Category: Love

He Is A Provider And Protector

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This is the fourth installment on a series that began here.

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OOOOO this post gets me excited because this is where we as women miss the mark completely on the men we choose to share our lives. “I can fix him”, is the common thing I hear. But sister let me tell you that if your man isn’t working now he isn’t going to work later. As I always say, “If he’s broke, don’t fix him.” And yeah I do mean financially too, if he is working and not rich fine, but if he is living off of mommy and daddy or whoever his girlfriend is at the moment, he’s not marriage material. Period. Let’s read what the bible says about this:

Genesis 2:7 the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being

If you want a provider and protector you first have to find a man who has a relationship with his Father in heaven. How do you get closer in relationship then to have the breath of God bring you to life? This is critical ladies and I hope you are paying attention!

8 Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. 9 And the Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground–trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

Notice Adam was not living in his daddy’s house. You want a man who has lived on his own while still maintaining a relationship with his family. A man has to stand on his own two feet first and know how to feed himself.

15 The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

Before a woman can even consider a man for marriage material she has to ask him a critical question. “Are you working?” If not, do not pass go and do not collect $200. Make a decision. Either you will wait until he is working to have feelings for him or you won’t. That is up to you but I would not under any circumstances date a man who isn’t working. He isn’t ready for a relationship. Between jobs? Then he’s between getting me and not. Before you go thinking this is about money, it’s about a man who knows how to provide for himself and isn’t looking for a mommy to breastfeed him.

16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”

God gave the man some rules to live by. Is your man submitted to rules to live by? Character and morals are shaped on this premise. What are his rules and what does he live by? This is critical so don’t miss it. You’ll find men who are wild and out of control and we like those bad boys but we don’t marry them. I seriously hope you are reading this today because I am giving you some good advice. Does he have babies here, there and everywhere? I know he said the condom broke or the woman tricked him but it speaks to his character.
The rules of conduct of a man aren’t very important to him and if he isn’t supporting and seeing those babies then he isn’t submitted and he won’t be different for you.

Does he drink a little too much, gamble a little too much? Then expect that in your life. Is he a good man, but doesn’t believe in God? This won’t pose a problem to you if you are a follower of Christ until you have children. Once you have children, it will become extremely important to you so again, choose with the end in mind.

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 19 Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.

Notice, God didn’t say, “Now Adam, I think the time has come for you to get married.” NO! He waited for Adam to see his need for a mate. Don’t go around thinking that because your man is 28 that he wants to get married. It’s different for everyone. Don’t push for marriage just because you’ve dated for two years. Don’t give ultimatums. When your man is ready to get married and he has his life in order with the things we’ve blogged about here then he will tell you. This is the mistake I see time and time again. Pressure may make him do the thing you want but pressure will not make him stay. And quit wondering why he won’t marry you if you are sleeping together. Remember that old saying, ‘Why the buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?’ It totally applies here.

22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

You want to avoid the mama’s boy? When he sees for himself what is required of him is when you’ll get that. Don’t shortchange what God has put in place.

EVER.

FOR ANYONE.

Your Lord, is your provider and your protector. There is nothing he wouldn’t do for you. There is no place he wouldn’t go for you. He laid down his life at your feet, for the chance and opportunity to have your love. His life is ordered just as he set up Adam’s life, for God used his own pattern. To do anything else is to live a life of uncertainty. God made our number one need as women to be loved and feel secure. The bible never once tells a woman to love her man. She does that automatically. He tells the man to love his wife and take care of her. Why? Because God does. He loves you and takes care of you. No one had to tell him to. No one had to push him to. He did it because he wanted to.

You will know when a man is ready for marriage because he will move towards it. Until then, make wise decisions with your life. Either you are willing to wait for his decision or you aren’t and you move on. Do not give yourself away to a man who is not ready. And certainly do not give your heart to a boy who doesn’t know what he wants and hasn’t earned his position in your life, no matter his age. You only have one heart so give it to someone who will nourish and protect it.

