When our son Anthony got D’s on his report card, he hid the report card. The school mailed home a copy and we saw the D problem. We went to the school to speak to the teachers to find out what the issue was. See, Anthony’s story changed depending on whom he talked to. To his teacher he said, he didn’t see what the deal was if he didn’t do the homework because he was getting A’s on the test. To his father he cried and said he didn’t get how to do the work and his teacher wouldn’t help him. To me he said, he would just shove the homework to the bottom of the backpack and not do it. So we went in to talk to the three teachers involved. While we were waiting for our meeting we could hear a parent yelling at the principal about how her child was being picked on and how it was the teacher’s fault. The parent honestly did not care that others could hear her tirade. Seriously, I can’t even imagine yelling at the teacher or the principal. He or she has so much work on their plate. They not only have to deal with 30 students, they have to prepare their lessons, grade papers, deal with parents, deal with the politics of their job and take the abuse that is coming their way when Johnny can’t or won’t do what he is being asked to do. And Johnny knows full well that the teacher is powerless to stop him from doing what he wills.
We went into the meeting with the teachers humbly. Now let’s face it, we could have asked why they waited until the report card was out to notify us. We could have yelled about our child saying he didn’t get the work but we weren’t there to point fingers. We were there to learn what the problem was and how to correct it. That is when we figured out that our child had been lying to everyone and that deficiencies were sent home. So you see, our problem was not the school, our problem was at home. We took responsibility for our child. The fact is we didn’t check to see if homework was being done.
Isn’t that really how it is? For the most part, your parenting issues lie squarely in your lap. I know there are those rare exceptions and I know that we don’t always have the best of teachers but c’mon, that’s not normal. The reality is, change the teacher, change the environment and still what’s in our child is what is going to come out and what is in our child is what we determined to put in.
More on this topic later.