Month: August 2016

Confirmation

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purple

I am having lower back pain due to a pinched nerve. Some days it’s so severe that it hurts to put one foot in front of the other and it feels like needles are being stuck in my back. I was in so much pain one day that I walked over to the Chiropractor across the street from my job to get an adjustment. I had cute sparkly heels on. His assessment came quickly and clearly.

“Fortunately the inflammation is contained on one side. Get out of the heels for a few months and allow the back to heal and you’ll be fine.” 

I’m Mexican, heels are our trademark. Surely, there is something more to this back pain than heels. Surely there is. Heels are just too simple of a solution.

I know! I have to pray for a healing because obviously my faith isn’t strong enough.

When the pain became unbearable I went for a massage. Tisha said,

“Heels aren’t good for you.” 

“Ugh! I know but flats hurt my feet.” 

Lord, I know you have a healing for me. Please give me some relief.

I got it! I’ll go to Dr. Deldin and see if he has a magic pill that will make me get better.

Dr. Deldin said, “Bend your knees every time you go to pick something up, even if it’s a piece of paper.” And then in a sterner voice he added,

“And get out of those damned heels.” 

Which actually, the heels I was wearing that day were super cute AND I feel like he cursed them. They aren’t damned at all. So I prayed for my heels and for those haters of heels.

However, I am still waiting on a word from the Lord regarding the healing of my back.

Vikki, my sister from another mother, said, “Are your migraines back? The Lord told me to pray for your ache and I thought it was your head.”

“No, not my head, my back.”

“You’ve been hurting for awhile. What’s up?”

I go through the whole scenario with her to which she responds. “You’re crazy. I’m swamped at work.”

That’s her way of saying, you already heard the truth so just quit it.

Monday my back hurt so much I wanted to cry but I had cute heels on, wedges because those are more comfy.

And so I keep praying for my healing and a confirmation from the Lord as to what to do.

How about you? What are unwilling to face facts about?   

In Time

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buzz vision

Last October I was given a vision of my next step in ministry. I couldn’t wait to see it fulfilled. I began to research, to ask questions of those I knew, and to make plans. Each time I got ready to launch something got in the way of the plan and it was stalled. I wasn’t frustrated just chomping at the bit to move forward. God’s timing is not like our own and so I waited.

My husband began to see the vision of what I was going to do and began to pray with me. Then he began to change the ideas I had. This is when the test happens because the question becomes,

I had my own ideas, I had my own lists, I had my own plan but what happens when they aren’t where we are going in ministry?

Well, as I always say,

Submission isn’t submission until we disagree. 

So I got on board with the vision of the house, I began to input where I was asked. We launched last night, prayerfully, considerately, and mindfully, a leadership team. You see, my vision was to make a path to ordain women into ministry. My husband challenged me to think broader. Together we forged a plan of ordination for all people. We gathered our combined resources and gathered wisdom and materials for a clear path. There are 15 of us in the beginning stages of this new phase of our ministry. There were 7 women which was still important to me. Now I get to watch it all unfold. I’m excited and glad to have waited for proper timing and direction.

Sometimes things take awhile. Even though we may have a vision and it seems clear, the path isn’t always how we think it should go. I would prayerfully ask you to be mindful of this and to wait for God’s timing.  This isn’t the time to push forward your own agenda over that of the church in which you serve. A pastor friend in Arkansas preached on the Baptism of Commitment. He said,

Are you committed to your own agenda or are you committed to your leadership? 

That’s a great question to leave you with today.

Pursuit

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Walking along Broadway in Nashville, Tennessee you get to see pursuit of a dream. As we meandered about what I call night clubs and what they call Honky Tonks, I listened to the music streaming from each door until we found a sound we liked.

We stepped inside this place and listened to the music. It was about 3 pm and the band was wrapping it up as the new band was arriving. I became fascinated with what happened next and to be honest paid more attention to people watching than to the music itself.

The band came in each carrying their equipment. They set their equipment down by the stage and grabbed some bottled water the establishment had for them. It was hot. Over 100 and in Nashville there is extreme humidity as well. They walked back and forth to their cars hauling all of their equipment including a seat for the drummer. They were happy and talking and in full roadie mode. Only they weren’t roadies, they were the musicians.

As the band that was playing wound down to their final song I wanted to see the transition. A bucket was passed around for donations for the band. I was told it was how they get paid. The band quickly went into wrap up mode, grabbing their cords and instruments and walking them off of the stage. Their audience who I guess knew the drill, were asking each of them, “Where are you going to next?”, to which the bassist replied pointing, “I’ll be at such and such in about an hour playing with so and so.”, and so on. These musicians were in pursuit of a dream.

I looked at my husband and said, “Do you see that? They left everything behind and are hauling their own equipment and playing wherever they can find a gig for whatever amount is in that bucket in the hopes of a bed, food, and the chance to be discovered for their talent.” My husband smiled, ever the Pastor, and said, “I know how that works. I left a business making just over $200,000 a year to go to a place I had never heard of called Los Banos, CA, to reach the lost for whatever was in that bucket each week. When you have a calling you pursue it no matter the cost. I left my parents, my comfort, my home and went to preach the gospel. The Lord provided for us. Once I didn’t have enough money for groceries and diapers and a stranger at Walmart paid the bill for me. I will never forget those early days.”

The band finished loading their equipment then came back in and sat behind us at a table and divided up the money in that bucket and rushed off to their next gig. The new band set up and began to play and I discovered a new admiration for those who are willing to go the distance and do whatever it takes in pursuit of their callings trusting that somehow things of the world will work out. It was humbling to say the least.