Today I am 46 and feeling happy in the knowledge that I’m not so self-focused as 20 years ago, and I am not so worried about life these days. I spend my time working, serving, and enjoying life. I spend my time trying to be a good wife to my husband and a good mom to my kids. These things seemingly look like little things but they are big things to the world I contribute to.

I wish I could write that I had some answers to life’s toughest questions, but I realize the older I get the less I know. I was a genius at 18, but somewhere along the road of life, I lost my edge and gained perspective.

There are things weighing heavily on my mind these days. There is an urgency I feel to live out what I believe. 46 years went by quickly, and if this next half goes by half as fast, 92 looms large on the horizon and time is short. I want people to know Jesus. Sometimes I see and hear situations of the mess of people’s lives and think to myself that I wish I had a crash cart to bring them to life. There is so much life to live if we’ll just look out beyond our circumstances.

I’m concerned with my health as I see little things falling apart. I’m a woman who loves a high heeled shoe but these days, my knee hurts when I’m in a pair of 4″ all day, I haven’t stopped wearing the shoes though, I am learning to live through the pain. Then there are wrinkles showing up. I hear there’s an app for that, and I am vain enough to look into it, but not sure if I’m brave enough to follow through with it. Shots in the face kinda scare me a little, but maybe not enough. Tune in to see what transpires.

On my birthday, I always think of my mom. She did all the work to make this day happen then she happily celebrated and gave me all the credit. I hope one day I’m half the woman she is.