Friendship – Page 18 – Pastor Susan

Fat, Dumb and Happy

September 5, 2009 tlc4women1 Comment

I wrote this blog two and a half years ago. So what do you say? Have things changed? Looking forward to your answers.

Fat, dumb and happy, this seems to describe the average American right now. We are the most obese nation in the world as well as, fat with information, education, money, resources, have the most consumerism and yet we can’t be filled. There is simply never enough for us as we consume everything set before us and are left empty and desiring more.

Our children are considered the least educated, compared to the countries that are our counterparts. Our teachers scream they aren’t paid enough and more money would fix the problem yet, we spend per capita the most per student of any of these other countries. We have a powerful political teachers union and what is actually eating the money is, the administration of how it is spent, we spend at the top, recruit the best teachers into administrative positions. Then there is the fact that we have some inept teachers, whom we can’t fire because they have tenure, and we can’t hire new teachers, who are on the ball, because we don’t have the funds.

We no longer teach spelling anymore because as the teachers at my children’s school told us, we don’t need to, we have spell check. But if you didn’t come close to spelling the word in the first place, then it’s of little help. Those of us who read blogs see the spelling errors, and know what I am talking about. And forget sentence structure, I didn’t learn it either. Even the newspapers today have misspelled words.

We watch television for all of our information and we rarely read anything. Try to get someone to read a book and they act like Superman with Kryptonite. Some people actually brag, “I haven’t read a book since high school, bless God!” With the No Child Left Behind Act, at least here in California, kids are being passed and yet they can’t read beyond a third grade level. This limits their potential and I don’t understand what we think they are going to be able to accomplish with their life.

We play video games for hours and hours and we allow our children to play them for hours as well. We ignore the violence in them and call them harmless entertainment. When I was in school we had one overweight kid in our class, his name was Carl. The rest of us were just average sized kids. Drive by any school today and average sized kids aren’t the norm anymore. We are a sedentary group who prefers online chat to riding a bike. When we were kids we played outside after school. The increase in childhood illness increases daily and diabetes and heart disease is being detected earlier and earlier. We’re endangering our children and we don’t seem to mind so much. Fast food is what we eat and Super Size It!

Kids have cell phones, portable DVD players, credit cards, every video game known to man, portable video game players and yet, they are always bored.

We have been lulled into thinking this is life! We’ve been told that to be fat and dumb is to be happy. This is a total lie. The fact is people have never been more miserable. Anti-depressant medication is being prescribed like candy. We have more stuff but it doesn’t fulfill us.

We live in the best country in the world, at least I believe so. People are literally dying to come here. Yet we, who should be thanking God that we live here, complain and act apathetic. We can live a different life. We can live a truly content life but it’s going to take us standing up, deciding not to drink the punch of passivity and getting active. Active in determining that we don’t have to live like the neighbors. Determining to be active as we take control of our health and well being. We need to get active in believing that we can live life more peacefully debt free and giving ourselves to service, rather than to consume all that we have and mortgage our lives away. We can get active by more family activities and less stuff. We can learn to read what is really happening in our world and then actively making positive changes to fix it. We can learn to be properly informed about what is going on in the world and that requires not just reading what our media is telling us, but getting some international news and reading a different perspective. There is a whole world out there that we are missing out on.

There was a time when we interacted with one another, now we text, call on cell phone and email and somehow that makes up for fellowship. Yet studies show that people live longer and more satisfied lives when their life is simple and they meet with friends on a regular basis. So the choice is, fat, dumb and happy or healthy, informed and fulfilled. Seems simple but it requires we get off our collective butts and get moving in the right direction!

There Is Nothing He Wouldn’t Do For Me

September 4, 2009 tlc4women3 Comments

/superlocal/ 1355931714/ Korean men carry their woman's purse!

God loves me. He counted each strand of hair on my head and that’s love because I have a thick head of hair. He knew me before I was in my mother’s womb and he chose me to be his before the foundation of the earth. He moved heaven and earth and he sent his son Jesus in human form legally to buy me back when I was sold in a garden. It cost Jesus his life and the pain and suffering he went through during his life was bad enough, rejected by people and called names and lied on and yet it was not the worst part. They tortured him in the worst way and then hung him on a cross to die a brutal death. While those who professed to love God stood by and mocked him and yelled out. He did all of that for me. So truly there is nothing he wouldn’t do for me.