Dorcas

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The women of TLC studied a woman from the bible named Dorcas. Yes, that’s really a name and if you blink, you miss her story. But her story is powerful and just so you know, despite how her name sounds in today’s culture, it was a name of beauty in the biblical days. Her story is all of six verses but they are powerful.

Acts 9:36 In Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha (which, when translated, is Dorcas), who was always doing good and helping the poor. 37 About that time she became sick and died, and her body was washed and placed in an upstairs room. 38 Lydda was near Joppa; so when the disciples heard that Peter was in Lydda, they sent two men to him and urged him, “Please come at once!” 39 Peter went with them, and when he arrived he was taken upstairs to the room. All the widows stood around him, crying and showing him the robes and other clothing that Dorcas had made while she was still with them. 40 Peter sent them all out of the room; then he got down on his knees and prayed. Turning toward the dead woman, he said, “Tabitha, get up.” She opened her eyes, and seeing Peter she sat up. 41 He took her by the hand and helped her to her feet. Then he called the believers and the widows and presented her to them alive. 42 This became known all over Joppa, and many people believed in the Lord.

So here was Dorcas, a woman who worked in the church. Dorcas was one of the first converts as a follower of Christ. I won’t call her a Christian because in that day of the bible it was considered a put down word that the heathens gave the people who believed that Christ was who he said he was. Instead the bible calls her a disciple of Christ. She has a lot to teach us.

The very first sentence was she was always doing good and helping the poor. Always means always. This wasn’t an exaggeration. We need to know when to say NO. We need to know when we need to rest and just hang out and go put our feet in the sand of a beach. There will always be things that people need but we also need to take care of ourselves. It says she became sick. What was she doing working when she was sick? I’m not talking working through a cold or working through being tired or working through a mild headache. This woman was obviously very sick because the next thing we see is she drops dead at work. Can you imagine that? So sick that she drops dead! She needed to be home in bed or in the hospital. She needed to take care of herself.

The people in her local church sent for the apostle Peter and he prayed and God raised her up from the dead. I wonder what she thought? What a powerful way to get a second chance. We are studying about assessing the situations in our lives. What do we need to do versus what can wait? How can we pace ourselves and still accomplish our goals? How can we take care of our bodies while still taking care of others? What is too much to do and what needs to be delegated to others? As one of the TLC women appropriately said, “We are little Dorkitas.” It was hysterically funny to me but so true. Can you relate to her story? Do you see where you need to change some things in your life, places to pick it up and places to lay it down? Read her story again. It’s a small story, powerful message. What is it speaking to you about?

Playing The Field

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James 4:1 Where do you think all these appalling wars and quarrels come from? Do you think they just happen? Think again. They come about because you want your own way, and fight for it deep inside yourselves. 2 You lust for what you don’t have and are willing to kill to get it. You want what isn’t yours and will risk violence to get your hands on it. 3 And why not? Because you know you’d be asking for what you have no right to. You’re spoiled children, each wanting your own way. 4 You’re cheating on God. If all you want is your own way, flirting with the world every chance you get, you end up enemies of God and his way.5 And do you suppose God doesn’t care? The proverb has it that “he’s a fiercely jealous lover.” 6 And what he gives in love is far better than anything else you’ll find. It’s common knowledge that “God goes against the willful proud; God gives grace to the willing humble.” 7 So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. 8 Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. 9 Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. 10 Get down on your knees before the Master; it’s the only way you’ll get on your feet.

11 Don’t bad-mouth each other, friends. It’s God’s Word, his Message, his Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You’re supposed to be honoring the Message, not writing graffiti all over it. 12 God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others? 13 And now I have a word for you who brashly announce, “Today – at the latest, tomorrow – we’re off to such and such a city for the year. We’re going to start a business and make a lot of money.” 14 You don’t know the first thing about tomorrow. You’re nothing but a wisp of fog, catching a brief bit of sun before disappearing. 15 Instead, make it a habit to say, “If the Master wills it and we’re still alive, we’ll do this or that.” 16 As it is, you are full of your grandiose selves. All such vaunting self-importance is evil. 17 In fact, if you know the right thing to do and don’t do it, that, for you, is evil. -The Message

Those Teachable Moments

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This week, a homeless couple came to the church looking for help. The girl looked not much over 18 if that, the boy looked about that age. Dirty, walking around town, they walked into our doors. We talked to them and discovered they had no place to stay for the night. Pastor Doug got out a food voucher for the grocery store and paid for a night in a motel.

