Category: God

In Someone’s Shoes….

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Monday morning not long after my shower and rush to get on the road to get home from a business trip, I received a text that frustrated me. Someone was trying to take advantage of a kindness I had extended and I began to complain to my husband. Calm man that he is, he said, “Don’t let it ruin it your day. People are people.” “What?!!”, I replied, “It already has ruined my day, how does someone do this? Really? Come on!” I stomped around texting replies and working remotely.

We checked out of our room and headed for valet to wait for our vehicle. A man was looking at us as we handed the valet our ticket and waited for our vehicle. The man turned to face us several times. I was texting as the day was getting started at the office and there were many details to handle between the store and the office. Monday’s are hectic to say the least. Finally, the man stuck up a conversation. He said, “Good Morning! Where are you from?” My husband said casually, “By Fresno.” The man said, “Oh me too!” My husband then said, “Are you here on vacation?” And what unfolded was a God thing.

The man said his wife had terminal cancer. Her doctors had done all that they could do. She had three to six months left to live and they had used up a month of that. They were in town to see a doctor who was going to administer an experimental drug on her. It would not save her life but it may be save the lives of others.

I felt such compassion. I asked the man if the drugs would prolong her life? He replied no, in fact they may kill her, but he repeated, they may save someone else. Wow! What do you say about that kind of compassion? What do you say about that kind of love? All that was left to say was what I said, “We’re Christians, can we pray with you?” He extended his hand out and said, “Please do”. I grabbed his hand fiercely and prayed for mercy and for strength for he and his wife. What else to say? In that moment his car pulled up. I asked him his name as he walked toward his vehicle so I could continue to pray for him.

His wife came through the doors of the hotel shortly after. She was frail and oh so sickly looking and walking so slowly. I smiled at her from where I stood. What a hero she is. Instead of going home to quietly die and make the most of her days left on earth, she was going to donate her body to science while still alive, to see if maybe someone could be spared her pain.

I don’t know why God chose to bless me with this lesson. All I can tell you is that my day wasn’t ruined. My day, despite its trial, was blessed beyond measure. I was not watching my spouse die. I was not dying. I was merely dealing with an annoyance. Funny how minutes ago it was so important. I guess until you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes your bad looks worse than it is.

So whatever you’re going through, think about this couple, then say a prayer for them. I don’t want to post their names in this blog out of respect for them but I know that God knows who you’re praying for. Then, with what’s left, say a prayer of gratitude and be content. It could be a great deal worse.

Easter and A Wedding

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In two weeks my son gets married. Emotions flood over me today as I realize, it’s not just abstract planning but a marriage.

I said today that this man is getting married but all I see is my son. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is prepared for this marriage. He’s grown up, he’s in love with the woman of his dreams and most importantly he loves God and has a plan for his life in Him. All great things. He is ready, he is in love and he is purposed. I’m proud of him and extremely happy for him. This is a great time for a family.

Yet, all I see is my son. The quiet spirit I held in my body, then my arms. The arrow of my quiver whom I launched into the universe to succeed. And he has. He has put his hand in the Master of the Universe and followed The Way.

But that’s two weeks away, tomorrow we celebrate Easter. The time we choose to celebrate that Jesus was resurrected. He defeated, death, hell, and the grave. What a week! One day they’re crying Hosanna and laying their clothing down for him to walk on and the next they’re slapping his face and if that wasn’t bad enough they crucify him. Up on the cross, with his friends scattered in hiding, his mother watching the scene along with John and Mary.

Today my heart goes out to Mary. I recognize her mother’s heart. How hard it must have been to see. She had no earthy understanding of what was to be, she had to reference. She knew her son was destined for greatness, but what was this that he had to endure? What torture her heart must have been in. A woman who had said yes to God and had given birth to her savior, with full expectation of blessing, but all she saw now was her son in torture. A woman who had trusted a word long ago, but all she saw now was body that now needed to be buried, and gone were her hopes and dreams of a wedding, grandchildren and the simple hug that only her son can give.

