Category: Ministry

The Pastor’s Wife

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October is the month we have Pastor’s Appreciation Month and I know it’s April, but actually, we need to be praying for our pastors all the time because they have a tough job. While not being physically exhausting most days, it’s mentally challenging and emotionally charged. And while you’re there, pray for his wife too. That’d be me.

Today I woke up with the burden of the Pastor’s wife on my heart. She is in a unique position. She watches her husband from a vantage point that no one else really gets to see. She watches as he walks the line that is unpopular in our culture. She watches as people from the outside presume to know what he is about. She watches as his critics swim like sharks who see chum in the water. Most days, she’s able to pray and walk forward with her day. Other days, she is exhausted at the prospect before the day even gets started. She shares her life with a man who has a calling on his life. It’s not like a job where he can go home and let it go. It follows him everywhere. She watches as he paces the floor in prayer and wonders what the stress is doing to his body.

Yet her life is blessed as she stands secure in the fact that her husband follows the One true desire of her heart, Jesus. She has that in common with him as they move the Kingdom forward. She loves her church family with her whole heart. She rests in knowing that they have placed their trust where she has and that is a big obligation he carries. She understands that although her church needs her, her first duty is to her husband. She knows she must keep him healthy, keep him loved, keep him in her prayers and undergird his desires.

Recently someone said to me that I didn’t understand what she and other women had to go through.  They have been hurt, they had been stabbed in the back and that they have had words spoken over them that they didn’t feel they deserved. I smiled and offered to pray. Inwardly, I wondered what makes her think I don’t go through this stuff? Some of the things a Pastor’s wife is told would make your hair curl. The criticism thrown at her, her children, and her husband would be laughable it it weren’t so painful. Just because she isn’t publicly bleeding doesn’t mean she isn’t wounded. She chooses to suck it up and move forward because the One she follows had a lot of heartache too, but recognized a short time frame when he saw one. Unfortunately, I’ve seen my share of wives get off the ride and decide to do something else because of the stress and pressure on her marriage and her family.

So today, my hat is off to all of you who are married to a Pastor. It’s a blessing to know you. It’s a blessing to pray for you. More importantly, it’s a blessing to be counted among you. I truly love each and everyone of you. May God continue to fashion you into His leading lady.

 

With Every Head Bowed

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In churches across this nation there will be a time in the service on Sunday morning when the Pastor will say something like this:

“With every head bowed and every eye closed, if you came here today and you don’t know Jesus as your Lord and Savior and you would like to, would you slip up your hand? I’d like to pray with you.”

Before I continue on my thought process let me say that I’m not indicting the church. I love the church and I believe in her ability. This post is about my working out how this all works and bringing you into my own conversation.

Luke 9:26 For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when He comes in His own glory, and in His Father’s, and of the holy angels.

We bow our heads and close our eyes to give someone the privacy to confess Christ. We don’t want to embarrass anyone or intimidate anyone into not making a decision for Christ. I get the sentiment but how does that fly with the scripture of public confession? If we had to confess in secret when do we proclaim in public? We then hear this:

“Let’s all join our voices with those who are confessing Christ for the first time and repeat this prayer.” What follows is what we church folk call the sinner’s prayer. It’s a good prayer, nothing wrong with the prayer, but we all confess so as not to call out the person receiving Christ for the first time as if it’s a bad thing. Did we tell them this is an every day confession? Did we tell them this was step one? Or did we let them walk away thinking they were good?

Matthew 10:32 “Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven.

We all repeat the sinner’s prayer together. It doesn’t hurt anyone to say the prayer but it does hinder the congregation to know who is receiving Christ for the first time. Which leads me to my main point:

Matthew 28:18 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

Who came to Christ for the first time? My head was bowed and my eyes were closed. How do I disciple someone when I don’t know they raised their hand? Then there’s the question; what about conversion? How does conversion happen if I said a prayer in a group and no one told me that there was more to the kingdom and this new lifestyle called Christianity?

I hear so often about those who profess Christ on Sunday but cuss like sailors and live like hell the rest of the week and post all of their nonsense on Social Media and how bad a witness they are. Is that their fault? I don’t always think so. I think they may not know better. I think they may not be in the process of discipleship. I think we may have to cut them some slack until we begin to teach them to observe the things the Word demands of us.