The next day they were back at the church again looking for another food voucher and another night at a hotel. I asked what their story was. The girl told me that her parents live in our city! I was amazed to say the least. I asked her why she wasn’t staying with them. She promptly told me that they were of the Apostolic faith and they did not approve of her shacking up with her boyfriend. They would not allow her to stay there. Or rather, she corrected, she could stay there but he could not. The following day they were back again. Looking for more help they confessed that her aunt and uncle had taken them in for a night but she had argued with her uncle because he had stipulations to their stay.  He made her leave his home since she could not respect his home. I felt bad for them but my husband put it all in perspective for our family and I want to share it with you. He used it as an example to our children.

He said in this way, ‘This is why we think it’s so important that you follow our rules. We aren’t being harsh but we expect for you guys to help out around the house, be respectful and do things we ask of you. This young couple didn’t learn that lesson. They were given a home to stay in when they were homeless. Instead of being grateful for the roof, they instead began to argue with the owner. Because they never learned obedience they were unable to see the blessing they were being given. For us now to help them in their rebellion to her parents would not be the right thing to do. The best thing for this girl to do is to go home to her family and for her boyfriend to go to his parents home and to begin on the right foot.’

It impacted me because their dilemma was a product of their disobedience. They would rather be homeless than conform to the rules of their parent’s home and yet, were unable to support themselves and wanted others to help. Even after Pastor Doug had said all of this to this girl, she persisted in coming by the church each day. This girl was very determined and said she would not leave the church until she spoke directly to the pastor. In this moment, she didn’t have the sense to realize she didn’t have the power to demand anything.

I began to see a picture of her as a child in the grocery store saying, “Mom can I have a candy?” Her mother answering, “Not today.” “Mom, plllleeaaaseeee can I have a candy.” “Not today.” “Mooooommmmmm, please can I have candy? Mom, mom, mom, mom, please just one?” Her mother angry at her daughter’s persistence sighing and responding, “FINE! GO GET YOUR CANDY.”

It’s in those little teachable moments where character is built. The bible says to let our yes be yes and our no be no but how often do we give in? Would we still give in if we could see the bigger picture of the future? When our desire becomes one where no one is ever unhappy, we do whatever it takes knowing it’s the wrong thing to do.  I wonder, do we become accountable later for the results we created?

I do feel bad for this girl but not how you may think. I feel bad that no one ever taught her how to live within the rules of freedom. It came home in an example in our home immediately this week. One of our kids had refused to do their laundry on their day. When their dad asked why not they proudly stood up, hands on hips and said, “What difference does it make to you when I do it?” See, the point is not when you want to do it, the point is when it’s time to do it.This weekend when the same child wanted to go to the movies at a certain time guess what happened? Dad quietly said, “What difference does it make when I take you as long as I take you?” I think the lesson has been learned at least in our home.

Those of you who are still raising kids please read this and learn a valuable lessons. We can’t save our kids from all heartache but we can help in teaching early lessons that help later. Those of you who have raised your children but they are still sponging because of this exact thing, I pray that you let your yes be yes and your no be no. I know it hurts when our children are in pain and I can’t even imagine what it would feel like to have my daughter running around homeless and I pray I never have to know but it is all about choices and those little teachable moments.

Pro Age

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I love the Dove pro age campaign. I was one who had a problem with the term anti-aging, the alternative being grim. While I don’t want to look or feel old I am not ready to die either. Do you ever just take a long look in the mirror and see how your body is changing? For me ,over the last year or so, I’ve seen some major changes. In the past, weight being so easy to maintain is becoming a struggle. My gynecologist says <em>at my age</em> I have to double my workout routine. I have to be honest and say I don’t feel old enough to be a woman who “at my age” comments need to be made.

