Category: Ministry

Small Church Big Problem

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A question posed by a reader goes like this:

Message: A female friend of mine had a brief affair with another member of the church. My friend sang in the choir with the man and his wife. The couple were longtime members with extended family members. My friend is single. The affair was exposed and everyone in the church was aware. My friend was asked to find another church by the pastor. She was upset that she was asked to leave, but I couldn’t understand why she wanted to continue attending services there. Was the pastor wrong? Just wondering. Addition: her sister recently moved in with her and plans on attending the same church and sing in the choir. This is a small community church just several blocks from their residence. This all seems pretty bizarre to me and asking for friction.

This breaks my heart for the congregation that is dealing with the fallout of this. It just goes to show that although sin is personal, it’s never private as it affects many and in this case it affects an entire church. It’s impossible for me, and maybe for you, to know what the details of this case are within the church.

Biblically we are supposed to try and restore a brother/sister caught in a fall. Then there’s the Corinthian church in the New Testament, where the son was having an affair with his stepmother and when he was asked to stop he refused, so they put him out of the church until he repented. I guess the question would be then, was there repentance? If there was repentance was there an attempt to restoration?

So let’s say the Pastor is really trying to do his job biblically. Did perhaps your friend not fully understand the ramifications of her action and therefore was put out of the church because there was no repentance? Obviously she’d have to step down from her ministry of worship and submit to the restoration process. Was this done willingly by your friend? If the husband wasn’t asked to leave was it because he showed true repentance and has submitted to the restoration process? The pastor and the church must consider that people who looked up to your friend as a member of her church family and even those in the community as the talk spreads but the details don’t, are affected by the hearts and actions of those involved.

One thing is for sure, the sister who has moved to town and wants to attend the church shouldn’t be penalized for her sister’s actions. I think in a small community church this actually could be hard on her since some may judge her by her sister’s action. Hopefully this group is more matured than that. I agree with you that it seems easier to find another church and avoid the mess altogether. Could it be that the sisters are a certain denomination and this church may be their only option to practice their faith?

Sorry I can’t be more helpful. I sincerely hope that everyone stay focused on Jesus right now and that you all continue to pray for your friend as well as the couple who all have repairs to make, not only internally, to each other, to the congregation and to their faith and God ultimately.

Thank you for reading and if you have further questions I will do my best to answer.

Francis Chan’s Erasing Hell

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I have to admit when I heard that Francis Chan had written a book called Erasing Hell, I sucked in my breath. I mean the title is ambiguous and this book coming off the recent Rob Bell controversy, where he dismisses the Christian view of hell, was a little unsettling to say the least. I loved Forgotten God and wondered if Francis Chan would also drink the punch and attempt to erase hell? Say it ain’t so, I thought. So I bought the book and brought it home.

My husband, Doug and I sat down to read the book together over an afternoon. At first, Doug’s exasperated comment was, “What are we reading?” , in a tone that was displeased at my selection. Then we began to dive in. We read, keeping an open mind as was suggested in the book. We allowed questions that maybe we had squashed deep in our soul, to rise to the forefront of our mind. Granted, somehow it just seemed wrong to ever question why God chose to do things the way he does, but Chan’s transparency allowed us to at least form the question in a tangible way. Had the church today, pointing directly at ourselves, preached the palatable parts of the bible and neglected the very thing people really needed to hear?

Where Francis Chan hit a nerve with me was when he asked if the street corner preachers who are screaming about hell were actually doing more than I was? After all, I cringe when I see them and have said out loud that I think they do more harm than good to the faith. Yet, I couldn’t deny that what they were saying was true. Yikes, what an ugly feeling I had about my responsibility to humanity.

I loved that the book took the time to study out what Jesus said about hell, in the context of his Jewish faith and in the time he lived out his time on earth. I am a person who studies with an open concordance, dictionary, lexicons and commentaries so this appealed to me. Doug was eerily quiet through our reading. It wasn’t until the conclusion that we breathed a sigh of relief at the outcome of the study and then discussed where we felt we were at in the whole process.

We both concluded that this book deserves a read and a frank conversation. The bottom line is people are dying with a lot of different ideas which have no basis in fact and like it or not, we have a responsibility to at least take a chance and speak up.

Taking a ride on a train in Napa, we sat across from a woman who was wearing three necklaces. The first was a cross, the second was rabbit’s foot and the third was a buddha. Doug asked her what the significance of the necklaces were and she answered him sincerely, “I’m covering all my bases.” Admittedly that’s as far as the conversation went. The conversations of mercy and grace are easy, but it doesn’t negate the conversations about where people will spend eternity and that, my friends, is what we should be about. A million thanks to Francis Chan for boldly asking questions that demand soul searching answers.