Yet almost two months later, we see her waiting patiently in an upper room for the One whom her son promised to send. Her deliverer, her promise, her first born, the one who others called Master and Rabbi and traitor and worse. Yet all she saw was her son.

I am rejoicing that in a couple of weeks my son enters a new level of his life, a new chapter. He will be married among his friends and take a beautiful wife on a beautiful honeymoon. They will arrive home and begin to live together as one. It’s exciting, and I feel beyond blessed. I am one of the blessed moms. Yet, Mary, my heart turns to you and my eyes fill with tears because I don’t know that I would ever have had the fortitude to endure what you had to endure.

Will The Real Parents Please Stand Up

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I have noticed a phenomenon that is happening in our society that I’d like to explore with you over the next few posts. I notice that we excuse our children’s behavior all the time for whatever reason. Some of our youth are on Facebook and we’re friends, so I read the news feed some of the posts were way out of line. Now, keep in mind, I am not a prude in any way, shape, or form, but some stuff was just not what I would want to have my kids writing on a public forum. I spoke to the youth and their parents. Their parents quickly went on the defense. Here are some of the responses:

Aren’t these pages a form of their private expression? Uh, NO! The Internet is so wide open that privacy and Internet are not words that even go together.

Aren’t these pages just for kids? Well, if they are, then why do I have access? Have you read the papers or turned on a TV in the last century? There are predators out there.

He didn’t do it; it was a friend of his who wrote it. So when it was discovered why wasn’t it removed?

There is a lot of pressure out there and she just wants to fit in. So in her circles of influence fitting in means what exactly?

Pastor Susan you are funny of course not but you know! No, I really don’t.

Not one, not one single parent, reacted in shock or surprise and went to change things for their child. This child’s reputation is harmed and the results in a small town are devastating.  I read recently that Facebook is checked in consideration of college admission. So a post can be damaging on so many levels.

I am not just picking on anyone either. These parents are just a reflection of the rest of our society. Parents just either don’t know what to do or don’t want to be bothered. I think the greatest failure in America is that we decided we were our children’s friends. The problem with that thought process is that we aren’t. Or what I should say is, that we weren’t designed to be. We were called to be parents.

1 Corinthians 4:15 There are a lot of people around who can’t wait to tell you what you’ve done wrong, but there aren’t many fathers willing to take the time and effort to help you grow up. It was as Jesus helped me proclaim God’s Message to you that I became your father.

You know what? They won’t find their own way through life. You’ve got to lead them in the way you’d like for them to go if you want them to be successful. Children have lots of friends but only one set of parents.

Ethos

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byu.org

Ethos is defined as the fundamental character or spirit of a culture; the underlying sentiment that informs the beliefs, customs, or practices of a group or society;

Understanding the definition of ethos, we can see that our family has an ethos, our workplace has an ethos, our schools have an ethos, our church has an ethos, our society has an ethos, and we as individuals have an ethos as well. In an ideal environment all of these groups would have similar characteristics and would function well together but in reality, sometimes they function quite differently and contrary to each other. The question I pose today is where do we as individuals stand in these ever-changing environments? Do we conform to the pattern of this world or do we stay true to what we know is right? Do we even know what is right?

The bible speaks to us about what God deems right and wrong, and while we Amen in the ethos of our church culture, we also Amen in the ethos of our work and home environment, even when the two don’t always intersect. This confusion stagnates our growth, compromises our beliefs and ultimately destroys our soul.

It is then no wonder that people laugh at followers of Christ and don’t follow Christ because of us. We set fire to an abortion clinic rather than get on our knees and pray, or better yet, help fund single mothers, and yet when it’s our unmarried daughter who is pregnant suddenly abortion is a possibility. We rant about the sin of homosexuality, all the while having sex outside the confines of marriage. We cry out against same sex marriage, yet do not uphold the sanctity of marriage simply by staying married. What we say and what we do don’t match up and we aren’t hiding it well.