Greedy

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Most people don’t see themselves as greedy or selfish but most of us are in one way or another. So what is greed?

Greed – noun – excessive or rapacious desire, especially for wealth or possessions.

Greed is taking more than you give.

Sit on that statement for a minute. It’s taking more than you give.

There is enough in the world for everyone’s need but not enough for everyone’s greed. ~ Frank Buchman

Potlucks and buffets show greed in the most interesting way. Some people are just generous, they walk in with a lot of food to share. You’re supposed to bring a dish to share but this person walks in with two or three dishes or one dish big enough to feed an army. Other people walk in with little or nothing. Their reasoning is that they don’t eat much, or knew there would be an abundance of food. That in and of itself isn’t greediness but it isn’t generous. I watch behavior and sometimes I see people who didn’t participate in the food share, but they are quick to offer to take food home to their family if there are leftovers. Remember greed is taking more than you give.

I don’t know what happens to people at potlucks and buffets, including myself! Perhaps it’s the array of food. Perhaps it’s the syndrome of our eyes being bigger than our stomaches. We recently went to Las Vegas and everything looked so good that I got a little of everything. Then as I tasted the food, some of it was delicious and other things not so much. It would have been great to stop there, at the taste test, but I didn’t. I went back to get a little more of the delicious stuff. Why? Because tomorrow I wouldn’t have access to it. I wasn’t even hungry, I was greedy, and gluttonous.  Potlucks happen much the same way. We like something so much that we want it all for ourselves. Then something happens, we get into this mode of I must have it all.

Then there’s another sneakier greed that is ever pervasive in our society.

You can be considered greedy when you only invest in your own self interest. 

This manifests in different ways. See if any of these things speak to your heart:

We’ll ask our friends to buy the junk our kid is selling but we won’t buy their kid’s junk and if we do, you can bet it will be the cheapest thing on the list even if we don’t need it.

We wouldn’t dream of baking a lasagna for a potluck when we’re on a diet. We can’t eat it so neither should anyone else.

And seriously? They want us to volunteer in children’s ministry at our church. We don’t even have children in children’s ministry!

An offering to missions? Sure! Count me in! Okay, let’s see, I am going to Chili’s after church to eat so I’ll need $20.00 and I only have $23.00, so I’ll give $3. Oh wait, what if there is tax or I decide to have dessert?

My husband needs t-shirts but oh, this purse is so cute! I’ll buy him 2 instead of 5 and I’ll get myself a little treat for thinking of him. WIN WIN!!

Can you think of other examples?  Greed is subtle. We don’t even see that we have it. It’s time to take a good look at ourselves. We’ve been blessed with so much. Let’s be a blessing.

An Uncomfortable Thought

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worship

I first visited my current church in 1999. After coming from a big church with great programs we had moved to a smaller town and therefore a smaller church. Was the word sound? Yes. There wasn’t a band just background music and singers. You had to work to be a part of the congregation. On our third visit there were chastised for sitting in certain seats and told to move and take it up with the pastor if we didn’t like it. We got called into a meeting to ask why we didn’t laugh at jokes.

I asked my husband to please move churches. He said no. He explained that the word was sound and scripture was accurate. Instead, he asked me to look to God and see where I could help and what I could pray for. He assured me that if the Lord prompted us to move we would. I wish I could tell you that I received this well, but I can’t tell you that truthfully. I am eternally grateful for the lesson though.

Now 14 years later here I am. Same place. I love our church. It’s not perfect because we’re human. We have a band now. I wish we had some gospel, but I no longer worry about the music. I just sing. I see people who are trying to love Jesus. I see people who help each other.  They have their pluses and minuses of me as well and it’s more than likely fair. I don’t worry about it. We’re a family. They got me through the death of my husband and loved and judged me through my new marriage. I have done the same with them. Don’t worry, we all repent and get back up and love again. It’s just our flesh. Today, as before, I just see where I can help and see what I can pray for. I look towards the Lord for direction.

