Mislabeled Christianity.

Elizabeth McCann
Elizabeth McCann

My friend Elizabeth was cooking and pulled a can of green beans out of her cupboard. When she opened it she found a surprise. The outside didn’t match the inside.

Matthew 7:16 By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus, by their fruit you will recognize them.

When I saw the picture I had two instant thoughts. “Man! I hope she had another can or she’s going to have to figure out what to do last minute to make the meal all come together.” The second thought was, “This is why people are so freaked out by us who follow Christ. We put on this label but when they get close to us they realize who we say we are isn’t always the case.”

The Lord quickly showed me the thoughts were along the same vein. Just as Elizabeth had opened the can to find a surprise, she also had to figure out what she was going to do with the contents and how she would improvise with what she had on hand. She also will never again assume that just because a can is labeled a certain way that the contents will necessarily match up. Everyone who sees this picture also experiences to an extent what Elizabeth experienced. It sounds dramatic but it really isn’t. Think about it.

How many people have you met who have a negative story about their encounter with a follower of Christ? How many have met a green bean label only to find the contents to be a little fruity? If those of us who follow Christ have too many stories to count then so does the world. And we wonder why they are put off?

At this point in the story, many will say, yes but we are only human. They are right to an extent. We are only human but are we human living to the best of our ability or are we human living below the standard Jesus laid before us all while making excuses?

Romans 2:17 Now you, if you call yourself a Jew; if you rely on the law and brag about your relationship to God; 18 if you know his will and approve of what is superior because you are instructed by the law; 19 if you are convinced that you are a guide for the blind, a light for those who are in the dark, 20 an instructor of the foolish, a teacher of infants, because you have in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth– 21 you, then, who teach others, do you not teach yourself? You who preach against stealing, do you steal? 22 You who say that people should not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? 23 You who brag about the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? 24 As it is written: “God’s name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.”

I heard a woman on Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s show call in about an affair she had been having. Dr. Laura asked her why she didn’t leave her husband and the woman said that it was because her lover could not care for her financially as well as her husband could and because she was a Christian. Dr. Laura went nuts! She told her not to bring Jesus into this. The woman clearly was Mislabeled Christianity.

Acts3:6 Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you.

What are we giving the world? When they get close enough to look inside of our lives do they see the rotting stench of a pretend life or do they see authentic Christianity? Do we bible thumpers who say we want everyone to get their hearts right before the Lord and have everlasting life set the example by excusing why we sleep around, lie, cheat, steal, connive just as the world does?

Let’s make sure we are who our label shows us to be!

What Happened To Raising Men?

www.flickr.com/ photos/kerry1691/ 510485594/
http://www.flickr.com/ photos/kerry1691/ 510485594/

When my son was little one of the first things I taught him was to look a person in the eye and give a firm handshake. I taught him to open a door for me, to walk on the outside of the sidewalk when we walked together and to look after those who were considered more fragile than he was. His father taught him the boy things of riding a bike, boxing, sports, etc… At first, I have to say, I balked at buying guns but when he began to use his thumb and forefinger as a weapon, I figured I was fighting a losing battle. So we bought cap guns and plastic swords and along with his army men and Tonkas the boy went out to play at conquering the world. He came home with the usual battle wounds; bruised knees, cuts and scratches and that dirty puppy smell of a sweaty little boy. As he grew he rode dirt bikes, popped wheelies on his ramps, hunted and went fishing and drew on a drafting table out in the garage. In that time there was lessons on money and the use of a pocketknife and how to treat people with respect and laundry, dishes, mowing a lawn, dusting and a strong work ethic. All the things he would need in life.