I see little lines beginning to form on my face and my skin beginning to feel like my moms. I had to laugh when a man came to me after church service. He said that he had to give me credit because when I raised my arms my skin doesn’t flop around like other women my age. (There’s that at your age comment again)! Uh, I didn’t know what to say to that. Thanks? Do you ever wish people had a filter?

I don’t know if I’ll ever have plastic surgery. I am not against it, I’m just scared to have surgery but will vanity outweigh fear at some point? I can’t say for sure. Age has taught me to never say never. (Okay, now I’m doing the “at my age” stuff). For now, I am perplexed and sometimes a little freaked out over the changes I see. I have gray hair coming in. Not a lot so far, I have seen about a dozen strands but they are there nevertheless, my stylist calls them “the nine”. So I have to keep my hair appointments going so they don’t show. Thank you Jesus that dye was created!

I am learning not to take my body for granted anymore. I am trying to eat better, exercise more and take life a little easier. In my mind I don’t feel old though. I guess I am beginning to understand why my mom randomly says, “How is it that I have a daughter who is 44?” Age just creeps up on you.

When I look at the lines that are beginning to appear I have to say I have earned them. Life hasn’t been easy but it’s been an adventure. So many people come to Christ expecting that it’s like finding a genie in a bottle. Problem with that is that the bible doesn’t say life will be a piece of cake, it says to gain your life you have to lose your life. Sounds complicated but it really isn’t. You just begin to live for things outside of yourself. You begin to focus on the bigger picture. Suddenly it’s not all about you.

In this picture I look comfortable with myself even though I have no makeup on. I struggled whether to post it or not because it’s not my best look but whatever. To me, I look like I’ve figured out who I am. I have learned to be at peace with myself. I look at my eyes in this picture and it looks to me like I have a secret of well-being and a sense of humor. Here’s the secret: Life is meant to be lived, not to be observed, so make the very best of each situation. Trials and heartache are going to come but God was right when he said this too shall pass. I’ll leave you with this question. One year ago today what were you worried about? Most of the time, we don’t even remember what it was but at the time it was super important. So just enjoy your life. How’s that for a woman my age?

He Is A Confidant

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The word confidant means trustworthy, the one with whom secrets are entrusted. That’s what I love about making my Lord my secret keeper is that he is good at it. I just pour out my heart to him and he keeps it. He’s trustworthy like no other person I have ever met. He is one who can keep my heart. You see, he tells me;

Proverbs 4:23 – Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

Often though, women tend to give their hearts away as if they can grow another. We can’t and we aren’t supposed to. We are to guard our own hearts. We can share our hearts and that’s a wonderful thing but we don’t let go of it. That is against what we know to be the will of God. So when we say to someone, “You broke my heart.” Well, you gave it when you shouldn’t have. At any moment you need to be able to handle your heart.

God is good at being trustworthy with your heart. He is trustworthy and whether you believe it or not is, he has your best interest at heart. I was raised Catholic and my idea of God was one in which I saw a Moses looking figure on a throne waiting to electrocute me with a flash from his finger. When I was older and really saw his heart towards me I realized he wanted to be my dad. He wanted to hear my worries, he wanted to hear my dreams, he wanted to hear my fears and my accomplishments. He wanted a relationship with me where he could listen and speak. He wanted to be my confidant.

I trust him with all of my being to know me enough to not ever step on my heart. The man you are looking for can be your confidant. He may fumble your heart, but remember you are there to catch it so that it doesn’t harm you, but it will truly not be malicious or thought out. We all fail each other at times. Overall though, he must have the character of God.

Grateful

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Rodney

My life ain’t that bad. I’m in Texas as I write, so I thought I’d use their vernacular. I am here on unpleasant business. My brother-in-law, my husband’s only sibling has passed away at the age of 39. We are here to attend the services and to attend to my in-laws.

It is in moments like these when you realize how fragile life is. You are handed a measure of days long before you ever existed. The key is to make the most of those days. Rodney Young was a man that when we thought about it, we couldn’t think of a single person who disliked him. Everyone thought he was a good guy. He left behind my nephew Nathaniel who is 12. Nathaniel looks exactly like his father. Rodney was separated from his wife, Tawana, for a couple of years now, yet interestingly enough, they had been talking recently and he died in her mother’s home on a visit to see Tawana and Nathaniel. Life has a way doesn’t it, of teaching us about wasted time?