Today an uncomfortable thought came as I studied the word.

What if I had my way all those years ago and I had left the church?

That question led to more uncomfortable thoughts:

  • What would I have learned about Spirit guiding spirit? I wouldn’t have. I would have fed myself.
  • What if I decided the Pepto Bismol walls and wallpaper border were just over the top? Well, actually, I did decide they were over the top but what if that had been my measurement of whether to stay or go? By the way, the color was that of the one above.
  • What if I wanted a band like the one I was used to? I would have missed the process of the forming of the band we have now.
  • Would I have learned to love God and love his people? No, I would have learned that this Christianity is about me and what is good for me.
  • What if I had changed churches like I’ve changed diets? Church would have become a fad of what the masses are doing and not what I’m called to do.
  • What would my spirit look like if I only had it my way? I’d be fat, dumb and happy in the flesh, but I would not have learned obedience and comfort are two distinct things and not everything is about me.

I met a friend for lunch. “How’s your church?”, I asked. “It’s not what I’m used to, but until God says move, I’ll stay.” I smiled and reached for her hand, “I understand!”

I have learned through all of this that God is in control. He puts us where he needs us and he doesn’t ask opinions. He expects that when we get to a certain point in our walk with him, that we walk in obedience not always in comfort. So what will you do? Will you stay where you’re at until you’re called to move? Or you will wander, until you get what you want? Will you murmur and complain or will you work to love? I’m praying that you hear him clearly lead you in the direction you are destined to follow.

Breakthough

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How does a mother know her child is about to breakthrough her body? Her water breaks and the most intense pain on the planet begins.

Chuck Yeager said that just before you breakthrough the sound barrier the cockpit shakes the most.

So is it shaking and quaking and are you living with anticipation and trepidation and revelation? Then you know the breakthrough is coming. Buckle up, smile and give the thumbs up! Your time is now!

Baby, We Can Talk About Anything

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Wedding-Hands

 

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

This scripture was part of our marriage class homework. I read it thoughtfully. Are there any areas of my marriage in which I don’t feel safe bringing up a topic?

You see, the word perfect here doesn’t mean perfect, it actually means mature. Mature love casts out fear. Since we’re works in progress there may be areas of our marriage in which we are not yet perfected. In my marriage I discovered that there isn’t a topic I’m afraid to bring up. BUT there are topics I know will bring about a discussion and raise the heat level.

I love how these truths are revealed with a minuscule of honest thought process. So what about you? Are there areas in your life where there is fear? If so, don’t wait for someone else to deal with it. You need to do the work to deal with it. Perfect the love in your life!

Walking It Out TLC4Women’s New Season

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TLC4Women is getting ready to start its new year. It’s a special year for us since it’s our Seventh! I can’t tell you how excited I am to be with this group of women and the new ones they will bring to the class.

When TLC first started we started because we wanted a different kind of bible study. One that would bless us as women, teach us the word, and give practical tips to applying principles to our lives to make it better. I wanted a group with a promise. One that said, if you’ll come and study, your life will change. The banner over our ministry was “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” Romans 12:2 so Transforming Life Center was birthed.

On Monday we will all gather to worship, to pray, to set the pace for how walking this life out will look like in the 2013-2014 season. We plan on tackling three big areas this year.

1. What are the weapons of our warfare as women and daughters of the Most High King? Prayer, praise, tenacity, and a strong love of God and his Word.

2. What does it mean to be a disciple and even better what does it mean to make a disciple?

3. Who is the Holy Spirit and how do we keep him at the forefront guarding our steps and making sure we don’t break our ankles?

Prayer, Disciples, Praise, all led by the Holy Spirit and that would be a great year but we have to more to learn. Then we’re going to study the Prophet Malachi. Word for word, verse by verse. Who was he and what can he teach us?

It’s going to be a great year and I can’t wait! See you all on Monday at 7.

Giving in the Smallest Way

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corn

Hosea 10:12 Sow righteousness, reap love. It’s time to till the ready earth, it’s time to dig in with God, Until he arrives with righteousness ripe for harvest.

