Category: My Life

Doing The Wrong Thing

tlc4women3 Comments
http://www.sodahead.com/

A woman I know found $10,000 in an envelope. No one saw her find it, it was cash. She called the police and turned it in. Her friends questioned her. Was she dumb? Naive? The money could have changed her life. What struck her was that some who were Christians told her she was crazy for doing it and what if it were God trying to bless her, what if it were drug money? She began to doubt herself, she couldn’t sleep, she went to God and repented for doing what she thought was right. My heart went out to her because what should have been applauded as good character wasn’t. Yet, I believe there is an eternal reward for her good deed.

In the same week a woman came in for a meeting with a ministry team. She was angry. She said that the music of the church wasn’t anointed and in fact was dead, the ministry was dead and if they wanted to bring life to the home church they had started then they needed to sing this music (she then produced music sheets) and they had to bring in this person to lead worship and they had to minister in a certain way and they had to leave their jobs and dedicate themselves solely to growing the house church. She accused them of not hearing from the Holy Spirit, of not putting into leadership the people she had selected, and accused their wives of not being supportive to their ministry because they told her she should prayerfully consider submission and not speak out against her leaders.

Further in the same week I met with a gentleman who was being asked to make a vow at the altar of our church that he didn’t believe in and wasn’t planning to keep. He is an unbeliever and I explained that our faith takes that vow very seriously and I didn’t want him to make a vow that would compromise his values. I told him that I was praying for his salvation and that I would want him not to have to account for that vow on judgment day. He said he didn’t believe in a judgment day so it was no big deal. I asked him as politely as I could to postpone this decision because we took this vow very seriously. He became angry, felt judged and although it wasn’t my intention for him to feel this way, neither was I willing to compromise my belief. It went downhill fast. He went away frustrated and mad, and I went away feeling I didn’t handle it well, feeling that I could not accommodate him and neither could I back up his vow as a witness. Unless two agree they don’t walk together. Fortunately, I don’t make the final decision on the outcome. I just report back.

These things weighed heavily on my heart and Sunday I pretty much cried through the worship service. No wonder the world calls us hypocrites, I thought, as I laid it all bare to the Lord. When we think God doesn’t have the right to make clearly defined lines that we are supposed to keep then what does the world think? When we don’t stay in our place where leadership and ministry is concerned then what does the world think? When we explain our faith and how we believe, an unbeliever doesn’t believe us because he’s seen so much hypocrisy. He thinks I was harsh and picking on him because I didn’t want him to compromise and say things his heart didn’t feel and I didn’t want to compromise Jesus. Neither of us left successful that day.

Paul said: Acts 20:25. “Now I know that none of you among whom I have gone about preaching the kingdom will ever see me again. 26. Therefore, I declare to you today that I am innocent of the blood of all men. 27. For I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God.

My prayer this week is that I can say that I am innocent of the blood of all men. We serve a God who IS. Jesus was pretty clear about feeding his sheep, keeping his Father’s commandments and loving one another. Lord, guide me to be a good witness to you. I want to do the will of the Father. Yes, I know that I fall short daily but let me be one who although does sin is not controlled by sin but by Jesus Christ. Help to explain my faith so that I don’t become a stumbling block or set someone back from serving the Kingdom. Lord, I want to be pleasing to you.

TLC4Women

tlc4women1 Comment

This year we gave out our first scholarship to a high school senior. We got a committee together of three women and had two meetings. One to determine the criteria for the scholarship and one to read the applicant’s essays. We three unanimously choose one girl whose letter touched our hearts.

Then the three of us arrived at the high school last Monday night and walked up to the microphone and nervously presented our first annual scholarship. We were so excited! Our winner is Damaris Raluy and I wanted to share our picture with her.

Our Pastor challenged us with a question several years ago. He said, “Do you want to be a small part of something big or a big part of something small?” We all unquestionably answered that we wanted to be a small part of something big. Here is the women’s ministry of our church’s response to that call. Here is a small seed into the education of a young woman, which is a big thing! Praise you Lord that I stand beside these two mighty women of God and together we made a small thing happen that we pray will reap big results. Congratulations Damaris! We will pray diligently for your success!

