb and Not So Happy

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I was listening to Dr. Oz today on Alzheimers and its correlation to obesity. It seems that according to his radio program about 50% of all Americans over the age of 85 will have this disease. 50%. Half. That number seems incredible. The fact that we are living longer means we want to have more quality of life. 85 when you’re living to be 100 means 15 years of not knowing what is going on in your life.

They are finding that obesity and lack of exercise are a direct link. Bottom line, we’ve got to take more control of our health. We’ve got to know about the hormones that are in our meat. We’ve got to get more concerned about our kids reaching puberty at younger and younger ages. We’ve got to learn to cut back or eliminate soda and processed sugar and dairy. Do you realize what a strong lobby these industries have in Washington? It’s big business to keep you unhealthy!

Meanwhile, I see obese children at younger and younger ages. They break my heart. They wear clothes are way too old for them because nothing in their age group fits and they can’t move the way other children do. Morbid obesity is anyone with a BMI index of 40. We overfeed ourselves, our kids and our pets. Let’s informed and let’s get moving.

Also, don’t let your brain go to mush. Read! Do puzzles, get a hobby, challenge yourself! Let’s be healthy, smart and happy.

Lulu

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I took new pictures of Lu and I love this one!

Lulu the wonder dog
Lulu the wonder dog

I learn a lot from Lulu. She really knows what’s important in her life. She has discovered bottled water. So, each night as she lays at the foot of my bed she eats her treat, then hops down from the bed and pokes me with her paw or nose. When I ask her what she wants she looks at the water bottle on my nightstand, then at her mini-bowl that is by my nightstand. I pour, she drinks. When she has finished her water, she crawls back in bed, cuddles up and goes to sleep. Her needs are very simple. I don’t think she worries about a thing. I need to be more like Lu.

I love how she makes a big deal about little blessings. When she sees the Starbucks sign she begins to howl and drool. You see, she gets a tall cup of whipped cream at each visit. The sign prompts the tail wag, the desperate howl for her treat and instantly she begins to drool. Now, I have to say, I am happy for my Chai tea but she is thrilled for her cup of whipped cream. I need to be more excited about the little things in life.

She loves Jamba Juice too and has learned to sip from a straw. This brings problems as you have to be really careful with your drink. You see, Lu thinks everything should be shared. She sees no problem in taking a sip of your drink. I tried this in reverse as she was chewing on a treat. I asked for a piece and got in her face to get her attention. She stopped chewing and pushing her bone my way and looked me in the eye. I pretended to gnaw on one side and she grabbed the other. No problem to her. She doesn’t seem to care that food will ever run out. She could care less about germs. They aren’t her concern at all. If her treat falls in the dirt, no worries. There are just too many good things to eat in her life and germs are just not a concern. I need to quit worrying about that next meal.

When I lie in bed and it’s hot, Lu doesn’t care. She spreads out on her blanket and puts her hot breath on my shin and goes to sleep. What’s a little shared drool and sweat between friends? She cuddles and loves regardless of the weather. She takes regular naps too. She doesn’t care what is going on in the world. If she is tired, she yawns, stretches, turns three times and lies down. The world can handle an hour or so without her on watch. I need to learn to rest like Lulu.

Lulu can be in the middle of eating a big fat ham bone and she is still excited to see you when you come into view. I really need to learn to go with the flow and not be thrown by an unexpected visit. Lu greets everyone lovingly. Joy, our cat, sometimes plays with Lu, sometimes not. Lu doesn’t care. She approaches her each time she sees her, wagging her tail and sniffing her. If Joy wants to play bonus! If Joy doesn’t want to even look her way, that’s fine too! Lu forgives her mood and always greets her the same way. Lu makes you feel special in her presence as if nothing else matters but you. She wants to hear all about your day and she never gossips or thinks you are just too much work.

They say that humans have an elevated purpose and are more evolved. I’m beginning to wonder if that’s healthy? Lulu seems to be a whole lot less stressed than I am. She seems to be able to go with the flow a lot more than I am. She seems to recognize the blessings in her life more than I do. She is much more forgiving than I am and she seems to be happy just to be. She believes that we have her best interest at heart and she trusts us completely to meet her needs. In return, she gives out love unconditionally! I want to be more like Lu!

Moms Against Hunger

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Dr. Gayla Holley is a wonderful friend to me. She grew up as in Zimbabwe while her parents were missionaries there. She played along-side the children there, was educated there and has a very special place in her heart for the people there. That is her adopted country. You can see the love she has for the people there when she recounts her stories of her childhood. 

