I took a month off of social media. At first, I must confess I missed it terribly. I had not realized how much I cared about what you had for dinner, how brilliant you think your kids are, how much you hate or love President Trump, guns, friends, and people who park in the handicap parking, but I plowed forward. I so wanted to show you pictures of our grandson Cameron, and our new puppy Baron, and share the funny stuff my husband says. Alas, it was only 30 days.
I was able to think more clearly without distractions and I was able to hear more clearly without the other voices. Here is what I learned about myself:
1. I joined the masses of people who are reading about the Enneagram. I read The Road Back To You and completed the study guide and discovered that I am an 8 who wings 7.
Which may explain my thoughts on:
2. I have spent the better part of a year with a man who feels he must mansplain me in public. I have stood down, somewhat astounded and trying to just figure it out. Although his attacks aren’t personal as they weren’t exclusive to me, lest I think too highly of myself. Time and experience has taught me to observe before I move forward. I used to be impulsive and that got me in trouble so I have learned to proceed thoughtfully. I am still scratching my head as to why I allowed his complaining and obstinate behavior for so long but I think, if I’m honest, I was fascinated by the psychology of it his and mine.
I read the about the #metoo campaign. What keeps us from using our voice? I heard Jane Fonda, whom I consider a feminist, meaning I think she thinks she stands for the cause of women’s issues, say she was ashamed for not speaking up about what she knew about Harvey Weinstein. I blame it on conditioning. Men, in general, have acted superior in the workplace for decades and women for decades have acquiesced because we were just glad we got a seat at the table. Phooey on that. While I don’t condone the accusations that are stretches, and I do believe there are political agendas, I’m seasoned enough to know they happen. It was just odd to have it happen in the church which is supposed to be free of gender inequality.
3. I really love my life. Through a series of errors that God has fixed for me through his grace, mercy, and probably because I think I make him laugh and shake his head, I find myself here in this time and space. Is everything perfect? No, there are things in my life that I wish with all of my heart could be right. While I work on that, I must say it’s good to be alive, to be loved, to be known, to be well, to be happy, to be me.
That’s what 30 days can do. What do you know for sure about you?