Someone asked recently what the etiquette was for inviting the Pastor over for dinner. It’s the same as with anyone else. Some tips to remember:
Pastors are normal people so discuss normal things. Theological discussions aren’t off-limits nor are they they only thing a pastor can talk about.
Discussions about church are not off-limits but questions about other people are.
They don’t get many invitations. Mainly because people don’t know what to expect. So keep it real but respectful.
Don’t invite the Pastor over with a hidden agenda of counseling or complaints. Invite him over because you’d like to break bread with him and have a relaxing time.
Please feel free to pray for the meal. A Pastor is not put out if he gives the blessing or not.
Be authentic. The Pastor isn’t looking trying to make you feel uncomfortable.
Susan! I have a friend that is having a graduation party for receiving her Masters Degree and she has created a gift registry for herself for the occasion. I have my own opinions on this but would like to hear your thoughts! Also, as a note, she didn’t send the registry to all the invitees, only her close family and friends. Thanks!
Big Sigh! You kinda knew this was coming didn’t you? I mean, we start off early, you get paid to toss the trash because it’s your mom’s job and if she delegates it then it should cost her, you get paid for grades, you get paid for mowing the lawn and we parents do all this for you because you are entitled to get paid for your self-esteem. So what’s next on the list? You send out graduation announcements because you want the money people send, or you register for the gifts you want because after all you’ve been taught that you are entitled.
Only, what is a gift?
Gift ~ noun ~ something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.
When I give a gift, I think about that person. I try to be thoughtful in my gift giving. I try to find something that would be meaningful to that person. Buying off a list doesn’t appeal to me at all.
I think all these registries are over the top, and believe me, I’ve seen them for everything, even children’s parties. When you have a gift registry you are telling the person that you expect them to give you a gift, and you are telling them that not any gift will do, but that you want them to give you specific gifts of your choice. At that point the definition of gift ceases.
It could be worse though, she could have stated on her invitation that she didn’t want gifts only money, then your friendship would have been measured by your worth, and her basically telling you she doesn’t trust your judgment on gift giving. In any case, if you’re going to go on with your tacky self and do a registry, you never put the registry in with the invitation, and only pull it out if you are asked.
And this is why this generation is called the Entitled Generation or the Me Generation, and it’s not their fault. It’s ours, the parents of this generation who didn’t teach the same basic manners we were taught.
Haha! If you’re like me the title of the blog made you think of something else didn’t it? Actually, Baby Sprinkles is the new term for baby showers for baby #2, 3, 4 etc… And well, I’ve already voiced my opinion on that!
Either way you slice it, a baby shower by any other name is still a baby shower. I think what makes me feel sad about this is that there seems to be gift grabbing mentality going on. People register for each baby they have. You’re asked to bring gifts that are expensive. You’re asked to bring extra diapers for a raffle. What happened to having your second child when you could afford to do so?
I was beginning to feel pretty old fashioned and Grinch-y for feeling this way until I found a site that I absolutely love. It’s called Etiquette Hell. There are people who feel like I do! For a second baby and beyond, I bring a gift for the baby after they arrive on the scene. I’m all for throwing a party but the mandatory gift based on your registry is just too much for me!
I think I might have found the right Miss Piggy for these posts!
From time to time I write about Etiquette on this blog. For some reason manners are missing in my world and the more I read and hear, the more I think they are just missing. Period.
So here is my tip of the day. If you couldn’t bother showing up at a dinner party, for whatever reason, even worse if you weren’t invited, you are not entitled to a take-home plate UNLESS the host/hostess offers, please notice the word OFFERS, to send you one. It’s not okay, to send a loved one to ask for a to-go plate for you. That’s what drive-thru is for. It’s not okay to announce, “My sister couldn’t make it, but she said to bring her a plate.” Hello! Entitled generation much?
There are some great points to remember when you’re hosting a good party. As part of our Etiquette portion of the blog I want to write some of them down.
1. Make sure you plan your party out a few weeks in advance so you are as prepared as you can be.
2. Invite your guests ahead of time, at least a couple of weeks so that they can block the time on their schedule.
3. I always ask if there are things people don’t like or are allergic.
SIDE NOTE: For those of you going to a party, please tell the truth. I once had a party where someone didn’t eat fish and it was the main course. I wasn’t told. I would have rather have changed my menu then to have a guest not be able to eat the main course. It’s not rude to tell your host ahead of time what you can’t/won’t eat. They will appreciate being able to serve you something you enjoy.
4. Atmosphere is key! Checking your cell phone continuously, having a messy house, having the television on, not having guest towels and extra toilet paper in the bathroom, and cooking while your guest entertain themselves is not being a good host. Set the stage for a comfortable, and enjoyable time. Try to be on the back end of the prep when your guests arrive. This means planning your meals in advance, cooking the majority in advance and having your table set and ready. Time yourself, this isn’t the time to procrastinate. Be present!
5. Make sure you have enough drinks and food for everyone to eat as much as they’d like.
6. Pay attention to what is popular. I have a entertainment journal where I keep the favorite dishes of my regular guests.
7. Don’t be overly concerned with perfection. If you’ve prepped it all and cleaned ahead of time, you’ll be fine. Enjoy the time with your guests. If a dish doesn’t go over well, no big deal, you’ll know for next time!
Pastor Susan 