Category: Jesus

Playing The Field

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James 4:1 Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. 2 You lust for what you don’t have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn’t yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it. 3 And why not? Because you know you’d be asking for what you have no right to. You’re spoiled children, each wanting your own way. 4 You’re cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way.5 And do you suppose God doesn’t care? The proverb has it that “he’s a fiercely jealous lover.” 6 And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you’ll find. It’s common knowledge that “God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble.” 7 So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. 8 Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. 9 Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. 10 Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.

11 Don’t bad-mouth each other, friends. It’s God’s Word, his Message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You’re supposed to be honoring the Message, not writing graffiti all over it. 12 God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others? 13 And now I have a word for you who brashly announce, “Today – at the latest, tomorrow – we’re off to such and such a city for the year. We’re going to start a business and make a lot of money.” 14 You don’t know the first thing about tomorrow. You’re nothing but a wisp of fog, catching a brief bit of sun before disappearing. 15 Instead, make it a habit to say, “If the Master wills it and we’re still alive, we’ll do this or that.” 16 As it is, you are full of your grandiose selves. All such vaunting self-importance is evil. 17 In fact, if you know the right thing to do and don’t do it, that, for you, is evil. -The Message

Those Teachable Moments

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This week, a homeless couple came to the church looking for help. The girl looked not much over 18 if that, the boy looked about that age. Dirty, walking around town, they walked into our doors. We talked to them and discovered they had no place to stay for the night. Pastor Doug got out a food voucher for the grocery store and paid for a night in a motel.

The next day they were back at the church again looking for another food voucher and another night at a hotel. I asked what their story was. The girl told me that her parents live in our city! I was amazed to say the least. I asked her why she wasn’t staying with them. She promptly told me that they were of the Apostolic faith and they did not approve of her shacking up with her boyfriend. They would not allow her to stay there. Or rather, she corrected, she could stay there but he could not. The following day they were back again. Looking for more help they confessed that her aunt and uncle had taken them in for a night but she had argued with her uncle because he had stipulations to their stay.  He made her leave his home since she could not respect his home. I felt bad for them but my husband put it all in perspective for our family and I want to share it with you. He used it as an example to our children.

He said in this way, ‘This is why we think it’s so important that you follow our rules. We aren’t being harsh but we expect for you guys to help out around the house, be respectful and do things we ask of you. This young couple didn’t learn that lesson. They were given a home to stay in when they were homeless. Instead of being grateful for the roof, they instead began to argue with the owner. Because they never learned obedience they were unable to see the blessing they were being given. For us now to help them in their rebellion to her parents would not be the right thing to do. The best thing for this girl to do is to go home to her family and for her boyfriend to go to his parents home and to begin on the right foot.’

It impacted me because their dilemma was a product of their disobedience. They would rather be homeless than conform to the rules of their parent’s home and yet, were unable to support themselves and wanted others to help. Even after Pastor Doug had said all of this to this girl, she persisted in coming by the church each day. This girl was very determined and said she would not leave the church until she spoke directly to the pastor. In this moment, she didn’t have the sense to realize she didn’t have the power to demand anything.

I began to see a picture of her as a child in the grocery store saying, “Mom can I have a candy?” Her mother answering, “Not today.” “Mom, plllleeaaaseeee can I have a candy.” “Not today.” “Mooooommmmmm, please can I have candy? Mom, mom, mom, mom, please just one?” Her mother angry at her daughter’s persistence sighing and responding, “FINE! GO GET YOUR CANDY.”

It’s in those little teachable moments where character is built. The bible says to let our yes be yes and our no be no but how often do we give in? Would we still give in if we could see the bigger picture of the future? When our desire becomes one where no one is ever unhappy, we do whatever it takes knowing it’s the wrong thing to do.  I wonder, do we become accountable later for the results we created?

I do feel bad for this girl but not how you may think. I feel bad that no one ever taught her how to live within the rules of freedom. It came home in an example in our home immediately this week. One of our kids had refused to do their laundry on their day. When their dad asked why not they proudly stood up, hands on hips and said, “What difference does it make to you when I do it?” See, the point is not when you want to do it, the point is when it’s time to do it.This weekend when the same child wanted to go to the movies at a certain time guess what happened? Dad quietly said, “What difference does it make when I take you as long as I take you?” I think the lesson has been learned at least in our home.

