The child was running around the clothing racks at a store, knocking down clothing and running into people. Oblivious mom was saying in a sing song voice that the clerk was going to “get” her child. The child would look over at the clerk and then proceed to run amok.
The teen who is having issues at home walks into church. I smile and greet them, only to hear the mother in a stern voice say, “Now! Tell Pastor Susan what you did and see if you still think it’s no big deal.”
So let me ask you a question: How secure, as a child, would you be to tell the store clerk that you lost your parent in the store and that you’re a little scared?
Then: How secure would you feel as a teen in our church to come and tell me something that was on your heart, if you thought I’d side with your parent?
When did we lose our heart as parents to our children? When did we lose the ability to handle situations ourselves? Why do we have this need to look good at any cost, including the well being of our children?
The cop-out is using someone or something else to set the boundaries. These must be set by us, the parents, explained as far as they can be understood so that the child(ren) knows why. After that there has to be a wall of no compromise and consequences.