Dead or Alive?

August 25, 2014 tlc4womenLeave a comment

Luke 24: 1 Now on the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they, and certain other women with them, came to the tomb bringing the spices which they had prepared. 2 But they found the stone rolled away from the tomb. 3 Then they went in and did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4 And it happened, as they were greatly perplexed about this, that behold, two men stood by them in shining garments. 5 Then, as they were afraid and bowed their faces to the earth, they said to them, “Why do you seek the living among the dead?

I woke up with the sentence in my head :

Why do you seek the living among the dead?

Why do we seek the approval of man instead of Jesus?

Why do we uplift others opinions as fact rather than the words that Jesus spoke over us?

Why do we find our identity in who are friends are?

Why do we seek to glorify ourselves?

Why do we offer up our bodies as sacrifice to artificial love?

Why do we care more about people on Facebook than God?

Why do we care so much about our filtered image on Instagram when this flesh is just a tent?

Why do we speak death instead of life?

Why do we yoke up with worry?

Why do we yoke up with disdain?

Why do we yoke up with gossip?

Why don’t we pray when things are good?

Why don’t we care more?

Why do we not know what is going on in the world?

Why are we not concerned with the political arena?

Why do we dismiss dominion and embrace bondage?

Why do we dismiss self control and embrace victimization?

Why do we make excuses to continue to move, and breathe, and have our being in dead carcasses and not live in a breathing, moving Holy Spirit?

Why not look again into a mirror and see the reflection that can bring us a life worth living eternally?

Why do we continue to seek the living among the dead?

Watered

June 17, 2014June 18, 2014 tlc4womenLeave a comment

This morning I woke up to doves calling on the rooftop of our home. The wind was blowing, the sun was coming up. I opened my eyes and could hear Lulu the Wonder Dog snoring on her bed, my husband was snuggled up in our blue comforter, his hand gently on my arm. The great part about this man of mine is he always needs to know I am there even if it’s just his foot touching mine. I lied still and said “Thank you Jesus”. In this brief moment before treadmills and agendas and meals and real life I am watered in the beauty of the life we have built, in the garden of our Creator. I wake up slowly, grab my gear and head downstairs to start coffee, start a load of laundry and get on the treadmill. If this were the sum of the good in my life, I am blessed.

I have lived in this little town for 20 years now. I have deep friendships, favorite places to go, neighbors whose names I know, clerks at the grocery store whom I know by name. I am part of this community. The community however didn’t come out to embrace me, I had to embrace my community.

Yes, we don’t have a lot of services that many bigger cities have. Yes, we are in the poorest county of California. Yes, we have a huge disparity between the haves and the have nots but what are those things to someone who can make a difference? I have a choice to make each day. I can choose to move forward and make a difference, or shut my curtains and complain. Face it, even in this town, we suffer in luxury. I can choose to water, or I can drink it all and not share it. My choice.

I remember when I first moved here. I loved the amount of house I could afford on my salary. Yes, there would be an almost 2 hour commute one way but what did that matter? I was going to own a home. The reality of that quickly set in but we muddled through and our neighbors helped. In no time I had people who I could count on to help in a pinch.

My children were raised here and they are people of good character. They have been shaped by a community who took care of their children. I heard a story a friend told recently about how the bus driver would tell her parents when she didn’t get on the bus for school, after her parents had sent her to school. These are things we can count on when we live in close proximity. Yes, sometimes that ‘everybody knows everything’ attitude can be annoying but it can save lives as well. Small town living is not for everyone. Some people complain daily about their plight.

My husband tells a story of an old dog on a porch howling in pain. A man walks up to the dog and says, “Why are you howling? How can I help you?” The dog says, “I’m sitting on a nail and it’s stabbing my side.” The man says, “Why don’t you get up and move?” The dog answers, “It’s easier to sit here and howl.”

I live in a small town with many people who enjoy living here. I am well watered in this field. If I didn’t like living here I would move. I am not a victim. No one twisted my arm to live here. I am not a tree and I can move if I’m unhappy.

Despite It All

June 2, 2014 tlc4women1 Comment

Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy–meditate on these things.