Those of you who are still raising kids please read this and learn a valuable lessons. We can’t save our kids from all heartache but we can help in teaching early lessons that help later. Those of you who have raised your children but they are still sponging because of this exact thing, I pray that you let your yes be yes and your no be no. I know it hurts when our children are in pain and I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to have my daughter running around homeless and I pray I never have to know but it is all about choices and those little teachable moments.

Grace

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2 Corinthians 6:1 We then, as workers together with Him also plead with you  not to receive the grace of God in vain.

Grace. We sing about it and we thank God for it but what is it? Grace for the most part is a word thrown around that isn’t quite understood. So it’s no wonder that most of us do receive the grace of God in vain because we don’t understand it and so therefore, we don’t use it wisely.To use anything to its full potential we must know its purpose.

Grace in the American Heritage dictionary is defined as;

Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion.

A characteristic or quality pleasing for its charm or refinement.

A sense of fitness or propriety.

A disposition to be generous or helpful; goodwill. Mercy; clemency. A favor rendered by one who need not do so; indulgence.A temporary immunity or exemption; a reprieve.

So then does Grace mean God moves around effortlessly and so we shouldn’t receive it in vain? It could, I suppose, include this in that we shouldn’t take him for granted because he’s always there for us. Sure, we can be more appreciative and grateful for his grace.

Is it the sense of fitness or propriety? Well, it can be as well. We must always be reverent to the Lord. There is a certain way to approach him. He is after all the King of kings.

But here in this scripture and what I am blogging about today is the last definitions of; A disposition to be generous or helpful; goodwill; Mercy; clemency; A favor rendered by one who need not do so; indulgence; A temporary immunity or exemption; a reprieve.

See, grace is like that hall pass that you use to move from the classroom to the office without getting in trouble by the hall monitor. Grace is a favor God is giving you when he doesn’t have to. Grace is what your parents give when you wreck their car and they let you drive the only car left in the family when they didn’t have to. Grace is the credit card company accepting your late payment without interest or penalty.

When we get these kinds of breaks we should be thankful. It should cause us to be more careful the next time, it should cause us to think before we act. Too often though, the grace that God bestows goes unnoticed or worse, taken for granted. “I know I can sin and I’ll repent later because I know God will forgive me.” This is what it means to receive the grace of God in vain. It would be as if the thief, pardoned by the judge is free from jail time and goes out to rob again. It was a useless pardon. Better the judge would have saved his breath.Grace was not designed to illicit this kind of ungrateful, unrepentant behavior. Rather, grace was designed for acknowledgment of the wrong doing and a change in behavior. Repentance, is a turning away from the sin and a return down the right path.

Grace in its very essence empowers you to do what truth demands of you. Truth demands a righteous life, truth demands that you change the way things are done. Grace is freely given by God but do not mistake grace for weakness. Grace is anything but weak. It is a powerful tool that is bestowed to bring about a change. While God may grant grace, he doesn’t set out to fix you, only you can do that.

Pro Age

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I love the Dove pro age campaign. I was one who had a problem with the term anti-aging, the alternative being grim. While I don’t want to look or feel old I am not ready to die either. Do you ever just take a long look in the mirror and see how your body is changing? For me ,over the last year or so, I’ve seen some major changes. In the past, weight being so easy to maintain is becoming a struggle. My gynecologist says <em>at my age</em> I have to double my workout routine. I have to be honest and say I don’t feel old enough to be a woman who “at my age” comments need to be made.

I see little lines beginning to form on my face and my skin beginning to feel like my moms. I had to laugh when a man came to me after church service. He said that he had to give me credit because when I raised my arms my skin doesn’t flop around like other women my age. (There’s that at your age comment again)! Uh, I didn’t know what to say to that. Thanks? Do you ever wish people had a filter?

I don’t know if I’ll ever have plastic surgery. I am not against it, I’m just scared to have surgery but will vanity outweigh fear at some point? I can’t say for sure. Age has taught me to never say never. (Okay, now I’m doing the “at my age” stuff). For now, I am perplexed and sometimes a little freaked out over the changes I see. I have gray hair coming in. Not a lot so far, I have seen about a dozen strands but they are there nevertheless, my stylist calls them “the nine”. So I have to keep my hair appointments going so they don’t show. Thank you Jesus that dye was created!

I am learning not to take my body for granted anymore. I am trying to eat better, exercise more and take life a little easier. In my mind I don’t feel old though. I guess I am beginning to understand why my mom randomly says, “How is it that I have a daughter who is 44?” Age just creeps up on you.

