Category: Daily Living

Dogs Eat Vomit

tlc4women1 Comment
filmschoolmusic.com
filmschoolmusic.com

Proverbs 26:11As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

As often is the case people like to complain about their situation but few are willing to find solution. It seems as though we’d rather return to our vomit than eat the food the King has set before us. So why do we do it? In some sort of bizarre way we find it easier than the work the solution will take.

Vomit although gross is familiar. We all know that person who refuses to try new food. They eat a steady diet of comfort, things that are safe. Doing things the same way feels like the safe way. Whatever you say about the human condition we are a creature of habit who doesn’t like change. Change is hard for us.

Complaining about our situation though is not hard for us. We are great complainers but why don’t we change? Change takes courage. Change takes coming up with a different plan and a step out into the unknown. Change is not safe.

I remember once, years ago, each week during our prayer time a man kept asking for prayer for a new job. The new job was just not coming his way and I kept asking God, why a new job wasn’t coming? I mean, we are all praying what is the deal? The following week, when it came time to pray for the specific needs of everyone, there he once again asked for prayer for a new job. I asked how many resumes and applications he’d sent out that week and where he was applying. He responded “none”. I said, then I don’t feel like praying for a new job because it’s not going to fall out of the sky. Yes, everyone gasped and thought the response was harsh but you know what? Why waste time? I mean here was a man who returned to his own vomit week after week expecting for it to taste differently and being bummed out that it was the same ‘ol meal.

Want a different result in your life? Then quit going back to the vomit and head instead in a new direction.

Smart-Mouth College

tlc4women1 Comment

In honor of the first day of school, here’s a little wisdom!

azteenmagazine.com
azteenmagazine.com

Psalm 1:1 How well God must like you – you don’t hang out at Sin Saloon, you don’t slink along Dead-End Road, you don’t go to Smart-Mouth College. 2 Instead you thrill to God’s Word, you chew on Scripture day and night. 3 You’re a tree replanted in Eden, bearing fresh fruit every month, Never dropping a leaf, always in blossom.
4 You’re not at all like the wicked, who are mere windblown dust – 5 Without defense in court, unfit company for innocent people. 6 God charts the road you take. The road they take is Skid Row. -“The Message”

He Is A Provider And Protector

tlc4women6 Comments

This is the fourth installment on a series that began here.

6054169_4110887870

OOOOO this post gets me excited because this is where we as women miss the mark completely on the men we choose to share our lives. “I can fix him”, is the common thing I hear. But sister let me tell you that if your man isn’t working now he isn’t going to work later. As I always say, “If he’s broke, don’t fix him.” And yeah I do mean financially too, if he is working and not rich fine, but if he is living off of mommy and daddy or whoever his girlfriend is at the moment, he’s not marriage material. Period. Let’s read what the bible says about this:

Genesis 2:7 the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being

If you want a provider and protector you first have to find a man who has a relationship with his Father in heaven. How do you get closer in relationship then to have the breath of God bring you to life? This is critical ladies and I hope you are paying attention!

8 Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. 9 And the Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground–trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Notice Adam was not living in his daddy’s house. You want a man who has lived on his own while still maintaining a relationship with his family. A man has to stand on his own two feet first and know how to feed himself.

15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

Before a woman can even consider a man for marriage material she has to ask him a critical question. “Are you working?” If not, do not pass go and do not collect $200. Make a decision. Either you will wait until he is working to have feelings for him or you won’t. That is up to you but I would not under any circumstances date a man who isn’t working. He isn’t ready for a relationship. Between jobs? Then he’s between getting me and not. Before you go thinking this is about money, it’s about a man who knows how to provide for himself and isn’t looking for a mommy to breastfeed him.

16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”

God gave the man some rules to live by. Is your man submitted to rules to live by? Character and morals are shaped on this premise. What are his rules and what does he live by? This is critical so don’t miss it. You’ll find men who are wild and out of control and we like those bad boys but we don’t marry them. I seriously hope you are reading this today because I am giving you some good advice. Does he have babies here, there and everywhere? I know he said the condom broke or the woman tricked him but it speaks to his character.
The rules of conduct of a man aren’t very important to him and if he isn’t supporting and seeing those babies then he isn’t submitted and he won’t be different for you.

Does he drink a little too much, gamble a little too much? Then expect that in your life. Is he a good man, but doesn’t believe in God? This won’t pose a problem to you if you are a follower of Christ until you have children. Once you have children, it will become extremely important to you so again, choose with the end in mind.

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.