I read a post on Facebook recently how happy posts were fake because people chose to post that their lives were good despite the fact that they had real problems. It made me think about how you can still be happy and positive despite difficulties, or you can judge others in your unhappiness. Not everything in life has to be a major catastrophe to your well-being.

I am in a really happy place right now. I’m sure my life, speech, and yes, Facebook posts show that. It took me a long time to get here and I am relishing in it. I was a pregnant teen who raised children to the age of 48. I had never had an adult life where it was just me. I had never written out a monthly budget that didn’t include children’s lunch or field trip money, a college fund savings, or a extensive food budget. I can leave home on a moment’s notice and not worry about babysitters or dinner. I can clean my kitchen spotless and know when I get up in the morning it’s going to be exactly how I left it. I can turn the music on as loud as I want to and dance without fear of someone saying, “Mom! Stop! It’s so embarrassing when you act like a kid.” I can buy tickets to a concert or a play and not worry about what is being taken out of the budget.

I have a man who loves me beyond measure and is close by my side. We like the same things and we very rarely even argue these days. It’s a peaceful season in our life. My job is going well. I have a lot to do but I’m no longer so driven towards it. I am enjoying the work that I do at a new level. I have a dog that I think is incredible, she is pure love and she is a total spas, who I think has the Young’s A.D.D. problem.

Do I have problems? OF COURSE I DO!! Everyone does. My problems big and small have always been there, not the same ones but isn’t there always something? I’d be lying if I said I don’t sometimes miss being a mommy. Sure, I like the freedom, but there are those days I want to watch Sleeping Beauty with the Princess Casey. The great thing is my age and life experiences have put them in perspective. They no longer rule my every thought. I’ve learned to be content. If you want to learn to be happy, click here for an article I found profoundly useful.

Here’s the problem with judging the heart of someone and determining their motives; you aren’t always right. A person can be happy in the midst of pain. A person can be upbeat even in the midst of chaos. Happiness is a choice. Be depressed, angry, resentful, or petty, if you choose to be, but don’t expect that everyone else will be. It’s entirely up to you. As for me, I’m going to live out this last little bit of life in happiness, I’m going to let go and plunge into the deep things of life and experience freedom, despite it all.

The Life Of Party

May 28, 2014June 1, 2014 tlc4womenLeave a comment

You know the type, they walk into a room full of strangers with a smile. For them, this is a chance to make 100 new besties.

Yeah that’s not me.

I am friendly but I am not the life of the party. Even as a kid I would select a friend or two to play with. I wasn’t aloof, I joined clubs, participated in school plays but you’d never see me as the actor. I’d be narrator or the director off to the side.

Some filter this behavior as anti-social and therefore label it as stuck up. It isn’t stuck up at all though. I am just not the life of the party. I am an observer. I am the one who if I am having a dinner party, I cheat and stack the deck. I invite those who will carry the conversation along. In other words, I invite the host or hostess to my party and make sure they have everything they need.

These days it’s my friend Vikki. Vikki will talk to anyone. She and her husband Alec will mingle and make sure everyone has a touch. Vikki will also entertain me by coming around and making comments to me like she’s talking about someone else. For example, Vikki will say: “Whew! Vikki is sweating over here.” or “Vikki thinks you should have served more fruit.” She says it in a sing/song voice which always makes me laugh so in essence she even hosts me at my own party. It works.

I will, on the other hand, find that one person sitting alone and go make a conversation. I’m good at the one on one.

The stretch for me is walking into a crowd and going and shaking hands and introducing myself and making small talk. So now picture my life. I’m on staff as a pastor at a church with about 250 people each Sunday on average. This is where I found myself in a lesson last week.

My devotional that week was this scripture:

Matthew 14:13 When Jesus heard it, He departed from there by boat to a deserted place by Himself. But when the multitudes heard it, they followed Him on foot from the cities. 14 And when Jesus went out He saw a great multitude; and He was moved with compassion for them, and healed their sick. 15 When it was evening, His disciples came to Him, saying, “This is a deserted place, and the hour is already late. Send the multitudes away, that they may go into the villages and buy themselves food.” 16 But Jesus said to them, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.” 17 And they said to Him, “We have here only five loaves and two fish.”