In this photo left to right: ME, Damaris Raluy, Tracy Jurado, Vikki Grijalva

I Can’t Help Myself

tlc4women2 Comments
http://www.flickr.com/ photos/bluemarla/ 563060515/

I love you and nobody else, Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch……

Just kidding. I want to talk about habits today. Do you know that addictions are habits formed? The other day I realized that when I linked Facebook to my Blackberry that my phone was continually buzzing with a Facebook message and just like Pavlov’s dog, I would reach for my phone to see what new witty thing someone had to say. I would then answer the message and go back to my work but all of those stop and starts throughout my day were cutting into my time at work. Even though I make my own hours doesn’t mean my time isn’t wasted by all of these starts and stops.

So I determined to only check my Blackberry every hour and a half to start. I would answer my text messages, my facebook messages and then head back to work. Those few days were torture and it didn’t work at all. I rationalized well, it could be a text message and if it was, then it might be the office or the store, whichever place I wasn’t at, and they might need me. This message might not wait an hour till the next check. Then I switched the ringtones, one for text messages and one for Facebook. Still didn’t work because I wanted to see what everyone was talking about.

I have developed an addiction that was formed by a bad habit. I’m working on it now. I could have easily made excuses and said I couldn’t help myself, addictive personalities run in my family, my parents are smokers. For that matter if you look at my family tree, I have drug addicts, gamblers, and alcoholics in my lineage so addictions are in my DNA.

Only they’re not. That’s a great excuse but it still comes down to choices I make and places I put myself. It really has nothing to do with what my parents do or don’t do, it’s simply what I decide to do. Do patterns follow families? Sure they do, but it’s more about a thought process than it is a built in mechanism. If a certain behavior is acceptable in your family your mind becomes open to it. If you do not build an aversion to it, you may determine to repeat it.

My husband has a saying, Change Your Mind, Change Your World. That’s really it in a nutshell. Those habits that you are trying to break are done by changing thought pattern. So what are you waiting for? Make some small steps away from those thought processes that take you down the wrong path. Stop making excuses because ultimately you are the only one who can help yourself. Determine that those bad habits end today!

Her Children Stand And Bless Her

tlc4women1 Comment
funonthenet

What a ride! I mean seriously,

what-a-ride.

This Mother’s Day, I was given a great gift. Casey, my daughter who lives in Los Angeles came home to spend the weekend with me and brought me lots of presents. My husband, bought me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers. The only thing missing was my son, Anthony, who had to work Sunday and couldn’t drive down, but he called first thing in the morning and his girlfriend, Frances, whom we love, came to stand in his place. Steve, who is like my second son, and a man who is like a brother to Anthony, came and gave me a hug in his place.

All of this was perfect already but those of you who read this blog know that as a stepmom, I’ve had some long and hard days blending this family. I’ve stood my ground and loved my children, bio and step and it has finally paid off. I want to share what Lauren, who is 17, and whom I’ve tried to be a mentor and a surrogate mother since she was 9 and her father and I married, wrote in her card to me.

Thanks so much for being my mom. I’m starting to appreciate you more than ever, especially when I see how other girls’ moms are. I realize I’m the one with the greener grass. 🙂 I’m not really sure how to say just how thankful I am for everything you do, and how much you put up with. It makes me so happy to know you consider me one of your own daughters. I can’t say thank you enough. I love you! Lauren

Hang in there stepmoms! Some of you are in the storms right now, and I have that t-shirt, so I know it’s no light thing you are going through. Some of you are struggling to stay in a marriage where it seems you are attacked and vilified because of the kids. Hang in there dear stepmoms, this will pass! If I could hug each of you, I surely would. I understand the loneliness you are feeling and the feeling that no one understands what you are going through but there are more stepfamilies in America than “real” families. Beloved, you are the new normal. I’ve had my battles, I’ve been angry and I’ve felt that I was a bystander in this family, but this letter shows me and YOU that you will make it. Things do turn around and just when you want to get off the roller coaster, things smooth out.

Lauren and I had some serious issues but ultimately I love her, want the best for her, desire for her to fulfill her God-given destiny and whether she recognized that or not, I acted on her behalf as a mom would have. Trust me when I tell you that I know we have some sunny days ahead and I don’t kid myself, we have some dark days ahead too. After all, she’s still a teenager and I’m still standing in the way of her doing as she pleases for a little bit longer. But there’s hope! I have to let you all know that there is hope!