Today I am not seeing that kind of raising of a man and it’s not like my son is old. He’s 28. So somewhere in the last 28 years we have stopped raising men. We no longer educate them on what it means to be a well-mannered young man. What it is going to take for a man to stand up and take on his responsibilities in life? Today I see boys who think they are men, making babies here, there and everywhere. Sitting in their Mama’s house not working or better yet, working and not saving a dime to leave. They are happy being boys. Several years ago, my son decided to take a break from college. That’s fine it’s his life, but since he was taking a break and working full-time it was time for him to move out on his own. I was really surprised when friends all questioned our decision and said things like, “He’s such a good kid and he’s not bothering anyone by living at home!” Those statements were true but I was raising a MAN not a mama’s boy. There is a difference. I believe wholeheartedly that if you aren’t going to college then you need to go get a full-time job and move out on your own and really I believe that for men or women. It may not be popular belief today but I want to raise independent free people in my house. People who can live their own lives and make intelligent decisions and not depend on us forever. We’d like to have our own life at some point so there is a method to my madness. I do not want to raise my kids forever. I realized a long time ago it was a temporary position.

Gone today are the teachings of a firm handshake and to look someone in the eye. I remember with laughter when Anthony was seven and Casey was three and he decided to teach her the rules of meeting and greeting grownups! He told her very solemnly, “Casey when you meet a grownup you have to shake with your right hand and look them in the eye, look me in the eye and say this, “Hello Mr. Martinez, my name is Mister Sister.” So he would make her practice shaking and saying that. It took all I had to not laugh out loud and I’ll have to ask her if she still runs around introducing herself as Mister Sister.

Today, I go to the youth group and most don’t even talk to me or look at me and if they do, they address me as, “Yo, Fool!” No, I’m not lying. I have to stop dead in my track and teach. Or they say, “Hey, what’s up?” Our young men, give limp wimpy handshakes if they shake my hand at all and don’t seem to know what to do. These things are not learned by osmosis. They are taught. Who is raising our men today?

Where are the men whom we call fathers who were supposed to be there to raise our sons? A woman cannot truly raise a son on her own. She can try and she does the best she can but there are things we can’t convey because we don’t know them. By nature, we as women, are emotional and we teach by emotions. A man however cannot run on emotions. They don’t know what to do with them. So they explode in anger and can’t handle problems properly because they haven’t been equipped. Men run on practicality not emotions. Yet, in a world where men are primarily absent a woman has to do what a woman has to do. The following statistics were taken from a sermon entitled Men Behaving Godly.

  • Fatherless sons are 35% more likely to experience marital failure
  • Fatherless sons are 300% more likely to become incarcerated in state juvenile institutions
  • Fatherless make up 70% of all juveniles in state institutions
  • Fatherless children are twice as likely to drop out of high school
  • Fatherless children have only half the chance of being high achievers (According to the National Association Elementary School Principals, 33% of children from two-parent families become high achievers, while only 17% of children from single-parent homes become high achievers.)
  • Fatherless children are 50% more likely to have learning disabilities.
  • According to the National Center for Health Statistics, Fatherless children are anywhere from 100 to 200% more likely to have emotional and behavioral problems.
  • Fatherless young adults are twice as likely to need and receive psychological help.
  • According to our nation’s hospitals, 80% of adolescents admitted for psychiatric reasons come from fatherless families.

“From relationships, education, to mental instability, to crime, one factor looms as the most significant contributor: A home without a dad.” (5 Lies, David T. Moore, Tyndale House Publishers, p.89-90)1995

So we have generally created a group of young narcissistic mean kids who aren’t designed that way ,they are just lost and haven’t been taught a better way. Bullying is at an all time high in schools. Violent behavior is getting worse. What used to be a fistfight is now escalating because we don’t know how to teach our boys what to do with their emotions. I see boys who don’t believe they have to take care of a woman. They believe she has to take care of them because that is all that has been modeled. I see boys who treat their moms like dirt and don’t even open a door for them. I would stand forever before I would open a door for myself in the presence of my son. I remember when I was teaching him to drive, he ran and got in the drivers side. I stood outside the car and he said,
“Get in mom!”
“I’m not opening this door. Get out of the car and open the door for me. That is what a gentleman does.”
“Mom! C’mon, you’re not my girlfriend and I know I have to open the door.”
“Son, we are not going anywhere if you’ve forgotten your manners.”
“Aye! Okay.”
I’ve never had to remind him since.