Rodney had called my husband, the day before he died. Doug had missed the call as we had taken the kids to Six Flags Great America and we didn’t hear it ring. The message was simple, “Hey bro, just calling to check on you and tell you I love you.” Doug called him back later that evening but Rodney didn’t answer. The last message Doug left was, “Tag you’re it. This is my second call to you. Love you.” He never got the chance to answer.

My in-laws are devastated. I have never lost a child but it’s so unnatural to do so, that it is must be a shock to the heart. We all think our child will bury us so it seems out of order. When it happens out of the blue, the reaction is even worse I presume, as there is no time for the brain to prepare.

My brother-in-law was a super nice guy. My husband and he were really close. Doug being the older brother by six years, always looked after his brother. Rodney would call Doug for advice and when they lived in the same town as we did, Rodney would be over our home often.

Today, I am grateful for my life for I don’t know when it will be my final day. I presume to think that I will be an old woman one day, but that may not be the will of God. So we need to live each day to fullest. We need to touch the lives of others. We need to talk to them about Jesus and we need to recognize that when the bible says our lives are but a vapor, it really means just that.

Today I am grateful for my family. I have a good man who calls me his wife and who would swim through shark infested waters to bring me a lemonade. I have my kids , two of whom live on their own, aren’t on the streets and love the Lord. I have a great job that I enjoy and good friends and family. What are you grateful for? Take a good assessment of that. You’ll be glad you did.

TLC4Women

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As the TLC summer series comes to a close it’s time once again to set the vision for the new year and to remind the women who are a part of TLC about what our goals were from the start.

Transforming Life Center was started with the premise that once we were born again, we had to learn to live a new life in Christ. This meant we had to leave a lot of the things we knew before behind so that we could learn new things that would take us to the purpose and plan of who we are.

Romans 12:2-And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Romans 12:2 is the verse that carries our ministry forward. Our goal in everything we do is to move forward and forget those things that are behind us. In dealing with our pasts once and for all, we then put it behind us as it no longer defines us. Then, applying those things we have learned, we move forward, becoming more aware of who God is and what he is doing in our lives. We aren’t about becoming the Church Ladies, there are enough of those already, we are about becoming disciples of Christ.

So what does TLC have in store for this next year of study?

  • We have four bible studies coming up. We are continual learners and we have a desire to know God more intimately day by day.
  • We have a conference to plan that is just around the corner.  This is a lot of work for us but the end result is that the word goes forth and women’s lives are transformed by the messages that the speakers have for us!
  • We have a scholarship that we are going to give to a deserving senior this next year. We have got to begin to put our words into action. If in fact, we are students for life then we place a high value on education and we will put our efforts where our mouth is.
  • We are mentoring the youth and college-aged women who are coming up behind us. We have a class set up for them that is being put together as we speak. We are taking the charge in Titus of the older women teaching the younger and applying it where it is most needed our youth girls.
  • We are going to work closely with Moms Against Hunger to help feed the world.
  • We have a “detergent ministry” where we go to the laundromats around town and distribute detergent.
  • Finally, this year, we are adopting a child from Compassion Ministries whom we will support with gifts and letters.

Our mandate is big this year but our hearts are strengthened by the word that has already gone forth and been implanted into our ministry. We are pregnant with vision, power, prophesy and courage as we move forward in the new endeavors of this year!

I am proud of these women and look forward to a destiny and purpose that we may think we know but watch God blow our minds!

We’re Lost In A Masquerade

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Hi, how are you?
Me? I’m GREAT! My whole world is fantastic. I am blessed and highly favored. Blah, blah, blah.

Do you ever just wish you could talk to someone honestly about real life things going on in your life? Those of us who profess to follow Christ are supposed to be doing well all the time. Only, HELLO?!!, life happens and even the bible says trials come, so no one promised you perfection.