Stay the course, keep praying and keep moving forward in the things you know are right to do!

Thankful

tlc4women1 Comment

I am thankful to be an American. Having traveled to various countries I appreciate being an American. I am afforded great things in this country even the ability to disagree with its policies at times. This is a truly great place to be from.

I am thankful for life. The ability to breathe, to love, to walk with a purpose and a destiny set before me brings me great joy and peace. Not everything is perfect in my life but I am in the will of the Father and I am blessed to be so.

I am thankful for health. I am not suffering with any disease. I am grateful that I feel well. I am thankful that we have fresh food to eat, eastern and western medicine when needed.

I am thankful for my family. Everyone is safe and in their homes and that makes me grateful. I am thankful that my adult children are working. I love to see my son in such a great relationship and I am grateful that he has chosen someone who fits in our family. I am thankful for my home. I love the warmth of my home and I am ever so grateful to have a roof over my head. It is a blessing. I recognize it.

I am thankful for my friends. I have a group of people around me who I can be honest with. We love deep and are loyal. I am thankful for work. I am blessed to work a lot of hours in a service that is worthwhile to me.

I am thankful for my church. Thankful that I work alongside great people of God. This group of people wants to see the Kingdom of Heaven touch earth and have sold-out to do so. I am forever thankful for my church. It wasn’t where I was born but it has allowed me with grace and mercy to grow up.

Above all and forever I am thankful to serve God. He is everything to me. I don’t want to be without Him. All the other things I mentioned above can be gone in a heartbeat. I can screw up and lose it all but I don’t want to be without God. He is the foundation on which I have chosen to build my life and although it isn’t always easy to serve him, it’s always necessary. I love him with my whole heart and I am beyond grateful that I was called to serve.

What are you thankful for? Sometimes, it’s great to sit down and list them.

The Christian Dress Code

tlc4women16 Comments
http://www.bbc-ministries.org/

The Christian dress code is the controversy that keeps on going. What do you wear to church?

It seems to be one of the controversies where we make judgment calls on others based on their outfits. I have to admit I am conflicted and (maybe?) outdated on my thoughts here. On the one hand, I LOVE the idea of “Sunday Best” and I dress for church. The question becomes what is best for me on Sunday may not be so for you. On the other hand, I hate the fashion police mentality. Jeans on the platform, no jeans on the platform is one question. Most Christians have rules on this.

Do jeans make me sing better or worse?

Do jeans say something about me?

What is it that it says about me?

Does it say I have such a great relationship with Jesus that we no longer pretend that I am not a jean’s kind of girl and wear a pair most days?

What length of skirt pleases God? Does one below the knee make him happy or does he like my bony knees? Boots, do they offend him or is He more concerned with my open toed shoes because they show my red polish?

And if God only judges my heart does he care what is on the outside or is what on the outside determine what is on the inside?

So many questions and I have more! Could it be that God wants me in church regardless of what I wear? Does God really hate for me to show my shoulders or do you hate for me to show them? Is he really offended by flip-flops or are you? Did he create me with a certain style or did I pick one up?  Do I need to change for him or for you? Would it bother you to wear a suit if I didn’t? Would it bother you if I wore a dress and you preferred pants? Why does it bother you?

Why does it bother me that it bothers you?

And while we are here, who appointed either of us spokesperson? I have a confession, I hate when people wear pajama bottoms or slippers to Sunday service. I don’t care if they wear them to bible study.

What would Jesus do? Would he be thrilled that I chose to be with a group of followers who want to access the power of unity in prayer or would he be appalled at my clothing? Would he tell me to get over myself and love people and quit caring what they wear or would he ask me to gently guide them to more holy clothing? Although, admittedly he technically has never asked me not even with the pajama wearer.

What is holy clothing?

This is going to sound so stupid, but it’s my blog so I will take license today, but Nirvana’s song Come As You Are keeps going through my head as I write today.

Come as you are,

As you were,

As I want you to be,

As a friend, As a friend,

As a known enemy,

Take your time, hurry up,

The choice is yours don’t be late, take a rest….

Come doused in mud,

soaked in bleach,

As I want you to be,

As a trend, as a friend….

The song always invokes a “make up your mind” feeling when I hear it. As if nothing the writer did was the right thing to do. As if people tell him to come as you are but really want him to come as they need him to be.