What happened to raising men? What can we do to change this statistic? Would some men please stand up and mentor some of these kids? They need you.

Abusive Relationships

www.cosmogirl.com
http://www.cosmogirl.com

I got this from a website that you might find helpful. Thanks to by Dr. Irene Matiatos and her website http://www.drirene.com.

Do you wonder if your relationship may be abusive? Ask yourself the questions below. If you answer ‘yes’ to more than a few, you may want to take a closer look:

Does your partner:

ignore your feelings?
disrespect you?
ridicule or insult you then tell you its a joke, or that you have no sense of humor?
ridicule your beliefs, religion, race, heritage or class?
withhold approval, appreciation or affection?
give you the silent treatment?
walk away without answering you?
criticize you, call you names, yell at you?
humiliate you privately or in public?
roll his or her eyes when you talk?
give you a hard time about socializing with your friends or family?
make you socialize (and keep up appearances) even when you don’t feel well?
seem to make sure that what you really want is exactly what you won’t get?
tell you you are too sensitive?
hurt you especially when you are down?
seem energized by fighting, while fighting exhausts you?
have unpredictable mood swings, alternating from good to bad for no apparent reason?
present a wonderful face to the world and is well liked by outsiders?
“twist” your words, somehow turning what you said against you?
try to control decisions, money, even the way you style your hair or wear your clothes?
complain about how badly you treat him or her?
threaten to leave, or threaten to throw you out?
say things that make you feel good, but do things that make you feel bad?
ever left you stranded?
ever threaten to hurt you or your family?
ever hit or pushed you, even “accidentally”?
seem to stir up trouble just when you seem to be getting closer to each other?
abuse something you love: a pet, a child, an object?
compliment you enough to keep you happy, yet criticize you enough to keep you insecure?
promise to never do something hurtful again?
harass you about imagined affairs?
manipulate you with lies and contradictions?
destroy furniture, punch holes in walls, break appliances?
drive like a road-rage junkie?
act immature and selfish, yet accuse you of those behaviors?
question your every move and motive, somehow questioning your competence?
interrupt you; hear but not really listen?
make you feel like you can’t win? damned if you do, damned if you don’t?
use drugs and/or alcohol involved? are things worse then?
incite you to rage, which is “proof” that you are to blame?
try to convince you he or she is “right,” while you are “wrong?”
frequently say things that are later denied or accuse you of misunderstanding?
treat you like a sex object, or as though sex should be provided on demand regardless of how you feel?

Your situation is critical if the following applies to you:

You express your opinions less and less freely.
You find yourself walking on eggshells, careful of when and how to say something.
You long for that softer, more vulnerable part of your partner to emerge.
You find yourself making excuses for your partner’s behavior?
You feel emotionally unsafe.
You feel its somehow not OK to talk with others about your relationship.
You hope things will change…especially through your love and understanding.
You find yourself doubting your memory or sense of reality.
You doubt your own judgment.
You doubt your abilities.
You feel vulnerable and insecure.
You are becoming increasingly depressed.
You feel increasingly trapped and powerless.
You have been or are afraid of your partner.
Your partner has physically hurt you, even once.

Respect

www.art.com
http://www.art.com

Is it earned or given?

1 Peter 2:17 Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.

Most people have it backward and think people have to earn their respect. People do not have to earn your respect; you give your respect to everyone. People can lose your respect, but they do not have to earn it and the only way they lose your respect is only after they have shown a lack of character.

If we are to live humanely, then we are to treat each other with respect. I don’t know where we get the idea that we can treat people without respect and make them jump through hoops to earn it. How much do I have to earn and for how long do I have to work for your respect? I don’t see that modeled in the bible anywhere. Even the Pharisees who Jesus did not get along with received his respect. He may have begged to differ with their belief but he showed proper respect. Notice the people who were disrespectful of others were not thought of well in the bible. What makes us think things have changed?

