I remember all to well the gasps and disdain when I pushed my little bird out of the nest. After all, he was a respectful young man-child, he wasn’t in trouble, he was working and he was being productive. However, he had completed four years of college and I had to decide did I want to raise a boy or a man? Did I want him to think that a woman would take care of him or did I want to release him to his most excellent future? I decided to give him 90 days to move out. He wasn’t causing problems, he was helpful, he was caring, but a man has got to be a man or I have failed as a mother. So the push came.
I am proud to say that he is a good man now. He stands on his own, he knows who he is and he is a man in whom I am well pleased! It wasn’t easy but babies they are not. No woman wants a man-child who can’t step out and make it on his own. No woman wants a man-child who spends his days playing video games. Oh, lots of girls tolerate all of these sad behaviors for awhile, but pretty soon they become nags who need their man-child to grow up. He’s got to have some drive to succeed. He’s got to be bold and step out into a fiercely competitive world. Oftentimes, as mothers we are our man-child’s biggest hinderance to launching especially if dad is missing we then tend over compensate for their lack of fathering.
I am pleased to say that my second man-child has just today, received his letter of acceptance to college. I am proud of him. We have prepped him for this time and it is time to release our arrow into the world to make a difference.
In William J. Bennett’s op ed piece for Fox News, Have We Forgotten How to Raise Boys Into Men? he concisely says what is needed in our society. It’s a great read and I thought I would share it with you today!
3 thoughts on “Raising Men”
In the past a boy learned by his father’s example what it meant to be a man because everyone worked on a farm. In today’s society we don’t get to see Dad work because he does it outside the home most likely and usually works for someone else. But children learn best by example, what they see their parents and mentors do, is what they will imitate.
I’m sometimes worried about what my son is learning from me…only time will tell.
Wow, look at your life! We’re Internet friends but from what I read he’s learning:
working is a blessing
playing music is a passion
passion used for God’s work is righteous
spending time with your kid is important
fun time with your dad are memorable
compassion is not wimpy
I also play video games, hang out online and sometimes do nothing at all cuz I only get him on Sunday and Monday (the latter which is my only full day off). He once commented that I don’t seem to do anything when he’s around and I realized that I was sending the wrong signals and started using Mondays to clean up a some around the house, work on specific projects for him and whatever else I thought he needed to see.
Some of his “observations” come from his mom’s POV too, so I take them with a grain of salt. But now I limit my online time to while he’s in school for about two hours then work or read to relax. It’s tough to navigate the waters with limited exposure.