When I look at the lines that are beginning to appear I have to say I have earned them. Life hasn’t been easy but it’s been an adventure. So many people come to Christ expecting that it’s like finding a genie in a bottle. Problem with that is that the bible doesn’t say life will be a piece of cake, it says to gain your life you have to lose your life. Sounds complicated but it really isn’t. You just begin to live for things outside of yourself. You begin to focus on the bigger picture. Suddenly it’s not all about you.

In this picture I look comfortable with myself even though I have no makeup on. I struggled whether to post it or not because it’s not my best look but whatever. To me, I look like I’ve figured out who I am. I have learned to be at peace with myself. I look at my eyes in this picture and it looks to me like I have a secret of well-being and a sense of humor. Here’s the secret: Life is meant to be lived, not to be observed, so make the very best of each situation. Trials and heartache are going to come but God was right when he said this too shall pass. I’ll leave you with this question. One year ago today what were you worried about? Most of the time, we don’t even remember what it was but at the time it was super important. So just enjoy your life. How’s that for a woman my age?

He Is A Confidant

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The word confidant means trustworthy, the one with whom secrets are entrusted. That’s what I love about making my Lord my secret keeper is that he is good at it. I just pour out my heart to him and he keeps it. He’s trustworthy like no other person I have ever met. He is one who can keep my heart. You see, he tells me;

Proverbs 4:23 – Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Often though, women tend to give their hearts away as if they can grow another. We can’t and we aren’t supposed to. We are to guard our own hearts. We can share our hearts and that’s a wonderful thing but we don’t let go of it. That is against what we know to be the will of God. So when we say to someone, “You broke my heart.” Well, you gave it when you shouldn’t have. At any moment you need to be able to handle your heart.

God is good at being trustworthy with your heart. He is trustworthy and whether you believe it or not is, he has your best interest at heart. I was raised Catholic and my idea of God was one in which I saw a Moses looking figure on a throne waiting to electrocute me with a flash from his finger. When I was older and really saw his heart towards me I realized he wanted to be my dad. He wanted to hear my worries, he wanted to hear my dreams, he wanted to hear my fears and my accomplishments. He wanted a relationship with me where he could listen and speak. He wanted to be my confidant.

I trust him with all of my being to know me enough to not ever step on my heart. The man you are looking for can be your confidant. He may fumble your heart, but remember you are there to catch it so that it doesn’t harm you, but it will truly not be malicious or thought out. We all fail each other at times. Overall though, he must have the character of God.

Wine Bibber

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Pastor Susan,

Is it wrong to drink alcohol if you are a Christian?

Ahhhh! I knew I’d get in trouble with these questions. Let me say that this is only my personal opinion based on scripture.

There are two camps. One that says, alcohol is not for those of us who follow Christ. Some in this camp say, wine was different in Jesus time, and the wine he made for the wedding wasn’t real wine. That is false, it was the best wine at the wedding according to scripture. I’ve heard that it was Palastine wine and had little or no alcohol. I guess my question with this train of thought is, if it wasn’t alcohol as we know it, then why was Jesus called a wine bibber? In today’s terms it means a person who drinks too much wine.

Camp Two says the bible doesn’t say don’t drink. The bible says don’t get drunk. This is the camp I’m in. Getting drunk impairs your judgment so I believe this is what God was cautioning us about. Free will is something that is important to God and therefore to us. I don’t think we should drink while we work. In fact, the bible says a judge shouldn’t drink while he’s judging. A king shouldn’t drink while he’s leading. It impairs judgement.

So this means that you have to search your own heart to see where you stand. You can’t make doctrine for it so it becomes a matter of opinion. I had a woman tell me once that no one drinks because they like the taste of alcohol, they drink because they want to get drunk. This is not true. I happen to know someone personally who although doesn’t drink but a glass of wine maybe two or three times a year, knows the difference between good wine and not.

Then there are the health studies. Red wine is supposed to be good for your heart if you drink one glass 2 to 3 times a week. Other studies say red wine opens the door to cancer in women. You have to be wise enough to think all these things through for yourself.

I heard a Pastor preach once that if Jesus were alive today, he would walk into a bar, order a beer and try to teach the people in that bar about the kingdom. I have to be honest and say I don’t doubt that and I don’t get hung up on it. He would be reaching for the lost. Does that mean I will be hanging out in bars? Nah, it’s not my thing and I believe in the scripture that says give no appearance of evil. Too many people would judge you without knowledge. Bottom line in this line of thinking is; can you represent Christ and would you take him with you to the places that you go.