I see a lack of respect today almost everywhere. I see mean people who treat others callously and it’s wrong. On the most basic level of living on this planet, it’s wrong. We are now afraid of each other. Road rage is prevalent because no one drives respectfully. We tailgate, cut people off in traffic and when someone signals to merge in a lane we speed up to block them. We don’t care about one another’s things. What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine if I can get it. Teachers are told that they have to earn the respect of the student and that the student does not have to respect them until then. We bash the President without regard and call it our right, yet when the right you have in the world infringes on the right you have in the WORD then you’d be wise to choose the Word. Employers lay off employees days short of their retirement esteeming them of little value. Today we have children who threaten their parents and parents who threaten their children. Where did we get so twisted up?

The general lack of disrespect is ungodly and what does it say when we can’t even live at a humane level? Even if you aren’t in relationship with God, does it not move you that respect is woefully lacking in our communities? Think about something with me, would you go up to a group of teenagers in a McDonalds who were tearing the place up and ask them to stop? Of course not! Not only would the teens tell you off or worse take it to another level, the parents would show up and tell you off too. It’s ridiculous and it needs to change.

Respect is not earned. It is a gift freely given to each living thing on the planet. Respect can’t be bought. A lack of respect says more about the person who is being disrespectful than it does the person to whom respect is not being shown. Remember to live by a principle by the same measure you give that’s the same measure you get. It behooves us to respect others.

All I Got Was A Rock 2

This part 2 of a series we started yesterday. If you missed it, click here.

www.flickr.com/ photos/ 23564393@N06/ 2913006759/
http://www.flickr.com/ photos/ 23564393@N06/ 2913006759/

In that moment when Eve decided to go for the wisdom that was being offered, her flesh craved that wisdom more than her soul craved God. She opted for the momentary pleasure knowing full well that death would follow. It really is about whom you feed the most, flesh or soul. I think this is why the bible says things like, “taste and see that the Lord is good”, “my soul thirsts for you”. God knows that the flesh is hungry for things we desire that aren’t always what we need. We were created to crave both in our flesh and soul. And often our soul loses as we feed our flesh. Just like Adam and Eve lost when their flesh craved a piece of fruit more than their soul craved God.

John Bevere said, I believe it was in his book A Heart Ablaze, where he had read ancient writings of the life of Adam and Eve after the garden. In these writings it says Adam was depressed and despondent. That he spent days sitting in caves, that he attempted suicide but that God would not let him die. He had lost everything; he was for the first time alone and desolate as his soul sat starving. He rarely spoke again. How incredibly sad to lose it all! Think about when a spouse decides to have an affair the pain of that affair is inflicted on the family and the effect to their husband or wife as they pull the rug out from under their lives. The aftermath of that is also devastating if there are children as sin is always personal but never private, it affects many. The incredible sharp crushing pain to the heart. Now imagine that pain multiplied by infinity and you begin to catch a glimpse of Adam’s loss. It no longer mattered that his death wasn’t physical, he had died spiritually. I believe this is what happens when people commit suicide. They are empty internally and all that is left is flesh. They have lost all hope of anything ever filling them again.

We were all created with a soul that craves the things of God and God himself. Every single one of us needs relationship and love and acceptance. We all were made to crave those things that sustain like food can’t. Babies die without a loving touch and old people wilt away without a family. We are all created to need each other.

If in fact, we can’t help it and feeding the flesh becomes a bigger priority than feeding the soul then we are dying a slow and agonizing death. There is no long-term pleasure in the pain it causes. If we truly can’t control the cravings, if that’s in fact true, then we are living no better than the animals we profess to be above in the food chain. In the meantime, your soul is dying out because it needs the ties of humanity and to something bigger than itself to exist.