I believe there is a blessing in honesty that you can’t get behind your feathery, sequined masquerade mask. There is perspective and sometimes there is healing, in opening up to your true self. What scares us about being honest with each other? Well first, there is the judgment. “She’s supposed to be saved and she can’t even get her kids to do their chores.” Uh, yeah, I can’t always. Guess what? God can’t get his kids to do their chores either, so I think I am in good company. When women come to me with their problems often they say something self-effacing, which really saddens me. It’s really sad that we can’t be human with each other. When someone reaches out for help, rather than help, we rejoice that we are not having that same issue in our life therefore, we must be better. We aren’t. We are different but equal.

Second, there is the trustworthy issue. We can’t confide because then, WOOHOOO! LET THE GOSSIPING BEGIN. Because we are so content to be busybodies, we love to have someone to talk about. We judge and gossip, so then we wouldn’t dare tell anyone our problems because we know exactly what they are going to do with information. Exactly what we do. Tell everyone. This has to stop. We have to learn to be confidants to those in our lives. And don’t hide your gossipy self with cryptic gossip either. I remember once this person came to me and said, “Pastor Susan, don’t worry about me. You can feel free to tell me anything. I know lots of stuff about the women here and I haven’t said anything.” When someone says something like this to you RUN! These people love the power of knowing something. While we are here on this subject, Holy Gossip is still gossip. “I want us to pray for Sister Agnes. Her husband is having an affair and we just need to lift her up in prayer.” I hate holy gossip. We have to be trustworthy. Period.

We can’t take our own mask off because then the bloodbath begins. The minute some smell trouble, they run to get a piece of that person. You know, sometimes I wonder if human beings are really as elevated as they proclaim to be? Can we show a little compassion and maybe some love?

Taking off your mask is a big risk but being authentic is what we are called to be. Yet, we all need a place to be authentic and be able to have a soft place to fall. Many people don’t have that. I love that I have friends with whom I can just be honest. I love the fact that I also work hard to be that friend. We need to love one another enough to be honest and then be woman enough to take that honesty without offense and keep that confidence between us.

Decide today that you are going to be a person of value and worth. That means that when someone comes to you they are able to take their mask off for a while and be themselves. In a world that demands you to have it all together be a place of soft landing. Find that person with whom you can take your mask off. Trust me when I tell you that your life will be richer and you will feel better about yourself. I can’t imagine feeling good about faking it. I can’t imagine wearing the mask all the time. I don’t know about you, but I desire a deeper relationship with my friends and loved ones, rather than one in which it’s all a masquerade.

Jealousy

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Jealously makes us do crazy things doesn’t it? The bible says God is jealous and since we are made in his image, then the crazy things we do are justified right? Wrong. Jealously has two distinct aspects to it. One is godly and one is evil. Today I am going to attempt to teach you the difference.

God is jealous for you, not of you. He is never jealous of your accomplishments and successes. He is happy for you. God wants you to be happy and well and wants to look after you. He would never interfere in your life without your permission but he wants the best for you. He guards you and expects you to guard him.

The opposite of God’s jealousy is the evil jealously that permeates our culture, with the need to have what we see others have. It is one where we get hurt and mad and dejected if our girlfriends go out to the movies or to dinner without us. Or our boyfriends and husbands dare to do a guy thing without us. How dare they? Evil jealousy where we don’t have joy over another’s success.

The beautiful jealously, that is worthy and right, is being vigilant of a confidence well guarded with a cherished friend. Godly jealousy is the lunch date you would not cancel with a friend whom you rarely get to see. The time you give to the Lord that is just yours and His alone and that you relish and keep no matter what. It’s the kind of jealousy that you see your best friend’s perfect haircut and you rejoice with her and tell her you are jealous that she has found the right cut for her face but you’d expect and want nothing more for her! It is the joy in finding out your best friend is pregnant when you have been trying for years, your jealousy over your friendship supersedes any malice for what you lack, that she has been blessed with. All of these show that you are jealous for the person and all that they have to offer and not of what they are getting that you are not.

Your God is a jealous God and you are made in his image. That doesn’t excuse the poor behavior that we justify by saying it’s in our nature. There is a difference.