Here’s a question I received from Frances:
Susan! I have a friend that is having a graduation party for receiving her Masters Degree and she has created a gift registry for herself for the occasion. I have my own opinions on this but would like to hear your thoughts! Also, as a note, she didn’t send the registry to all the invitees, only her close family and friends. Thanks!
Big Sigh! You kinda knew this was coming didn’t you? I mean, we start off early, you get paid to toss the trash because it’s your mom’s job and if she delegates it then it should cost her, you get paid for grades, you get paid for mowing the lawn and we parents do all this for you because you are entitled to get paid for your self-esteem. So what’s next on the list? You send out graduation announcements because you want the money people send, or you register for the gifts you want because after all you’ve been taught that you are entitled.
Only, what is a gift?
Gift ~ noun ~ something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.
When I give a gift, I think about that person. I try to be thoughtful in my gift giving. I try to find something that would be meaningful to that person. Buying off a list doesn’t appeal to me at all.
I think all these registries are over the top, and believe me, I’ve seen them for everything, even children’s parties. When you have a gift registry you are telling the person that you expect them to give you a gift, and you are telling them that not any gift will do, but that you want them to give you specific gifts of your choice. At that point the definition of gift ceases.
It could be worse though, she could have stated on her invitation that she didn’t want gifts only money, then your friendship would have been measured by your worth, and her basically telling you she doesn’t trust your judgment on gift giving. In any case, if you’re going to go on with your tacky self and do a registry, you never put the registry in with the invitation, and only pull it out if you are asked.
And this is why this generation is called the Entitled Generation or the Me Generation, and it’s not their fault. It’s ours, the parents of this generation who didn’t teach the same basic manners we were taught.