Notice, God didn’t say, “Now Adam, I think the time has come for you to get married.” NO! He waited for Adam to see his need for a mate. Don’t go around thinking that because your man is 28 that he wants to get married. It’s different for everyone. Don’t push for marriage just because you’ve dated for two years. Don’t give ultimatums. When your man is ready to get married and he has his life in order with the things we’ve blogged about here then he will tell you. This is the mistake I see time and time again. Pressure may make him do the thing you want but pressure will not make him stay. And quit wondering why he won’t marry you if you are sleeping together. Remember that old saying, ‘Why the buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?’ It totally applies here.

22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

You want to avoid the mama’s boy? When he sees for himself what is required of him is when you’ll get that. Don’t shortchange what God has put in place.

EVER.

FOR ANYONE.

Your Lord, is your provider and your protector. There is nothing he wouldn’t do for you. There is no place he wouldn’t go for you. He laid down his life at your feet, for the chance and opportunity to have your love. His life is ordered just as he set up Adam’s life, for God used his own pattern. To do anything else is to live a life of uncertainty. God made our number one need as women to be loved and feel secure. The bible never once tells a woman to love her man. She does that automatically. He tells the man to love his wife and take care of her. Why? Because God does. He loves you and takes care of you. No one had to tell him to. No one had to push him to. He did it because he wanted to.

You will know when a man is ready for marriage because he will move towards it. Until then, make wise decisions with your life. Either you are willing to wait for his decision or you aren’t and you move on. Do not give yourself away to a man who is not ready. And certainly do not give your heart to a boy who doesn’t know what he wants and hasn’t earned his position in your life, no matter his age. You only have one heart so give it to someone who will nourish and protect it.

Playing The Field

tlc4women2 Comments

30sleeps.com
30sleeps.com

James 4:1 Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. 2 You lust for what you don’t have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn’t yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it. 3 And why not? Because you know you’d be asking for what you have no right to. You’re spoiled children, each wanting your own way. 4 You’re cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way.5 And do you suppose God doesn’t care? The proverb has it that “he’s a fiercely jealous lover.” 6 And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you’ll find. It’s common knowledge that “God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble.” 7 So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. 8 Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. 9 Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. 10 Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.

11 Don’t bad-mouth each other, friends. It’s God’s Word, his Message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You’re supposed to be honoring the Message, not writing graffiti all over it. 12 God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others? 13 And now I have a word for you who brashly announce, “Today – at the latest, tomorrow – we’re off to such and such a city for the year. We’re going to start a business and make a lot of money.” 14 You don’t know the first thing about tomorrow. You’re nothing but a wisp of fog, catching a brief bit of sun before disappearing. 15 Instead, make it a habit to say, “If the Master wills it and we’re still alive, we’ll do this or that.” 16 As it is, you are full of your grandiose selves. All such vaunting self-importance is evil. 17 In fact, if you know the right thing to do and don’t do it, that, for you, is evil. -The Message

Those Teachable Moments

tlc4women1 Comment
do1thing.org
do1thing.org

This week, a homeless couple came to the church looking for help. The girl looked not much over 18 if that, the boy looked about that age. Dirty, walking around town, they walked into our doors. We talked to them and discovered they had no place to stay for the night. Pastor Doug got out a food voucher for the grocery store and paid for a night in a motel.

The next day they were back at the church again looking for another food voucher and another night at a hotel. I asked what their story was. The girl told me that her parents live in our city! I was amazed to say the least. I asked her why she wasn’t staying with them. She promptly told me that they were of the Apostolic faith and they did not approve of her shacking up with her boyfriend. They would not allow her to stay there. Or rather, she corrected, she could stay there but he could not. The following day they were back again. Looking for more help they confessed that her aunt and uncle had taken them in for a night but she had argued with her uncle because he had stipulations to their stay.  He made her leave his home since she could not respect his home. I felt bad for them but my husband put it all in perspective for our family and I want to share it with you. He used it as an example to our children.

He said in this way, ‘This is why we think it’s so important that you follow our rules. We aren’t being harsh but we expect for you guys to help out around the house, be respectful and do things we ask of you. This young couple didn’t learn that lesson. They were given a home to stay in when they were homeless. Instead of being grateful for the roof, they instead began to argue with the owner. Because they never learned obedience they were unable to see the blessing they were being given. For us now to help them in their rebellion to her parents would not be the right thing to do. The best thing for this girl to do is to go home to her family and for her boyfriend to go to his parents home and to begin on the right foot.’

It impacted me because their dilemma was a product of their disobedience. They would rather be homeless than conform to the rules of their parent’s home and yet, were unable to support themselves and wanted others to help. Even after Pastor Doug had said all of this to this girl, she persisted in coming by the church each day. This girl was very determined and said she would not leave the church until she spoke directly to the pastor. In this moment, she didn’t have the sense to realize she didn’t have the power to demand anything.

