Category: God

The Pastor’s Wife

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pw-expectations

 

October is the month we have Pastor’s Appreciation Month and I know it’s April, but actually, we need to be praying for our pastors all the time because they have a tough job. While not being physically exhausting most days, it’s mentally challenging and emotionally charged. And while you’re there, pray for his wife too. That’d be me.

Today I woke up with the burden of the Pastor’s wife on my heart. She is in a unique position. She watches her husband from a vantage point that no one else really gets to see. She watches as he walks the line that is unpopular in our culture. She watches as people from the outside presume to know what he is about. She watches as his critics swim like sharks who see chum in the water. Most days, she’s able to pray and walk forward with her day. Other days, she is exhausted at the prospect before the day even gets started. She shares her life with a man who has a calling on his life. It’s not like a job where he can go home and let it go. It follows him everywhere. She watches as he paces the floor in prayer and wonders what the stress is doing to his body.

Yet her life is blessed as she stands secure in the fact that her husband follows the One true desire of her heart, Jesus. She has that in common with him as they move the Kingdom forward. She loves her church family with her whole heart. She rests in knowing that they have placed their trust where she has and that is a big obligation he carries. She understands that although her church needs her, her first duty is to her husband. She knows she must keep him healthy, keep him loved, keep him in her prayers and undergird his desires.

Recently someone said to me that I didn’t understand what she and other women had to go through.  They have been hurt, they had been stabbed in the back and that they have had words spoken over them that they didn’t feel they deserved. I smiled and offered to pray. Inwardly, I wondered what makes her think I don’t go through this stuff? Some of the things a Pastor’s wife is told would make your hair curl. The criticism thrown at her, her children, and her husband would be laughable it it weren’t so painful. Just because she isn’t publicly bleeding doesn’t mean she isn’t wounded. She chooses to suck it up and move forward because the One she follows had a lot of heartache too, but recognized a short time frame when he saw one. Unfortunately, I’ve seen my share of wives get off the ride and decide to do something else because of the stress and pressure on her marriage and her family.

So today, my hat is off to all of you who are married to a Pastor. It’s a blessing to know you. It’s a blessing to pray for you. More importantly, it’s a blessing to be counted among you. I truly love each and everyone of you. May God continue to fashion you into His leading lady.

 

Stay In Your Own Movie

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Drama.

Some people are magnets for it. For the rest of us, we have enough drama in our own lives that we don’t need to go looking for more. I mean honestly, if you wanted a Emmy winning Lifetime movie you could look no further than my own life and I’m sure yours too. We’d have these nail-biting scenes where we wonder if I’ll ever get back into those jeans or not,  these amazing dramatic love scenes, break-ups and tears, and love and passion, then treacherous relationship that would make most soap operas look like amateur hour, and of course those scenes that look like blooper reels. Our own movies would be blockbuster hits!

So what makes us steer our car over to the drama of others and insert ourselves into their scenes? What makes us think we can do better?

EGO

We think somehow their drama is fixable, not like ours of course, because we are professionals. We think if we just share what we know, we can make it all better. Only let’s be real, what is it that we really know?

I love how Oprah does her famous question dramatically, “What’s the one thing you know for sure?” Then her guest look like they didn’t know the question was coming and they have to think about it. Trust me, if I were interviewed by Oprah, I’d know this question is coming up so I already have an answer. Are you ready?

“The one thing I know for sure, is the longer I live, the more I don’t know anything at all.”

But I guess that’s why I probably won’t be interviewed by Oprah. So her guests answer her question with pretty much a version of, “Well, Oprah the one thing I know for sure is that there is a force within us and we will return to that force one day.” And yeah, well I believe that too. Only I call my force Jesus.

EGO- I learned from a Wayne Dyer book that EGO can be an acronym for Edging God Out. In other words, when we come into the scene in rescue mode, often times we play God and none of us is fit to fill that position. Sorry to break it to you, when we act from a place of the mind, what we know, instead of spirit, what we don’t really know but discern from God,  we Edge God Out. I can hear some of you screaming “BUT WHAT IF”. My response is, “Even if”.  Stay in your own movie. Don’t go photo bombing someone else’s scene. Smile, close the door and know that if they will access Jesus they will work out a solution. Give advice when asked but please stay in your own movie.

 

Heaven, Hell and the Suicide Debate

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This question was raised again in my life this week: “How can someone who commits suicide go to heaven?”

What is the difference between a diabetic saint who through poor diet and a refusal of a  lifestyle change, begins to lose limbs and eventually dies, the overweight saint with high cholesterol who eats one more burger to a massive heart attack  which kills them, the careless saint who reads the warning not to step on the top of the ladder and does and falls to her death, or the saint who suffers from major depression? Did they not all take their own life?

We tend to have degrees of suicide or rather, forgivable suicides and unforgivable suicides. Does God have mercy on the obese but not the depressed? Or can we determine that his measuring stick is not ours and that he ultimately decides what he forgives and what he doesn’t?

 

With Every Head Bowed

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WHAT-is-awakening-Intro-by-John-Hall

In churches across this nation there will be a time in the service on Sunday morning when the Pastor will say something like this:

“With every head bowed and every eye closed, if you came here today and you don’t know Jesus as your Lord and Savior and you would like to, would you slip up your hand? I’d like to pray with you.”