When we decide that our ethos is going to take on the character and culture of Christ, there will inevitably be a consistency in the culture in which we live. When we decide that love is the banner under which we live, and that there is no room for anything else, our culture will change. Not without a fight, because it’s never as easy as it seems. Our home, our desk or our hammer, our opinions, can and will truly serve God once that decision has been made. We may be the only ones in our environment who walk it out but walk it out anyway. Eventually, someone will notice. The things of the world that easily ensnare us will no longer have a hold on us. Ethos describes our code of conduct. It refers not only to our community but our individuality as well and if we want things to change it must begin within ourselves first.

The church I serve in requires leadership to read and grow and learn. It’s not enough to hear a sermon preached on Sunday, we are challenged to find out if our Pastor was telling the truth. The most consistent comment I hear from members is that they have learned more in the time they have spent with us than in their entire walk as Christians. Why? Is it because we’re so dynamic as teachers? Not even close. The reason is that we give them the responsibility to work out their own salvation on their terms. They do not get invited to form the ethos of our church if they are not already breathing, eating, and living our belief system. Forget faking it, it comes out in the end.

My challenge to you today is study out your environment. What do the things you allow in your home say about your belief in God? Are you consistently the same person at work, home, with friends, at church? Do you dictate the ethos with your behavior or do you allow the ethos to dictate your behavior?

Enchanting

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For our first wedding anniversary I asked my husband what he wanted to do. Not being a planner he left it for me to plan a trip. I decided we’d go Mendocino for a few days. Mendocino, if you’ve never been, is a beautiful place here in California on the northern coast. We chose a beautiful hotel called Little River Inn and I booked our room in Coombs Cottage for a few nights and made reservations for a romantic dinner the night of our arrival. Our first anniversary fell on a Sunday so I told my husband we’d have to leave immediately after church to get there in time for our dinner. I even suggested he pack on Friday and Saturday to be ready to go. I got the babysitter here at the house at noon and was ready to go!

My husband unfortunately, was not ready to go as he had not packed and was not ready to go at all. He said, “Give me an hour and we’ll be out of here!” No problem even if we leave by 1-1:30 we’ll make it for our special dinner. 1:00 rolls around, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and my romantic dinner is history and since cancellation had to be made 24 hours in advance I am stuck paying for a dinner we will never get to eat. I am pretty mad at this point and I am lying on the bed reading a book. He on the other hand, is checking his email, talking on the phone, packing and just hanging out. He is making it very obvious he could care less if he goes or stays.

I fall asleep around 6ish while reading a book when the Lord wakes me up with a question. He says, “Do you love your husband?” Thinking he’s got to be kidding I answer, “Right this moment?” He replies, “Yes, right now do you love him?” “Yes, though I am totally frustrated with him. He didn’t help me plan this and so now he is being passive aggressive and all my plans are out the window, some first wedding anniversary.” The Lord said, “Why do you love him?” I answer, “I don’t know, because I’m a glutton for punishment? I don’t know. I can’t think why right now.” His gentle voice responds, “In the same way that you love him, I love you even when you miss a deadline, or frustrate me or disappoint me. I take great delight in you because you are irresistible to me, inexplicably irresistible.” “Thanks, I love you too”, I answered. Still hopeful for some sort of revenge I ask, “Can you just zap him now to show me how much you love me?” Silence “Okay, just kidding. Thanks for the reminder.”

We ended up only staying one night. It was beautiful though, the waves of the Pacific ocean out the french doors in the front of our cabin and a beautiful forest and golf course was the view out of the back of the cottage. We played golf the day we were there and ate a nice meal in a local restaurant and came home. My plans had been about a few days of fun and relaxation but plans change. It was disappointing, not the wedding anniversary I had envisioned but I still love him anyway.

These are just the details of a story that happened a long time ago, but the bigger picture is that God loves you in such a beautiful way. Just as a woman loves a man, just as a parent loves their child. You are inexplicably irresistible to the Lord, and he sees you with eyes of great delight and joy. He finds you enchanting. Even when you frustrate his most carefully laid out plans.

The Woman Who Is To Be My Daughter-In-Law

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She may not know this, but I have been praying for her for years now.

She would have be patient as my son has a dominant Phlegmatic temperament. She’d have to be consistent and not one to change her mind often, and she’d have to be confident as Phlegmatics tend to be passive aggressive at times and this would be something to overcome.

