Category: Friendship

These Are The Threads Of Our Lives

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Have you ever realized how many people you touch each and every day? I don’t mean physically touch but I mean touch by a word, or a smile or a not so friendly hand gesture in traffic? Part of being a human being on the planet is that we are interconnected and those little things we do matter.

Saying thank you, holding a door open, stopping to actually listen when you ask someone how they are doing are all ways in which we touch each other’s lives. Here is what God asks for us to do,

Romans 12:9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

I know it’s hard to like those people who drive you up the wall but we have to try. We never know the impact we make on a person. Someone, whom I’ve known for years said to me recently, “You know what I like about you? You are always the same. At church, at the gym, at the grocery store. You never change, you’re just you and you stop to talk to people even when we know you are busy.” I thought it about it afterward and had to say a little prayer to God as a thanks that he has given me a place  in my heart for caring about others. 

Doesn’t it just make you feel better when you are out running errands and out of the blue someone “honors” you by saying something sweet or holding a door open? Doesn’t it give you a boost when you are behind someone in line at the grocery store and their basket is overflowing with groceries and you have three things to pay for, they look over at you and NOTICE YOU! Then they further make your day great by saying, “Please go ahead of me in line, you only have a few things.” Wow! That doesn’t happen often does it? Or the person who randomly says, “You look great today.”

As transformed people, let’s make sure we are cognizant of those around us and take time out to notice people and to find a positive thing to say or do, if nothing else, a smile goes a long way!


Accountability

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My husband walks in the other night after a counseling session and says, “I pulled a Susan Young tonight.” Okay, that got my attention so I said, “What does that mean?” He goes with a big sarcastic grin, “You know, one of those ‘quit whining and feeling sorry for yourself take responsibility for your part in this and get up and get moving’ speeches you give.” Really I had to admit he was right.

Do you have someone in your life that tells you the truth? Have you surrounded yourself with people who agree with every thought or action you have? You can really get messed up with the scenario of everyone around you thinking how wonderful you are. I believe we have to have people in our life who speak the truth CONstructively not DEstructively. There is no point in having someone in your life who only wants to put you down to build themselves up falsely. You want someone who will tell you the truth because they love you and want to see you grow and not get stuck in the muck you’ve helped create or are about to create. My grandma used to say, “If I don’t tell you the truth no one else will.” I am praying that you have more than just your grandma telling you the truth!

I have people in my life who tell me the truth and even though sometimes it stings and I don’t always agree at that moment, it makes me think. Once I examine what they say though, I find that usually they are right. In the end, I believe that they have my best interest at heart. These people keep me accountable to my true self. They help me stay focused on who I am trying to become and keep me from making dumb mistakes that will hurt me.

The bible says there is wisdom in a multitude of counsel (Proverbs 15:22) and that is true IF you have surrounded yourself with smart people. My husband says all the time that you should not be the smartest person you know. One thing I know for sure, I am not the smartest person I know.

I would caution you to know your friends and their motives. Don’t be paranoid just wise. In relationships with other women we tend to be jealous and catty sometimes so we throw the digs around. Most women tend to have that friend who wants to be your friend even at the cost of their own personal opinion and that hurts both of you in the end. They are the friends who only tell you what you want to hear. Build your friendship to the level where your friends are able to talk to you. I am not talking aquaintances here, I am talking real friends.

Proverbs 27:9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel. 

Instead look for and find friends who have a life of their own and don’t want yours. Find firends who aren’t trying to hurt you and be careful that you aren’t so self-focused that you think everyone wants your life. Believe me when I tell you that when you have contented people in your life, they don’t want to be you and they certainly don’t pity you. They desire a true friendship with you, without conditions. Yes, they are hard to find but when you do find them, keep them! Just as you want those friends in your life, be that friend! What good does it do to agree with a friend going off of a cliff? So get some people in your life that will occasionally pull a Susan Young on you!