Her life has been spent helping others. She is not your average Pastor’s wife dealing with her local church and funding missions. She has made missions her life purpose. This year she started Moms Against Hunger. Her God ordained task is to send food worldwide. With her ministry Role Models Of America she has not only fed, clothed, moved medicine and building materials worldwide, she has been involved in being a first responder to the catastrophes of Hurricane Katrina, Rita and Ike, just to name a few. So she has the experience to get this done.

Currently, she has 150,000 meals ready to ship from La Porte, Texas to Zimbabwe Africa. Zimbabwe has agreed to waive the tariffs. Because of her connections there she has people on the ground that are ready to get this food starving people. The food is purchased and ready to go. She needs $10,000 for transportation costs to get the food there. $10,000 seems like such a huge amount but if each of us gives up our Starbucks or McDonalds meal for the week, we can make this happen. There is a small window of opportunity where the government is being cooperative.

Oasis and TLC are proud to be a small part of getting this food shipped. Can you help? If so, please click on her link above and give your help. If we all do just a little we’ll be able to make a small dent in hunger in the world.

If you aren’t familiar with what is going on in Zimbabwe click here to learn more.

Thanks for all your help and may the Lord richly bless you!

Memories

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http://juliekinnear.com
http://juliekinnear.com

Have you ever wondered how people arrive at their memories? I mean, it would seem quite simple that an event took place and if you were there, your brain stored the events away in a file. That file can be accessed, opened and looked at and therefore, we have a memory of an event.

Only what happens when we are at the same event and I remember it one way and you remember it completely differently? Who is right and how did that memory get so skewed in our minds? This is the detective mode I find myself in when I am counseling someone.

To understand how this is completely normal and how neither party is lying necessarily, we have to understand the brain and how it works. Simply put there are synapses, think of messengers that send information. If we’re to look at it in simple terms, there are all these little messengers that are sending and receiving messages. As with a game of telephone, the story can be altered as it goes from messenger to messenger. Our own past and present experiences can sometimes change actual events to meet our experiences. In other words, if I invited you to coffee and you hate coffee, you may be offended by my offer. You assumed I knew you’d decline the offer because you assumed I knew you hated coffee. Therefore, you see the invitation as half-hearted or insincere because you see it through your perception. So you take an attitude with me and begin to see me as a foe rather than a friend because after all, had I been your friend, I would have never invited you for coffee. Thus, your memory of me is that I am not to be trusted, I am selfish and I am mean. This is how you have processed it. In my mind however, I invited you for coffee and you declined. I have no idea there is an offense and I have no idea that you view me as insensitive. Can you see how problems start?

So while both of our minds think our facts are true, neither is correct. I didn’t pay attention to your distress over the invitation to coffee and you didn’t pay attention to my sincerity in the invitation. This is why when we come to Christ and we decide to live differently than we have in the past, a healing of old wounds must take place.

John 8:32 And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

In order to be truly free we must be free of our preconceived notions. We must allow the restoration of all things to our whole being, body, mind and spirit. When we come to the kingdom old ways of thinking must be laid aside for the higher purpose. We must reconfigure those synapses to relay information without bringing along with it the old thoughts and patterns of the life we used to live.

Hard? You bet! Healing of memories is not an easy task. Those old things are so ingrained in who we are that we actually carry them around like a security blanket. Only just like a toddler, we must wash that blanket, fold it and put it away because it will not serve us well where we are destined to go. You see, you are called to a higher purpose and that purpose actually can’t be completed walking with the pacifier and the security blanket. It requires adult mindset and adult decisions and two free hands to grasp new truth wholeheartedly.

This isn’t a quick fix and doesn’t happen suddenly. We must first look at the possibility that we could be wrong. We need to be honest and decipher our feelings trying to figure out where they came from and why we feel them. We must also learn to not be ruled by our feelings. They aren’t necessarily the truth of what is going on. So, take a look at some of your most recent hurts. What about them look like some of the old hurts you have? What about them seem comfortingly familiar and feel like the security blanket? Now look at some new truths. Those aren’t so comfortable. They are like new shoes, they have to be broken in but they fit you and they look good! You know they are right for you. It’s like taking the training wheels off of a bike. It will require more balance but in the end you’ll be free to ride further and faster than you ever have before.