This is what the Dress Code invokes in me. As if no matter what side I pick on this issue it won’t be right. No matter what I do it won’t be right. Help me Jesus to allow me to see in others what You sees in them.

Let me look past the exterior to the beauty that was created in each of you. Let me instead of looking at your outfit; see the fingerprints of your creator.

I think I could find peace in that. Maybe.

Maybe I could get past all of this. I still prefer to dress in ‘Sunday Best’ but whose to say I’m right? Maybe I could past all of this.  Then again, I’d probably still check out your shoes.

Quotes From Jenesis

tlc4women4 Comments

I hadn’t seen my little monkey, except for briefly on Sundays. Every time I saw her she’d say, “Pastor Susan, I miss you, and we need to talk. Can we go to Jamba or Starbucks this week?” So Wednesday, we spent the afternoon together.

I had to go to Costco and the office supply store, so we took a drive. The drive up she napped so there wasn’t much talking but when she woke up she was starving and full of things to talk about. We went to eat and her biggest delight was this milk shake with the cherry on top. “I like this place because the milk shakes come in this glass with a cherry on top. They don’t come in those little cups. This is a fun place. I’ve never been here before but I know I’m going to like it, because of the glass and the milk shake.” Six is still a funny age, and the things she had to say made me smile and laugh out loud.

“We need to bring Pastor Doug here. He would love this.” When I asked her if we should bring the kids with us she said, “No way, just the three of us!”

When shoe shopping: “Flats are baby shoes, I don’t wear flats. I wear heels, I’m six years old, you know.”
When seeing Jessica Simpson platforms, “Oh! Pastor Susan, do these come in size 12? These are beautiful!”

She wanted to tell me about a crush she had on a boy, “My rule is NO SCHOOL BOYS, ONLY CHURCH BOYS. You know that lady that is married to the drummer? They are like Angie’s cousins, or something like that?”
“NO! Not Iris, she’s not even in the band, silly, the woman that’s married to the drummer that’s not David the drummer, the other drummer!”
“Yes! Coco, his wife.”
“Yeah, yeah, Vikki, she told David about my crush on him, she said, ‘You have an admirer!’ How embarrassing she is! You know who Carmen likes? Well, she used to like Robert, but now they are cousins, or something like that, so she likes David too. Plus she likes the son of the lady with the three sons who have their hair kinda spiky, what’s their names?”
“Christopher, yeah him, I think. Angie pretends she doesn’t like anybody but she is just too shy to say who she likes, I know who she likes.”

“Did you know that when I’m 16, my dad is going to make me a car? A hot rod, with flames.”

“Turn the station to 1-1-5, that’s Disney, I’ll tell you if that’s right. Yes, Yes, that’s right, that’s the Jonas Brothers.”

“Wanna know what song I LOVE? OPEN UP THE SKY, POUR DOWN LIKE RAIN, WE DON’T WANT BLESSINGS WE WANT YOU, OPEN UP THE SKIES POUR DOWN LIKE FIRE, WE DON’T WANT ANYTHING BUT YOU.”

“Can you believe the dogs had puppies AGAIN? AGAIN, Pastor Susan, I couldn’t believe it, but they did.”

“Kids in my class kiss at recess. Can you believe it? Kindergarten, Pastor Susan, and they-are-kissing. I was going to tell the teacher that I saw them but…I forgot.”

“Remember when I used to like Corbin Bleu? I was little back then, now I like Justin Bieber. He’s 16. He drives you know, I saw him in a car.” “No! Not in our town! On TV of course!”

I love spending time with this girl. Her conversations surprise me. Sometimes, she is so deep and other times so funny. She was a typical girl though, she had a million things to say and she was never quiet. I don’t remember being this savvy at her age and I don’t think my daughter Casey was either, but it goes to show how kids are growing up these days. I’m over the top with this child and I can’t believe how fast it all goes. I remember holding her as a baby and playing ring-around-the rosies with her when she was two and now she’s six. Time flies. Jenesis is my practice for grandkids. If I love them 1/2 as much as I love her they will be blessed!

Do You Ever…

tlc4women1 Comment

look at your life with such amazing gratitude to God for what he’s brought you through and what he’s done for you? Today was one of those days for me. It made me look ahead in anticipation to what’s next!