When choosing a man, you need to choose one that is for you and not against you. A man that knows that when you bear his children your bond to that child will be so strong that you will want to stay home and raise them and that he will be willing to get a second job to support you during that time. He will want to protect you and keep a roof over your head and he will never expect you to carry the weight of the family alone. Your man is looking for a partner. The man you chose is a man who has found his passion in life and he isn’t looking around to see if there is a better-looking woman standing around. He loves you. He isn’t comparing you to anyone. He is willing to get you a glass of water in the middle of the night when you wake up with a migraine. He loves you both with a passionate love that one has for their lover and an enduring love that one has for their best friend. He doesn’t mock your ideas or dreams and he wants and expects the best of everything for you. You are his woman and he is your man and together you build a life worthy of each other. He is committed to the long run.

I listened to Dr. Laura one day as a woman called in. She said that she had just had her breast removed because of stage two cancer. She said she desired her husband but was afraid of sexual intimacy because she didn’t want him to see her like that. Her voice was pained and it touched my heart. She continued and said her husband said he loved HER and not her breast and would do anything for her but she was having a hard time believing that.

Dr. Laura softly said something so profound. She said, that the caller had to believe her husband’s love for her and that as he caressed her body with his hand that she had to know that as his hand caressed over where her breast used to be, that he would gladly give his hand to make her whole again.

That’s a godly man. That’s the kind of man you want.

Street Children

August 28, 2009August 28, 2009 tlc4women3 Comments

During the rebuilding of our church’s building after the fire, we are leasing a store front. Each day there are three boys who play in the parking lot, in the dumpsters, running down the sidewalks, annoying the other offices in our shopping center. They run into our office each time they pass by, “We came for candy and Coke”, they say. Each day that they come by, we give them candy but we don’t drink Coke often so all we have is water which is disappointing to them and they decline.

They generally wreak havoc in the office and then go on to the next office. Today though was different. I was working in what is now the sanctuary. They had found a shopping cart and they were taking turns getting in the cart and running as fast as they could go, before letting the cart go as it ran into cars, windows etc… They got in trouble so they had to let that activity go and they were running around looking for something to get into.

I leave the sanctuary to get a stapler from the office and as I was walking out of the office, I hear the drums and they boys screaming in the sanctuary. I lock up the office and run next door. The scene went like this:

“RUN SHE’S COMING!”
“HANG ON! DON’T RUN! SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW!” This is my best mom voice!
All three of the boys stop dead in their tracks and sit down.
“Now, I’m calling the police because you guys are trespassing.”
“NO! PLEASE DON’T!”
Three boys begin to look really scared.
“Too bad! You guys need to learn a lesson. You can’t just run into places and do whatever you want! There are a lot of expensive things in here and you can’t just go banging on stuff without permission. You have to learn to respect stuff and you have to learn manners.”
“NO! PLEASE DON’T! LET US WORK IT OFF! WE’RE SORRY! WE WON’T DO IT AGAIN.”
A couple of the boys begin to get teary.
“So, here’s the deal I’m willing to make. You have to promise never to do this again. You all can come and play drums and stuff but you have to ask first and you have to be supervised. If you do this again, I really will call the police. Got it?”
“Yes! Thanks! So we can play the drums if we ask permission first?”
“Yes. You can play with permission and with supervision.”
“Okay, and we’ll walk Lulu if you want.”
“No, that’s fine. I want you guys to have stuff to do but we have to have some ground rules. So let me show you how to play the instruments and what you can mess with and what you can’t touch.”
“Do you think we can be in the band?”
“When you’re in 7th grade you can.”
“They’ll let us? Are you really sure?”
“Yes, they’ll let you be in the youth band. I’m really sure. Just use your manners in the house of God.”
“Okay.”

In about 15 minutes they were trying to coordinate a song and trying to drum to a beat. The song? We Will Rock You by Queen.