My husband is a pastor. His role is to attend to the things God has given him. In our yard there is a bird feeder that Doug put up  years ago. I tease him each time he fills it. “Helping God out huh?” He smiles and season after season he puts the bird seed in the feeder. The birds are amazing and you can learn a lot from them. They take only their daily bread. They don’t store for the future, they don’t fight over food. They somehow know they’ll each have enough. I watch them as they eat their meal then fly off and another group stops to grab a bite. It’s entertaining and makes me smile. Our dogs surprisingly ignore their chatter, our cat swishes her tale back and forth menacingly from inside the family room window.

Then one day a corn stalk sprouted. Just like that.  A harvest for faithfulness. Because even when giving in the smallest way, there is the law of sowing and reaping. It’s a principle sent from heaven to rest on earth. There is no getting around it. Whatever word or action you speak will return multiplied.

Sow righteousness and love and may your day reap a plentiful harvest of every good and perfect gift from our Lord today!

The Two Dogs

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A MAN had two dogs: a Hound, trained to assist him in his sports, and a Housedog, taught to watch the house. When he returned home after a good day’s sport, he always gave the Housedog a large share of his spoil. The Hound, feeling much aggrieved at this, reproached his companion, saying, “It is very hard to have all this labor, while you, who do not assist in the chase, luxuriate on the fruits of my exertions.” The Housedog replied, “Do not blame me, my friend, but find fault with the master, who has not taught me to labor, but to depend for subsistence on the labor of others.”

Children are not to be blamed for the faults of their parents.

Translated by George Fyler Townsend. Aesop’s Fables (p. 36). Amazon Digital Services, Inc..

It’s About ME!

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“She’s got tickets to her own show. But nobody wants to go.” ~ Adam Levine

I love this picture because it shows perfectly what is going on these days. Have you noticed the increase in selfies everywhere? They have to show their makeup, their hairstyle, they have to look longingly at the camera, and every day there has to be a new triumphant picture. There is nothing of a thought process or a growth process, it’s all about ME!! Sure, a great picture of yourself once in a while is great, don’t get me wrong. I love to look at pictures of your vacation, or things you find important, it’s just that you find yourself important each and every day. What is really going on with you? That’s the conversation. What really are you about? That’s what forms our friendship.

“You’re perfect on the outside but nothing at the core.” ~ Adam Levine

Try to form a real friendship and get to the heart of matters and narcissists shut down into comedy or lies. It’s interesting too because the self absorbed narcissist doesn’t even bother to remember the lies.

A new analysis of the American Freshman Survey, which has accumulated data for the past 47 years from 9 million young adults, reveals that college students are more likely than ever to call themselves gifted and driven to succeed, even though their test scores and time spent studying are decreasing. ~ Keith Abloom

Read more:

Gifted in what, is what I’d like to ask? Make up, hair, and clothing of course, but could they compete at a college level, high school level, or elementary school level in education? Probably not as the US is ranked 17th out of 40 developed countries in education, yet we spend the most per child, but that’s a different topic. And to what end? At what point do we stop measuring the exterior and get to what matters? What happens when we do and the house of cards comes falling down?

That’s really the unavoidable end, by the way. False pride can never be sustained. The bubble of narcissism is always at risk of bursting. That’s why young people are higher on drugs than ever, drunker than ever, smoking more, tattooed more, pierced more and having more and more and more sex, earlier and earlier and earlier, raising babies before they can do it well, because it makes them feel special, for a while. They’re doing anything to distract themselves from the fact that they feel empty inside and unworthy. ~ Keith Ablow

And the farther we go down the trail of narcissism, the more blame gets put on the people who are trying to bring some reality to the fake picture of pride. They are labeled jealous, mean, judgmental, haters of the narcissists beauty. In the greek mythology story of Narcissus, where we get the word narcissist, he was a beautiful hunter who was proud and who hated those who loved him because he was only in love with himself. Until one day he looked in a pond and fell in love with his image and there he died staring at himself. There isn’t much of a difference between Narcissus and the narcissists of today. They are dying without realizing that their idol worship has cost them their lives.

It’s funny how you say that you made it on your own when you haven’t worked for anyone your daddy didn’t know. ~ Adam Levine