Bring Me A Plate!

I think I might have found the right Miss Piggy for these posts!

From time to time I write about Etiquette on this blog. For some reason manners are missing in my world and the more I read and hear, the more I think they are just missing. Period.

So here is my tip of the day. If you couldn’t bother showing up at a dinner party, for whatever reason, even worse if you weren’t invited, you are not entitled to a take-home plate UNLESS the host/hostess offers, please notice the word OFFERS, to send you one. It’s not okay, to send a loved one to ask for a to-go plate for you. That’s what drive-thru is for. It’s not okay to announce, “My sister couldn’t make it, but she said to bring her a plate.” Hello! Entitled generation much?

Teen Pregnancy

Us Weekly

Gaby Rodriguez did a experiment at her school. She pretended to be pregnant for six months to see the response. She got to feel first hand the reaction of her peers and her teachers. A good student who had never had trouble in school before, hers was a story everyone had an opinion about. I believe she taught us all something about ourselves. How we view others, how we really don’t know what it’s like to walk it out in their shoes and how gossip never helps anyone.

This seems to be a hot topic among the high school crowd. MTV has a reality show about teen moms and according to news reports some girls are trying to get pregnant to be on the show. Sadly, being famous at any cost is the reality of our day. So the question becomes are the shows there to deter pregnancy or to glorify them and the answer probably is both. While I don’t think the show’s creator set out to glorify a teen getting pregnant because honestly, who would do that? I believe the show’s creators probably set out to make an informative show on what not to do with your life. The mere presence of a television show using real people makes real people do some pretty crazy things to get on the show.

As a woman who was a teen mom, there isn’t any glory in it. Your life is forever changed. The dreams you once had for your life are changed permanently. Poverty is higher, joblessness is higher, children of teen parents suffer the consequences of what happens when a home is not prepared in advance. Grandmothers get put into the role of mother and then resented because of it. It’s a mess.

Maybe the real reality show should be to follow moms who were teen moms and see how their lives unfolded. If we’re looking for a deterrent then maybe that is the way to go! Watching a 32 year-old mom handle her 16 year-old child puts things a little bit more in perspective of what it will be like. To see the challenge of living your life out in spite of circumstances may be the real key here.

Hmmm maybe I should stop writing this blog and go pitch a new show!

The Details

I’ve become aware of my life. It sounds weird but I’ve began seeing where I spend my time and how I spend it. I’m not so, ‘go with the flow and forget about me’, as I once was. This realization of what adds to and takes away from my life is enlightening me. I knew certain things with head knowledge but really didn’t know them in my heart until I started to examine my time and how I spent it.

I knew that God was interested in all the details of my life. I knew that he was with me always. I knew he was just a conversation away but I don’t think I really realized it as I do now. He really does care about the little things I do all day. Anything from washing dishes to what I buy at the grocery store to what I listen to on the radio.

God is in the simple and the mundane as much as he is in the profound. Have you ever stopped to realize how he is there in every single conversation we have with ourselves AND with others? Would my inner self-talk change if I realized my creator was listening to what I had to say to myself? Would I be so critical of myself, of others, if I understood that simple truth? Would I be so quick to complain about the little irritations of life, if I stopped and considered that the One who ordered my day was standing right there listening? My decisions and my direction change when I am aware that I am being watched over in the details. I am not being stalked or judged, I am be cared over. I am being cried over, I am being laughed over, I am being cheered over and although as believers we know it, I wonder if we understand it?

I am becoming more aware about the details of my life. The fact that I am part of something that is so huge my brain could never wrap itself around it, isn’t overlooked or put to the side to me these days. The details, each little move I make, counts for something. What will I make it count for today? What will you make it count for today?

Dressing Your Daughter From A Dad’s Perspective!

I love when a father takes his rightful place in a family. Hallelujah! May the Lord bless LZ Granderson immensely for speaking the truth! Maybe Mr. Granderson can teach some men how to be a dad! Here is a story from Opinion. The story highlights are as follows:

LZ Granderson: Some parents dress their young girls in provocative outfits

Retailers have encouraged this behavior by marketing inappropriate clothing

He says it’s OK to blame retailers, but it’s parents who are ultimately responsible

Children need parents who will set rules, not be their friends, he says

Click here to read this honest opinion!

What A Man Needs

When is a man ready for a relationship that leads to marriage? I teach this to our girls in youth group. Five things God gave Adam before he gave him a wife. Today I was reminded of the teaching so I thought I’d share it with you. It’s not my original thought. In fact, I got it from Dr. Myles Munroe back in 1992-93-ish but it’s still powerful knowledge today.

Genesis 2:7 the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

So we begin to see an order in God’s design of man. The first was relationship with God above all. A man whose need for a savior is foremost in his life is on the right path.

Genesis 2:8 Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed.

Although the Lord was Adam’s father, Adam had his own place to live.

Genesis 2:15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

Adam had a job. Need I say more?

Genesis 2:16 And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”

Adam lived within order and within the parameters of the laws set before him.

Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.

Adam reached a point in his life where he recognized the need for help-meet. He recognized that he had God, but that there was something missing.

God in his infinite wisdom led Adam down a path of order to a point where he realized he wanted to share his life with another living being. So often, we circumvent the process in an attempt to make things happen by our own hand. Perhaps this is why the divorce rate is so high. Perhaps this is why there are so many unwed mothers and absent dads. We didn’t recognize the need for each other. When we don’t know the purpose of something we tend to abuse or misuse what we’ve been given. If we are given things we didn’t yet earn, we don’t value it.