I know the story of two of these boys. Their moms are stay at home moms and on drugs. The third boy lives with his grandparents but I’m unsure about where his parents are. They basically fend for themselves and no one ever comes to check on them. Ever. They eat whatever we have around the offices. They are generally unclean and unkempt and they have gutter mouths, but you know what? They are little boys. These aren’t big kids. The oldest one is a third grader. Hopefully today we struck a deal. I needed to get their attention and I needed to give them a place to go. You know something? After we made rules, they were sweet. Boys nevertheless, meaning they ran around, they yelled and they played. I wish their parents could see that with some boundaries, care, love and concern they’d have some really great future men to lead our country.

Kingdom Kidz

August 26, 2009August 24, 2009 tlc4women1 Comment

Last weekend we had Kidz Day at church. It was a hot summer day and the water slide and bounce house were a big success!

The line to sign up and get your goody bag with prizes was longer than expected!

The children waited patiently for their turn to slide!

Even the high school kids got in the mix with some wrestling and horseplay.

Over 200 hot dogs and chip plates were served! Fun was had by all and even when it seemed a little scary, Angie was not deterred by getting back on!

On this day, Oasis was a place of refreshing and fun for the entire community! A great big thanks to Gesia Valencia our Children’s Director and all of our volunteers who made this day possible!

Taking Back Our City

August 25, 2009August 24, 2009 tlc4women1 Comment

Psalm 17:4 I’m not trying to get my way in the world’s way. I’m trying to get your way, your Word’s way. 5 I’m staying on your trail; I’m putting one foot In front of the other. I’m not giving up. 6 I call to you, God, because I’m sure of an answer. So – answer! bend your ear! listen sharp! 7 Paint grace-graffiti on the fences; take in your frightened children who Are running from the neighborhood bullies straight to you. “The Message”

Each month a small group from Oasis goes out to combat the graffiti in the city. Each month we are given pages of addresses of buildings that have been tagged. Most are gang symbols and names and they make our city look terrible. This month our task was a wall that ran two blocks. As you can see, this isn’t artwork, but merely gang symbols that are crossed out and replaced with more gang symbols. There was a lot to paint and this was only one place on a list of many.

Adrian Jurado one of our church elders owns AJ Painting, a local company, so he came out to help us.

We have a lot of fun out there and this time was no exception. A lot of heavy topics of conversation are on our minds as we paint. This month it was the San Francisco 49ers line up (a godly team, I might add) vs the Oakland Raiders line up (there’s a little sin in each of our lives).

Pretty soon a good deal of one of the walls is painted. We paint God’s grace-graffiti on the wall as we clean up our city and make it a place we can be proud of again.

Thanks to our volunteers and thanks to our city who allows the privilege of service!

Playing The Field

August 16, 2009August 15, 2009 tlc4women2 Comments

James 4:1 Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. 2 You lust for what you don’t have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn’t yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it. 3 And why not? Because you know you’d be asking for what you have no right to. You’re spoiled children, each wanting your own way. 4 You’re cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way.5 And do you suppose God doesn’t care? The proverb has it that “he’s a fiercely jealous lover.” 6 And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you’ll find. It’s common knowledge that “God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble.” 7 So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. 8 Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. 9 Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. 10 Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.

11 Don’t bad-mouth each other, friends. It’s God’s Word, his Message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You’re supposed to be honoring the Message, not writing graffiti all over it. 12 God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others? 13 And now I have a word for you who brashly announce, “Today – at the latest, tomorrow – we’re off to such and such a city for the year. We’re going to start a business and make a lot of money.” 14 You don’t know the first thing about tomorrow. You’re nothing but a wisp of fog, catching a brief bit of sun before disappearing. 15 Instead, make it a habit to say, “If the Master wills it and we’re still alive, we’ll do this or that.” 16 As it is, you are full of your grandiose selves. All such vaunting self-importance is evil. 17 In fact, if you know the right thing to do and don’t do it, that, for you, is evil. -The Message

Grateful

August 7, 2009August 7, 2009 tlc4women1 Comment

Rodney

My life ain’t that bad. I’m in Texas as I write, so I thought I’d use their vernacular. I am here on unpleasant business. My brother-in-law, my husband’s only sibling has passed away at the age of 39. We are here to attend the services and to attend to my in-laws.

