Being Played

http://www.flickr.com/ photos/creeeeeeee/ 3369789771/

There are some people who are just exhausting to be with. They go from one drama to the other. Life is never peaceful in their world. The more drama they have the better life gets. How do we deal with those people and what can we do to keep from being dragged into the pit with them?

First off recognize the behavior and refuse to be played. People who are emotional manipulators will never have enough of your time. They will always need more from you, no matter how much of your time you give them, whether it be 10 minutes or 10 hours, it will be less than what they need. They will drain you with their needs. Be mindful of yourself and your capabilities. Don’t allow them to guilt you into more time.

Don’t get caught up in their drama. You are being played when the person will not only carry their own drama to you, but they’ll also give you the drama of every single person they know. They aren’t interested in fixing the problem which caused the drama, they just like the wallowing factor of being there. They love being the one in the know of the drama, but they won’t contribute to a solution because it’s just too much fun to be wrapped in it. Have you ever seen a dog after they’ve had a bath? They run out to roll in the stink of dirt. They aren’t interested in being clean, the smell of yuck is the better draw. How’s that for a visual?

This person will be emotional about everything! Big highs, big lows, and no matter what you do to try to make it better, it will never be enough. They will be the first to volunteer to help you, but they will also sigh, complain, never finish the job and remind you constantly that they helped you. What they will do in the end is not follow your instructions, and refuse to be accountable for their inability to handle the project. Your best bet is to hold them accountable and not get caught up in their drama. If you let them know that they forgot something, they will give you a list of their latest dramas to try to make you feel guilty for asking anything of them.

Unfortunately, this person won’t make a good friend overall. They may seem like they really want to be your friend but their only agenda is to take away from you. Ultimately, they are very selfish people who want the world to revolve around them. They don’t see past their need to be the center of attention. So while they may look as if they are there for you in a crisis, it’s only to get their latest fix. They will move on as soon as the next victim has a trauma. You may be lured into trying to help them, but recognize that this personality needs professional help and directing them to that process is your best bet.

Published in: on July 5, 2010 at 7:25 am  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Amen sister, some people are so exhausting you get drained just knowing you are going to be around them…I work hard at trying to change negatives in to positives everything they say comes out “woah is me”. I asked the Lord please don’t let me get impatient, I find myself wanting to avoid being around them, I know they need positive influence and fellowship so therefore I pray HARD before being in the company of all the drama..PS I have a few drama queens in my family and you don’t look forward to the family get together’s anymore but when I really pray hard before attending God let’s it work out. This sunday we had a big event my grandson’s first birthday with a bunch of family that don’t usually come together, but we did and I had a blast, the days leading up to it the drama queen wanting to talk about everyone behind there backs but, I just said”be thankful they are in your sons life and they are here” stopped the queen in her tracks and she no longer whispered bad comments about people (at least to me) I am sure she found other drama queens there:)

  2. Wow, I was just thinking of a person I know who is poised to do this. I’ve been played quite often. Each time I learn something new about how to handle this personality type and build up the good neighbor fences.

    I don’t get played as much anymore because I realized these people don’t want anything really but to wallow in the muck. I refuse to go there with them, though I sympathize with the real stuff they present.


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