I began to see a picture of her as a child in the grocery store saying, “Mom can I have a candy?” Her mother answering, “Not today.” “Mom, plllleeaaaseeee can I have a candy.” “Not today.” “Mooooommmmmm, please can I have candy? Mom, mom, mom, mom, please just one?” Her mother angry at her daughter’s persistence sighing and responding, “FINE! GO GET YOUR CANDY.”

It’s in those little teachable moments where character is built. The bible says to let our yes be yes and our no be no but how often do we give in? Would we still give in if we could see the bigger picture of the future? When our desire becomes one where no one is ever unhappy, we do whatever it takes knowing it’s the wrong thing to do.  I wonder, do we become accountable later for the results we created?

I do feel bad for this girl but not how you may think. I feel bad that no one ever taught her how to live within the rules of freedom. It came home in an example in our home immediately this week. One of our kids had refused to do their laundry on their day. When their dad asked why not they proudly stood up, hands on hips and said, “What difference does it make to you when I do it?” See, the point is not when you want to do it, the point is when it’s time to do it.This weekend when the same child wanted to go to the movies at a certain time guess what happened? Dad quietly said, “What difference does it make when I take you as long as I take you?” I think the lesson has been learned at least in our home.

Those of you who are still raising kids please read this and learn a valuable lessons. We can’t save our kids from all heartache but we can help in teaching early lessons that help later. Those of you who have raised your children but they are still sponging because of this exact thing, I pray that you let your yes be yes and your no be no. I know it hurts when our children are in pain and I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to have my daughter running around homeless and I pray I never have to know but it is all about choices and those little teachable moments.

Grace

tlc4women1 Comment

2 Corinthians 6:1 We then, as workers together with Him also plead with you  not to receive the grace of God in vain.

Grace. We sing about it and we thank God for it but what is it? Grace for the most part is a word thrown around that isn’t quite understood. So it’s no wonder that most of us do receive the grace of God in vain because we don’t understand it and so therefore, we don’t use it wisely.To use anything to its full potential we must know its purpose.

Grace in the American Heritage dictionary is defined as;

Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion.

A characteristic or quality pleasing for its charm or refinement.

A sense of fitness or propriety.

A disposition to be generous or helpful; goodwill. Mercy; clemency. A favor rendered by one who need not do so; indulgence.A temporary immunity or exemption; a reprieve.

So then does Grace mean God moves around effortlessly and so we shouldn’t receive it in vain? It could, I suppose, include this in that we shouldn’t take him for granted because he’s always there for us. Sure, we can be more appreciative and grateful for his grace.

Is it the sense of fitness or propriety? Well, it can be as well. We must always be reverent to the Lord. There is a certain way to approach him. He is after all the King of kings.

But here in this scripture and what I am blogging about today is the last definitions of; A disposition to be generous or helpful; goodwill; Mercy; clemency; A favor rendered by one who need not do so; indulgence; A temporary immunity or exemption; a reprieve.

See, grace is like that hall pass that you use to move from the classroom to the office without getting in trouble by the hall monitor. Grace is a favor God is giving you when he doesn’t have to. Grace is what your parents give when you wreck their car and they let you drive the only car left in the family when they didn’t have to. Grace is the credit card company accepting your late payment without interest or penalty.

When we get these kinds of breaks we should be thankful. It should cause us to be more careful the next time, it should cause us to think before we act. Too often though, the grace that God bestows goes unnoticed or worse, taken for granted. “I know I can sin and I’ll repent later because I know God will forgive me.” This is what it means to receive the grace of God in vain. It would be as if the thief, pardoned by the judge is free from jail time and goes out to rob again. It was a useless pardon. Better the judge would have saved his breath.Grace was not designed to illicit this kind of ungrateful, unrepentant behavior. Rather, grace was designed for acknowledgment of the wrong doing and a change in behavior. Repentance, is a turning away from the sin and a return down the right path.

Grace in its very essence empowers you to do what truth demands of you. Truth demands a righteous life, truth demands that you change the way things are done. Grace is freely given by God but do not mistake grace for weakness. Grace is anything but weak. It is a powerful tool that is bestowed to bring about a change. While God may grant grace, he doesn’t set out to fix you, only you can do that.

Pro Age

tlc4women1 Comment

PICT0008

I love the Dove pro age campaign. I was one who had a problem with the term anti-aging, the alternative being grim. While I don’t want to look or feel old I am not ready to die either. Do you ever just take a long look in the mirror and see how your body is changing? For me ,over the last year or so, I’ve seen some major changes. In the past, weight being so easy to maintain is becoming a struggle. My gynecologist says <em>at my age</em> I have to double my workout routine. I have to be honest and say I don’t feel old enough to be a woman who “at my age” comments need to be made.

I see little lines beginning to form on my face and my skin beginning to feel like my moms. I had to laugh when a man came to me after church service. He said that he had to give me credit because when I raised my arms my skin doesn’t flop around like other women my age. (There’s that at your age comment again)! Uh, I didn’t know what to say to that. Thanks? Do you ever wish people had a filter?

