Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m missing the chip that other women have. Yes, I’m going to completely admit up front that it’s totally me. I don’t get into the vampire movies. I could care less about vampire love and vampire friendships. In fact, I had my share of bloodsuckers in my life and I don’t care to watch it on TV. Confused? Me too!
No, I’m not talking about fantasy vampires, I’m talking about the ones you have in real life. Yes, sometimes we encounter and befriend real vampires. Their purpose is to suck the life out of you with their emotional turmoil. In my younger days, when I had more blood to give, I thought they needed me. It fed my ego to think I could offer solutions to their problems, but it never seemed to fail, the more problems we discussed, the more problems there were. Pretty soon, I was anemic as I watched my blood drip from their lips.
I took a step back and realized I had not been helpful at all. In fact, the same problems were the same problems, I had not served them well, nor had I fed them anything nutritious, I was merely junk food. The extreme demands on my time on their part, and the lack of boundaries on my part, were doing us both no good.
In the vampire movies the damsel looks into the eyes of the vampire and sees need. She misinterprets that need and winds up a slave. In real life we need to take better care of the vampires and ourselves by really discerning between true need and emotional neediness because there is a huge difference.
When I read the bible many people came to ask Jesus for help. He helped them, a word of advice, a healing touch, a teaching, a reminder of scripture, but then he was off to help others. His time was limited, his resources were unlimited yes, but they needed to be spread out. I am reminded of the story of the loaves and fish when every single crumb was picked up after the meal (Matthew 14:14-21). We can do the same thing.
There will always be people who need your help. Help them. Then, recognize your ability, your time, your resources and don’t get sucked in. If you’re already there, as I was, you’ll need to disengage. It doesn’t have to be ugly, it just has to be honest. After all you’re friends right? Well, this may end up being the test but whether that friendship endures or fades, you’ll have rid yourself of your vampire obsession!