I love that I have women in their 20’s who see me around town and remember the teaching they received in high school. I’ll hear, “Pastora, he has three, as they hold up three fingers, but you know me, I’m waiting for the five!” In their age group one of the things they are missing is the need. Let’s be wise! Let’s wait until he’s ready. We’ve been playing house since we can remember but men have been busy playing war. He needs to conquer some things first, let’s be at peace with that.

My Choice Is You!

Psalm 16:1 Keep me safe, O God, I’ve run for dear life to you. 2 I say to God, “Be my Lord!” Without you, nothing makes sense. 3 And these God-chosen lives all around – what splendid friends they make! 4 Don’t just go shopping for a god. Gods are not for sale. I swear I’ll never treat god-names like brand-names. 5 My choice is you, God, first and only. And now I find I’m your choice! 6 You set me up with a house and yard. And then you made me your heir! 7 The wise counsel God gives when I’m awake is confirmed by my sleeping heart. 8 Day and night I’ll stick with God; I’ve got a good thing going and I’m not letting go. 9 I’m happy from the inside out, and from the outside in, I’m firmly formed. 10 You canceled my ticket to hell – that’s not my destination! 11 Now you’ve got my feet on the life path, all radiant from the shining of your face. Ever since you took my hand, I’m on the right way. – “The Message”

Where The Rubber Meets The Road

A woman called the Dr. Laura Schlessinger show because she felt she was losing her faith in God. She said she was a believer, whose nephew had died in Afghanistan and it was making her question God. Dr. Laura made the statement that the woman really didn’t have faith because she said she believed and had faith as long as tragedy didn’t hit her door but once it did she lost her faith, thereby negating the faith in the first place. Dr. Laura pointed out that many soldiers had died in Afghanistan why didn’t the woman lose her faith then?

I stopped my work to listen to this call because this is an interesting dynamic we face as believers of Christ. We walk steady until the rubber meets the road then some of us waffle. I remember a few days or so after my husband died and I lie in bed one night unable to sleep. I cried out to God, “I need to know you’re with me. I need to know you have a plan because right now it doesn’t make sense to me. I need to know I’m not alone because right now I feel desolate.” God doesn’t mind my questions but c’mon, either I believe he’s with me in the good and bad or I’m lying to myself.

James 2:20 NKJV
But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead?

It’s those rubber meets the road decisions that will come to test out if what we believe are merely words or actually action? Let’s be honest, this relates to everything in our lives not only our belief in God. Do we vow for better or worse to our spouse then bale when the worst comes? Or worse, make them pay forever for their sin. Do we believe that adultery is wrong until the sexy co-worker makes a pass? Are you like me, who wakes up with a resolve to eat right each morning, and then someone brings you a chocolate cake and you have two slices instead of a half of one?

Do we really believe what we say we believe or do we believe it as long as it isn’t actually happening to us? Do we live what we believe or are we like Dr. Laura’s caller who loses her faith the moment something doesn’t go her way? Life is life, it will hand us good, bad, ugly, and beautiful days. Will we thank God for them all or will pick and choose only the good ones and turn our backs on Him for the bad ones?

Where To Turn?


What do you do when you hear a rumor about someone? If you’re like most people, you accept the rumor as fact, pass it on and feed on it. After all, rumors often make us feel good about ourselves. Sometimes someone’s life is so messed up we become grateful that our lives are not in that much of a mess. The juicier the rumor the better because it makes us feel better!

Only, what happens when you become the brunt of the rumor? Don’t you want people to come and ask you what has happened? Don’t you want to be able to tell your story? Haven’t you learned by now that the truth has three sides, yours, mine and the truth?

I was thinking about this after the Beth Moore conference. She said something that made such an impact that I wrote down not only what she said on paper I wrote it on my heart. She said,

“Will we turn to Him (God) or turn on one another?”

If we don’t like things done to us, then wouldn’t we give the benefit of the doubt and go find out what is true before we burn someone at the stake?

In real life I am pretty blunt. I will go to the person and say, “Hey, I heard this about you and want to hear what you have to say.” I want to know the truth and so I go and see where the story intersects. I also don’t believe everything I hear either so maybe that helps.

As believers in Christ we know things are going to happen. Rumors are going to go around, people are going to say mean things but what we must do is not turn on one another. Let’s keep our hearts right before the One who can help us.


Oregon Lions sight and hearing foundation

Janina’s question:
for many years I live with a deep desire in my heart to hear God’s Voice but I cannot go through. Do you have some suggestions for me. Thanks.

I remember being right there in that same spot! Most people including myself will say something that we understand but not everyone gets it until it’s time.

Romans 10:17 NKJV
So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

When I was a new believer I tried so hard to hear God speak. I wanted to have conversations with him like more mature believers had but I wasn’t getting anywhere. Some would say to me, read the gospels. Other would say, read the psalms, while others would point to specific scriptures, like I just did here in this post.

For me, I believe that I tried too hard in the beginning. Prayer and relationship is not a forced thing. I can’t walk up to a stranger and demand a conversation on my terms. I can’t come to you and talk and talk and talk and never pause to listen to what you have to say.

So in the simplest terms I can use, I think you must read the bible. Let the stories come alive for you. Pray as you would talk to a friend, and take the time to listen to the other side of the conversation. Take your time and believe that it will happen. You must be ready to listen though because it will come quietly. God’s words to you will come when you aren’t busy, when you are searching and when you are ready. His words will not supersede your will nor will they condemn but they will gently lead. Well, okay sometimes not so gently, but I’ve never felt hopeless in those moments with God, I know he is still there guiding me where I allow him to. Sometimes a word you’ve been waiting for comes from the mouth of a least expected source. Don’t discount this as coincidence.

Ease up on yourself and let your Father in heaven know your desire to hear his voice. It will come. There’s so much more to say here but this is a good start and I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much. Start here. Read and pray and LISTEN. May God bless you and thanks for writing in!