So the question becomes what do you do when you’re called out of your comfort zone and don’t have the tools? You trust Jesus and stretch and go to work. I can teach a class, I can lead a meeting but it’s not natural. It’s the 10,000 hours that you put in to a skill to have mastery. It’s not that you’re that good, it’s that you’ve practiced enough to make it.

Look Up

May 12, 2014May 10, 2014 tlc4womenLeave a comment

When you can’t see another horizon you settle for current conditions. ~ Rick Hawkins

Why dear one are you starving? Lost in your depressed living under circumstances you were never born to be under? Have you forgotten the will of your Father that you are more than a conqueror, that you command angels who ascend and descend with prayers and petitions and answers and responses upon Jacob’s ladder, the one and only Jesus Christ?

Why are you beneath your circumstances once again oh Church of the Most High King, when Jesus clearly stated that the gates of hell would never prevail against His church? Yes, you were told that you would be persecuted and suffer but what has got you down? Did you forget that you are told you would never be abandoned? Have you forgotten the words of your Father?

Oh, I know what ails you today. Judah plows the ground in which the seed of promise is sown. You’ve not worshiped with anointing and intensity. You’ve not sought out your deliverer. You say you know where your help comes from, yet you persist to try to make it work by your own hand. Some things are better fought through the praise of the present help in times of trouble.

Look up dear one, there is provision coming. It will look like a battle but don’t grow weary because you will succeed.

Numbers 23:24 Look, a people rises like a lioness, And lifts itself up like a lion; It shall not lie down until it devours the prey, And drinks the blood of the slain.”

A lioness works in a team, with eyes that light up the darkest night and she successfully devours her prey and brings the spoils home to her den. Sometimes when it seems as if there is no provision it is merely lurking in the tall grass. Stop grasping at what you think should be coming your way and free your hands, still your mind, and look out into the darkness for provision is coming but you will have to move from your current state of depression.

Deuteronomy 20:3 And he shall say to them, ‘Hear, O Israel: Today you are on the verge of battle with your enemies. Do not let your heart faint, do not be afraid, and do not tremble or be terrified because of them; 4 for the Lord your God is He who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you.’

You are made strong in your weakness when you have decided to relinquish what you thought you’d captured on your own because you see, it has merely captured you. A mirage, it looked like an answer in the middle of the desert, but it only proved to ensnare you in the trap of a gerbil wheel.

Look up to the horizon. It is fresh everyday and with it comes new challenges, yes, but also new blessings. Free yourself of the entanglement that the world tells you need and refuse to settle for anything less that what has been promised. Awaken from your deep slumber, awaken and look around. There is much awaiting you. Although right now it looks like a little cloud off in the distance that will not yield much, it is more than enough to water the seed of praise in your heart and to break every chain of bondage over your life.

2 Corinthians 4: 7 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed–

We will prevail.

Rights and Responsibilities

May 9, 2014May 9, 2014 tlc4womenLeave a comment

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven.” —John Milton

John Milton was on to something with this thought process. So often in our attempt to control and manipulate we think we know what we really don’t know. This is nothing new, it’s been this way since the beginning of time.

Genesis 1:26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

You were made in the image of God so why are you struggling with the opinion of man? I never see God struggle with the opinion of man. God knows he’s God. You were created in His image. You are the manifestation of that image on the earth. We are kings of a King.

Yet, there is this allowance of opinion that infiltrates our mind, causing such an uproar to our lives. Often times, religious types are quick to judge that which they haven’t yet accepted authority over as a fact in their own life, thereby projecting their fear on us. Only we must remember that we were made in the image of God. I don’t see where God worried, or feared anything. Instead he took charge over it. Hell was not ever breaking loose in God’s realm and neither does it have authority in our realm. Unless we give it room to play. Why do we believe the opinion of man when it doesn’t mirror the opinion of God? Because we haven’t yet consulted our owner’s manual to find out how things work.

If you live for the approval of others you will die by their rejection. ~ Rick Warren

The kingdom of Heaven is not something that we are waiting for. It is something within you that is creating positive changes in your environment. It should be bearing fruit. So often there are hearers of the word of God who run around telling others how to live their lives but because they lack the ability to be doers of the word, there is nothing solid on which to build a foundation. When you listen to a voice who tells you are doing things wrong, first check to see if their lives are bearing the fruit of the word?