People live year after year, gathering rocks in their pillowcase, always expecting a different result but never experiencing the full life that was set before them. To really want to live a life with purpose and passion isn’t all about self and selfish cravings, it’s about giving yourself what you need and thereby feeding others something more than the rocks that have been collected. If we are really going to live a life worth living then that’s about deep friendships, beautiful love, a life of service and a heart that worships God, those are the things that the soul desires. Those are the lasting things.

All I Got Was A Rock

www.flickr.com/ photos/jenromo/ 2978143711/
http://www.flickr.com/ photos/jenromo/ 2978143711/

Gen 3:1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” 2 The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, 3 but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.'” 4 “You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

We all remember Charlie Brown’s Halloween cartoon that we watch each year on TV. Charlie Brown could never catch a break. He went trick-o-treating with his friends and while each one got candy, Charlie Brown would dejectedly profess, “All I got was a rock.” Yet, year after year we would watch him go through the same motions again, getting dressed up, just to be disappointed, hoping that this year it would be different. He craved acceptance and to fit in and just get some candy!

In the garden while most of us would say Adam and Eve needed nothing, that isn’t exactly true. They needed air, they needed relationship, they needed food and shelter. Each of us was created with things our bodies crave. All you have to do is go on a fast and see how fast your body craves food. In this passage of scripture we see where Satan preyed on the natural temptation of a craving in Eve. Because we were created in the image of God we have a need to feel powerful and in control. We have a need to know what the secret is. Forget the fact that because we are are made in his image we are powerful and in control and we already know what the secret is, our humanity thinks this is found outside of ourselves. God created this need for craving so that we would crave him. Everyone even the atheist has a craving in his being for a relationship with something bigger than himself.

Cravings are something we all have. Temptations to indulge in the cravings come along all the time. Ask the drug addict if he’d rather have drugs than food and he’ll answer that drugs is what he craves; yet he understands his need for food, it just doesn’t satisfy his craving. Ask the dieter what they crave and it’s never a diet bar, it’s always a food item they can’t have that they crave. Sometimes cravings tell us what is missing from our bodies. The person who craves crunching ice needs to have their iron levels tested, as it’s sometimes a symptom of an iron deficiency.

The key to cravings is to master them and not have them master you. The challange becomes to rule over your cravings and put them in perspective. Just as your flesh has its cravings and desires so does your soul. Everyone was created with cravings both flesh and soul. The question becomes can we control our cravings or do they control us? Can the things that are not good for us be done away with?

I have an allergy to dairy. I break out in horrible big splotchy red welt-like hives that are so incredibly itchy. Sometimes, I have a baked potato with a little sour cream and I break out all over, sometimes I have a scoop of ice cream and I get a few welts but nothing major. See, I never know when I go to eat a dairy product what the results will be. I’ve had this allergy all of my life and so you’d think now that I am 44 I would stay completely away from all dairy products but that is not the case. Sometimes, I crave a scoop of Jamoca ice cream from Baskin Robbins. Usually, when the craving hits and it’s a couple a year, I can go a few weeks without giving into my craving but eventually I go for it. The reason I do this is because the momentary pleasure is worth the pain.

What are you craving that you know is not good for you? What do you keep going back to when you know it only result in same outcome as always? We’ll discuss more tomorrow. For now, reflect on these things.

For When It Rains

www.tategroupllc.com/
http://www.tategroupllc.com/

Umbrellas are important on rainy days. We don’t think about them much any other time but when we wake up in the morning and we look out the window, and it’s raining, we look for that umbrella. We also look for that umbrella on extra hot summer days when we want to be protected from the sun. We don’t want to risk being burned.

Matthew 5:45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

Umbrellas are covering. As a married woman I count on my husband to cover me. As a woman who lives in a family whose umbrella is God I count on my husband to cover us in prayer, in character, in morals and as the head of my family we walk according to his plan praying that my husband walks according to God’s plan.

What happens though when he doesn’t? We never think it will happen to us. It’s other women whose husbands get depressed, or fall and suddenly they find themselves out in the elements dragging their family behind them. It’s never us, but the reality is, sometimes it is.