Now, just because you become a believer doesn’t mean that if you were an alcoholic you can go back to drinking. You can’t take your liberties at the expense of your health. You also can’t go offending people who do not drink by drinking in front of them. Also, if the religious group you happen to be a part of has a rule of no alcohol, then you agree to their terms and must honor them. Let me know if that really answers your question.

TLC4Women

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As the TLC summer series comes to a close it’s time once again to set the vision for the new year and to remind the women who are a part of TLC about what our goals were from the start.

Transforming Life Center was started with the premise that once we were born again, we had to learn to live a new life in Christ. This meant we had to leave a lot of the things we knew before behind so that we could learn new things that would take us to the purpose and plan of who we are.

Romans 12:2-And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Romans 12:2 is the verse that carries our ministry forward. Our goal in everything we do is to move forward and forget those things that are behind us. In dealing with our pasts once and for all, we then put it behind us as it no longer defines us. Then, applying those things we have learned, we move forward, becoming more aware of who God is and what he is doing in our lives. We aren’t about becoming the Church Ladies, there are enough of those already, we are about becoming disciples of Christ.

So what does TLC have in store for this next year of study?

  • We have four bible studies coming up. We are continual learners and we have a desire to know God more intimately day by day.
  • We have a conference to plan that is just around the corner.  This is a lot of work for us but the end result is that the word goes forth and women’s lives are transformed by the messages that the speakers have for us!
  • We have a scholarship that we are going to give to a deserving senior this next year. We have got to begin to put our words into action. If in fact, we are students for life then we place a high value on education and we will put our efforts where our mouth is.
  • We are mentoring the youth and college-aged women who are coming up behind us. We have a class set up for them that is being put together as we speak. We are taking the charge in Titus of the older women teaching the younger and applying it where it is most needed our youth girls.
  • We are going to work closely with Moms Against Hunger to help feed the world.
  • We have a “detergent ministry” where we go to the laundromats around town and distribute detergent.
  • Finally, this year, we are adopting a child from Compassion Ministries whom we will support with gifts and letters.

Our mandate is big this year but our hearts are strengthened by the word that has already gone forth and been implanted into our ministry. We are pregnant with vision, power, prophesy and courage as we move forward in the new endeavors of this year!

I am proud of these women and look forward to a destiny and purpose that we may think we know but watch God blow our minds!

We’re Lost In A Masquerade

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Hi, how are you?
Me? I’m GREAT! My whole world is fantastic. I am blessed and highly favored. Blah, blah, blah.

Do you ever just wish you could talk to someone honestly about real life things going on in your life? Those of us who profess to follow Christ are supposed to be doing well all the time. Only, HELLO?!!, life happens and even the bible says trials come, so no one promised you perfection.

I believe there is a blessing in honesty that you can’t get behind your feathery, sequined masquerade mask. There is perspective and sometimes there is healing, in opening up to your true self. What scares us about being honest with each other? Well first, there is the judgment. “She’s supposed to be saved and she can’t even get her kids to do their chores.” Uh, yeah, I can’t always. Guess what? God can’t get his kids to do their chores either, so I think I am in good company. When women come to me with their problems often they say something self-effacing, which really saddens me. It’s really sad that we can’t be human with each other. When someone reaches out for help, rather than help, we rejoice that we are not having that same issue in our life therefore, we must be better. We aren’t. We are different but equal.

Second, there is the trustworthy issue. We can’t confide because then, WOOHOOO! LET THE GOSSIPING BEGIN. Because we are so content to be busybodies, we love to have someone to talk about. We judge and gossip, so then we wouldn’t dare tell anyone our problems because we know exactly what they are going to do with information. Exactly what we do. Tell everyone. This has to stop. We have to learn to be confidants to those in our lives. And don’t hide your gossipy self with cryptic gossip either. I remember once this person came to me and said, “Pastor Susan, don’t worry about me. You can feel free to tell me anything. I know lots of stuff about the women here and I haven’t said anything.” When someone says something like this to you RUN! These people love the power of knowing something. While we are here on this subject, Holy Gossip is still gossip. “I want us to pray for Sister Agnes. Her husband is having an affair and we just need to lift her up in prayer.” I hate holy gossip. We have to be trustworthy. Period.

We can’t take our own mask off because then the bloodbath begins. The minute some smell trouble, they run to get a piece of that person. You know, sometimes I wonder if human beings are really as elevated as they proclaim to be? Can we show a little compassion and maybe some love?