I know people who say they are followers of Christ but they have a bad reputation among the people. My husband is from Louisiana so he’s says things in a southern way, he says, “broke, busted, and can’t be trusted.” They talk a good game but it avails them nothing as there is no fruit that is worth eating on their tree. They are in violation of the third commandment of taking the Lord’s name in vain. Yet, they project their fears and ungodly opinions on others. What makes us take their word as having any value at all?

I know others who quietly live out their faith in little acts of authority and obedience that produce great results of winning others to God. They took their commission seriously and are making disciples. Want to know their secret? They are disciples. You can’t lead someone to discipleship if you refuse to be a disciple.

So what are your rights and responsibilities as kings of a King? You have a right to live freely among men and you have a responsibility to represent your King admirably, allowing his definition of you be the last word. You have a right to bind those things on earth that are not of God and you have a responsibility to loose those things on earth that produce kingdom results.

Parents Shouldn’t Be A Financial Burden

April 21, 2014April 20, 2014 tlc4womenLeave a comment

Proverbs 13:22A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, But the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous.

We’re a nation of consumers and that isn’t news nor is it going away. Reverse mortgages, check-cashing loans, credit card debt are rampant means of getting extra cash. Gone are the days in which we live within our means.

Have we stopped to consider our children in these situations?

Your average 21 year old comes out of college with a debt of $32,000 in student loans and $4,000 in credit card debt, according to the Dave Ramsey crew. How is that student going to pay that off when an entry level job isn’t going to pay anywhere near the money it will take to make a dent in that amount? As parents if we are not set up to help take care of these costs, we must rely on loans, grandparents, and family members to foot the bill.

With these statistics it is imperative that we should not take from our children nor be a burden to them. We need to begin wherever we are to save for our child’s education and their future. My godmother and I were talking recently and she said to me that as soon as I find out I am having a grandchild, I am to put $20 per week aside for that child’s future. So that ends up being about $20,000 with just simple interest. if I invested it, it would be more.

Do we even comprehend that $20 is one fast food meal skipped per week?

I don’t profess to be a saver. I love a sale as much as anyone, but we have an emergency fund and funds set aside for our future. I don’t want to be a burden to my kids. The bible says we aren’t supposed to be. Could it be that this is why the Lord makes such archaic statements in the bible?

Save! Don’t consume all that you have.

Proverbs 21:20 There is desirable treasure, And oil in the dwelling of the wise, But a foolish man squanders it.

Give freely but don’t be a borrower.

Psalm 37:21 The wicked borrows and does not repay, But the righteous shows mercy and gives.

We have to set this thing up better for the next generation or they won’t be afforded the life we were. We have to begin to look at the consequences of the whole picture and not look at what feels good right now. We love our children, and I believe that we do love our children, but are we looking out for them or are looking out for ourselves? Are we leaving them with a legacy of slavery to a system and a life of indebtedness or are we teaching practical principles like delayed gratification? We have got to do better for our next generation. Setbacks happen to everyone but there is a difference between a person who can’t recover and one who won’t.

Work and savings aren’t ugly words. My grandfather worked three jobs to give his kids a leg up. My parents both worked to give us an education. We worked to give our kids the things they needed. We didn’t always have new stuff but we had what we needed and we didn’t work a system, we worked to be free to make decisions.

Happy Anniversary!

April 16, 2014 tlc4womenLeave a comment

In just a few days my son, Anthony, and his wife will celebrate their second anniversary. For those of you with young children it’s never too early to begin to pray for your child’s spouse. You know your child’s strengths and weaknesses better than anyone and you also have lived a little and know the characteristics of the person who will compliment them. So today I’m sharing a prayer that I prayed for my son for many years before Frances came true. Click Here.

Happy Anniversary! I love you both!

Infallible Hero

April 11, 2014April 11, 2014 tlc4womenLeave a comment

Recently at a bible study someone dared to say that one of our beloved bible heroes acted like a spoiled brat. The women immediately were up in arms. Bible heroes are heroes and therefore we overlook their flaws and make them somewhat godlike, but come on, truth is truth, and it’s actually beneficial to see the real person in the scheme of the heroic act.