Buy the book read it, if you’re like us, you’ll finish the entire thing in a few hours and search your heart. Where do you stand? What do you believe? It’s important to know.

Hitting The Wall

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Luke 5:16 As often as possible Jesus withdrew to out-of-the-way places for prayer.

While listening to the radio the other day on my drive to work, a runner was describing his ability to run 30 miles a day without hitting the wall. Hitting the wall is a term runners use to describe what happens when they are running and suddenly they feel extreme fatigue and loss of energy.

He went on to describe that endurance runners, those who run long distances even cross country, know that slow and steady are the keys to avoiding hitting the wall. He said there was a formula to endurance and that was to run and recover, run and recover, run and recover.

I began to think of ministry and how often we run but don’t recover and we end up hitting the wall. Jesus seemed to understand that the demands on his life required him to run and recover often. Over and over again in Scripture, Jesus heals, meets needs, preaches, teaches and then goes off to recover. Sometimes he takes his disciples with him. Other times he goes off alone but always he is running and recovering and endurance doesn’t seem to be a problem.

How often do you get away to pray alone? Do you make time and have a place in your life where the cell phone and the demands of daily life get left behind and the only thing that goes with you is a desire to pray and hear from God? Are you like some who are hitting the wall and wondering why you aren’t fulfilled in your calling and why you can’t seem to push beyond a certain place in your ministry?

Sometimes the most urgent thing you can do is rest. ~ Anonymous

If there is anything I have learned this year it’s to run and recover without regret. I used to feel lazy if I took a day off to sleep and rest. No longer is that a thought in my head. I use to feel bad if someone knocked on my front door on my day off and I didn’t want to answer. Not anymore. You see, I understand that if I am going to run this race to the finish, then endurance is key and recovery is necessary. It’s not an option. We must learn to be strategic. We must learn to not bow to every urgent need but instead focus and not lose sight nor neglect the important things in life.

1 Corinthians 9:24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27 No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

How Do We Get Anything Done?

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Recently a religious woman in our town threw an accusation my way. “You know, she admits to listening to secular music.” Wow! I thought. That’s the worse thing I do? Well then, I must be in pretty good shape!

Where do we as Christians get the idea that everything is evil and nothing is good?

“No pants on women, it makes them look like men.” 

“Don’t say Oh My God! It’s taking the Lord’s Name in Vain.”

“No sleeveless blouses on women, armpits are evil.” 

okay I made up the armpits are evil but really what is the reason a woman can’t show her shoulders in public?

“No crosses whatsoever, they are demonic!”  

Okay but in movies they ward off vampires….just saying…..

“HIDE! On Halloween.”

Uh, because this is the only day the LORD didn’t make right? (Insert sarcastic snicker here)

“Dance at the altar before the Lord or you are not really worshiping.” 

“Don’t dance at the altar before the Lord. This is not a disco!”

“Contemporary music is just a fad, hymns will come back.”

“You can’t watch a rated R movie, but look the other way, and pass the cash over to your kids so they can go see it.”  

“No spaghetti straps on dresses.” 

This is especially true if you even remotely attractive.

“NO Jewelry!”

This is critical if you are someone in danger of making a golden calf.

Can you think of more?

Then let’s go to the other spectrum:

“We live together because if we got married, I’d lose my benefits. God sees my heart.”

“I taught Sunday School before. Let someone else have a turn.”

 This is usually followed by a rant about children today.

“I don’t report my tips to the IRS. They don’t need my money.”

“I work part-time because otherwise my ex would get her back child support.” 

Bible study? Girl, I’ve read the bible several times, what can you teach me?” 

It’s not gossip if it’s true. 

I’m just wondering at what point we stop fighting each other, live out what the word says, quit making excuses and speaking in half truths, which are lies we tell ourselves to make us feel good, and get on with the business at hand? What is the business at hand? To reach out to people who are hurting and show them a Jesus who loves them, not because they look right, act right or are right, but because he just does.

Christianity without discipleship is always Christianity without Christ. –Dietrich Bonhoeffer

How do we get anything done when we won’t stop living in religious fear and condemnation of one another. As I told the TLC women recently, “What makes you right?”

What Measure?