What do we do then? Do you know how to access your umbrella? Do you know how to pray for your family and cover them in the meanwhile? Can you lift your husband up in prayer while he deals with his issues? Can you keep your family out of the elements when you’re going through a storm? You see, rain is going to come for each of us we all must know how to take cover. The sun is going to get hot sometimes, we need to access that umbrella.

It’s going to call for serious relationship with God. It’s going to require deep faith. It’s going to require amazing love. Can you access the umbrella that will shield you and keep you until things get back to normal?

He Anticipates My Needs

894943976_804c5a6710

God knows me. He knows me better than I know myself. He knows what I need before I know what I need. So this blog is pretty simple.

In order to anticipate your wants and needs a man has to take the time to know you. Not just as a woman but as his woman. He knows what would make you happy and what would please you. He knows when you’ve had a rough week and he runs the tub with your favorite bubble bath and orders a pizza and waits for you to come home to relax. He knows that you’ve always wanted to go Napa for a few days and walk around the wineries and vineyards and he takes you there to explore. See, he knows you.

More than that, it makes him happy to see you happy. As my husband says often, “If the queen is happy the land is happy.” He understands me, even when I am acting crazy or am stressed about things he doesn’t stress about. He may not understand why I act the way I do but he does whatever he can to help me pull it together and get back to living our life. He takes the time to listen to my needs and he takes the time to minister to me. He prays for me everyday and looks for ways to make my life easier. I don’t have to nag him; he does it because he loves me.

God knows me. God understands me. Make sure your man does.

A Godly Education

tanzania

In our Children’s sunday school classes, the focus has always been kingdom living. We wanted the children to be able to lay hands on one another and pray, even in the playground. We wanted the children to know memory verses that they could call upon in times of trouble. We wanted them to know that how they acted at school reflected on Jesus. We wanted them to know that even though they were little, they could still pray great big prayers. Recently, I filled in in the Pre-K and Kindergarten class as their teacher was going to be out. When I asked the question, “I want to pray for my mommy and daddy and ask Jesus to ____________” One little girl who is 5 years old said, “let the heavy burdens fall off their shoulders and have peace.” Super surprised I said, “What’s heavy burdens?” “Stuff that makes you scared or mad or not want to come to church.” When I asked one little girl who is 4 “I want to pray for myself and ask Jesus to___________” She answered, “Help to remember to put my plate and cup in the sink, clean up my toys and be nice to my baby brother.” You have no idea how much that blessed me. When we ask the children for prayer requests we get hands raised quickly, “There’s this bully at school” “There’s this test coming up” “My mom yells at my dad to come to church” “My dad drinks too much with his friends” “My friend is sick and missed two days of school” “My brother keeps hitting me” They notice! They love! They understand Jesus will hear them and that nothing is too small or too big.

It’s often the grown-ups who get in the way. Recently an issue popped up. Our kids didn’t know the books of bible. The scramble ensued. Oh no! The kids don’t know the books of the bible. I bought the music they would need to sing and memorize but I didn’t see the point. I kept my mouth shut and went with the plan. Those of you who read this blog on a regular basis know that it lasted about two seconds. I asked a question not to sow discord but to make them think. Bibles have tabs and they have a table of contents, do we really need to know the books of the bible? Is it not more important and to our benefit to know scripture and what lies within those books? Is it not more important to know how to pray for someone or how to pray for ourselves? Is not more important to know that we belong to a kingdom in which no weapon formed against us shall prosper? Oh, it will try to knock us down but we have some promises to call upon. What does knowing the books of the bible do for you in the daily activity of your life? To me, knowing where the book of Ephesians falls in the bible is not important. What’s important is we all understand and know in our hearts and can say in our own words the premise of Ephesians 6:10-18. Just a thought.

To read more about how these kinds of things happened even in the days of Jesus read a good friend of this blog’s site, Jonnysoundsketch2. Click here.