It is in moments like these when you realize how fragile life is. You are handed a measure of days long before you ever existed. The key is to make the most of those days. Rodney Young was a man that when we thought about it, we couldn’t think of a single person who disliked him. Everyone thought he was a good guy. He left behind my nephew Nathaniel who is 12. Nathaniel looks exactly like his father. Rodney was separated from his wife, Tawana, for a couple of years now, yet interestingly enough, they had been talking recently and he died in her mother’s home on a visit to see Tawana and Nathaniel. Life has a way doesn’t it, of teaching us about wasted time?

Rodney had called my husband, the day before he died. Doug had missed the call as we had taken the kids to Six Flags Great America and we didn’t hear it ring. The message was simple, “Hey bro, just calling to check on you and tell you I love you.” Doug called him back later that evening but Rodney didn’t answer. The last message Doug left was, “Tag you’re it. This is my second call to you. Love you.” He never got the chance to answer.

My in-laws are devastated. I have never lost a child but it’s so unnatural to do so, that it is must be a shock to the heart. We all think our child will bury us so it seems out of order. When it happens out of the blue, the reaction is even worse I presume, as there is no time for the brain to prepare.

My brother-in-law was a super nice guy. My husband and he were really close. Doug being the older brother by six years, always looked after his brother. Rodney would call Doug for advice and when they lived in the same town as we did, Rodney would be over our home often.

Today, I am grateful for my life for I don’t know when it will be my final day. I presume to think that I will be an old woman one day, but that may not be the will of God. So we need to live each day to fullest. We need to touch the lives of others. We need to talk to them about Jesus and we need to recognize that when the bible says our lives are but a vapor, it really means just that.

Today I am grateful for my family. I have a good man who calls me his wife and who would swim through shark infested waters to bring me a lemonade. I have my kids , two of whom live on their own, aren’t on the streets and love the Lord. I have a great job that I enjoy and good friends and family. What are you grateful for? Take a good assessment of that. You’ll be glad you did.

TLC4Women

August 6, 2009August 3, 2009 tlc4women1 Comment

As the TLC summer series comes to a close it’s time once again to set the vision for the new year and to remind the women who are a part of TLC about what our goals were from the start.

Transforming Life Center was started with the premise that once we were born again, we had to learn to live a new life in Christ. This meant we had to leave a lot of the things we knew before behind so that we could learn new things that would take us to the purpose and plan of who we are.

Romans 12:2-And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Romans 12:2 is the verse that carries our ministry forward. Our goal in everything we do is to move forward and forget those things that are behind us. In dealing with our pasts once and for all, we then put it behind us as it no longer defines us. Then, applying those things we have learned, we move forward, becoming more aware of who God is and what he is doing in our lives. We aren’t about becoming the Church Ladies, there are enough of those already, we are about becoming disciples of Christ.

So what does TLC have in store for this next year of study?

We have four bible studies coming up. We are continual learners and we have a desire to know God more intimately day by day.
We have a conference to plan that is just around the corner. This is a lot of work for us but the end result is that the word goes forth and women’s lives are transformed by the messages that the speakers have for us!
We have a scholarship that we are going to give to a deserving senior this next year. We have got to begin to put our words into action. If in fact, we are students for life then we place a high value on education and we will put our efforts where our mouth is.
We are mentoring the youth and college-aged women who are coming up behind us. We have a class set up for them that is being put together as we speak. We are taking the charge in Titus of the older women teaching the younger and applying it where it is most needed our youth girls.
We are going to work closely with Moms Against Hunger to help feed the world.
We have a “detergent ministry” where we go to the laundromats around town and distribute detergent.
Finally, this year, we are adopting a child from Compassion Ministries whom we will support with gifts and letters.

Our mandate is big this year but our hearts are strengthened by the word that has already gone forth and been implanted into our ministry. We are pregnant with vision, power, prophesy and courage as we move forward in the new endeavors of this year!

I am proud of these women and look forward to a destiny and purpose that we may think we know but watch God blow our minds!

We’re Lost In A Masquerade

August 5, 2009August 3, 2009 tlc4women2 Comments

Hi, how are you?
Me? I’m GREAT! My whole world is fantastic. I am blessed and highly favored. Blah, blah, blah.

Do you ever just wish you could talk to someone honestly about real life things going on in your life? Those of us who profess to follow Christ are supposed to be doing well all the time. Only, HELLO?!!, life happens and even the bible says trials come, so no one promised you perfection.

