A controversry in our life continues to rear its ugly head. It’s been in a way, transforming. It has challenged and changed us and that was its intention. It has made me examine what I believe and why I believe it. So this is the premise of the blog today. What does it mean to forgive someone and what does that entail from you? First off, we are commanded to forgive if we want to be forgiven.
You see, I have total confidence in my God. I know that we will all face a judgment day and that everything will come out there. Forgiveness is equated as having a heavy burden that we carry around and we choose to release it to God so that we no longer have to be lugging it around. It just damages me to be angry or hurt over things that I can’t go back and fix. We can’t undo what’s already been done.
Forgiveness though, does not mean being reckless with our lives. Sometimes we need to release toxic relationships in our lives and agree to let them go. It would be as if there were a vicious dog in your backyard and each time you went out there he bit your leg and you had to go to the emergency room to have stitches. You’d be crazy to go out there again. Releasing the person from your life and giving them over to God so that He can deal with them as He deals with us is sometimes required.
So forgiveness yes. Forgivneness is for ME! It relieves me from having to carry around unhealthy but do I need to continue the relationship? NOT ALWAYS. They are two separate things and you have to keep them that way. Don’t confuse forgiveness with reconciliation of a relationship. You have choices to make and there are people who are extremely toxic who will contaminate you with their filth. Some things you have to let go.
Forgiveness is like stitches on a wound. The wound still hurts as the stitches are put into place. You have keep the area clean and use antiseptic on it as it heals. You try not to touch it because it hurts. You look at it all the time and it turns red and swells in the midst of the healing. Sometimes, it bleeds and scabs as it heals. These are all painful things as they are happening. But over time, you go back to the doctor to remove the stitches and although the wound is still red and puffy, it’s closed now and sensitive but not as painful. Pretty soon, the reddness begins to turn pink and the puffiness goes away and it doesn’t hurt anywhere close to before. After awhile you look over and it’s a scar. You see the scar and it has a story but it no longer hurts. Most days you don’t even notice the scar. It’s just there. Sometimes a person comes by and notices the scar and asks about it. You tell the story as an afterthought because it isn’t a part of your life anymore. Just something that was once that isn’t anymore. Forgive, it’s not for them, it’s for you.