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Matthew 26:6 When Jesus was at Bethany, a guest of Simon the Leper, 7 a woman came up to him as he was eating dinner and anointed him with a bottle of very expensive perfume. 8 When the disciples saw what was happening, they were furious. “That’s criminal! 9 This could have been sold for a lot and the money handed out to the poor.” 10 When Jesus realized what was going on, he intervened. “Why are you giving this woman a hard time? She has just done something wonderfully significant for me. ~”The Message”

If you’re still measuring out your offering then you haven’t discovered His worth yet. ~Klaus

Inviting The Pastor To Dinner

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Someone asked recently what the etiquette was for inviting the Pastor over for dinner. It’s the same as with anyone else. Some tips to remember:

  • Pastors are normal people so discuss normal things. Theological discussions aren’t off-limits nor are they they only thing a pastor can talk about.
  • Discussions about church are not off-limits but questions about other people are.
  • They don’t get many invitations. Mainly because people don’t know what to expect. So keep it real but respectful.
  • Don’t invite the Pastor over with a hidden agenda of counseling or complaints. Invite him over because you’d like to break bread with him and have a relaxing time.
  • Please feel free to pray for the meal. A Pastor is not put out if he gives the blessing or not.
  • Be authentic. The Pastor isn’t looking trying to make you feel uncomfortable.

Keep Me From Stupid Sins

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What a way to start a day!

Psalm 19:1 God’s glory is on tour in the skies, God-craft on exhibit across the horizon. 2 Madame Day holds classes every morning, Professor Night lectures each evening. 3 Their words aren’t heard, their voices aren’t recorded, 4 But their silence fills the earth: unspoken truth is spoken everywhere. God makes a huge dome for the sun – a superdome! 5 The morning sun’s a new husband leaping from his honeymoon bed, The daybreaking sun an athlete racing to the tape. 6 That’s how God’s Word vaults across the skies from sunrise to sunset, Melting ice, scorching deserts, warming hearts to faith. 7 The revelation of God is whole and pulls our lives together. The signposts of God are clear and point out the right road. 8 The life-maps of God are right, showing the way to joy. The directions of God are plain and easy on the eyes. 9 God’s reputation is twenty-four-carat gold, with a lifetime guarantee. The decisions of God are accurate down to the nth degree. 10 God’s Word is better than a diamond, better than a diamond set between emeralds. You’ll like it better than strawberries in spring, better than red, ripe strawberries. 11 There’s more: God’s Word warns us of danger and directs us to hidden treasure. 12 Otherwise how will we find our way? Or know when we play the fool? 13 Clean the slate, God, so we can start the day fresh! Keep me from stupid sins, from thinking I can take over your work; Then I can start this day sun-washed, scrubbed clean of the grime of sin. 14 These are the words in my mouth; these are what I chew on and pray. Accept them when I place them on the morning altar, O God, my Altar-Rock, God, Priest-of-My-Altar. – “The Message”

What A Man Needs

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When is a man ready for a relationship that leads to marriage? I teach this to our girls in youth group. Five things God gave Adam before he gave him a wife. Today I was reminded of the teaching so I thought I’d share it with you. It’s not my original thought. In fact, I got it from Dr. Myles Munroe back in 1992-93-ish but it’s still powerful knowledge today.

Genesis 2:7 the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

So we begin to see an order in God’s design of man. The first was relationship with God above all. A man whose need for a savior is foremost in his life is on the right path.

Genesis 2:8 Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed.

Although the Lord was Adam’s father, Adam had his own place to live.

Genesis 2:15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

Adam had a job. Need I say more?

Genesis 2:16 And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”

Adam lived within order and within the parameters of the laws set before him.

Genesis 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.

Adam reached a point in his life where he recognized the need for help-meet. He recognized that he had God, but that there was something missing.

God in his infinite wisdom led Adam down a path of order to a point where he realized he wanted to share his life with another living being. So often, we circumvent the process in an attempt to make things happen by our own hand. Perhaps this is why the divorce rate is so high. Perhaps this is why there are so many unwed mothers and absent dads. We didn’t recognize the need for each other. When we don’t know the purpose of something we tend to abuse or misuse what we’ve been given. If we are given things we didn’t yet earn, we don’t value it.

I love that I have women in their 20’s who see me around town and remember the teaching they received in high school. I’ll hear, “Pastora, he has three, as they hold up three fingers, but you know me, I’m waiting for the five!” In their age group one of the things they are missing is the need. Let’s be wise! Let’s wait until he’s ready. We’ve been playing house since we can remember but men have been busy playing war. He needs to conquer some things first, let’s be at peace with that.