Taking off your mask is a big risk but being authentic is what we are called to be. Yet, we all need a place to be authentic and be able to have a soft place to fall. Many people don’t have that. I love that I have friends with whom I can just be honest. I love the fact that I also work hard to be that friend. We need to love one another enough to be honest and then be woman enough to take that honesty without offense and keep that confidence between us.

Decide today that you are going to be a person of value and worth. That means that when someone comes to you they are able to take their mask off for a while and be themselves. In a world that demands you to have it all together be a place of soft landing. Find that person with whom you can take your mask off. Trust me when I tell you that your life will be richer and you will feel better about yourself. I can’t imagine feeling good about faking it. I can’t imagine wearing the mask all the time. I don’t know about you, but I desire a deeper relationship with my friends and loved ones, rather than one in which it’s all a masquerade.

Jealousy

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Jealously makes us do crazy things doesn’t it? The bible says God is jealous and since we are made in his image, then the crazy things we do are justified right? Wrong. Jealously has two distinct aspects to it. One is godly and one is evil. Today I am going to attempt to teach you the difference.

God is jealous for you, not of you. He is never jealous of your accomplishments and successes. He is happy for you. God wants you to be happy and well and wants to look after you. He would never interfere in your life without your permission but he wants the best for you. He guards you and expects you to guard him.

The opposite of God’s jealousy is the evil jealously that permeates our culture, with the need to have what we see others have. It is one where we get hurt and mad and dejected if our girlfriends go out to the movies or to dinner without us. Or our boyfriends and husbands dare to do a guy thing without us. How dare they? Evil jealousy where we don’t have joy over another’s success.

The beautiful jealously, that is worthy and right, is being vigilant of a confidence well guarded with a cherished friend. Godly jealousy is the lunch date you would not cancel with a friend whom you rarely get to see. The time you give to the Lord that is just yours and His alone and that you relish and keep no matter what. It’s the kind of jealousy that you see your best friend’s perfect haircut and you rejoice with her and tell her you are jealous that she has found the right cut for her face but you’d expect and want nothing more for her! It is the joy in finding out your best friend is pregnant when you have been trying for years, your jealousy over your friendship supersedes any malice for what you lack, that she has been blessed with. All of these show that you are jealous for the person and all that they have to offer and not of what they are getting that you are not.

Your God is a jealous God and you are made in his image. That doesn’t excuse the poor behavior that we justify by saying it’s in our nature. There is a difference.

Forgive

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A controversry in our life continues to rear its ugly head. It’s been in a way, transforming. It has challenged and changed us and that was its intention. It has made me examine what I believe and why I believe it. So this is the premise of the blog today. What does it mean to forgive someone and what does that entail from you? First off, we are commanded to forgive if we want to be forgiven.

You see, I have total confidence in my God. I know that we will all face a judgment day and that everything will come out there. Forgiveness is equated as having a heavy burden that we carry around and we choose to release it to God so that we no longer have to be lugging it around. It just damages me to be angry or hurt over things that I can’t go back and fix. We can’t undo what’s already been done.

Forgiveness though, does not mean being reckless with our lives. Sometimes we need to release toxic relationships in our lives and agree to let them go. It would be as if there were a vicious dog in your backyard and each time you went out there he bit your leg and you had to go to the emergency room to have stitches. You’d be crazy to go out there again. Releasing the person from your life and giving them over to God so that He can deal with them as He deals with us is sometimes required.

So forgiveness yes. Forgivneness is for ME! It relieves me from having to carry around unhealthy but do I need to continue the relationship? NOT ALWAYS. They are two separate things and you have to keep them that way. Don’t confuse forgiveness with reconciliation of a relationship. You have choices to make and there are people who are extremely toxic who will contaminate you with their filth. Some things you have to let go.

Forgiveness is like stitches on a wound. The wound still hurts as the stitches are put into place. You have keep the area clean and use antiseptic on it as it heals. You try not to touch it because it hurts. You look at it all the time and it turns red and swells in the midst of the healing. Sometimes, it bleeds and scabs as it heals. These are all painful things as they are happening. But over time, you go back to the doctor to remove the stitches and although the wound is still red and puffy, it’s closed now and sensitive but not as painful. Pretty soon, the reddness begins to turn pink and the puffiness goes away and it doesn’t hurt anywhere close to before. After awhile you look over and it’s a scar. You see the scar and it has a story but it no longer hurts. Most days you don’t even notice the scar. It’s just there. Sometimes a person comes by and notices the scar and asks about it. You tell the story as an afterthought because it isn’t a part of your life anymore. Just something that was once that isn’t anymore. Forgive, it’s not for them, it’s for you.