What a ride! I mean seriously,
This Mother’s Day, I was given a great gift. Casey, my daughter who lives in Los Angeles came home to spend the weekend with me and brought me lots of presents. My husband, bought me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers. The only thing missing was my son, Anthony, who had to work Sunday and couldn’t drive down, but he called first thing in the morning and his girlfriend, Frances, whom we love, came to stand in his place. Steve, who is like my second son, and a man who is like a brother to Anthony, came and gave me a hug in his place.
All of this was perfect already but those of you who read this blog know that as a stepmom, I’ve had some long and hard days blending this family. I’ve stood my ground and loved my children, bio and step and it has finally paid off. I want to share what Lauren, who is 17, and whom I’ve tried to be a mentor and a surrogate mother since she was 9 and her father and I married, wrote in her card to me.
Thanks so much for being my mom. I’m starting to appreciate you more than ever, especially when I see how other girls’ moms are. I realize I’m the one with the greener grass. 🙂 I’m not really sure how to say just how thankful I am for everything you do, and how much you put up with. It makes me so happy to know you consider me one of your own daughters. I can’t say thank you enough. I love you! Lauren
Hang in there stepmoms! Some of you are in the storms right now, and I have that t-shirt, so I know it’s no light thing you are going through. Some of you are struggling to stay in a marriage where it seems you are attacked and vilified because of the kids. Hang in there dear stepmoms, this will pass! If I could hug each of you, I surely would. I understand the loneliness you are feeling and the feeling that no one understands what you are going through but there are more stepfamilies in America than “real” families. Beloved, you are the new normal. I’ve had my battles, I’ve been angry and I’ve felt that I was a bystander in this family, but this letter shows me and YOU that you will make it. Things do turn around and just when you want to get off the roller coaster, things smooth out.
Lauren and I had some serious issues but ultimately I love her, want the best for her, desire for her to fulfill her God-given destiny and whether she recognized that or not, I acted on her behalf as a mom would have. Trust me when I tell you that I know we have some sunny days ahead and I don’t kid myself, we have some dark days ahead too. After all, she’s still a teenager and I’m still standing in the way of her doing as she pleases for a little bit longer. But there’s hope! I have to let you all know that there is hope!
Stay the course, keep praying and keep moving forward in the things you know are right to do!