I don’t know if I’ll ever have plastic surgery. I am not against it, I’m just scared to have surgery but will vanity outweigh fear at some point? I can’t say for sure. Age has taught me to never say never. (Okay, now I’m doing the “at my age” stuff). For now, I am perplexed and sometimes a little freaked out over the changes I see. I have gray hair coming in. Not a lot so far, I have seen about a dozen strands but they are there nevertheless, my stylist calls them “the nine”. So I have to keep my hair appointments going so they don’t show. Thank you Jesus that dye was created!

I am learning not to take my body for granted anymore. I am trying to eat better, exercise more and take life a little easier. In my mind I don’t feel old though. I guess I am beginning to understand why my mom randomly says, “How is it that I have a daughter who is 44?” Age just creeps up on you.

When I look at the lines that are beginning to appear I have to say I have earned them. Life hasn’t been easy but it’s been an adventure. So many people come to Christ expecting that it’s like finding a genie in a bottle. Problem with that is that the bible doesn’t say life will be a piece of cake, it says to gain your life you have to lose your life. Sounds complicated but it really isn’t. You just begin to live for things outside of yourself. You begin to focus on the bigger picture. Suddenly it’s not all about you.

In this picture I look comfortable with myself even though I have no makeup on. I struggled whether to post it or not because it’s not my best look but whatever. To me, I look like I’ve figured out who I am. I have learned to be at peace with myself. I look at my eyes in this picture and it looks to me like I have a secret of well-being and a sense of humor. Here’s the secret: Life is meant to be lived, not to be observed, so make the very best of each situation. Trials and heartache are going to come but God was right when he said this too shall pass. I’ll leave you with this question. One year ago today what were you worried about? Most of the time, we don’t even remember what it was but at the time it was super important. So just enjoy your life. How’s that for a woman my age?

He Is A Confidant

tlc4womenLeave a comment

2538520085_883cf2ca6d

The word confidant means trustworthy, the one with whom secrets are entrusted. That’s what I love about making my Lord my secret keeper is that he is good at it. I just pour out my heart to him and he keeps it. He’s trustworthy like no other person I have ever met. He is one who can keep my heart. You see, he tells me;

Proverbs 4:23 – Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Often though, women tend to give their hearts away as if they can grow another. We can’t and we aren’t supposed to. We are to guard our own hearts. We can share our hearts and that’s a wonderful thing but we don’t let go of it. That is against what we know to be the will of God. So when we say to someone, “You broke my heart.” Well, you gave it when you shouldn’t have. At any moment you need to be able to handle your heart.

God is good at being trustworthy with your heart. He is trustworthy and whether you believe it or not is, he has your best interest at heart. I was raised Catholic and my idea of God was one in which I saw a Moses looking figure on a throne waiting to electrocute me with a flash from his finger. When I was older and really saw his heart towards me I realized he wanted to be my dad. He wanted to hear my worries, he wanted to hear my dreams, he wanted to hear my fears and my accomplishments. He wanted a relationship with me where he could listen and speak. He wanted to be my confidant.

I trust him with all of my being to know me enough to not ever step on my heart. The man you are looking for can be your confidant. He may fumble your heart, but remember you are there to catch it so that it doesn’t harm you, but it will truly not be malicious or thought out. We all fail each other at times. Overall though, he must have the character of God.

Children and Manners

tlc4women3 Comments

041068

Can I have a post to rant about something that really bothers me? Manners. Where did they go?

Today, I want to talk about the things we seem not to be teaching children anymore. This week I saw:

A child come into the office at the church and begin to go through the drawers of the Pastor’s desk while my husband talked to their parent about a very serious issue. I asked the child politely to please close the drawers and to come over to where I was. He asked, “Why?” He continued to not listen to me, or to the Pastor when he asked him to stop and all the while his mother did and said absolutely nothing. He then went to the fridge to check what was in there. Do you think this was a toddler? No! A third grader? No! Older than that. Learning disability? No!  The child was 11. Simply no manners. This kid comes from a stay-at-home mom family. It makes me wonder what she does all day?

I then watched a five year old eat with his mouth open, talk with his mouth full, spewing food as he talked, grab food with his fingers from other’s plates. All the while the mom giggled. Funny? No, not at all. Another stay-at-home mom.

Can I just ask you moms who stay home with your kids, what exactly are you are doing all day because I don’t think that you that you are doing a great deal of  teaching? Perhaps if Disney could come up with a video or television show of manners our children would learn because they know everything there is about Sponge Bob, Hannah Montana, Harry Potter and the like. Maybe if they put on itunes or better yet, DS.

I guess my question isn’t where are the manners, I guess my question is where are the parents?