You all know I am a huge Dr. Laura fan. I’ve been listening to her for almost 30 years. So it was no wonder that I imagined Jacob calling into the radio program as I studied the life of Joseph. As he gives Dr. Laura the background we hear, Jacob is in love with Rachel, but marries her sister Leah and has a tribe of kids with her because Rachel can’t get pregnant, even though (Dr. Laura gets impatient with these words) he doesn’t love Leah. Finally Rachel has a son named Joseph and the bible tells us Joseph is Jacob’s favorite kid. Joseph, as a teen, has a dream that one day his older brothers will bow down to him. Joseph, dressed in this flashy coat, goes out to the field to tell his brothers about his dream. Now right about here is where I’m thinking this is one dysfunctional family. So Joseph’s brothers take Joseph out on a walk and lose him and then go back home and tell their dad he was killed.

So I can hear Dr. Laura saying to Jacob, “What the hell were you thinking was going to happen?” At which point I usually think to myself and take a deep breath, “Buddy, do you ever listen to this program?”

You can actually do this with all the bible heroes. Moses’ parents and Dr. Laura, “Don’t have them if you won’t raise them.” Then to Pharoah’s daughter: “Give this child to an intact, two-parent home. Adopt an older child.”

To David’s parents: “I know you’re trying to raise your boy to be a man, but sending him out to places alone where he has to fight a bear? What the hell are you thinking?!”

Parts of these stories look so heroic that it’s easy to overlook the dysfunction they went through as children and only see the good these men did with God at their side. It’s easy to then say we have too much to overcome to get to a spot of actually making a difference but the bible shows us these thoughts are merely excuses. Everyone has stuff to overcome. The difference is in those who will do something despite their circumstances, and those who will wallow.

Which will you be? A Hero or Victim? It’s interesting, every Comic Hero that I can think of had a crazy childhood only to come out victorious. So what’s holding you back? You aren’t any different. Go out and do something heroic with your life. Teach a child to be a person of character, go out and feed some homeless people, go out and teach a class or coach a sport. Make a difference. The world is waiting for your gift.

I Want To Marry You

April 7, 2014April 5, 2014 tlc4women2 Comments

The most precious thing you have in your life is time.

You can’t get moments back. You have to make sure that your life is heading in the direction of forward progress toward your goals.

I recently spoke to a woman who has dated her boyfriend for five years. She wants a ring. Her boyfriend is happy with the way things are. He’s not in a rush and says it will happen ‘one day’. This causes an argument. So I asked her why she was waiting and why she thought he was THE ONE.

She loves him.

She sees herself driving his kids around in a minivan.

He has a good job.

He loves God.

They have a lot in common.

They love jogging together after work.

They attend the same church.

Their families get along.

They believe the same things.

WAIT!!!!! WAIT!!!! WAIT!!!!

I had to stop her right there.

They have a ton of stuff in common. They love to talk to each other. They love to spend time together, and although all that is true, I have no reason to believe she is lying to herself or to me, they aren’t heading to the same place. You see, even though they have lots of things in common, they are not headed in the same direction. Even though they love each other, their destination is different. She wants marriage, he still hasn’t figured out he needs a wife. She can whine, stomp her feet, and give him an ultimatum and he may cave, but they both will know they manipulated a situation and that is no way to live.

Neither of them is a bad person. Neither of them is wrong. The only problem here, and it’s the deal breaker, is they don’t have commonality in the goal. So this relationship needs to end. Why? Because all we have is time and wasting it in the push and pull of trying to get someone to go your way, only delays your destiny to find the person who really is the one for you.

I once heard Bishop T.D. Jakes say about letting go of relationships, “Don’t abort the future on the altar of your past.” This isn’t just good advice in a romantic relationship. This addresses all relationships. Not everyone is going with you and you’re not going with everyone no matter how much we love them and how much it hurts to part. There are people in your life with whom you are at a fork in the road with and some are going your way, and others aren’t, don’t change your destiny in a compromise. The misdirection will waste time and cause resentment over time.

Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, unless they are agreed. NKJV

No one is evil, it’s just that their destiny is parting from yours. You never know if this is a forever thing, or for a period of time, in either case, choose God’s will rather than yours. In time, you’ll see why it wasn’t meant to be.