Before I continue on my thought process let me say that I’m not indicting the church. I love the church and I believe in her ability. This post is about my working out how this all works and bringing you into my own conversation.

Luke 9:26 For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when He comes in His own glory, and in His Father’s, and of the holy angels.

We bow our heads and close our eyes to give someone the privacy to confess Christ. We don’t want to embarrass anyone or intimidate anyone into not making a decision for Christ. I get the sentiment but how does that fly with the scripture of public confession? If we had to confess in secret when do we proclaim in public? We then hear this:

“Let’s all join our voices with those who are confessing Christ for the first time and repeat this prayer.” What follows is what we church folk call the sinner’s prayer. It’s a good prayer, nothing wrong with the prayer, but we all confess so as not to call out the person receiving Christ for the first time as if it’s a bad thing. Did we tell them this is an every day confession? Did we tell them this was step one? Or did we let them walk away thinking they were good?

Matthew 10:32 “Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven.

We all repeat the sinner’s prayer together. It doesn’t hurt anyone to say the prayer but it does hinder the congregation to know who is receiving Christ for the first time. Which leads me to my main point:

Matthew 28:18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

Who came to Christ for the first time? My head was bowed and my eyes were closed. How do I disciple someone when I don’t know they raised their hand? Then there’s the question; what about conversion? How does conversion happen if I said a prayer in a group and no one told me that there was more to the kingdom and this new lifestyle called Christianity?

I hear so often about those who profess Christ on Sunday but cuss like sailors and live like hell the rest of the week and post all of their nonsense on Social Media and how bad a witness they are. Is that their fault? I don’t always think so. I think they may not know better. I think they may not be in the process of discipleship. I think we may have to cut them some slack until we begin to teach them to observe the things the Word demands of us.

An Uncomfortable Thought

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worship

I first visited my current church in 1999. After coming from a big church with great programs we had moved to a smaller town and therefore a smaller church. Was the word sound? Yes. There wasn’t a band just background music and singers. You had to work to be a part of the congregation. On our third visit there were chastised for sitting in certain seats and told to move and take it up with the pastor if we didn’t like it. We got called into a meeting to ask why we didn’t laugh at jokes.

I asked my husband to please move churches. He said no. He explained that the word was sound and scripture was accurate. Instead, he asked me to look to God and see where I could help and what I could pray for. He assured me that if the Lord prompted us to move we would. I wish I could tell you that I received this well, but I can’t tell you that truthfully. I am eternally grateful for the lesson though.

Now 14 years later here I am. Same place. I love our church. It’s not perfect because we’re human. We have a band now. I wish we had some gospel, but I no longer worry about the music. I just sing. I see people who are trying to love Jesus. I see people who help each other.  They have their pluses and minuses of me as well and it’s more than likely fair. I don’t worry about it. We’re a family. They got me through the death of my husband and loved and judged me through my new marriage. I have done the same with them. Don’t worry, we all repent and get back up and love again. It’s just our flesh. Today, as before, I just see where I can help and see what I can pray for. I look towards the Lord for direction.

Today an uncomfortable thought came as I studied the word.

What if I had my way all those years ago and I had left the church?

That question led to more uncomfortable thoughts:

  • What would I have learned about Spirit guiding spirit? I wouldn’t have. I would have fed myself.
  • What if I decided the Pepto Bismol walls and wallpaper border were just over the top? Well, actually, I did decide they were over the top but what if that had been my measurement of whether to stay or go? By the way, the color was that of the one above.
  • What if I wanted a band like the one I was used to? I would have missed the process of the forming of the band we have now.
  • Would I have learned to love God and love his people? No, I would have learned that this Christianity is about me and what is good for me.
  • What if I had changed churches like I’ve changed diets? Church would have become a fad of what the masses are doing and not what I’m called to do.
  • What would my spirit look like if I only had it my way? I’d be fat, dumb and happy in the flesh, but I would not have learned obedience and comfort are two distinct things and not everything is about me.

I met a friend for lunch. “How’s your church?”, I asked. “It’s not what I’m used to, but until God says move, I’ll stay.” I smiled and reached for her hand, “I understand!”

I have learned through all of this that God is in control. He puts us where he needs us and he doesn’t ask opinions. He expects that when we get to a certain point in our walk with him, that we walk in obedience not always in comfort. So what will you do? Will you stay where you’re at until you’re called to move? Or you will wander, until you get what you want? Will you murmur and complain or will you work to love? I’m praying that you hear him clearly lead you in the direction you are destined to follow.

Breakthough

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yeager16n-1-web

How does a mother know her child is about to breakthrough her body? Her water breaks and the most intense pain on the planet begins.

Chuck Yeager said that just before you breakthrough the sound barrier the cockpit shakes the most.

So is it shaking and quaking and are you living with anticipation and trepidation and revelation? Then you know the breakthrough is coming. Buckle up, smile and give the thumbs up! Your time is now!