I prayed that she would love the Lord as much as my son did. He has been called to ministry and he loves Jesus with his whole being. He loves seeing people come to Christ and he is active and involved in his church. I prayed for a good help meet.

I prayed she would be faithful. This legacy of divorce that hounds our family needs to end. I drew a line in the sand once I got saved and asked the Lord to change the path for our family to the thousandth generation.

I prayed she would be kind. Of course a mother prays for that quality in her children’s mates, as they will lead her grandchildren, and I want them led well.

I prayed she would be educated. My son loves politics, and books, and news, and sports. She’ll have to be well-rounded and able to hold her own convictions during conversations that often turn into deep discussions.

I prayed that love would overshadow the trials that come naturally when two dwell together. I prayed love would be enough, even when it wasn’t. I pray even now, that they both remember the love they have for one another always.

I prayed she loved video games a little less than he does.

I prayed she would want children and want to raise them, not hand them over to daycare.

I prayed she’d be a good fit for our family and be family oriented. Not one who wants to set the family apart but one that wants to be a part of ours.

I prayed she was sensible and not be prone to unreasonable arguments and drama. I prayed she wouldn’t come on the scene too soon, so that he would recognize her and his need for her.

I prayed she’d be practical and they would be able to work as a team towards common goals.

I prayed she’d have her own interests and friends, I didn’t want them to have conflicts in this area and I didn’t want either of them stuck at home while the other was out and about.

I prayed she was respectful and had a great sense of humor. I prayed she would laugh at the contradictions of who my son is. His quirky habits and sense of humor.

I prayed she’d overlook his faults and his mother. Maybe that should have been at the top of my list.

In less than two months, my son will marry his bride. My heart is filled with the goodness of God. He has given me my heart’s desire and more. Frances is beautiful, brilliant, and loved by us. She hasn’t had a bit of bridezilla attitude and she seems genuinely happy to be with my son. That’s really all I could ask for. Now that the wedding is at hand, I will begin praying for their marriage all the while praising the Lord for his mercy and grace on my life! We are a blessed family.

Love Is In The Air

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February brings Valentine’s Day. For many people it’s a day created by commercialism. A day for the purchase of roses, cards, dinners, candy, and stuffed animals. For others it’s a depressing day of one too many rejections, subpar relationships and and unrealistic expectations. Still for others, it’s a way of life, not a day lived out once a year but a love banner to be played out over their lives.

The bible reminds us that we need to practice Agape love. Love without expectation or condition. Love that merely loves for the sake of love. For humans it seems so unattainable. In a world that does for others according to what they themselves are getting, it seems counter-intuitive to do any more than what is being done for us. Yet, if we would put forth the effort of extravagant love, God love, we’d obtain exactly what we thought we’d been missing. Agape love is above feelings. Agape love even loves the unlovable. As followers of Christ it is our duty to love one another even when it looks seemingly impossible.

Can you find it in your heart to love without reason? To simply love another human being because that is the expectation and the law that God has placed before those of us who follow Christ? Can we love because God loves us and put aside the warmies we expect to get when love happens? Can we find a place where we have no expectation of getting anything other than the satisfaction of knowing we loved when we didn’t have to?

Who Is This?

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Whenever my mom calls and she gets my voicemail, her message usually goes something like this; “Susie, this is your mother. I’m just calling to check on you. Call me when you get a chance.” This always makes me laugh because her voice is the first voice I ever recognized in my life, how could I think it was someone else? I know her voice. I never ask another person who calls, “Mom? Is that you?” Never. I know her voice.

So how do we know when we hear the voice of God? The answer is simply found in:

John 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, I know them, and they follow Me.

Just as I know my mother’s voice those who are part of the flock of the Lord know His voice and another they will not follow. It requires intimacy. It requires relationship. It requires lots of conversations over time. You can be so entwined with the Lord that you begin to see His cue without His ever having to utter a sound. Relationship is what we were created for.

So give Him a call today, just to see how things are going. You’ll find that the more time you spend with him, the more you’ll recognize his voice and you won’t have to wonder, “God is that you?”