I believe there is a blessing in honesty that you can’t get behind your feathery, sequined masquerade mask. There is perspective and sometimes there is healing, in opening up to your true self. What scares us about being honest with each other? Well first, there is the judgment. “She’s supposed to be saved and she can’t even get her kids to do their chores.” Uh, yeah, I can’t always. Guess what? God can’t get his kids to do their chores either, so I think I am in good company. When women come to me with their problems often they say something self-effacing, which really saddens me. It’s really sad that we can’t be human with each other. When someone reaches out for help, rather than help, we rejoice that we are not having that same issue in our life therefore, we must be better. We aren’t. We are different but equal.

Second, there is the trustworthy issue. We can’t confide because then, WOOHOOO! LET THE GOSSIPING BEGIN. Because we are so content to be busybodies, we love to have someone to talk about. We judge and gossip, so then we wouldn’t dare tell anyone our problems because we know exactly what they are going to do with information. Exactly what we do. Tell everyone. This has to stop. We have to learn to be confidants to those in our lives. And don’t hide your gossipy self with cryptic gossip either. I remember once this person came to me and said, “Pastor Susan, don’t worry about me. You can feel free to tell me anything. I know lots of stuff about the women here and I haven’t said anything.” When someone says something like this to you RUN! These people love the power of knowing something. While we are here on this subject, Holy Gossip is still gossip. “I want us to pray for Sister Agnes. Her husband is having an affair and we just need to lift her up in prayer.” I hate holy gossip. We have to be trustworthy. Period.

We can’t take our own mask off because then the bloodbath begins. The minute some smell trouble, they run to get a piece of that person. You know, sometimes I wonder if human beings are really as elevated as they proclaim to be? Can we show a little compassion and maybe some love?

Taking off your mask is a big risk but being authentic is what we are called to be. Yet, we all need a place to be authentic and be able to have a soft place to fall. Many people don’t have that. I love that I have friends with whom I can just be honest. I love the fact that I also work hard to be that friend. We need to love one another enough to be honest and then be woman enough to take that honesty without offense and keep that confidence between us.

Decide today that you are going to be a person of value and worth. That means that when someone comes to you they are able to take their mask off for a while and be themselves. In a world that demands you to have it all together be a place of soft landing. Find that person with whom you can take your mask off. Trust me when I tell you that your life will be richer and you will feel better about yourself. I can’t imagine feeling good about faking it. I can’t imagine wearing the mask all the time. I don’t know about you, but I desire a deeper relationship with my friends and loved ones, rather than one in which it’s all a masquerade.

Jealousy

August 4, 2009August 3, 2009 tlc4women1 Comment

Jealously makes us do crazy things doesn’t it? The bible says God is jealous and since we are made in his image, then the crazy things we do are justified right? Wrong. Jealously has two distinct aspects to it. One is godly and one is evil. Today I am going to attempt to teach you the difference.

God is jealous for you, not of you. He is never jealous of your accomplishments and successes. He is happy for you. God wants you to be happy and well and wants to look after you. He would never interfere in your life without your permission but he wants the best for you. He guards you and expects you to guard him.

The opposite of God’s jealousy is the evil jealously that permeates our culture, with the need to have what we see others have. It is one where we get hurt and mad and dejected if our girlfriends go out to the movies or to dinner without us. Or our boyfriends and husbands dare to do a guy thing without us. How dare they? Evil jealousy where we don’t have joy over another’s success.

The beautiful jealously, that is worthy and right, is being vigilant of a confidence well guarded with a cherished friend. Godly jealousy is the lunch date you would not cancel with a friend whom you rarely get to see. The time you give to the Lord that is just yours and His alone and that you relish and keep no matter what. It’s the kind of jealousy that you see your best friend’s perfect haircut and you rejoice with her and tell her you are jealous that she has found the right cut for her face but you’d expect and want nothing more for her! It is the joy in finding out your best friend is pregnant when you have been trying for years, your jealousy over your friendship supersedes any malice for what you lack, that she has been blessed with. All of these show that you are jealous for the person and all that they have to offer and not of what they are getting that you are not.

Your God is a jealous God and you are made in his image. That doesn’t excuse the poor behavior that we justify by saying it’s in our nature. There is a difference.