Baby, We Can Talk About Anything

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Wedding-Hands

 

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

This scripture was part of our marriage class homework. I read it thoughtfully. Are there any areas of my marriage in which I don’t feel safe bringing up a topic?

You see, the word perfect here doesn’t mean perfect, it actually means mature. Mature love casts out fear. Since we’re works in progress there may be areas of our marriage in which we are not yet perfected. In my marriage I discovered that there isn’t a topic I’m afraid to bring up. BUT there are topics I know will bring about a discussion and raise the heat level.

I love how these truths are revealed with a minuscule of honest thought process. So what about you? Are there areas in your life where there is fear? If so, don’t wait for someone else to deal with it. You need to do the work to deal with it. Perfect the love in your life!

Walking It Out TLC4Women’s New Season

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Heels+Canvas+Wall+Art

TLC4Women is getting ready to start its new year. It’s a special year for us since it’s our Seventh! I can’t tell you how excited I am to be with this group of women and the new ones they will bring to the class.

When TLC first started we started because we wanted a different kind of bible study. One that would bless us as women, teach us the word, and give practical tips to applying principles to our lives to make it better. I wanted a group with a promise. One that said, if you’ll come and study, your life will change. The banner over our ministry was “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” Romans 12:2 so Transforming Life Center was birthed.

On Monday we will all gather to worship, to pray, to set the pace for how walking this life out will look like in the 2013-2014 season. We plan on tackling three big areas this year.

1. What are the weapons of our warfare as women and daughters of the Most High King? Prayer, praise, tenacity, and a strong love of God and his Word.

2. What does it mean to be a disciple and even better what does it mean to make a disciple?

3. Who is the Holy Spirit and how do we keep him at the forefront guarding our steps and making sure we don’t break our ankles?

Prayer, Disciples, Praise, all led by the Holy Spirit and that would be a great year but we have to more to learn. Then we’re going to study the Prophet Malachi. Word for word, verse by verse. Who was he and what can he teach us?

It’s going to be a great year and I can’t wait! See you all on Monday at 7.

Lulu The Wonder Dog

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lu

This is Lulu the Wonder Dog! What makes her so wonderful? Let me count the ways!

She is thrilled to see me every time I walk through the door.

She sticks by my side whether I have something to offer or not.

She loves to go to the office and sleep under my desk.

She loves to snuggle and watch a movie.

She really is the most verbal dog I have ever had.

She is trained and more obedient than any of my children.

She sighs as I do my chores and jumps on the couch and naps and waits patiently for me to finish.

She demands attention when I get distracted. She is known for taking my hands off of the computer with the prodding of her head. She also puts a paw on the computer and gets in my face when she needs attention.

She loves Starbucks as much as I do!

Lulu came to me at a transitional time in my life. She was at a critical time in her life. Near death, I bottled fed her, gave her IV’s, and nursed her back to health. She nursed my soul as I came back to life. She asked no tough questions, she simply gazed into my eyes with understanding. I named her after my daughter Casey who when she was little decided she wanted to be called Lulu. Casey was transitioning into adult life after college and I was having a rough time of it. I needed a reminder of a time.

She was the bridge with our family and reconnected us through her love and her persistence. She was the steady constant one, reminding me that she needed me to look outside of myself to her service. She wasn’t perfect. She ate my favorite pair of heels as a puppy. Had no shame either. She sat on my bed with said shoe in her mouth and chowed down. That’s when I learned to close my closet door.

Now she’s all grown up and still the most active dog I’ve ever had. She never stops. She also is the biggest tattletale I’ve ever seen. She’ll wake me up at 2 am just to get me to come and see that my husband is downstairs making queso dip and watching the military channel and he isn’t sharing. She was great at pointing out the kids weren’t following the no food in their rooms rule because she would discover the stashes of empty cereal bowls.

In this picture we’re driving to deliver a meal to a friend. You can see her smiling. She loves people. In our human understanding we say she is a rescue dog. A puppy from the pound. In her heart she doesn’t see it that way. She rescued us and keeps us all together and happy. That’s what makes her a wonder dog!

Giving in the Smallest Way

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corn

Hosea 10:12 Sow righteousness, reap love. It’s time to till the ready earth, it’s time to dig in with God, Until he arrives with righteousness ripe for harvest.

My husband is a pastor. His role is to attend to the things God has given him. In our yard there is a bird feeder that Doug put up  years ago. I tease him each time he fills it. “Helping God out huh?” He smiles and season after season he puts the bird seed in the feeder. The birds are amazing and you can learn a lot from them. They take only their daily bread. They don’t store for the future, they don’t fight over food. They somehow know they’ll each have enough. I watch them as they eat their meal then fly off and another group stops to grab a bite. It’s entertaining and makes me smile. Our dogs surprisingly ignore their chatter, our cat swishes her tale back and forth menacingly from inside the family room window.

Then one day a corn stalk sprouted. Just like that.  A harvest for faithfulness. Because even when giving in the smallest way, there is the law of sowing and reaping. It’s a principle sent from heaven to rest on earth. There is no getting around it. Whatever word or action you speak will return multiplied.

Sow righteousness and love and may your day reap a plentiful harvest of every good and perfect gift from our Lord today!